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Death Talkies: Wheel of Time [Apr/04 P66] (Page 18)

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Posted: 01 December 2009 at 7:45pm | IP Logged
ahh recoil..beautiful flow- the back and forth dual..and esp. loved the ending.
Clap


Edited by olive_green - 01 December 2009 at 7:46pm

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Posted: 01 December 2009 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sri_4

hey sookie*
great one dear,,
recoil!!!!loved the name.......
and loved the way u wrote it..so lovely!!!
good wishes..
sri:-)


Thanks Sri. I liked the title too (also the episode!) Thanks very much for your comment.

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Posted: 01 December 2009 at 8:04pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by olive_green

ahh recoil..beautiful flow- the back and forth dual..and esp. loved the ending.
Clap


Thanks! I was going for an adverb-less writing which I am not sure if I was able to achieve. I read an article somewhere that  the only complaint critics had against JK Rowling was in her excessive usage of adverbs. So this was sort of an experiment to see how adverb-less (or fewer adverbs) writing would look like :-)
On a side note, I resisted myself from posting what I actually wrote day before yesterday. Like happiness, even tragedies get a break.


Edited by Sookie* - 01 December 2009 at 8:04pm

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Posted: 01 December 2009 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
you took me back to class seven with the word 'adverb' :) not an expert on language...so i wouldn't have been able to figure that out had you not pointed to it. it does seem like the end word re-affirms the first part in a few sentences.Smile

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Posted: 01 December 2009 at 9:17pm | IP Logged
adverbs, was it? (@reply to aria) i thought ... i read something about excess adjectives... i thought also, i read sometime, quite a while ago, about how a certain piece of literature had been accomplished devoid of adjectives... jeez! i can't for the life of me remember the details (memo to self, call dad)

'recoil'ing to the post, :) victorian witch had to win! ... why is it such a trend to glimpse something of our chats in ur writing so soon after? (in this case, i'm certain it wasn't even inspired!)

cheers,
nj

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Posted: 01 December 2009 at 9:22pm | IP Logged
Code of Conduct
 
She sat in an overcrowded bar sipping an exotic drink, her dress pooling around her as an obedient slave. Singles' heaven, she noted ironically, where one was actually a single or pretended to be one. She particularly didn't care.

She exhaled hot smoke which had managed to burn some of her frustration and residual anger. Why was she single again? The arsons of reasons had run out and ammunition to hunt for a new one was rusted. Everything had just stopped. After few times, she had stopped searching for reasons too. With time, all those things don't matter anymore, she thought.

Or maybe she was a hopeless escapist.

The bartender slipped a drink on the table which sashayed along the wetness of the table and landed inside the curl of her palm. It reminded her of an old western movie watched with a dear one after ditching school on a lazy afternoon. The bartender jabbed his thumb in a random direction and she turned her head to see a man raising a glass in acknowledgment. She didn't miss the leer in his smile or smugness in his stance. She shrugged and chugged the drink in one shot.

No, she didn't care anymore. Loneliness was definitely a bitch.

Once her head returned after being jackknifed with strong alcohol, she realized that the man was now seated next to her with an inviting grin. She vaguely remembered him telling her that her dress was beautiful. She knew how that line would end, given a place like this ' "but it would look better on the floor." The man left the line unfinished and she continued to nurse a new drink.

A few years ago, she would have turned a million shades of red if only someone uttered this to her, even as a joke. Now, she would probably throw back a witty retort or ignore or perhaps even acknowledge the fact.

Comedy, like irony, is subjective. Or was it simply innocence lost? She didn't care.

"Red looks good on you", he says.

"It's not red. Its vermillion", she says.

"Aren't they same?" He is curious.

"Not for me", she replies, slaps some money on the counter and walks away.

Escaping loneliness could wait. She had an old western to watch.

As she walked, she wondered if innocence was also something subjective.

I hope it is, she silently prays.

Sookie

PS: I have deadlines for next few hours but here I am, sitting in office and writing this. I could not get this out of my head so decided, what the heck and wrote it. Any mistkaes - grammatical, typos or even contextual, kindly ignore (better yet, comment on it.); will fix those tonight.

And please. Someone make me stop!

Edited by Sookie* - 01 December 2009 at 9:23pm

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Posted: 01 December 2009 at 9:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by olive_green

you took me back to class seven with the word 'adverb' :) not an expert on language...so i wouldn't have been able to figure that out had you not pointed to it. it does seem like the end word re-affirms the first part in a few sentences.Smile
 
:-) Am not an expert either but I like experimentation of styles. Yeah, you are right in your observation. I spent so much time trying to find out the right words, last night Smile The thing is, we use these words quite often but actually using the right one in the right context was kind of challenging.

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Posted: 01 December 2009 at 9:26pm | IP Logged
I am not spamming


**reserved**
Smile

Edit>>

I really wished this was longer...has to be one of my favorites- just the sheer irony- people are mere puppets in the hands of time..love how she makes a statement by paying for her drink....this one's going to stay in my mind for a while

Edited by olive_green - 02 December 2009 at 10:50pm

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