Death Talkies: Wheel of Time [Apr/04 P66] - Page 3

Posted: 14 years ago
it was beautiful, perfectly describing the turmoil one goes through at the time..short yet sweet...
Posted: 14 years ago
Just read the second one.. and there is somethign very nice about the pattern u write .. i dont mean theconcept at all..but the way ur story flows.. the words u use nad hte way it takes the reader.. I like it and these short ones are so much heavy with emotions... hmmm I found the stories a great peice of work.... i dont know whether u ever have read any of gajra kottary books... she is an indian author... writes in english... i have red very very books..but i like reading her short stories... some how i visualised her stories as i went throguh reading these... by the way gajra kottary is also the writer to Asitva ek prem kahani..and recently balika badhu she has put her inputs...
 
good work Sookie.. will read more of the collection and comment... :)
tc
Bhoomi
Posted: 14 years ago
Sookie, I liked hte third one .. the canvas one.. firstly the title is really well thought.. and hte way words came about.. surely not less than a poem.. the emotions and hte last line made the whole story complete... i think i could well understnad each feelign in that word.... hm i do like sketching so i could visualise the whole conept too... luved this one... its sooo short but it said soo much ..and will keep it in memory for longggg.. wonderful piece again...thanks a bunch for sharing dear..
 
tc
Bhoomi
 
Posted: 14 years ago
hey sookie..this was very sweet..
 
I guess the person is a writer..but she has no ideas bcuz she's thinkin of someone she hurt..and she's writing his/her name..that was really sweet!..but she did write srry..n tats gud..
 
thnx 4 d PM
do write more
 
-aish
Posted: 14 years ago
aite! death talkies (u wana call the thread that?) ... or just recovering from death strokes? (:D )

dunno why such morbid talk, and personally, for the first, i like the description, only. (did i ever mention, if not ask nij... i have such a thing -X- for morbid writing... :-| ... this kind that is... such a contradiction considering im all up for readiong the worst possible historical riots... whatever they may be, however greusome they get... perhaps, cause they are history, and im in their future, and know we survived? ... in that way, perhaps, survival becomes a heroic ending to anything possibly morbid... aite... now im making little sense only... if!)

for the second! wow! u reminded me of 11 minutes, in only that tiny bit of course, but!! :) and no im not a cohelo fan at all... but that was a hell of a picture u painted! in a rare chance i actually thought i saw the eyes (imagine that, for the countless times every writing of fics on this forum never misses a chance to mention them!) so yeh! good job...

once more though, im still trying to figure why, im taken more by the words, than the theme... in fact, the theme takes me not at all... maybe, actually most likely, cause i dont see where u come from? (as in, where this writing comes from... as in (urgh repetitive phrasing) why...? which is bad question... there never should be a why to writing... thats the whole point, right?!)

great words, can't take that away from u! :)
Posted: 14 years ago
Hey!
 
my fingers writes those three little words that my pride hadn't allowed me for a while.
"I am sorry."
these 3 words sound simple when apart.. but when to be told out together.. sometimes its very hard.. very well display of anguish Sookie!
Posted: 14 years ago
awesome sookie..
i am sorry -just 3 words ..lovely !!!
sometimes i really dont understand what u want to express..
or may be i am very blunt to understand them..they seems to be easy and complicated both at the same time..
but still i like the way u write it..
thnks fro PM...
looking forward for more..
good wishes..
have a great day..
sri:-)Edited by sri_4 - 14 years ago
Posted: 14 years ago
Originally posted by olive_green


wonderful words sookie.
the first entry immendiately got me thinking back to this poem, i had written years ago- entitled 'born again' about an untimely death and a yearning to live again as the soul struggled to exist in between the two worlds...i'm pasting a few lines from it here - they are not in the exact order..but just a few lines

Till on fine dusk when mercy was showered on

Soul felt emancipated from ages of cruel reality to boundaries unknown


Where word less voices echoed, revived all, passed on words that touched the core

Somewhere between all this, I lay to rest for the final time

Now when I open my eyes I feel flesh and smell the air

I stand on the very place, I had known before


Only this time I inhale the air that lets us live

Can hear the beats of life that I had longed for so long!



Aria!
This is brilliant. Perhaps your lines have summed up everything I wanted to say in the first place. I so wish those words were mine.
But I am really glad you shared them here! :-)

My favorite line:
Only this time I inhale the air that lets us live

Simply brilliant. It says so many things and l just love it.

Thanks a million for this..
Sookie
Edited by Sookie* - 14 years ago
Posted: 14 years ago
Hello Everyone,

My apologies for not replying to your comments till date. I had been really caught up with work and lets just say I did not venture to this section as frequently as I would have liked to.

I promise to be more punctual in responding to your comments going forward.

Thank you so much for your comments and kind words. They mean a lot to me.

Sookie
Edited by Sookie* - 14 years ago
Posted: 14 years ago

Hung out to dry

I watch sloshing of amber liquid amidst perfectly shaped ice cubes in a cut crystal glass. There is a burn in my throat and my tongue is parched. The liquid fire in my hand only adds on to the misery.

They talk, I try to listen.

And when he talks, I try to ignore.

But I can't. I hate him for making me incapable of ignoring his presence.

I wonder if I can whisper this to the man next to me who is talking with flailing arms and cutting words.He might ask me to stop being juvenile and let him do his job. Or maybe he would listen to me.

I pay him by the hour anyway.

There are four strangers in this meeting; two by choice and two by lack of it. Whose fault was it? Mine or his? Or was it ours?

Or was it the universe plotting against us? Very Starwar-ish, my drunken haze retorts. It's more like badly written episode of "Ally McBeal", it muses. I laugh. I think its "Boston Legal", I try to correct. The man next to me looks at me wearily. His stare is always loud. Now its yelling at me - Stop getting sloshed and talking to yourself else they will add "one step away from loony bin" clause.

I gulp down noisily to drown his stare-yell.

I made up a new word, I cheer myself.

Ice swims in Amber, cut class starts to stain red, my finger prints makes the glass lose its shine and clock ticks without bothering to understand anyone's business. Lucky clock, I suppose.

The man next to me points at stack of papers. I have seen, read and once even thrown them across the man sitting opposite to me. A pen is resting next to it.
Everyone's eyes are on me.
I feel like a soldier who is asked to behead an innocent man.
"Who is innocent here", my heart admonishes.
"Not you", my mind mocks me.
"Screw you both", I silently yell.
"You already did", they murmur softly.

It's too late, amber whispers in its swirl. Ice cubes tinkle and agree with it.

I refill my glass and feel his silent glare. He won't say anything, I am sure of it. Ties that bind us are hanging by a thin worn thread which is about to be broken permanently.

Arguments. Negotiations. Compromises. Endings.

Its mocking me, its inviting me, its consuming me in its big fat belly filled with words. I twirl the glass. Amber encourages me at the same time when the paper invites.

Throat burns. Eyes water. Hands shake. Head hurts.

I scrawl my sign.

 I am suddenly tired.

~Sookie

Edited by Sookie* - 14 years ago

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