Why Marry? (Page 4)

Kids not a issue....cos

Edited by Girl_2007 - 12 November 2009 at 12:44pm

Marriage exists. Love exists as well. Because there's someone out there made for each one of us. Someone who we're destined to spend the rest of our lives with. I really do believe that. Love makes the world go round, whether its love between a guy and a girl, a parent and a child, or any two people. I don't think that we, as humans, would be able to function without knowing that there is someone we can turn to, someone who we can depend on.

Perhaps this is naive, but I do think that unconditional love exists as well. We just don't realize it soon enough. The biggest mistake is that we tend to look for people who will love us unconditionally, and forget to look for those who we love unconditionally.

The issue of polygamy is a complex one. It is hard for me to wrap my head around the concept. I'll get back to you on that one.

Also, I haven't read through the thread, so I'm not sure if my post follows the right direction or not.

I would like to post an individual response to many posts here, but a general one is easier when a bit lazy.

Perhaps the topic heading is a misleader and I do not think I clarified myself clearly enough in the first post. The purpose of the topic as I intended is not to question the institution of marriage or advocate polygamous relationship. The intent is more to delve towards the understanding on why is human society nowadays constructed on monogamous relationships. Perhaps we may not like to admit it, but there are indeed many flaws and disadvantages in monogamous systems too. Everything has its pros and cos, and the point is to wonder if monogamy is really for the better. In what way has society and the individual genuinely benefited from monogamy? Its also to question that are these benefits real and tangible or do we perceive them as benefits because we are led to believe so?

To G-Unit and others who mentioned polygamy in ancient society.

Marriage in ancient times was a social institution, not a romantic relationship. People would marry to have heir, continue lineage and also expand family power and influence. Polygamy was more prevalent for a variety of reasons - male hierarchy in society, higher number of females due to men dying in war, many wives meant higher chances for children. It shifted to monogamous marriages simply because male-female ratio stabilized and there were more complexities of estates splitting between children of many wives and weakening it.

That was the marriage aspect in ancient times. Relationships were not exclusively limited to marriage. In many societies men would often be away for war or trade. It was not uncommon for men to hire prostitutes in their travels. Soldiers especially in Spartan and Persian armies (which by the way were the deadliest) would actually have very intimate relationships with each other. Women were not excluded or censured from relationships. Several noblewomen would have relationships with their slaves while husbands were away. In fact a lot of ancient laws have a lot of details on classification and rights of slave children both progeny of noblemen born to female slaves or sons of male slaves born to noblewomen. Greek philosophers often distinguish between physical love and intellectual love. Marriage was to produce children, create family ties and allies. People were encouraged to seek other relationships that fulfilled them completely.

So that being said ancient societies can be described as polyamorous. Just wanted to touch on that aspect of how despite marriage people in ancient times kept many relationships not just sexual, but intimate in other aspects as well.

More towards the topic

In general why is monogamous relationship as in just one and only one person for the rest of your life better or more acceptable than otherwise?

When someone engages in a long term, relationship why is that so?

When you speak of love, unconditional love and spending the rest of your life with someone you love - why is that, why do you believe that, why do you feel thats the best way, what benefit does it give you and society in general? What purpose does it really serve? Why do you believe in love?

Why do you marry? Is it because you want the security of that person committed to you formally? In all honesty - is it really about celebrating unconditional love or because you want a sense of security in life?

If love is unconditional - why is there a condition that you never can be with someone else. If someone in a marriage feels that they are lacking something and needs some interaction outside marriage - what is so wrong if they follow it. If you are not able to give someone something either emotionally, physically, romantically, intellectually what is so wrong if they get it from somewhere else once in a while? What is so wrong in hedonism if everyone had an equal opportunity at it - men and women.

More thoughts later.