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Feminine charm and flirting and sexual harassment (Page 6)

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Gauri_3

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Posted: 03 November 2009 at 9:09am | IP Logged
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Summer3

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Fair-n-luvly

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Fair-n-luvly

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Posted: 03 November 2009 at 11:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by _LalithaJanaki_

Originally posted by Summer3

Where do we draw a line between Flirting and sexual harrasment.
Is flirting a feminine way of getting things they want?
 
Flirting is when you let the other person know that you are interested in them. Sexual Harrassment is when you give the other person unwanted attention even when you know they are not interested in you.
 
Both men and women flirt though. 
I fully agree to you flirting is entirely different from sexual harrassment if a guy happen to flirt with a gal n the same gal enjoys his ched chad it isnt wrong BUT if a guy harrass a gal sexually without her permission n force her to be with him thts DISGUSTING n thts sure a crime.


Edited by mahikhan - 03 November 2009 at 11:15am

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Sohni_kuriSummer3

Summer3

IF-Stunnerz

Summer3

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Posted: 03 November 2009 at 6:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Gauri_3

Originally posted by Summer3

 
 flirting with ladies is safer than flirting with death.LOL
 
No Summer.  If flirting with women is unwanted and unsolicited then it could turn deadlier than flirting with deathLOL 
 
Key is to aprehend when and where one's advances are welcome and when not.  Some fail to take that cue even when given numerous times.  Additionally, there's healthy humorous leg pulling kind of flirting and then there's cheap, crass, desperately craving for some attention kind of flirting - the distinction between the two is always very clear.  Problem is when some folks don't try to see that distinction and delude themselves into thinking that others want that kind of attention from them - not only do they end up making a total a$$ outa themselves, they leave a really bad taste in others' mouths too.
Ah Gauri there is none who can nail a point like you.LOL
Yes making a donkey of oneself can be embarassing.
In some cases giving false hopes and blowing hot and cold may send a guy to the asylum too.


Edited by Summer3 - 03 November 2009 at 11:59pm

Vinzy

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Posted: 03 November 2009 at 10:38pm | IP Logged

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Summer3

return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 03 November 2009 at 11:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by psychobalehead

Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by psychobalehead

If a tall,hot,handsome,sexy guy is hitting on ya, its flirting.If an ugly,old,bald,fat guy is hitting on ya, its sexual harassment. Accept it or not, its just how most of us females GENERALLY operate. Also, yes, I hate to stereotype but you go to a bar and watch, the hot girl will flutter her eyelashes, push her body forward and the nearest man will buy her a drink. LOL
<br><br>Goes to show more about the stereotype of the dumb bimbo. Its not the hot chick's fault that she figured out that men have outsourced thinking to the opposite end. <br><br>But its not girls with the fluttery tricks up their sleeves. The guy thing to do is walk up to the bar, sit by the girls and ask the bartender for a shot in a sullen voice to mark the end of a relationship. All the girls go aww no one does a shot alone, and there go the rounds. <br>



Aha...now lets not judge the "dumb bimbo" too harshly. "Intelligent feminists" are quite capable of doing this themselves if they want to have their way. Ofcourse I never said or implied its her fault. I've always believed if you got it, you flaunt it, no questions asked. But from one perspective, it is using your womanly wiles and flirtation to get your way. Tongue


I don't think you completely got my drift there. See the red text. I do not believe there really is anything as the dumb bimbo. Except for a few rare cases where women are indeed ditzy giggly fools, women like people to believe they are dumb.

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Summer3

Summer3

IF-Stunnerz

Summer3

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Posted: 03 November 2009 at 11:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by psychobalehead

Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by psychobalehead

If a tall,hot,handsome,sexy guy is hitting on ya, its flirting.If an ugly,old,bald,fat guy is hitting on ya, its sexual harassment. Accept it or not, its just how most of us females GENERALLY operate. Also, yes, I hate to stereotype but you go to a bar and watch, the hot girl will flutter her eyelashes, push her body forward and the nearest man will buy her a drink. LOL
<br><br>Goes to show more about the stereotype of the dumb bimbo. Its not the hot chick's fault that she figured out that men have outsourced thinking to the opposite end. <br><br>But its not girls with the fluttery tricks up their sleeves. The guy thing to do is walk up to the bar, sit by the girls and ask the bartender for a shot in a sullen voice to mark the end of a relationship. All the girls go aww no one does a shot alone, and there go the rounds. <br>



Aha...now lets not judge the "dumb bimbo" too harshly. "Intelligent feminists" are quite capable of doing this themselves if they want to have their way. Ofcourse I never said or implied its her fault. I've always believed if you got it, you flaunt it, no questions asked. But from one perspective, it is using your womanly wiles and flirtation to get your way. Tongue


I don't think you completely got my drift there. See the red text. I do not believe there really is anything as the dumb bimbo. Except for a few rare cases where women are indeed ditzy giggly fools, women like people to believe they are dumb.
Sometimes where physical or emotional strength is needed women do play a role of being "helpless". But I do not always buy the story as they are pretty resourceful.
But personally I do think that God is closer to a lady then to a man. LOL

return_to_hades

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Posted: 04 November 2009 at 1:04am | IP Logged
A lot of women do tend to use their feminine traits to get things their way. There is more to it than meets the eye though. Not all do it intentionally. Many men end up catering to the whims of a woman, not because the woman is playing them - but because they themselves want to impress them.

Sometimes women use their charms to have their way because they may not be left with an alternative. Women in leadership roles, or male dominated work areas can be in situations where they are not taken seriously. They hence tend to resort to flirting to have their way. Then there are a lot of women who are led to believe that they need to flirt or dumb themselves down to be feminine or impress the opposite sex. This is in no way a justification for using flirting to get their way. Anything done for the wrong reasons is wrong. But its important to understand that there are some gaps in society that need to be fixed.

That being said all women by no means are pure hearted beings. Many are conniving, well aware of their charms and abilities and use it to control people like a puppet on strings. But women should not be generalized as flirts who use it to have their way. Just in the same light that men should not be generalized as being flirts to get into people's pants. Such generalizations can lead to hasty and unfair judgment of others.

Flirting on its own is a harmless social behavior. Its just a human way of telling each other that they are attractive, desirable or interesting. It has the ability to lighten the atmosphere and make people feel happy.

However, there is a strict line between flirting and sexual harassment. Anytime a flirtation is unwelcome and undesirable, when it starts people making uncomfortable it has crossed the line into harassment and sexual harassment if it is sexual or relentless in nature. Sexual harassment is no laughing business. It is something that can be really traumatic for people who experience it in the workplace or elsewhere. And no women are not the only victims, men are equally harassed by other men and women. I find it ironic when people make lofty claims that flirting is an art, which when used incorrectly can harm others and yet go on behaving in an undesirable manner which fits the definition of harassment.

Honestly, I do not know if flirting is an art or not. All I know that is in any form of social interaction respect and consideration for each other is vital. Perhaps in that there is an art to being a good human being. One should know where limitations lie. Not everyone is comfortable with flirting. Sometimes people may be flirtatious with some close friends and people they feel comfortable with, they may not be as receptive of such attention from others. Sometimes people draw the line at sexual innuendo, and when you cross that line you have ceased flirting and become a jerk.

Of course no one is born a mind reader to know exactly what the other person is comfortable with and where they draw the line. I've got several guy friends and I know that men and women can think differently and draw different conclusions. I hate it when girls can take one remark out of context and blow it out of proportion. Most people are aware of that and thats why they try to politely let down people, try to ignore or send the message that they do not like it, even spell it out clearly stop. So there is plenty of opportunity to rectify the errors and change ways. I know there are good sensible men and women out there who sometimes after the fact realize that they said something that could be inappropriate and apologize without being asked to. However, when people are told to stop it and still continue. I do not know if they are just plain stupid or completely full of themselves.

I don't think its right to draw up excuses for when you cross a line and invade someone's personal space by flirting. Some say the virtual world is different. Yes, it is different and a lot of us are more laid back and open virtually than in real life. We say or do things that we may not do in real life. But ultimately its not merely a user name on the other side, its a real human being who ought to be respected and treated right. Perhaps the most ludicrous argument I've heard is that flirting is a part and parcel of an argument. I guess it maybe for a couple or really close buddies. But I've really never seen a highschool team flirt their way into debate trophies.

But in the end what do I know. I'm just a socially awkward introverted geek. What the heck would I know about flirting and all its elaborate arts and nuances that the masters seem to know off. I could be completely oblivious to the finer truths about flirting. I'm just one of those dork types whose talking about mutual respect and consideration. I wont say I do not flirt at all. I guess sometimes its just a part of human nature. I still have good friends so I'm probably not that much of a social retard and people tend to respond favorably - so I'm going to assume that somewhere amidst the dorkiness I got something right.

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Summer3

Vinzy

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Vinzy

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Posts: 26607

Posted: 04 November 2009 at 2:22am | IP Logged

Actuly almost all women want and expect some bhoostup from men!! their expection always in high ,If we down them in an argument or any situation, then the Ego start works, when ego start works gossips methods starts...its all human nature.....Big smileBut those who wanna impress and and those who searching for a goal from anyone, they do all techniques in flirting to grab others mind, and they do all things in secret way! Here in DM-- we come to debate or Argue, I dont think here anyone can do flirt ,may be in few post, flirting not happen from one side, in flirting we need opposite reaction otherwise its we can say its an argument or comment only....SmileBut the fact is in this world nobody cant stop flirting...Big smile

In flirting we relate, as long as things are moving beautifully, you share. And if you see that the moment has come to depart, becos your paths separate at this crossroad, you say goodbye with great gratitude for all that the other has been to you, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments tht yu have shared and flirt with the other..... With no misery, with no pain, you simply separate. Nobody can guarantee that two persons will be happy together always, because people change. When you meet a woman she is one person, you are one person. SmileAfter ten years you will be another person, she will be another person. It is like a river.... the water is continuously flowing.  Smile
 
Two flowers can relate.... they are open, they can send their fragrances to each other, they can dance in the same sun and in the same wind, they can have a dialogue, they can whisper. But that is not possible for two seeds. Seeds are utterly closed, windowless....Smile
 
Sometime am exposing myself --  my ugliness, my emptiness -- safer, it seems, to keep a distance. Even lovers keep distance....they come only so far, and they remain alert to when to turn back. They have boundaries... they never cross the boundaries, they remain confined to their boundaries. Yes, there is a kind of relationship, but it is not that of relating, it is that of possession.SmileGive freedom to your mind..kuchh to log kahenge, logaane kaa kaam hain kahanaa...
chhodo, bekaar kee baato mein , kahee beet naa jaaye rainaa...Wink
 

 


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