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Problem with my friendship life

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safeplacetoland

IF-Stunnerz

safeplacetoland

Joined: 02 October 2007

Posts: 47682

Posted: 31 October 2009 at 9:01am | IP Logged
Hello Friends,
 
I'm Nidheya here and this is my first post in the advice corner. I'm going through a very rough phase in my life and wanted some advice on what I should do to feel better.
 
First of all, let me give you a little background or flashback on what are the past few important events in my life that may or may not have shaped my life into such a horrible state.
 
***All names in the description are changed, except for my own ofcourse***
 
I had joined this girls only school in Hyderabad, AP when I were in 7th grade. I had just moved to Hyderabad when I were in 6th. I despised my 6th grade co-ed school so I opted for this girls only school, because a girl from my apartment and a close cousin were in the school. On the first day of my school I didn't make any friends. I mean who does on their first day itself?
 
But I do remember a tiny little girl with two pony tails coming up to me and asking me whether I was from Kerala. Since I was, I answered yes. I also introduced myself. She was also from Kerala. Her name was Diana.
 
Diana and I didn't really interact much, much due to the fact that she was over popular and I preffered to lie low and hang out with a close bunch of friends.
 
Then I met this nice young girl called Heather. I saw that she had an envelope in her hand that had my dad's office name printed on it. I went upto her and asked her whether her dad worked in the same office and she said yes. Heather and I hit off really well because we were so alike! Both of us preffered lying low, we loved reading, we wore casual clothing, we loved HP, and we also loved talking! We also made a new friend Nancy.
 
Nancy was quite popular and well loved by both teachers and students. Nancy, Heather and I were known as "the trio". Heather and I got our taste of popularity, though it isn't something I was greatly fond of. Heather was always tad bit partial to Nancy and supported her most of the time. Though this hurt me, I kept quiet.
 
I was roped into a group project with Diana. I did all the work and while we were asked some Qs I sort of missed out on one and she yelled at me, BAD. I was quite upset...I'm a typical Leo female, can't stand such behavior from people.
 
Then came 8th grade. Heather started growing closer to me and both of us were sort of drifting away from Nancy. Nancy was super duper bossy and neither Heather, nor I enjoyed that. Nancy's approach to friends was quite frivolous, unlike mine. When I make a friend I expect them to be as faithful to me as I'm to them.
 
By this time Diana and another of her mean, evil friends had broken up. Diana sort of mellowed down after that. She became much much nicer. She used to talk to all of us and not behave so high-and-mighty like before. By the way, I forgot to mention, Heather used to hate Diana like anything. But after this incident, they became quite close.
 
In 8th, two new girls Hannah and Anne were shifted to our awesome class. I found the two quite arrogant so I never really tried to make conversation with them. By the last few months of 8th grade Nancy really drifted apart from Heather and me. At the same time Diana was going through a friendship break up. She became a much, much nicer person. She was always there to talk to and was very pleasant to be around.
 
Heather and I grew really close to Diana. Because Diana was around, our semi-breakup with Nancy didn't hurt so much. We weren't best friends or anything, but we were pretty close and that really meant something.
 
During the summer vacations I went on a school trip. Heather also was there. Even Anne was there. Heather showed her meanstreak during the trip when she avoided me and was kinda rude to me. This hurt me deeply, even more than it had when she had sometimes chosen Nancy over me. By this time Anne and I grew quite close. I saw the real Anne. The real Anne was a very good friend and someone you could talk to anytime, anywhere. She was simply amazing!
 
By the time the trip got over Anne and I promised each other that we would sit with each other in class and we did! Heather and Diana were in a different class. Even Hannah was in my class. Hannah, Anne and I sat together and we would have the time of our lives! Anne was the funniest person alive, after Diana. During the recess/break Heather and Diana would come to class and we would eat and talk together!
 
Everyday my mother would send extra food just for my four amazing friends! 9th grade was the best year in my life! I had it all, I was topping the class and I had four amazing best friends! For my 14th b'day I had brought special chocolates just for them! I took them out to Imax where we dined at McDonalds and had loads and loads of fun! I couldn't ask for a better birthday, nor could I ask for better best friends!
 
Heather had some problems with Diana's best friend so they had a spat. I was worried this would affect my friendship with Diana. We talked it out and all was good. But it was never the same between Diana and Heather. Ever. Again.
 
During the summer my family told me that we had to move to the USA. I spoke to my besties. These were their reactions:-
 
1. Heather:- Are you kidding me? I don't believe you! Is this is a late April Fools joke?
2. Diana:- WHAT? WHY? But....*hangs up the phone*
3. Hannah (I had already told her before):- Oh...I will miss you so much yaar. Listen my cousins are in USA. Here are some tips...
4. Anne:- What is this Nidheya? Why are you doing this? Why can't you stay here?? Baah! I will miss you re.
 
After my awesome, fantabulous 15th birthday party I left for the USA. On 15th of August to be presice. I cried and cried and cried. I missed my dearest best friends so freaking much. I was literally dying there! It was too painful. I can't tell you how much I hurt my parents with anger because of bringing me away from my best friends.
 
Throughout the year I came online every freaking weekend to chat with my friends. Only Hannah came. Heather came occassionally. Anne didn't have an e-mail account. Diana never came. But they all (except for Anne) e-mailed and we talked quite a lot on the phone, though it was me who did all the calling, with occasional calls from Hannah, though I was in school the time she did.
 
Next year we were asked to go back to India. I called up my friends to tell them:-
1. Heather:- Wow! That's so nice! I'm veryyyyy happy.
2. Diana:- YAYYYYY!! THAT IS SO GREAT!!!
3. Anne:- Hey that is so cool! I will call you up on your birthday dude! I'm so excited!
4. Hannah:- Hey Nidheya! Wow! The news is soooo great! I can't wait to see you!
 
Heather, Anne, and Hannah wished me on my sweet 16. Heck, Anne even called me. Hannah called a few days later. Diana conviniently forgot.
 
***Flashback ends here. From now, current pain and story.***
 
I finally arrived in Hyderabad. I had set a date to meet "the four" or "my four" as I fondly refer to them. I visited Hannah and Anne before the date and Heather visited on the date. Diana didn't.
 
Constantly I called her up and set up dates to meet her. But, no. She had "no time". I knew she was freaking busy. I mean what else do you expect when you join an IIT coaching school? By the way even Heather went there. She still had time to call up.
 
It was time for Diana's b'day. I decided to give her a surprise or something. But that day the world around me changed. I learned that my maternal grandmother was in the ICCU equipped with a ventilator. I didn't know what to say. The next day early morning we prepared for Kerala.
 
That morning, before I caught my flight I called up Diana. It was her 16th and I wanted to wish her. My maternal granny was dying in the ventilator and I still called her up. My granny passed away that afternoon. It was veryyyy sad. I hadn't even seen her for over a year.
 
Now that I am back in Hyderabad. Hannah has a new friend Katie. Hannah is always behind Katie. I had asked her like a zillion times to come to my classroom. She told me she wont because she dislikes my classmates. But when Katie asked her she came. This hurt me too much.
 
Again today was our sports day. Diana had promised to come, but again she ditched. She backed out. She didn't come. OMG, this hurt me so much. I cried so much at night. I don't know what to do with these girls.
 
Anne is always by my side. I'm sure Heather is too, she goes to a different school (An IIT coaching college). Hannah is a great person to talk to. I love talking to her. I always call her my twin. Diana...what do I say about Diana? This girl has hurt my quite much. Not that she was mean or something. She just doesn't respond. Her life revolves around her IIT college and nothing else. She doesn't even contact her other best friend. Wowww...
 
I'm just so hurt right now. I can't even tell you. Every night is me crying wondering when will these girls show me back some love and affection.
 
I'm quite devastated. I know they all care, but they should show it. Especially Diana. I mean I haven't seen her for more than a year and I really, really am dying to see her!
 
What do you think I should do? Give me some tips and advices!
 
Who among Heather, Hannah, Anne, and Diana do you think makes the best friend and truly cares for me?
 
Love,
Nidheya
 
 

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safeplacetoland

IF-Stunnerz

safeplacetoland

Joined: 02 October 2007

Posts: 47682

Posted: 31 October 2009 at 11:53pm | IP Logged
no one can give me an advice???? WOOW

aish_punk

IF-Sizzlerz

aish_punk

Joined: 11 January 2008

Posts: 20622

Posted: 01 November 2009 at 7:05am | IP Logged

hey nidheya..

 

i think that Anne is the only who really cares for u..and maybe even Heather..

 

but then i dont blame Hannah..when u had gone..things had def changed..she had to make new frndz n now she has got close 2 em..so its not her fault..

 

n Diana well she may be busy but i guess she's purposely not trying to meet up..i think jus 4get abt her if she wants u too..

 

Heather is really busy bt i thnk she's a nyc frnd..n well try n talk to her often..

 

but dont be disheartened..u can always make new frndz but don 4get old ones..

 

-aish

safeplacetoland

IF-Stunnerz

safeplacetoland

Joined: 02 October 2007

Posts: 47682

Posted: 01 November 2009 at 8:33am | IP Logged
Originally posted by aish_punk

hey nidheya..

 

i think that Anne is the only who really cares for u..and maybe even Heather..

 

but then i dont blame Hannah..when u had gone..things had def changed..she had to make new frndz n now she has got close 2 em..so its not her fault..

 

n Diana well she may be busy but i guess she's purposely not trying to meet up..i think jus 4get abt her if she wants u too..

 

Heather is really busy bt i thnk she's a nyc frnd..n well try n talk to her often..

 

but dont be disheartened..u can always make new frndz but don 4get old ones..

 

-aish

 
Hey Aish!! Actually Diana has her problems...I know it...like she is going to a 7:am to 7:pm IIT coaching school...I know why she didn't come on saturday too...but sometimes I wonder why can't she take out 1 hr of her super hectic schedule to meet up...
 
I REALLY want to talk it all out with Diana and Hannah, explain stuff out to them, tell them how I'm feeling. But I don't want to end up being a wimp...Diana is really good when you need advice...like when I wanted to move from the Economics group to the Science group in 9th, I took the opinions from all of them. Hannah and Anne wanted me to stay with them. Heather was confused. Diana was the only one who took 28 mins of her time and REALLY spoke to me and stuff...I actually felt like I had actually spoken to someone!
 
My mom sometimes tells me to forget Diana at times because of her aloof behavior but I know I can't...I mean it is the first time I have had friends I have loved so much! I can't explain!
 
When I'm with my four I feel like on cloud nine! I know Diana isn't avoiding me or anything...I mean it was her who reacted the most when I told her I was coming and she had begged me through the phone to come back to India for 11th and 12th...
 
I love them sooooooooo much....I can't explain! I will do ANYTHING for them....anything...even give up my life for them...
 
Nidheya

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

aish_punk

aish_punk

IF-Sizzlerz

aish_punk

Joined: 11 January 2008

Posts: 20622

Posted: 04 November 2009 at 1:52am | IP Logged
thats really sweet nidhz...
 
Diana is busy but i'm sure she can take out SOME time atleast!..n ure pretty close to her so u'll def miss her a lot..
 
n well u can always take to Hannah..she's made new frndz but that does'nt mean she hates u now..!..n u wont be a wimp if u tell her wt u feel!
 
 

safeplacetoland

IF-Stunnerz

safeplacetoland

Joined: 02 October 2007

Posts: 47682

Posted: 04 November 2009 at 7:57am | IP Logged
She goes to her school on Sunday's too...guess I will be meeting her on 14th November...I really hope so

Angel-Jot.

Moderator

Angel-Jot.

I-F Crazy Creatives Head, BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 24 March 2008

Posts: 21059

Posted: 04 November 2009 at 5:09pm | IP Logged
At the moment i can say that Hannah and Anne will be faithful to you and will remain. You are in hyderbad, i live in Canada and used to go to a girl's school and WOAH. The friendship problems you have in a girl's school are crazy! I have the same problems so i would advise you to somehow talk to all of them individually and tell them how you feel. Tell them to express their feelings on how they feel everything is going and then everything will be fine...hopefully. I am still struggling but i hope your friendship probs will be done and over with. Good Luck Yaar! ~Jot~

aish_punk

IF-Sizzlerz

aish_punk

Joined: 11 January 2008

Posts: 20622

Posted: 05 November 2009 at 2:04am | IP Logged
nidhz..yeah i hope u meet her..!..n that time u can talk as old friends..but school on Sunday also?!..now i feel really bad 4 her :P

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