Putting law above love (Page 2)

Two persons living together in love should make it a point that their relationship is continuously growing, bringing more flowers every season, creating more joys. Just sitting together silently is enough....I think some intelligent world, people will love, but will not make any contracts. It is not a business! They will understand each other, and they will understand the changing flux of life. They will be true to each other. The moment the man feels that now his beloved holds no joy for him, he will say that the time has come to part. There is no need for marriage, there is no need for divorce. Then friendship will be possible. You ask me why friendship is not possible between men and women.... Friendship is not possible between the jailer and the imprisoned.but what to do we still planing go same route and buss....even me too..

I feel bad that the court and the law and the state interfere in your private life -- you have to ask their permission. Who are they? It is a question between two individuals, their private affairman has created societies, cultures, civilizations, rules, regulations, and made the whole humanity unnatural.

The law is not forcing anyone to marry. People who feel their relationship is strong without a legal marriage are free to do so.

Signing a legal document for marriage is a way to secure your loved ones in case of life's uncertainties. A legal document gives the spouse and children rights to property and wealth in case of death. It allows spouses hospital visits and say in medical situations. There have been situations where family members have prohibited their child's live in relationship or partner from visiting them in hospitals or making medical decisions - and they have a legal right to do so. With a legal marriage family members have no right to bar a spouse from visiting. With a marriage you also ensure that someone you trust has parental rights of your biological/foster or adopted children. In case of an emergency extended family or social services cannot take the child away from the spouse. There are this and many other consumer, government, income and employment benefits of a legal marriage.

A legal marriage by no means replaces genuine love and trust in marriage. In fact without that genuine love and trust there is no marriage, just a legal contract.

If people feel that only love is enough and they do not need to secure any legal rights or benefits available, then they are free to not sign the legal document. If love alone could give relationships the security and protection they deserve in society, people would not give a rats ass for the right to marry.

I do not see why the need for some sort of structure in the legal aspect has to replace love or be above it. Its just something that adds to the love that exists. Marriage is meaningless without love.

Edited by Believe - 01 November 2009 at 4:05am

Based on your logic anarchy is the solution to everything. Every human has a moral core. Why create laws about murder, rape, theft etc. Do not force humans into action, let them be free to act off their own moral accord.

Its ironic, usually I am one against the conventional concept of marriage because I do believe in modern times it has been reduced to nothing but a lousy legal contract and has nothing to do with love. However, ideally marriage ought to be about love and commitment between two people. I do not think a legal document or a ceremony can make a marriage until that love and commitment exists. For me when two people decide that they want to spend the rest of their life with each other, and make that commitment to each other thats a marriage. Whether they want to celebrate it in a ritual with friends and loved ones, secure it legally or just live together in the way they choose appropriate - it is absolutely their choice.

If we take marriage in its honest sense that I take it to be, the law can never be above love. A lifelong commitment will always be a marriage irrespective of whether its legally or ceremoniously bound. And if people do not care for love or commitment and simply sign a legal document - its a contract not a marriage.

Nothing is permanent or predictable in this world. Nothing comes with a stamp of guarantee. Not marriage, not love. No astrologer or any science or any human can predict the course of marriage, love or any human relationship as a matter of fact. People have to put an effort into their relationships and make them work.

Now every person has their own personal preferences and tastes in relationships. If you prefer open relationships or casual relationships, thats one's choice and you can find someone who is ok with that. 

Of course genuine love cannot be a bound obligation, it involves, freedom, trust and respect towards each other. But there is huge difference between possessive, protective behavior and overbearing obsessive behavior. Why would someone be with you if you do not care if they are with you or not? A reasonable respectable amount of possessiveness reassures the person that you need them in their lives, that you care for them and want to be with them, it expresses a bit of vulnerability to losing them. Similarly a reasonable respectable amount of protectiveness shows that you care to protect them from harm and take the risks to do so. Nothing wrong with that unless you get too intrusive, restrictive and obsessive.

I believe friendship is so valuable that whatsoever the consequence, remain friends even with your wife, even with your husband, and allow absolute and total freedom to each other.....Nobody will fall in love.... everybody will decide consciously that "This is the one." He/she has known so many people, he understands that this is the one who has those characteristics, those qualities that he has loved. And thn too it is only going to be a friendship. There is no fear.... if tomorrow things change there is no harm....some situation people are becoming imprisoned, chained..... they lose all their joy, life becoms a drag,cos she/he is depend on you....dependcy make a fear not love, if you free them,they can feel better... If we theres friendship and freedom,we can find the joy.....and its better than live like intimate enemies..