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Joined: 27 September 2006
I really don't think anyone — at least not any woman — intends to end up in a long-distance relationship, but sometimes it just happens. You fall in love with him in town, then he moves out of town. Or you meet him at a military installation, and suddenly one of you gets shipped out. Or maybe you hooked up with a scrumptious man while vacationing, but who can afford to fly to Jamaica every weekend?It is an understandably difficult commitment to honor if you and your sweetheart decide to keep the relationship going while you are apart. Difficult but not impossible.
I must admit that I have had a few such relationships and not all of them turned out well. But through those experiences I have found that there are keys to keeping the romance alive, if both parties are willing and determined to make it work. Keep in mind that the length of time you had to get to know the person before you were separated will have a lot to do with how successful your long-distance romance will be.
One of the first things you should do with your long-distance sweetheart is to agree on what the relationship will be going forward: Are you going to be just friends? Intimately connected when it's convenient? Or does this have the makings of a real and solid love affair? Determining limits is of the utmost importance, because as things get difficult, it will help ground the two of you if you know the boundaries of your relationship. It will also help avoid heartache later because you will both know where you stand. This is very important, and I don't just mean disclosing the superficial things (like where he was when you called and he didn't answer). You must be willing to discuss more sensitive issues, too, like your sex life. If this relationship is to really hold its ground, talking openly and honestly about your sexual needs is one of the biggest keys to success. Generally speaking, communicating openly with your partner about your sex life will allow you to find out if the other person is truly committed to you physically as well as personally. It is not an easy subject to broach, but it can be very revealing in terms of how much the two of you are willing to disclose for the sake of your love. (The only exception I would make to this regards the military: When you or your love is overseas, or fighting in a war, this kind of honesty may be way too much to handle and would be best left to discuss at a more opportune time. Encouragement would be the order of the day until you or he returns home.)
This advice is good, you will be on the road to making your long-distance relationship last. Even better, it may end someday with the two of you finally in the same place, having learned so much more about each other simply because you had to put in a bit more effort.
Joined: 02 January 2009
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