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Can Long Distance Relationships Last? (Page 5)

Meena1 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 27 December 2005
Posts: 27397

Posted: 22 October 2009 at 7:25pm | IP Logged

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Summer3 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 24 September 2007
Posts: 44415

Posted: 22 October 2009 at 7:40pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Meena1

Originally posted by Summer3

Originally posted by qwertyesque

out of sight - out of mind... true....
Yes in economic terms a person may settle for a substituteLOL
But then ideally and hopefully True Love exists; at least for the romantics or the movie goers.

True such thing..ROFL
.. thats what every guy says to all girls they meet.. you are my one true lovee..LOL
Love at first sight or love at first bite for the vampires.LOL
yes before marriage both parties put on their best behaviour and meet under ideal circumstances.
Trust makes it easier to work things out to a large extent.
It is said that if love is physical then love lasts as long as the body looks good.LOL
\But most people are much more than that and some look at the mental and spiritual sides too.
If all three of these match then we get a JACKPOT. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Eventide Senior Member

Joined: 04 July 2009
Posts: 878

Posted: 23 October 2009 at 6:12am | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

I think when people marry someone in the military they have an understanding of how difficult it is. A lot is done to make people aware of a military lifestyle. However, modern day couples are ill prepared for job and education demands.

Many couples end up breaking up or divorcing when the pressure of coping with distance gets to them. Although, divorce is not as common or an acceptable alternative in desi culture - families tend to suffer due to loneliness. Not all people have the emotional strength to cope with the challenges.

Its reassuring to beleive that love can overcome all obstacles. However personally, I do not think I could handle not having the person I love being there with me. Call me selfish, but I need love to be tangible. I think I can handle some time and distance, but probably not much. Smile
The defence forces have a good support system. What further helps is the fact that there are other women/families are in the same boat.

Edited by Eventide - 23 October 2009 at 6:12am
isomers IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 15 January 2008
Posts: 15544

Posted: 25 October 2009 at 8:14am | IP Logged
When there is trust established in the relationship, I don't see why it can't last through obstacles.
In my family, my father lived away from us for 2 years, my parents' relationship still lasted didn't it.
If the two people really do love each other and are willing to make it work, there has to be no problem with it.
Love isn't's a feeling that's deep within a person, so why should the person you love be tangible for the realtionship to last?
Roadrunnerz Goldie

Joined: 09 August 2008
Posts: 1723

Posted: 25 October 2009 at 8:49am | IP Logged
a few years distance is OK but what if both spouses working in diffr cities due to their career? How long can the relatn sustain? Confused
Summer3 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 24 September 2007
Posts: 44415

Posted: 25 October 2009 at 9:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by crazy_sunny

a few years distance is OK but what if both spouses working in diffr cities due to their career? How long can the relatn sustain? Confused
Hmm if both do not like each other so much, it would be a good idea to live as far as possible.LOL
WillSmith456 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 27 September 2006
Posts: 6442

Posted: 25 October 2009 at 11:14am | IP Logged
hmmmm ...Smile i can say between juggling schedules to challenges in communication, anyone who's ever been in a long-distance relationship can certainly tell you how hard it can be to make a long distance relationship work. any kind of advice either from me or anybody about long-distance relationships to help you have a great love lifeSmile.

I really don't think anyone — at least not any woman — intends to end up in a long-distance relationship, but sometimes it just happens. You fall in love with him in town, then he moves out of town. Or you meet him at a military installation, and suddenly one of you gets shipped out. Or maybe you hooked up with a scrumptious man while vacationing, but who can afford to fly to Jamaica every weekend?EmbarrassedIt is an understandably difficult commitment to honor if you and your sweetheart decide to keep the relationship going while you are apart. Difficult but not impossible.Tongue

I must admit that I have had a few such relationships and not all of them turned out well. But through those experiences I have found that there are keys to keeping the romance alive, if both parties are willing and determined to make it work. Keep in mind that the length of time you had to get to know the person before you were separated will have a lot to do with how successful your long-distance romance will be.
One of the first things you should do with your long-distance sweetheart is to agree on what the relationship will be going forward: Are you going to be just friends? Intimately connected when it's convenient? Or does this have the makings of a real and solid love affair? Determining limits is of the utmost importance, because as things get difficult, it will help ground the two of you if you know the boundaries of your relationship. It will also help avoid heartache later because you will both know where you stand. This is very important, and I don't just mean disclosing the superficial things (like where he was when you called and he didn't answer). You must be willing to discuss more sensitive issues, too, like your sex life. If this relationship is to really hold its ground, talking openly and honestly about your sexual needs is one of the biggest keys to success. Generally speaking, communicating openly with your partner about your sex life will allow you to find out if the other person is truly committed to you physically as well as personally. It is not an easy subject to broach, but it can be very revealing in terms of how much the two of you are willing to disclose for the sake of your love. (The only exception I would make to this regards the military: When you or your love is overseas, or fighting in a war, this kind of honesty may be way too much to handle and would be best left to discuss at a more opportune time. Encouragement would be the order of the day until you or he returns home.) Tongue

Boy, is this one tough! I personally am not a patient woman,Wink and one of the pitfalls for me in long-distance relationships has been the waiting. I recommend that you find things to do here at home to occupy your time. If your career or your children do not keep you busy enough, get involved in some volunteer work or maybe go back to school. The key is to avoid weighing down your long-distance conversations with whining or unrealistic demands, solely because you are bored or missing the other person. Embarrassed

This one is so important. I am currently in a wonderful long-distance relationship, and this aspect of it has made it so much more special. I make it a habit to always ask how things are going — with school, work or family — and then proceed to encourage him in those areas where he is especially talented. For instance, he spent some time playing basketball and talking to his son the other day and I was so proud of him because, as a single parent, he is determined to keep the lines of communication open with his teenager. I let him know that and he appreciates it. He also helps me. I am currently trying to prepare for an algebra exam — I am horrible at math — and he is very good at it, so it makes him feel good to be able to assist me. We just do the problems over the phone. Encouragement, assistance and praise work well over email, too. It's also a good idea to "smile over the phone" as much as possible. A good mood from you on days when your partner may be feeling especially needy can make both of you feel better. Wink

This advice is goodEmbarrassed, you will be on the road to making your long-distance relationship last. Even better, it may end someday with the two of you finally in the same place, having learned so much more about each other simply because you had to put in a bit more effort.Tongue

Big smile C89Big smile

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MrMonster Senior Member

Joined: 02 January 2009
Posts: 374

Posted: 25 October 2009 at 11:36am | IP Logged
i think it all comes down to this, the personality.. see for me when it comes to a long distance relationships there are two types of people:
1-the one who yearn: as they say: "separation grows the heart fonder" i think this goes to the people who believe, who cannot thing anything except of the person who they have frames, as the hours past by watching the sunset alone wishing that he/she was here, then at night laying restlesly on the green blanket, staring into nothing but the vast dark sky, which seems dark due to love LOL, i guess these are the ones who will knock her/his lover on the ground when they see them
2-the one who forget: as they say : "out of sight out of mind" this is something most likely to happen, i guess since it happens to me, it probably happens to people who have other distractions, who have something to distract them, that's why whenever there's a break-up, the lovers spend time with family, friends, or even school books, which they never opened,

so i guess, as far as there are distractions long distance relationships don't last..

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