Originally posted by _LalithaJanaki_
Originally posted by karandel_2008
I dont agree somewhat to some lines below and here are some answers:
Originally posted by _LalithaJanaki_
Parents have always known what is best for their kid, and they always will.
It is impossible for anyone to know "best" about some "other" person. After some age, only we know best about ourselves (but it is not applicable to those who have no idea about what they want in their life) and parents can always guide us, with their own experience, but, like I say, they should never dictate.
I will give you an example( a common scenario in some Indian families ) :
A kid wants to join coaching for IIT/IIM/(put any competitive exam) entrance exam. His father is opposed to the idea because during his time people didnt need coaching and thinks coaching and all is just a scam. He doesnt realize that times have changed and right coaching can always help.
The kid somehow joins coaching without the knowledge of this father and succeeds in his exams.
now what do you say? boy was wrong and he should have not done that?
Yeah, the boy was wrong, because he did not understand his father's intent. Sure, he passed the exam, but at what cost? Disobeying his father. Maybe his father could not afford the coaching? There could be a million reasons for his father saying that, and it was the son's duty to try to understand his father.
Parents, even if they do not know 'the best', know a lot more than the kids, and that is something youngsters these days should understand. Youngsters today are egoistical, they think they know everything, when in reality, they know nothing compared to the wisdom their parents have. It's really their Karma that they harbor the desire to go against their parents to chase after their "own happiness". How can one feel happy when they know they are causing unhappiness to their parents in marrying someone their parents do not want them to...I can never understand, nor respect them.
I agree with Karandel on the fact that 'Parents may want whats best for children, but may not always know whats best'. The fact is that no amount of wisdom or life experience can withstand the test of time. The world is constantly changing, every person, every situation is unique. A solution that worked for parent's ages ago may not work for children today. Even parent's with the best intent can ruin children's lives. They may force children into education, career and life choices that children regret, resent or end up being miserable with. There are too many parents who realize late in life on how they held back their children and spend their last few years in guilt. The worst burden for a human being to bear is knowledge that they held back someone they loved and caused their misery.
The greater good is not always black and white. There are no perfect golden rules that apply all the time. Sometimes for the greater good parents have to betray children, and sometimes children have to betray parents - life's like that. Every person ought to be their own individual so that they can be accountable for every one of their life choices. That way no one is to blame.
Besides I thought when it comes to karma, one is instructed to only act in the manner they deem best. It is futile for man to expect fruition or determine what is good and bad. Only the higher forces that be can decide on that. Humans are expected to only act based on guidelines that there maybe. The key is that person have right conduct and intent in their heart. There is no play by play game book - only guidelines. If you live by the principle that 'x is a universal truth' and 'x is good karma' that is why 'people ought to do x'. Then the principle of karma is moot - because you are not being good because your intent is good, you are being good because you believe there is a rule x of being good and you are expecting that following rule x will bear good. You see you have completely contradicted the principles of acting with good intent and leaving consequences to the forces that be.
In my opinion a person who uses their entire human thought process to act in a manner which they deem to be for the greater good is a better person than one who blindly follows a principle because they are convinced that it will result in good fruition.