Joined: 27 February 2009
Joined: 20 August 2008
Joined: 18 January 2006
Marriage is always a compromise. Two people will always have different backgrounds that they cherish and want to instill in their children. They will always have to mutually discuss on how they want to raise their children. When we add different religions, races, nationalities we make the backgrounds diverse and wider. Heck I have seen conflicts are when every bit of cultural and religious background is the same but they have differing political opinions or different class levels. Ultimately, it completely depends on the two individuals and their families on how many stark differences they feel they can compromise with.
I think when two people choose to marry despite being of different race, religion, nationality – they know they are entering into a compromise. One or both in the couple have already set their mind to forgo aspects of their background in order to make the relationship work. From my personal observations multiracial or multireligious children, do not face as much problems due to parents – but more due to other people in the family or society in general that tries to pull them in different directions.
For example biracial children express consistency in cultural messages instilled by their parents, but might be rejected by peers because they are not white enough, black enough, Asian enough etc. Children raised in bireligious households are able to reconcile faith differences – but families or society makes them feel that their reconciliation is out of place. Parents raising kids may not care about cultural aspects, but in-laws tend to compete on which aspects to focus on. Of course there is a risk of falling out and divorce due to irreconcilable differences. However, that is a choice two people and their families have to make.
Culture is not static. Throughout history culture has changed and evolved, it will continue to do so. As the information age makes the world smaller, cultures are already influencing each other and intermingling. It's the way the world was designed – to keep evolving. My family in general is Hindu Konkani Brahmin, but I have uncles and cousins who are Chinese, German, American and family/extended family includes Gujarati, Punjabi, Sikh, Muslim, Catholic – the whole shebang. Of course there are confusions and conflicts and growing pains – but every one of us is well adjusted. We all have strong personal identities. White looking people, Chinese looking people, Indian looking people – all one happy family. We consider that our family is a culture on its own.
Its actually the best thing when cultures come together. It's like when we make potstickers when friends get together. They are Asian. We'll make a batch of Kosher ones for the Jew, who gets to be an honorary Asian just because Israel happens to be in Asia. If I am feeling religulous, there will be a batch of beef free ones. And then of course the normal ones for the real Asian.
I think one can be against interracial/interreligious/intercaste marriages personally and avoid them. I think people can also expect to influence their immediate family to follow suit. People have the right to try and preserve their own culture. However, in general I do not think anyone has the right to oppose such marriages in society. It's a personal choice between two people. Conflicts for children is just a poor excuse to be prejudicial and prevent other people trying to overcome their difference. If we really cared about children's future how about requiring parents to have a certain IQ level or preventing skanks, addicts etc from having kids. Its not like Octuplet mom or the Gosselin's are model parents. On the other hand Obama, Jennifer Beals, Tiger Woods etc turned out perfectly fine. So are Shahrukhs kids and other mutts out there.
Funny thing is how so many people encourage marriage within the same race, nationality, religion, caste, class etc but not same gender.
Joined: 03 December 2006
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Joined: 29 June 2008
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