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Posted: 16 October 2009 at 8:10am | IP Logged

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Posted: 16 October 2009 at 11:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by Summer3

These day inter-racial marriages are pretty common but still many parents prefer otherwise so that there are less complications. But most important is that culture should be preserved no matter how they marry.

I think the biggest challenge in interracial marriage is the preserving of culture. Whose culture do we preserve? How do we balance our different cultures? I think the biggest apprehension to interracial marriage is not racism but the fear of losing culture. When you marry someone of a different race - the other person also has a culture they are proud of and want to preserve. It becomes a challenge to draw compromises. Even within the same race cultural or national differences are a challenge. French and Italian cultures, British and American cultures, South Indian and North Indian cultures are radically different.
Yeah, that's the main problem people have with interracial marriages. For the most part, both of the partners are proud of their culture/religion, and will want their children to also follow that culture, right? Imagine how difficult it must be on the poor kid if both his parents pressure him/her to follow their own culture. The child will feel alienated from his parents, because he will feel like he can't connect with them because of the different ideals each parent might have. Also, most divorces happen from interracial marriages, because many of the partners will realize after their marriage that they cannot live with the others' different cultural ideals. And if they have children, the children will also be affected by the divorce.
That's why I too do not support interracial marriages. Don't get me wrong. I will never condemn people who marry someone from another culture or religion, and neither will I badmouth them to others, because what they do with their life is their business and if they feel they can make their marriage live in the long run, then great for them, but I will not support them. My opinion is that it is everyone's duty to preserve their culture, and for the most part, it ain't gonna happen if you marry someone from another race or religion.
But I have no problem with being friends with people from another race or religion, because that way, you will get to know a lot about their culture and be able to respect them for it. But when it comes to marriage, I will only marry someone from my own culture, religion, language, and caste (Brahmin). Sorry, just my opinion/decision. My intent is not to offend someoen. My parents have always encouraged my friendships with other races and religions, because they know I'd never betray them by marrying someone from another race, so I also support friendships as long as they do not change into marriage.
Also, who ever said that just because someone doesn't support interracial marriage, they do not support equality?Confused Equality is looking at everyone as equals, and I do look at people from all cultures and races as my equals. Just because I prefer people from a culture to marry into their own culture does not mean I am looking down on other cultures or races. It is better for everyone in the long run if they simply marry into their own culture, but maintain strong friendships with different cultural or racial people.

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Posted: 16 October 2009 at 2:11pm | IP Logged

Marriage is always a compromise. Two people will always have different backgrounds that they cherish and want to instill in their children. They will always have to mutually discuss on how they want to raise their children. When we add different religions, races, nationalities we make the backgrounds diverse and wider. Heck I have seen conflicts are when every bit of cultural and religious background is the same but they have differing political opinions or different class levels. Ultimately, it completely depends on the two individuals and their families on how many stark differences they feel they can compromise with.


I think when two people choose to marry despite being of different race, religion, nationality they know they are entering into a compromise. One or both in the couple have already set their mind to forgo aspects of their background in order to make the relationship work. From my personal observations multiracial or multireligious children, do not face as much problems due to parents but more due to other people in the family or society in general that tries to pull them in different directions.


For example biracial children express consistency in cultural messages instilled by their parents, but might be rejected by peers because they are not white enough, black enough, Asian enough etc.  Children raised in bireligious households are able to reconcile faith differences but families or society makes them feel that their reconciliation is out of place. Parents raising kids may not care about cultural aspects, but in-laws tend to compete on which aspects to focus on.  Of course there is a risk of falling out and divorce due to irreconcilable differences. However, that is a choice two people and their families have to make.


Culture is not static. Throughout history culture has changed and evolved, it will continue to do so. As the information age makes the world smaller, cultures are already influencing each other and intermingling. It's the way the world was designed to keep evolving. My family in general is Hindu Konkani Brahmin, but I have uncles and cousins who are Chinese, German, American and family/extended family includes Gujarati, Punjabi, Sikh, Muslim, Catholic the whole shebang. Of course there are confusions and conflicts and growing pains but every one of us is well adjusted. We all have strong personal identities. White looking people, Chinese looking people, Indian looking people all one happy family. We consider that our family is a culture on its own.


Its actually the best thing when cultures come together. It's like when we make potstickers when friends get together. They are Asian. We'll make a batch of Kosher ones for the Jew, who gets to be an honorary Asian just because Israel happens to be in Asia. If I am feeling religulous, there will be a batch of beef free ones. And then of course the normal ones for the real Asian.


I think one can be against interracial/interreligious/intercaste marriages personally and avoid them. I think people can also expect to influence their immediate family to follow suit. People have the right to try and preserve their own culture. However, in general I do not think anyone has the right to oppose such marriages in society. It's a personal choice between two people. Conflicts for children is just a poor excuse to be prejudicial and prevent other people trying to overcome their difference. If we really cared about children's future how about requiring parents to have a certain IQ level or preventing skanks, addicts etc from having kids. Its not like Octuplet mom or the Gosselin's are model parents. On the other hand Obama, Jennifer Beals, Tiger Woods etc turned out perfectly fine. So are Shahrukhs kids and other mutts out there.


Funny thing is how so many people encourage marriage within the same race, nationality, religion, caste, class etc but not same gender. LOL

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Joined: 03 December 2006

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Posted: 16 October 2009 at 7:42pm | IP Logged
how i wonder if i marrying a blonde would she able to make alu key parathe.rajma, puri... is that possible!!!

nah I am not sure inter-racial makes sense.....LOL

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Posted: 16 October 2009 at 11:41pm | IP Logged

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Joined: 03 December 2005

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Posted: 17 October 2009 at 12:55am | IP Logged
Originally posted by qwertyesque

how i wonder if i marrying a blonde would she able to make alu key parathe.rajma, puri... is that possible!!!  --  Free home delivery is posible...Wink

nah I am not sure inter-racial makes sense.....LOL---Sense!!!!!!!LOLaree bhai sense hey tho bi kabi kabi ye karna padatha hey!!!!Wink




Joined: 29 June 2008

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Posted: 17 October 2009 at 1:36am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Meena1

Funny.. We were just discussing the Louisiana case in my class yesterday..LOLLOL..the justice needs to be removed.. Ermm

Inter-racial marriage is still a taboo in my famiily.. i dont think my mom would ever be able to accept me if I ever marry a black guy.. LOLLOLLOL
LOL no mum would ever agree to let her daughter marry a black guy no matter what...i can bear a person with ok looks BUT black no wayEmbarrassedOuch

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Joined: 11 August 2009

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Posted: 17 October 2009 at 5:27am | IP Logged
I guess RTH said it all ... the thing is not only about difference in race but a lot more things. Even if you are from the same cultural background, religion, level and what not there is still difference in thinking and you ultimately try to adjust that. Isn't that a interthought marriage then LOL Differences are everywhere we are all unique in some way BUT we are unique like everyone!  This said it all matter how different we are, it's just the same. It's our mind our perception that play tricks when we see such marriages. Indeed i find it wonderful and really special to have a family of mixed cultural background and people from different origin, you feel as if you are living in the world as a whole rather than just a part of it.

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