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Boundless Circle l Short story (Page 3)

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*Nishi*

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*Nishi*

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Posted: 30 September 2009 at 4:06pm | IP Logged

man... u write so good LOL i love how you can do that... just pick a topic and you could write a whole story with that alone. its really cool that you chose this topic too.. it was very well written and everything.. i feel bad for the girl when she was a kid Ouch i never realized how much that could affect someone.. thanks for sharing your story with us EmbarrassedBig smile

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Posted: 01 October 2009 at 2:54pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by smriti.tweety


* reserved *

Will be back after I have given it some thought. A prompt comment wouldn't do justice to the theme :)


And I am back after having thought this one over :D

 

Hey girl!

Firstly a big pat on the back for posting something on a subject as mature and tough as alcoholism! Star

Thanks Smriti Smile
 
Knowing it was you who had done it I was sure it wouldn't edge on being dramatic; something easily possible with the subject and the history of how our films tend to portray it.
 
Our films negatively glamorize alcoholism. Period. They make the alcoholic look like some kind of a dangerous monster. Ouch

Its quite a serious issue in itself and I loved the sensitivity you have shown towards it.  Thanks a ton! :)

I think the strength of it lay in it being simple and subtle. The interplay between the narrator's past and experience of the other member was something unique; haven't read anything like that and no, you didn't confuse me. The nave hopes of the teenager have been aptly and beautifully articulated. The eventual realization of the hard-hitting reality serving only as an impetus to change the direction of hope, hope remains nevertheless! That I feel is the reality of growing up, hopes tend to find a rationale.

I'm glad you weren't confused, it was one thing I was apprehensive about. Heck, who am I kidding ? I was apprehensive about posting this thing LOL lol, jokes apart, Thanks Smriti. I tried to make it as simple and realistic as possible. It is very difficult to not make an alcoholic seem like a bad person, because it's very simple to point a finger at one and say that 'Hey, you're a pathetic loser cuz you're into alcohol'.
 
And yes, hope is one of the feelings I deeply identify with, I guess it just reflects in my writings Smile
 
A special mention for bringing out that being an alcoholic has nothing to do with one being essentially good or bad. Like any other individual he/she is a victim of an addiction. To an extent its like saying that 'Old habits die hard!'
 
Exactly. An alcoholic is not essentially a bad person, infact, they're victims themselves. They need help. That's it, that's all they need Smile

The sense of relief and contentment were all realistic and humane. It stems from an assurance that you aren't the only one at the receiving end of the misery. A sense of kinship and security is but natural!

Yes, I guess when one realizes that you're not the only one who has been through this, then the pain...lessens, in a way. To know that there are people who won't laugh at you when you say that you're from an alcoholic family, to know that they won't shun you, to know that you can simply be yourself, is a great feeling; almost euphoric.
 
I happen to love the prayer you chose to include; in a way its similar what I have stated earlier about the change in the direction of hope.
 
It's a customary prayer in the AA groups, I have it photoframed and it hangs in my room :) and although I don't believe in god, sometimes when I look at it, I feel as though I might find my faith someday afterall :)

All in all a wonderful attempt at the unconventional, a good way of conveying that the first step to solving a problem is the acceptance that there is a problem!

You know, you're bang on there. One of the main problems with alcoholism is that denial comes along with it. Many people simply refuse to accept that they're 'addicts' and 'need help'. They feel they're ok, that everything is ok. It takes a long time to simply accept that somewhere, there is a problem. I'm glad you noticed that :)

Love

Smriti

 

P.s. I happen to love the Gulab Jamun and Vanilla ice cream comboWinkReally ? It's my fav!  Approve


 
Thanks Smriti! Hug

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Posted: 01 October 2009 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by aish_punk

Hey Neeta..great story..
 
u made me think of an alchoholic in a different way..i used to think of him as a bad person..but he actually isnt..its just out of habit n fate..
 
i think u potrayed the emotions really beautifully..n enjoyed reading it..! :) it just depicted the pain so well..
 
it was sorta ironic that the protagonist and the narrator shared the same story?!
 
do write more
 
-Aish
 
Hey Aish! Big smile
 
I'm glad I could change your perspective about the alcoholic..to some extent :) They are not bad people, they're simply ill :)
 
Actually the protagonist and the narrator were both sitting in a group called 'AA', like I've explained it after the story ended. They share their experiences with the rest of the group, since all their problems stem from one issue (alcoholism), there are bound to be similarites Smile
 
Thanks again! Glad you liked it :)

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Posted: 02 October 2009 at 5:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ShadowKiss

Woah this story was amazing. Very creative writing. I know someone who can relate to this and it was upsetting to see someone you know like this.

However very nice short story. I don't see a reason for anyone to judge ANY character. I mean quitting something like alcohol is not easy. It takes time and sometimes it never changes.
 
Thanks alot :)
 
Well alot of people judge alcoholics and people from alcoholic families. The word 'alcoholism' itself exudes alot of negative vibes, I haven't seen/met one person who doesn't cringe when I utter 'alcohol addict'.
 
Anyway, thanks a ton for commenting! glad you liked it :D

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Posted: 02 October 2009 at 5:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Prasanthi

That was so well written Lizi. I loved the way you have narrated this one which deals with the trivial issue of alcoholism. Cheers Sweetheart for your effort!!!!!
 
Thanks Di! Big smile

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Posted: 02 October 2009 at 5:16am | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Nishi*

man... u write so good LOL i love how you can do that... just pick a topic and you could write a whole story with that alone. its really cool that you chose this topic too.. it was very well written and everything.. i feel bad for the girl when she was a kid Ouch i never realized how much that could affect someone.. thanks for sharing your story with us EmbarrassedBig smile

 
aww thanks a ton!
 
yeah, alcoholism can have extremely adverse effects on a person, it may not show on the surface, but it has a major role to play in altering one's personality.
 
thanks once again for commenting! Smile

-.nandini.-

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Posted: 02 October 2009 at 2:15pm | IP Logged
Hi Neeta...Smile
 
I can't quite make up my mind about where to begin. This is a subject very close to my heart as well. The title, Boundless Circle, I think attests absolutely perfectly for the kind of life, and the kind of state of mind you've described. And if this is indeed something you have seen someone else go through, then you have articulated it from a personal point of view very accurately, and the beauty of what you've conveyed lies for me in the simplicity with which you've done it. What I receive when I read through it is a direct insight into the mind of a girl who has lived a dreary, strained, sad, desperate life, is suddenly opening herself up to the possibility that such an existence can be overcome, and, most importantly, is realising that she is not alone.
 
The parallel conversation with her image in the mirror...wow...brilliantly conveys how such a life creates in her a kind of dual existence: one that has everything she clings onto for happiness, her escape from oppressive thoughts and surroundings, and another that brings her face to face with the reality that, try as she might, she cannot run away from. What I also found extremely well brought out was the sense of absolute helplessness that she has gone through as a child, searching for a way to put a stop to it all, but finding herself utterly powerless against it.
 
I also understand why you've said that none of these characters should be judged. And I'm not sure if it's also what you had in mind, but I would think that includes the alcoholic father too. It is a disease, and not a habit after a point, and it is very difficult for the girl to understand that as well, because all she has seen through all those years are the fights and the unpredictable behaviour. It would tend to overshadow any benefit of doubt she might think of giving him, especially because she has been watching him like this since she was a child. Now, at these meetings, she's beginning to learn not to judge too, just like the reader is being asked not to judge her or anyone else in the story. I could be entirely off the mark here, but this is what the story made me feel.
 
And you're right, 28 Days does make an honest attempt at getting there. Particularly the bit when her sister comes for that session where she speaks about the scene at her wedding, after which they sit together at the bench outside, going over their lives and realising where they really stand as human beings, and as a family. And most importantly, the one statement central to the healing process : Ask For Help. That's what AA works on too, isn't it? The strength to admit that you need help, the courage to ask for it, and the will to take yourself through the process.
 
Oh my, I just rambled on and on. Seem to have a knack for doing that alot, really. But finally, in a nutshell, I think your story is simple, poignant and very effective.
 
Thank you for having given me the opportunity to read it, and to comment on it too.
 
Cheers! Smile


Edited by nandinidev - 02 October 2009 at 2:23pm

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Posted: 03 October 2009 at 9:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by nandinidev

Hi Neeta...Smile
 
I can't quite make up my mind about where to begin. This is a subject very close to my heart as well. The title, Boundless Circle, I think attests absolutely perfectly for the kind of life, and the kind of state of mind you've described. And if this is indeed something you have seen someone else go through, then you have articulated it from a personal point of view very accurately, and the beauty of what you've conveyed lies for me in the simplicity with which you've done it. What I receive when I read through it is a direct insight into the mind of a girl who has lived a dreary, strained, sad, desperate life, is suddenly opening herself up to the possibility that such an existence can be overcome, and, most importantly, is realising that she is not alone.
 
Thankyou Nandini Smile I actually spent more time on the title than the actual story, because I didn't know what to name it, and then somehow I got the cue from the first line itself :) I'm glad you like it. Yes, simplicity is something that we hardly associate with 'alcoholism'. The interpretation is always extreme. (Courtesy our films, as mentioned by smriti)
 
The parallel conversation with her image in the mirror...wow...brilliantly conveys how such a life creates in her a kind of dual existence: one that has everything she clings onto for happiness, her escape from oppressive thoughts and surroundings, and another that brings her face to face with the reality that, try as she might, she cannot run away from. What I also found extremely well brought out was the sense of absolute helplessness that she has gone through as a child, searching for a way to put a stop to it all, but finding herself utterly powerless against it.
 
I guess such a situation does give rise to conflicted thought processes, emotions etc within a person. It is extremely difficult to get past the stage of 'denial', I know people who refuse to accept that they're addicts inspite of drinking for 20 years, and same goes for their family members. People tend to cling to onto every small source of happiness in such situations, even if it something as irrelevant as the number of friends.
 
Thanks Nandini, the parallel flashbacks were something I found extremely difficult to write, I'm happy it came across well Smile
 
I also understand why you've said that none of these characters should be judged. And I'm not sure if it's also what you had in mind, but I would think that includes the alcoholic father too. It is a disease, and not a habit after a point, and it is very difficult for the girl to understand that as well, because all she has seen through all those years are the fights and the unpredictable behaviour. It would tend to overshadow any benefit of doubt she might think of giving him, especially because she has been watching him like this since she was a child. Now, at these meetings, she's beginning to learn not to judge too, just like the reader is being asked not to judge her or anyone else in the story. I could be entirely off the mark here, but this is what the story made me feel.
 
It does, infact when I said, "Please don't judge the characters", I mainly meant the father. And you're absolutely right :) Alcoholics (and their families) are often subjected to alot of scrutiny, probably because of the widespread stigmatization of the disease that an alcoholic is essentialy a bad person, and respectable people simply cannot be addicts.
 
And you're right, 28 Days does make an honest attempt at getting there. Particularly the bit when her sister comes for that session where she speaks about the scene at her wedding, after which they sit together at the bench outside, going over their lives and realising where they really stand as human beings, and as a family. And most importantly, the one statement central to the healing process : Ask For Help. That's what AA works on too, isn't it? The strength to admit that you need help, the courage to ask for it, and the will to take yourself through the process.
 
Oh yes, those parts are my favourite too :) Yes, AA is basically all about accepting yourself as you are including the fact that as a human, you need help at various stages of life. I've been to quite a few sessions myself, and all the folks are probably the most honest lot I've across in my life :)
 
Oh my, I just rambled on and on. Seem to have a knack for doing that alot, really. But finally, in a nutshell, I think your story is simple, poignant and very effective.
 
Thankyou so much!
 
Thank you for having given me the opportunity to read it, and to comment on it too.
 
Cheers! Smile
 
Thanks Nandini Big smile You're comment made my day :)


Edited by -Neetz- - 12 October 2009 at 3:37am

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