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Boundless Circle l Short story (Page 2)

-Edelweiss- Senior Member
-Edelweiss-
-Edelweiss-

Joined: 07 October 2008
Posts: 604

Posted: 26 September 2009 at 12:13pm | IP Logged
Hmm... RESERVED.Approve

Can't wait to read this, seems very different from the previous writings.

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U-No-Poo

smriti.tweety Senior Member
smriti.tweety
smriti.tweety

Joined: 13 August 2006
Posts: 238

Posted: 26 September 2009 at 11:25pm | IP Logged

* reserved *

Will be back after I have given it some thought. A prompt comment wouldn't do justice to the theme :)


And I am back after having thought this one over :D

 

Hey girl!

Firstly a big pat on the back for posting something on a subject as mature and tough as alcoholism! Star

Knowing it was you who had done it I was sure it wouldn't edge on being dramatic; something easily possible with the subject and the history of how our films tend to portray it.

Its quite a serious issue in itself and I loved the sensitivity you have shown towards it.

I think the strength of it lay in it being simple and subtle. The interplay between the narrator's past and experience of the other member was something unique; haven't read anything like that and no, you didn't confuse me. The nave hopes of the teenager have been aptly and beautifully articulated. The eventual realization of the hard-hitting reality serving only as an impetus to change the direction of hope, hope remains nevertheless! That I feel is the reality of growing up, hopes tend to find a rationale.

A special mention for bringing out that being an alcoholic has nothing to do with one being essentially good or bad. Like any other individual he/she is a victim of an addiction. To an extent its like saying that 'Old habits die hard!'

The sense of relief and contentment were all realistic and humane. It stems from an assurance that you aren't the only one at the receiving end of the misery. A sense of kinship and security is but natural!

I happen to love the prayer you chose to include; in a way its similar what I have stated earlier about the change in the direction of hope.

All in all a wonderful attempt at the unconventional, a good way of conveying that the first step to solving a problem is the acceptance that there is a problem!

 

Love

Smriti

 

P.s. I happen to love the Gulab Jamun and Vanilla ice cream comboWink

 




Edited by smriti.tweety - 27 September 2009 at 1:27am

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U-No-Poo

aish_punk IF-Sizzlerz
aish_punk
aish_punk

Joined: 11 January 2008
Posts: 20622

Posted: 27 September 2009 at 10:52am | IP Logged
Hey Neeta..great story..
 
u made me think of an alchoholic in a different way..i used to think of him as a bad person..but he actually isnt..its just out of habit n fate..
 
i think u potrayed the emotions really beautifully..n enjoyed reading it..! :) it just depicted the pain so well..
 
it was sorta ironic that the protagonist and the narrator shared the same story?!
 
do write more
 
-Aish

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U-No-Poo

innocentdevil. Goldie
innocentdevil.
innocentdevil.

Joined: 04 August 2009
Posts: 2004

Posted: 27 September 2009 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
Woah this story was amazing. Very creative writing. I know someone who can relate to this and it was upsetting to see someone you know like this.



However very nice short story. I don't see a reason for anyone to judge ANY character. I mean quitting something like alcohol is not easy. It takes time and sometimes it never changes.

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U-No-Poo

U-No-Poo IF-Sizzlerz
U-No-Poo
U-No-Poo

Joined: 15 June 2007
Posts: 23486

Posted: 28 September 2009 at 1:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ishan.k

OMG NEeta its a wonderful story with emotional  moments !!! Its awesome neeta. U have got excellent writing skills !!! Clap
 
Thankyou Ishan! Big smile Glad you liked it Big smile
BilliCat. Viewbie
BilliCat.
BilliCat.

Joined: 12 January 2009
Posts: 17390

Posted: 28 September 2009 at 2:16am | IP Logged
gr8 one dii Clap

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U-No-Poo IF-Sizzlerz
U-No-Poo
U-No-Poo

Joined: 15 June 2007
Posts: 23486

Posted: 29 September 2009 at 3:26am | IP Logged
Originally posted by daffodils.dudu

gr8 one dii Clap
 
Thanks! Big smile

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Prasanthi IF-Rockerz
Prasanthi
Prasanthi

Joined: 24 June 2008
Posts: 5421

Posted: 30 September 2009 at 12:01am | IP Logged
That was so well written Lizi. I loved the way you have narrated this one which deals with the trivial issue of alcoholism. Cheers Sweetheart for your effort!!!!!

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