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return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 14 September 2009 at 11:34pm | IP Logged
This weekend in DKD one of the question was 'How many women think that chivalry is dead?'. To this the comedian Dave Chappelle once gave a resoundingly witty answer 'Chivalry is dead! And Women killed it'

It makes one wonder what Chivalry really means and what the status of it is in our modern world. Old tales of Chivalry, come from the chivalrous knight in shining armor who alway came to the aide of the damsel in distress. Sir Walter Raleigh laying down his coat so that Queen Elizabeth not have to step in a puddle. Old Victorian romances speak of men who would do anything to protect the lady and preserve her honor.

However, the truth is the modern woman really does not want to be treated as the damsel in distress. She does not want to be considered or treated as weak, or one who needs help. She wants to be strong and independent and be on her own. Men who shield, protect and romance women this way are considered obsessive, smothering and disrespectful to her individuality. So it is true that from a certain point of view, women have indeed killed Chivalry.

Is it fair than of women to lament that it no longer exists?

Something else reminded me of this. Our farm manager's wife has been helping us in the office with paperwork recently. Last week a bouquet of flower arrived mysteriously. Her husband had sent it to her. It was no special occasion, no holiday, birthday, anniversary or any event of some sort, he just sent her flowers for the fun of it. I found from another co-worker that he often sends his wife flowers with no special occasion. They have teenage kids, but they still hold hands everywhere, they still have date nights and are new couple cuddly in public. Apparently he is of the firm belief that one has to constantly show such displays of affection to sustain the relationship. Had I not known them both, I would have assumed she was a smothered small town country wife whose life revolves around her husband. But she is quite independent, she models frequently for catalog ads, runs her own office cleaning service. I have to admit feeling a bit jealous wondering are such men for real.

So women - what does chivalry mean to you? Is it dead or alive? Did we women kill it? What do we honestly expect from men? Do we really want absolute independence or do we secretly want to be smothered and showered with affection and protection like the old school knight in shining armor days?

And men - what are your thoughts on chivalry? Do you think you are chivalrous? Do you try to be chivalrous? Do you think its important or not? What do you think will make women feel more loved and respected?

And all can chivalry and womens equality go hand in hand?

Also can women be chivalrous towards men, or people in general to each other? Does it have to be a male concept?


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Summer3

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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 1:46am | IP Logged
The harsh words of modern day women can easily pierce any chivalrous armour the men wear. But yes there are as many men with chivalry as there are demure and sofly speaking ladies. Chivalry is a quality of the Heroes and self-confident males. some will say it is impractical in modern day terms when women seek to be independent; but even the hardest women loves the touch of a gentle rose.

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Vinzy

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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 2:24am | IP Logged

Guys do like playing the knight in shining armour Big smile just not all the time.Smilebt a needy women who couldn't do anything themselves were a major turn off.

_Angie_

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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 2:46am | IP Logged
very interesting post RTH, Clapnever really thought about it ! Tongue
 
Originally posted by return_to_hades


So women - what does chivalry mean to you? Is it dead or alive?
Its still alive ! Wink LOL
 
Did we women kill it? To some extent , yes Smile
 
 What do we honestly expect from men? Do we really want absolute independence or do we secretly want to be smothered and showered with affection and protection like the old school knight in shining armor days?
I think we want a proper balance of independence as well as affection. why have just one & lose the other when we can have both ?Wink At least I want my independence to do what I want to do and chivalrous ppl around  to do what i dont want to do myself ! LOLIf someone offers to drive, while I can enjoy the scenery, if someone offers to carry my piles of books which I cud have carried anyway, why shud I have an issue??? Confused 

And men - what are your thoughts on chivalry? Do you think you are chivalrous? Do you try to be chivalrous? Do you think its important or not? What do you think will make women feel more loved and respected?
I shud let the menfolk answer this but cant help quipping in that most men act chivalrous when they want to flirt . Thats the reason why most boyfriends act chivalrous but when they turn into hubby , somehow the chivalrous part of them goes missing Wink

And all can chivalry and womens equality go hand in hand?
chivalry to some extent is fine , but I dont think the extreme like throwing ur coat for a lady to walk on wud be appreciated anymore Ermm
Also can women be chivalrous towards men, or people in general to each other? Does it have to be a male concept?
women can be affectionate & caring to their men & infact they are ! Dont know if it wud be termed as chivalrous though as  I think the term chivalrous refers to men's affectionate/respectful  helpful conduct towards women, Ermm

So I wud say Thumbs Up to chivalry to some extent  LOL but not so much as to smother any gal Wink
 
 
 

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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 4:11am | IP Logged
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casper2

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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 4:26am | IP Logged
women were always chivalrous , hai na ? Wink LOL

return_to_hades

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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
I think chivalry has evolved, but men have not evolved with with it.

Chivalry no longer means knight in shining armor saving the damsel from dungeons and dragons.

Chivalry now means

Stand outside the ladies restroom holding my hot pink purse looking like a dork and endure everyone staring by as I take my own sweet time to fix my make up.

Save the woman in a true dire emergency by boldly rushing to the convenience store for some Advil and feminine products.

Save the lady from mortal peril danger and injury by driving across town to giver her a ride because she broke her pencil heel and we know how dangerous it is for a lady to walk barefooted.

LOL


Honestly, I think a lot more women need to just ask themselves what they truly expect from men. The problem I think is women send conflicting signals, they want to be treated as independent individuals and also be cared for and pampered at the same time. Men have a hard time reading these mixed signals, and sometimes end up being annoying despite well meant intentions simply because the girl was high maintenance.

You know why a guy loves his tools and toys. They are simple and easy to use. Even the most intricate piece of high end machinery comes with instructions. Oil it, lube it, clean it - and it runs. Women on the other hand are just way too much. One day they need chocolate, the next day they need shopping, the third day lots of hugs and kisses - and the worst thing is they have no indicator lamp telling what maintenance work is needed.

I have to say I like Russel Brand's attitude to the modern independent women - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abZyfRJXkkk . Guys are often shocked and surprised at how much action some of the emo kids or metrosexuals get.

The thing is they have two things women love great fashion and great hair. Moreover, they are sensitive, shy, emotional, write poetry and love songs. The independent woman is thrilled. A man she can take care of. A man she can truly share her emotions with. A man who will write symphonies for her. Before she knows it the man is more thrilled than her.

LOL

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_Angie_

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Posted: 15 September 2009 at 11:44pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Honestly, I think a lot more women need to just ask themselves what they truly expect from men.
women know what they expect from their men, but the problem is they want it without having to spell it out. this ften leaves the poor guy guessing with disastrous results of course LOL
The problem I think is women send conflicting signals, they want to be treated as independent individuals and also be cared for and pampered at the same time. Men have a hard time reading these mixed signals, and sometimes end up being annoying despite well meant intentions simply because the girl was high maintenance.
 
Agreed LOL Cant really blame the poor guys !


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