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Open Marraiges - Threat to Indian culture ??

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Posted: 06 September 2009 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
1) Live-In relationship is when two people in a long term relationship choose to live together.
2) Open relationship is when two people are in a long term relationship, but are not exclusive. That is even though they are "together" they are open to date other people.
3) Open marriage is when two people are married, but are open to date other people.

I am going to assume this topic is on 3.

To me open marriage is an oxymoron. It makes absolutely no sense at all and defeats the purpose of marriage. Open relationships make sense because you could be at a stage where you are not ready to commit and want to explore options before making the final decision. But marriage exists only when two people genuinely love each other and want to spend the rest off their lives together. Marriage takes place when they make the commitment to be with each other and faithful to each other forever. If you want to see other people or do not want to be tied down then it is not a marriage.

However, that is what marriage should ideally be. In our society nowadays love and commitment hold no value for marriage. Marriage is nothing but a contract between two people as defined by society, laws and religion. So if someone is marrying simply because of some sort of social obligation or to continue lineage, then why not let them be free to search for what they want. I mere religious rituals or legal documents determine marriage, why should the people feel emotionally bound.

But yes if two people love each other and make that commitment to each other, they are essentially married and two people married out of love would never even want to be with someone else, even the thought of it is impossible.

How should Indians view it. Many Indian families tend to force people into marriage out of social obligations. When society itself destroys the sanctity of what ought to be marriage then why should the two married individuals preserve it.

Since someone recently had a topic on Indian soaps, let me cite those examples. In Choti Bahu, Dev and Vishakha find themselves married out of circumstance unwillingly. They are married legally, but not ritually or spiritually. Many youth do find themselves in such circumstance. Since divorce is taboo and can malign families the two married individuals decide to stay married, but each lives his own life. They may even have children and fulfill duty towards family, but will seek other outlets for emotional and physical intimacy.

If we as a society want people to keep the sanctity of marriage, we have to respect the sanctity. Marriage should be given more importance as a commitment and compromise rather than a contract. People should encourage marriages out of that love and dissuade marriages out of obligations. If someone is not ready for marriage or does not want to, they should not be forced, you could potentially ruin someones life through that.

In short make sure marriage is about a long term commitment of love and nothing else. When society can actually believe in that and follow it, be it east or west, everything else will also fall in place.

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Posted: 06 September 2009 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
So the purpose of open marriages is to perhaps get discounts on car insurance and to be able to file tax jointly?

That is the silliest thing I've heard. The basic foundation of marriage is a long-term commitment of love, a promise to spend the rest of your life with someone you love. There is nothing "open" about it - its all closed.

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Beyond_the_Veil

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Posted: 06 September 2009 at 11:05pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*

So the purpose of open marriages is to perhaps get discounts on car insurance and to be able to file tax jointly?


And cheaper health care.

If my insurance premium keeps going up like it is now, I might seriously have to give marriage consideration.

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