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joint family vs nuclear family (Page 2)

syrene Goldie
syrene
syrene

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Posted: 07 November 2005 at 10:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by lakshmi_maruthi

Yet another good topic

Ok, what does a joint family really mean? People living under the same roof. Then no thanks. But a joint family is much more than that. A joint family teaches you many things like, loving each other, caring for each other, doing things together, being there for each other. It is not only a group of people who care for each other, but those who are ready to give up things if required to stay together.

Today every corporate talks of sharing, team work. These are basics a joint family teaches a child. In todays age, people want joint families only when convinient.

On the other hand, a neuclear family teaches you to be confident and self sufficient most of the times. But at the cost of the love and care of others in the family.


so true... i guess that for all of us the grass appears greener on the othr side. when i was struggling to balance my kids and my job a joint family seemed so ideal.. but when i thought about it kids will ultimately grow up and get over the having to be looked after phase..... then at that point of time do u really want someone constantly looking over u'r shoulder and telling u how to deal with u'r kid?    for most of us letting our hair down after  a hard days work is very important....... but with the generation gap and difference in lifestyles and all i wonder if that is possible with older family members present?

at the same time kids in a joint family learn family values better recieve proper care and attention at all times and are more sharing and caring!!!

Confused
deepey IF-Dazzler
deepey
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Posted: 08 November 2005 at 12:22pm | IP Logged
joint family!!
lakshmi_maruthi Goldie
lakshmi_maruthi
lakshmi_maruthi

Joined: 07 May 2004
Posts: 1921

Posted: 08 November 2005 at 1:37pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by winnie_pooh

so true... i guess that for all of us the grass appears greener on the othr side. when i was struggling to balance my kids and my job a joint family seemed so ideal.. but when i thought about it kids will ultimately grow up and get over the having to be looked after phase..... then at that point of time do u really want someone constantly looking over u'r shoulder and telling u how to deal with u'r kid?    for most of us letting our hair down after  a hard days work is very important....... but with the generation gap and difference in lifestyles and all i wonder if that is possible with older family members present?

at the same time kids in a joint family learn family values better recieve proper care and attention at all times and are more sharing and caring!!!

Confused

So, we wish the family around only when we need them. Also why do we assume that someone is constantly looking over'ur shoulder. Why don't we take that as advice from a person who is more experienced than us. I know suitations are different from what they were before. But then I think everyone understands. You givein to some but you fight for somethings. Maybe I am better off fighting for my choice than having it easy.

Why do we have the feeling we cannot be free with family around. I would expect one to be free with their family around. anwya, this will go on like a chicken and egg problemBig smile.

syrene Goldie
syrene
syrene

Joined: 08 October 2005
Posts: 1653

Posted: 09 November 2005 at 4:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by lakshmi_maruthi

Originally posted by winnie_pooh

so true... i guess that for all of us the grass appears greener on the othr side. when i was struggling to balance my kids and my job a joint family seemed so ideal.. but when i thought about it kids will ultimately grow up and get over the having to be looked after phase..... then at that point of time do u really want someone constantly looking over u'r shoulder and telling u how to deal with u'r kid?    for most of us letting our hair down after  a hard days work is very important....... but with the generation gap and difference in lifestyles and all i wonder if that is possible with older family members present?

at the same time kids in a joint family learn family values better recieve proper care and attention at all times and are more sharing and caring!!!

Confused

So, we wish the family around only when we need them. Also why do we assume that someone is constantly looking over'ur shoulder. Why don't we take that as advice from a person who is more experienced than us. I know suitations are different from what they were before. But then I think everyone understands. You givein to some but you fight for somethings. Maybe I am better off fighting for my choice than having it easy.

Why do we have the feeling we cannot be free with family around. I would expect one to be free with their family around. anwya, this will go on like a chicken and egg problemBig smile.





umm.... sorry dear if u knew my inlaws u would understand that they would be constantly looking not only over my shoulder but even my headOuch
Naina_Manam IF-Dazzler
Naina_Manam
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Posted: 09 November 2005 at 12:29pm | IP Logged
Well, yes I agree sometimes the joint familes don't turn out to be very good but for me it has and I love my familiy since they are always there to help!
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
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Posts: 4926

Posted: 09 November 2005 at 2:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by winnie_pooh



umm.... sorry dear if u knew my inlaws u would understand that they would be constantly looking not only over my shoulder but even my headOuch


Winnie the pooh - Same here . I can't live with mine . The whole idea is scary . How to dress , what to eat , where to go , what time you should be home , what i must to do and what i must not, don't sleep late...blah blah blah!!! The whole day all you get is lecture and advice . Its fine when you are growing up , not when you are as old as me !!

Laksmi - Not every one is comfortable in an enviorment fighting for what they belive in .........like i love animals .....my in- laws hate them .........i want pets around at all times ........they can't tolerate it !!! A time comes when you wish .........you could decide what you want to do with your own money . I am earning .........i have the right to spend it on my pets or what ever i care for .........no one is going to lecture me about what i should do !!
Eventually one must weigh the pros and cons of both situation and decide what you can live with in the long term !!Smile


Edited by indygirl - 09 November 2005 at 2:22pm
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
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Posted: 09 November 2005 at 2:16pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by JK_5

I personally live in a nuclear family but I wanna have a joint family coz it's so much better and u have lots of fun and u always have lots of ppl u can talk to but in a nuclear family u don't have too many ppl that u can talk to also u can sometimes be very lonely and that can sometimes lead u into depressionOuch


Yes thats an advantage even i feel !!! My hubby travels a lot , and i remain alone by myself ..............thats when i miss companionship !!
Morgoth IF-Veteran Member
Morgoth
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Joined: 01 June 2004
Posts: 6832

Posted: 09 November 2005 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
nuclear family.

reasons:

1) my relatives are nice when we meet for a short period. afterwards, all hell breaks loose!

2) privacy and personal space. no nags breathing down my neck about what i ought to be doing, why i'm doing something, etc, etc.

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