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phan-pheeka- shukla sir married update:part 12 pg8

psycho_angel IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 April 2009
Posts: 4862

Posted: 05 August 2009 at 3:56am | IP Logged
1st ff update *blushes furiously*Blushing
shukla sir married
shukla ji arranged his 3rd lock of hair carefully around the bald patch in the middle so that his head looked like a black jalebi from top...sighed and buttoned his coat.his better half had drank up all the doodh he was supposed to be drinking on his suhaag raat night and was now snoring softly.the sound reminded shukla of the battle of plassey he wanted to lecture on in the class tonight.

he pictured his suhaag raat in his mind ..
*flashback mode*
his better half in a huge red ghoonghat coughing slightly as he enters..closes the door and asks "mahodaya...yadi aapko kanth ki kasht ho rahi hai,to kripaya jal ka sevan karein"
his better half gets up...[her face is still hidden]...she is wearing a shimmery ultratight pink glittery wedding dress and 8 inch pink stilletos and tries to walk on rubbery legs towards the table.

shukla is vaguely reminded of a certain miss slimy green pants chaal in his college

she lifts the ghoonghat...batts her gunked up eyelids ...and flashes the hugest of all smiles that extend to her ear...shukla counts 5 teeth[just 5] then shukla zooms on his face from 3 music of thunderstorm and lightning..the word "tum?" echoes in the background "tum? "tum?" "tum?"

to be continued...

guys ..what do u want the passionate scenes to be like?
im sorry i couldnt incorporate the previous scoop due to some of ur demands...u see,when a story his written,we dont think about screen space,we do a lot of editing and overlapping..thats the beauty of the show...also,now the story has changed from please continue giving suggestions

Edited by mjhtac - 19 December 2009 at 12:50am

psycho_angel IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 April 2009
Posts: 4862

Posted: 05 August 2009 at 3:57am | IP Logged
part 2 ff shukla sir married

the bride takes off her remaining teeth,fake tattoo and wig and puts them in the drawer[shukla considers if he should go into the drawer as well] ...still coughing...she reaches for the kesar waali doodh on the table

"naheeeeeeee" screams shukla in protest "mahodaya,kripaya dughd ko haathh na lagaye..woh humara hai"...but she finishes the doodh in one go and smacks her lips

shukla now looks scared.his bride is slowly approaching towards him...with an evil,twisted ,toothless smile on her face....shukla runs towards the door and starts fumbling with the lock.....unfortunately some evil cousin of the bride has locked the door from outside...shukla can hear their giggles from a distant place.the bride laughs an evil,mirthless laugh *hee hee hee hee* bg music of bijli karkaofying and wolves howling* he can see her face clearly now.a  stubble of five days is clearly visible on her chin.

at that moment,the lights go out ...."thank god." shukla says a silent prayer..."the bijli and the thunderstorm werent sfx then...the sky really is overcast and theres a power cut as well"

the bride stumbles in the dark...hits her head and falls with a crash on the floor.

shukla tries a feeble attempt at bravado to pick her up [mappu  ishtyle],does an ungainly pirouette..drops her and finally drags her off to the bed. "whew!"shukla thinks ...."bala tali!nahito is ghangor andhakaar mein kaunsa ghangor paap ho jaata"

*end of flashback scene*

scoop for next day : shukla carefully making a white elephant cutout and a lady trying on different fake noses and admiring herself in the mirror..they are going on their first date!!
psycho_angel IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 April 2009
Posts: 4862

Posted: 05 August 2009 at 3:57am | IP Logged
ff chapter 3...spew[society of progression of extras welfare]
okay,many of u have been complaining that i have been neglecting the minor characters of the show.some of u have gone as as far as promoting them by opening up their here i go

shukla enters his class and shouts "humko is kaksha mein sui patak sannata chahiye!!".the classroom is filled with sniggers."sui patak sannata!!!!" shukla screams.he randomly scribbles topic for the dy on the green board and blows out a sigh of frustration.."yeh aaj ke zamane ke chhatra..koi aachaar vyavhar hi nahi aata hai inko".he tries his old trick of strategically arranging his oil slicked hair on his bald pate....immediately,a part of his shiny pate peeks out.samrat quickly texts "dekho chaand aaya ..chand nazar aaya" to sheena...who assuming its a lowee sms....grinns till her mouth corners touch her ears.then samrat sends a paper flier to his dear chashmish with the same message.chashmish scribbles "moon moon ko dekh raha hai" quickly, scrunches it into a paper ball and aims at samrat.but her aim is so pathetic,it falls on the floor.

shukla ji collects the asignments of his students and his glance falls on the paper.totally nonplussed he opens and reads it.shukla blushes furiously coz he assumes sheena,who was sitting next to samrat has sent a lowwee message to him[now as everyone can see from my siggie,im an ardernt shushee shipper]..shukla ji does the customary swipe of hands over his oily head . "mahodaya sheena" ..sheena jumps at the sound of her name[she was busy playing cross and noughts to herself and thinks she is being punished]..quickly tries to stand up and bumps her head against a shukla,who is almost bent double on her[samrat is shown gagging here with his fingers pinching his nose]..this head bumping scene was requested by kavya earlier[sorry this is the best i could do..u need to dumb down ur suggestions a bit in the future]
so anyways...back to shushee..sheena goes red as a beetroot and stammers "sorry sir,mera assignment poora nahi hua"
"koi baat nahi mahodaya...aap apna karya samapt karne ke liye khali kaksha ka upyog kar sakte hain" sheena looks puzzled.samrat exclaims "hes asking u to use ur next free class for ur assignment"...sheena looks furious.she was planning to use the next free class for getting an ankle tattoo that read "im low maintenance on food and clothes"
psycho_angel IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 April 2009
Posts: 4862

Posted: 05 August 2009 at 3:57am | IP Logged
ff update part 4 "the moment of truth"
well...u guys had requested for some hawt scenes...esp,shukla topless scene[all of u wanted that scene,didnt u,u naughty girls?],dancing around a tree scene[rama],a wet scene[shamil] and a white horse scene[adi3] or something[well the white horse has been changed to a mad bull..budget problems u see?]...and kavya had requested for a flicking dust on the nose scene[only it has been changed to gobar;again techincal difficulty of finding dust in the rains in mumbai] i go
students had planned earlier for a holi party,which went haywire coz mappu drank up shuklajis bhang.this holi,shukla determined to finish his own drink for once,after the suhaag raat debacle of kesar doodh,drinks his own thandai in one go.
15mins later...tauba tera jalwa...tera emossanal attyachar plays in the bg[sorry for lack of a good song,im not a song writer unlike shamil,adi,or adi3...maybe ill get help with the lyrics from u guys from now on]...shukla in a state of euphoria,takes off his wet and soppy now almost transparent shirt..a  white horse tattoo is visible on his tummy.shukla starts dancing around a tree using it as a pole and waving his red ,very wet shirt around his head.a bull grazing nearby,is distracted by this scene and
excited at the sight of a topless gummy bear doing a pole dance.excited,it paws the ground..unnoticed by shukla,who is still waving the shirt merrily and singing " a womanizer"a la britney spears style.sheena suddenly notices a bull charging full fledged at shukla... "sirji!!bhagoo" sheena shouts..shukla,terrified at the sudden appearance of the bull,runs full steam towards sheena,skids on the pile of gobar which the bull had laid earlier and rolls on the ground with sheena.the red shirt having been abandoned near the tree,where the bull is chewing on it merrily now."sorry sir" apologizes sheena ..shukla shares a cute eyelock with sheena,and still in a state of high,picks up a little gobar on his index finger and rubs it on sheenas nose..then smiling dilligently,shukla passes out.
students gather around to escort shukla home.
*doorbell rings*
a woman completely clad in her bridal attire opens the door
at the sight of a half conscious shukla,she gives up all pretence and takes off her ghoonghat and shouts "naheeee!!!pati dev ji!!yeh aapko kya ho gaya??"
*the secret is revealed* *rvs theme music plays in the BG*
"rakhi sawant????!!!!""u are our bhabhiji??" *mayank is shown leaving the house here,looking utterly dejected*
"what happened to her front teeth man?"
"didnt u know?her final round of rks didnt go as planned...some elash lashed out at rakhi for getting kissed by one of the contestants on her forehead the previous night...rakhi challenged elash to kiss better than the ongoing madness,someone aimed a punch at elash,which misfired and hit rakhis mouth.rks was postponed indefinitely since all the remaining contestants started fighting over leaving the premises first with rakhis front set of teeth"
"coz they were insured.the other replaceable parts...nose...cheeks...err,some other parts are interchangeable"
"yes,it was me,u silly billies"...smiles rakhi coyly "pehli baar poore kapdon mein thi na,isiliye tum log mujhe welding day par pehchaan nahi paye"
"im very happy for u rakhi ji...aapko aapka pyaar mil gaya"..smiles uday
"oohh uday u r cho chweeett!!!" exclaims rakhi. *dia gags* *rakhi ruffles udays hair* *rakhi swoops down on uday and plants two very wet kisses on udays cheeks and reaches for his mouth* uday,clearly anxious to leave the scene,somehow extricates himself from rakhis grip and escapes ..."media ko bulao!!!"rakhi screams"main pyar ki bhookhi hoon!!mere bhi kuch sapne hai!main ek agyakaari susheel patni hoon!!woh bhi legal!!"
meanwhile...shukla slowly regains consciousness and flutters his eyes "adarniya mahodaya ji" murmurs shukla...both sheena and rakhi respond at once.rakhi realizes shushee is chalaoing chakkar behind her back . "kalmoohi...kalankini...nikal ja abhi!!!!nahi to main media ko bulaoongi!!!"...sheena tries explaining "he is calling me adarniya...u r his januable"...but rakhi doesnt like ths idea and chases sheena with a belan.not wanting to remain with an exceptionally angry rakhi alone,sheena&samrat lay
rubber.only gunjan is left behind at the scene and she is scared to go home alone at 11pm,without samrat to escort she starts singing "kya hua yeh...kyon hua yeh[sad version]" until rakhi cant take it anymore and bellows "abey chup ho jaa,meri maa!"

credits:my previous ff "spew" got its idea from some angel in disguise from the dmg forum the "moon moon ko dekh raha hai" idea was inspired from her.i would like to give her the credit for it.

scoops: none for the weekend *gives everyone a smug,superior,patronizing look*

psycho_angel IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 April 2009
Posts: 4862

Posted: 05 August 2009 at 3:58am | IP Logged
ff shukla sir married part 5 -the so called pool party:
shukla and rakhi are celebrating the 4th day anniversary of their suhaag raat.the guests arrive at the venue of the farmhouse[an erstwhile ranch]. the gates have gigantic cutouts of two white elephants, which have garden sprinklers attached to their so called trunks,and are pouring water on the guests passing under it.
the guys find it fact some like dodo,attempt to take their morning bath in it.some spoiltsports like gunjan mutter under their breath and give it dark looks and use umbrellas to pass under the area.some others like dia simply make a disgusted face looking at it and utter "whatever".rakhi however,thinks its very romantic.her dream man was supposed to come on a white elephant and marry her.however shuklas elephant had collapsed with a huge thud under his weight and shukla had to walk  the remaining way to his wedding.
the poolside chairs are occupied by shuklas khaandan,who rakhi is appalled to note ,have used 2-3 pool chairs each to spread out their vast lard of body fat.some of them are gleefully rubbing sunblock into their neverending cushion of fat.rakhi is strongly reminded of a recent animal planet program featuring basking hippos.
the guests have put on their best swimwear for the pool party... gunjan has accessorized her
full sleeved yellow salwar with a yellow balaclava and veil..mayank has put on a cute,white and fluffy dog collar and has left it at that[so we all get a peek at his hawwwt body.again(*yawn*)].sheena has strategically arranged her pillowcase on herself..... and rakhi..well no one really knows what rakhi is wearing,but please dont create a topic on it criticizing her attire,guys,coz a certain lovely-heart-owner no1 might take offence and attack u,saying its a chic westernwear and u dont have any taste.
lack of proper seating arrangements prompts rakhi to arrange their game indoors. "its a new game guys!!" rakhi announces "its called truth or stare...its very simple...whoever gets the pillow,has to utter the truth and whoever challenges,gets to stare"..."what do we get to stare at?" asks mayank "ME!!" says rakhi happily,doing a jig from one of her item numbers.mayank wolf whistles and nupur looks sour.
rakhi resumes her seat,next to mayank,having successfully squashed herself between mayank and nupur with a "zara adjust kar lena".mayank assuming hes holding nupurs hands,squeezes rakhis hand and rakhi blushes.
anyways,rakhi suddenly reminded of her duty as an agyaakari bharatiya nari,proceeds to give mayank a long lecture about her duties as a wife and tells him that she has got pictures of her pati,her ex pati,her ex boyfriends and her patis ex gfs all in a heart shaped locket she wears around her neck.

rakhi opens the locket and shows mayank the pictures.nupur was eyeing makhi from a corner until now.on seeing the locket,nupur maddened with rage,snatches the locket from mappu and hurls it into the pool."naheeee!!!!!mera mangalsutra!!!yeh meri suhaaag ki nishaani hai"screams rakhi.."aag lage tere suhaag ko" nupur screeches...rakhi flings her arms out in the 70s nirupa roy style and runs towards the pool.unfortunately the pool side is  little slippery,since sheena had vowed to brush her teeth three times a day after samrat's smart comment and had rinsed her mouth few minutes earlier using the pool water.rakhi bounds after the locket,slides on the
slippery pool surface and dives headlong into the pool.a splashing sound is heard in the stunned silence."arey koi usey bachao!!!"shrieks shukla.."use tairna nahi aata"...everybody rushes to the pool side .Only to see a single pink plastic nose,floating serenely in the water.
-Alohomora- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 17 December 2008
Posts: 5971

Posted: 05 August 2009 at 4:05am | IP Logged
yo adi2...!!! ..LOL...!!!

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:


psycho_angel IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 April 2009
Posts: 4862

Posted: 05 August 2009 at 4:10am | IP Logged
ff part 6 shukla sir married-the so called fool party continued...

All stare horrified at the nose.mayank closes his eyes and asks "was that game truth or scare?".shukla asks if anyone would save rakhi or not.mappu man comes for the rescue.mayank rips off his dog collar and gives everyone an eyeful of his doley-sholey.phangirl faints.seeing that,sheena flashes her trademark jaw crusher,ear to ear grin.everyone else faints.mayank flexes his arms and preens.sheena batts her eyelashes.shukla grows restless.mayank takes off his trousers and we can see his slimy black C-K shorts.collective mutter of "ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" heard.sheena takes out her mobile and clicks a picture.shukla bellows "mahoday,yeh sab kya ho raha hai?"the phangirls ,irritated at the interruption,plant a heavy foot on shuklas backside and kick him into the pool.mayank realizes he is the only one who knows swimming.he has taken diving and swimming lessons at excel as a part of his curriculum which consists of taking 101 different subjects every without much ado,mayank jumps in too.



-------5days later-----------------


Shukla is curling his remaining hair.rakhi had promised that she would tie braids on them soon,but her current condition incapacitated the moment,she was in the hospital,with a heavily bandaged face,drinking thick tomato soup with a straw passing through a small opening and watching extreme makeovers rerun.shukla was reminiscing the pool party day and watching the video .it was a low quality grainy video.shukla cursed sheena's mob cam.the video featured a harassed mayank dragging shukla out of the pool ,with a reluctant rakhi,clutching her face and the locket,insisting to be left back in the pool.a loud ringing of the phone jarrs shukla from his reverie. "a ji sunte hoooo?" asks the uber nasal voice on the other end.shukla looks scared.he had watched the pool party video.rakhi had threatened everyone with the most painful death in 7days if anyone had dared to watch her nose-off video. Shukla decides its better to pretend not to listen. "hello hello hello??"shukla asks , "humhe koi dhwani sunai nahi de rahi hai...iss path ki sabhi rekhaye vyast hai...kripaya idhar door-dhwani-vartalaap ka kasht naa kare" the nasal voice on the other end cackles "saat din!!sirf saat din" .shukla wished he had been nicer to the children who stole fruits from his garden.he had threatened them with the story of the bhootni that haunted the the bhootni was taking over his life

psycho_angel IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 April 2009
Posts: 4862

Posted: 05 August 2009 at 4:11am | IP Logged
ff part 7 update shukla sir married.shushee in a cave

shukla remembers the bhootni from the movie  "the ring" .she used to kill anyone in possession of copies of the video.shukla decides he must destroy all the copies and the original video before it kills everyone. Sheenas cell was discarded near the farmhouse as it had stopped working after rakhi cursed it.shukla set out at night to find it and delete the video. Rakhi meanwhile,had called sheena and mayank one by one,who were living witnesses to her plight and had pronounced their death sentence.everyone else had been too preoccupied by mayanks slimy pants to notice anything. "7days!!" rakhi hissed in a nasal voice. Mayank had asked if 7 days meant 7 days from the day of the incident and had wondered if public holidays were an exception to the rule.rakhi was still scratching her head over fraaindship day and rakshabandhan and wondering if they were public holidays.she promised to call mayank later and confirm his doomsday.

Meanwhile sheena was in a frenzy.she wanted to look her best when she died,so was busy getting herself a haircut and a new pair of shorts.

Shukla had made a thorough search of the pool and the farmhouse in general,but the cell was still missing.figuring he had nothing to lose,since he was about to die anyways,shukla decided to do a search of the adjacent forest and the cave as well.[im simply putting a cave scene here coz sanu had requested it…see im so kind to my phangurlz?personally iv never seen a farmhouse located near a forest,but anything's possible in PD-land,o-gay?]


So shukla approaches the eerie cave in the darkness,chanting hanuman chalisa in his wake and admires the cave paintings for a while. "I love grils" read one graffiti on the cave wall . someone had scribbled "its not grils,stupid,its girls" below it. A third handwriting had scribbled below it "what about us,grils,then?". A single heart with an arrow in it featured "phangurl lowweees PD".some negative spoiltsport had drawn a rude finger gesture below it.

A sound of shifting feet alerted shukla.he fumbled in the dark,missed a step and fell.

*flashlite shines*.a face,a horrible,misshapen face comes opens its jaws wide and splits into an ear to ear grin.shukla counts teeth as big as the size of a granite.he wonders vaguely how it would feel to have his head crushed in between them.then he wonders if his 7days were over already.

Sheena is ecstatic!"shukla ji aap???" "i was sooo scared!!!" sobs and hiccups sheena,hugging shukla in relief.shukla  starts chanting hanumaan chalisa again.

Shukla is flabbergasted.what on earth was sheena doing here?"mujhe cave mein ghusne se daar nahi lagta.par main yahaan ghusi nahi,mujhe yahaan dhakela gaya" sobs sheena uncontrollably,hiding her face in her hands,her whole body breaking into spasms.for one moment shukla isnt sure whether shes laughing or crying."parantoo mahodaya,aapko is andhkaar gufa mein
kisne nikshep kiya?" sheena mumbles something and points her finger at a distance .shukla peers into the darkness and is unable
to figure out anything. "gunjan" "gunjan" "gunjan"…echoes the mumble.shukla is shocked.

Still unable to explain why gunjan had pushed sheena into the cave,sheena takes out a biscuit from her pocket and starts to eat.shuklas tummy gives out a loud grumble.

Sheena noticing shukla staring at her biscuit, throws one at shukla.shukla eyes it for a while,then turns away. "what?" shrugs sheena quizzically." awastha main bhi hum upeksha ki hui vastu ko hasth nahi lagate" explains shukla.


Scoop for next update: shukla finds out the reason behind gunjan's saazish of throwing sheena into a cave.

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