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Old age homes!!Good/bad?

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Vinzy

IF-Stunnerz

Vinzy

Joined: 03 December 2005

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Posted: 05 August 2009 at 12:01am | IP Logged
Hi....
 
Last week I saw a hindi movie: BHAGBAN..starring Amitabh.
It really showed how the indian family life is getting influenced by factors which one cannot control...a Son /Daughter sends his/her Father/Mother to an old age home cos of their busy life. Whats actuly respect means!!?Old age home culture is part of western culture? People have forgotten the meaning of humanity ?this is the right way to treat our partents and elders?
In nuclear families,they loosing their values, and loosing concern towords elderly peoples...Some situation they feel good cos they can stay at a place where they get company ,given medicine on time,indulge themselfs in some fun according to their own age!
Increasing population of oldies on Kerala roads as old age homes fall short of space 
 
One of the State in india, about 30 lakh people over the age of 60, the largest geriatric percentage in the country, and this figure is expected to go up to 80 lakh over the next 15 years......Confused
------------------
 
Your views and comments about increasing Old-age homes culture!
 
 
ChillSmile
Vinu nair
 


Edited by Believe - 05 August 2009 at 4:07am

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jettythegod

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Posted: 05 August 2009 at 10:39am | IP Logged
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*Woh Ajnabee*

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*Woh Ajnabee*

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Posted: 05 August 2009 at 8:14pm | IP Logged
First off, I absolutely hate the movie Bhagban. Its a horrible movie. And I can't stand Amitabh Bachan singing romantic songs over the phone.

And I am very annoyed at people who leave their parents in old age homes, never to see them again. Of course, sometimes the homes are a nice place for the seniors - gives them company while fulfilling all their needs. So, abandon them - No. But to keep them in an old age home for their own good, I guess is acceptable.

Personally, I would never leave my parents in an old age home. I love them too much to do that.

Fair-n-luvly

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Fair-n-luvly

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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 10:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*

First off, I absolutely hate the movie Bhagban. Its a horrible movie. And I can't stand Amitabh Bachan singing romantic songs over the phone.

And I am very annoyed at people who leave their parents in old age homes, never to see them again. Of course, sometimes the homes are a nice place for the seniors - gives them company while fulfilling all their needs. So, abandon them - No. But to keep them in an old age home for their own good, I guess is acceptable.

Personally, I would never leave my parents in an old age home. I love them too much to do that.
@BoldedROFL
I personally think that sending your parents to old homes is inhuman....I'm a parent...n i strongly protest this inhuman act...kids should understand that there time will also come n what will they do if their kids would do the sameDead
BTW it is being strictly restricted in the UK n now on Prents teacher meeting Grand parents recieve the inviation so that the Government will know who've send their parents to old homes....I hope Including India/Pakistan other countries will so do the sameSmile

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Forever-KA

return_to_hades

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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 11:48am | IP Logged

I think retirement homes have an unnecessarily bad reputation. They were created so that people will have freedom independence in their old age, and not to be a dumping ground. What matters is not whether a person is in a retirement home or not, but why they are there. If someone is just doing it to get rid of their parents then it's wrong. But if someone is genuinely busy and wants a place where parents are cared for and attended to what is wrong with that.

 

Our culture tends to have an inappropriate mindset that retirement homes are wrong and we must look after our parents. Sure, many people are good at heart and want to look after their parents. But, one thing we miss considering is that if we will genuinely be able to give our parents the lifestyle they deserve.

 

How much time are you going to spend at work, and involved in your life, and how much time with your parents? How much time are the kids spending in school, classes, with friends and how much with their grandparents? Is your parent able to go out socialize do stuff like go to the library, visit the temple, meet other elderly at the park to play cards, just shop around a bit, watch a movie or are they bound to your busy schedule and unable to the things they would like to do because you cannot give them a ride and there is no public transport within walking distance? Are they just sitting at home bored, vegetating watching TV or do they have a decent life with activities and socialization?

 

It is really nice to have parents at home, but if you cannot give them the attention and let them be involved in activities and socialize you might be doing more harm than good. Too many people lose interest in living and deteriorate faster because there is nothing going on to keep their mind active, socially healthy and happy.

 

Back in the day having parents at home was the norm, because families were larger. There were always someone or the other at home to care for them. Neighborhoods were close knit and there were people to meet and activities to do right outside the doorstep. Unfortunately, in our modern lives both parents are working and even grandkids out most of the day. Many suburban neighborhoods are aloof, disjointed, with not much going on. So unless you live in a neighborhood where your parents have people to meet and things to do, or unless you and your kids can take significant chunks of time out of your schedule to spend time with your parents you are probably being more cruel than kind to your parents.

 

Its not just a roof on the head, food and clothing people need they need genuine social interaction, activities, hobbies, things to do and people to talk to, places to go. Even when someone is terminally ill and  bedridden or in a wheelchair, a person still has desire to have something going on in their life. When nothing is going on, that's when they lose interest in living.

 

So sometimes it is better to find a reputable retirement home. Good retirement homes and communities have a lot of social activities and things going on for elderly to enjoy. They have staff on hand to check on and care for residents, they offer transit services for getting around. Many people like the feeling that they are independent and do not have to wait for their kids for everything.

 

Why not choose a retirement home close by so your parents have people to look after them and things to do while you are busy with work etc. Call them every night. You can always visit every weekend and plan a family activity together. Have them over for holidays and special events. A retirement home maybe a better option than parents sitting at home being bored to death.

 

I'm not saying everyone should put parents in a retirement home. You just need to really evaluate your options and weigh in on what is best. If you have the time, resources and ability to have your parents live with you and be fully satisfied and happy then that is awesome. Its great when families can be together like that. That's the most ideal situation. But if you really do not have the time a retirement home is a good alternative. However, the most important factor is that you don't just dump them there you keep in touch, visit, care for and give them deserved attention when you can. The worst people are those who keep parents as free day care service and household help.

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.bohemian.-SnehaBeyond_the_VeilFair-n-luvlyVinzy

Gauri_3

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Posted: 06 August 2009 at 9:41pm | IP Logged
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Vinzy

IF-Stunnerz

Vinzy

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Posted: 07 August 2009 at 1:05am | IP Logged

Actualy this is one of the consequences of-- small family, good education n carrier prospacts for children. these take people away from parents and is a batter option than being completely lonely n unattended in last phase of life. So it is fast becoming essential.......Bt relationships bring happines n not the physical facilities. The irony is most of our time in life we run for physical facilities without focusing on relationships...

Every person in that old age home has successes and pains......encyclopedias of life's struggles who have seen and experienced both good and bad in life. They just expect a smile, respect and attachment from the world and not sympathy....
 
I just wanna say......'Mathru devo bhava, Pithru Devo Bhava'...

_Angie_

IF-Rockerz

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Posted: 07 August 2009 at 1:43am | IP Logged
With the increasing life expectancy the old age homes are fast becoming essential esp with small families as the norm & trend of global placements in jobs . Even if children love their parents at times it becomes very difficult to look after them if one is posted elsewhere. Parents may not want to relocate to a new city or country at that age , away from their familiar surroundings & friends. So old age homes seem to be a logical choice.
Moreover,  elderly couple living alone are at risk to attacks & burglaries from anti social elements.
In India we do not have sufficient good quality old homes . We as a society need to accept the changing times & do our best to provide respectable facilities for the elderly in our community. The facility should cater to not only physical & security needs but take care of emotional needs too. We all can contribute in our own ways by visiting these homes once in a while to share a few moments with the inmates there even if they dont happen to be our relatives.

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