more jokes (Page 2)

honeydaisy IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 July 2009
Posts: 4846

Posted: 16 August 2009 at 10:34pm | IP Logged
 All new excuses for calling in sickConfused
Think carefully, if you're debating calling in sick, here are some of the
 most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work.
*  I was sprayed by a skunk.
*  I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious. 
*  My bus broke down and was held up by robbers. 
*  I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.
*  I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
*  I couldn't find my shoes. 
*  I hurt myself bowling. 
*  I was spit on by a venomous snake. 
*  I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow. 
*  A hitman was looking for me. 
*  My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser. 
*  I eloped. 
*  My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
*  My cat unplugged my alarm clock. 
*  I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial. 
*  I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
*  I forgot what day of the week it was.
*  Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:


-Dreamy_Girl- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 19 February 2008
Posts: 11176

Posted: 19 August 2009 at 11:39pm | IP Logged
Thanks for sharing these jokes.........
I kept on laughing....... Its very funny......
-LilyGurl- IF-Rockerz

Joined: 15 June 2009
Posts: 5518

Posted: 26 August 2009 at 12:46am | IP Logged
ROFL thnx they cracked me up
forever12 Newbie

Joined: 25 July 2009
Posts: 40

Posted: 28 August 2009 at 9:32pm | IP Logged
thanks 4 sharing!!
honeydaisy IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 July 2009
Posts: 4846

Posted: 29 August 2009 at 11:42pm | IP Logged
*Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails** .. *
    I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also.   Because of your kindness:_*   * I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.   * Stopped eating noodles as they cause cancer.   * I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.   * Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LEPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc..   * I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...   * I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.   * I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo.   * I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.   * When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.   * I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)   * Still open to help somebody from Bulgaria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.   * Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh , Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)_   IMPORTANT NOTE_: If you do not copy this joke and e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will P on your head today at 6:30pm.  

Nothing has happened till now.....................but who knows.

SRK-ian Senior Member

Joined: 22 November 2007
Posts: 639

Posted: 06 September 2009 at 8:47pm | IP Logged
good ones! ROFL
-mango- IF-Dazzler

Joined: 02 January 2007
Posts: 3531

Posted: 09 September 2009 at 1:35pm | IP Logged
Jimmy's teacher sent a note home to his mother, saying : 'Jimmy seems to be a very bright boy, but spends too much of his time thinking about girls.'
The mother wrote back the next day : 'If you find a solution, please advise. I have the same problem with his father!'ROFL ROFLROFL /\/\ Love this one the most!
angeleyesz Senior Member

Joined: 13 May 2008
Posts: 529

Posted: 09 September 2009 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
hahah.. these ones are awesome tooo :D

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