Chhoti Bahu - Sawar Ke Rang Rachi
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FF- A Silent Song (Pt 55; Pg56 on Sep 13) (Page 5)

gauranitai Goldie
gauranitai
gauranitai

Joined: 23 June 2009
Posts: 1693

Posted: 03 August 2009 at 4:55pm | IP Logged
Great update and Deepika is not annoying(Yay)
sanafsha Senior Member
sanafsha
sanafsha

Joined: 06 April 2009
Posts: 380

Posted: 03 August 2009 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
very nice... deepika and keshav??? nice twist.. lets see how it goes.. story going great.. do update.. thanks alot... =)
blokes Goldie
blokes
blokes

Joined: 26 May 2009
Posts: 2436

Posted: 03 August 2009 at 9:41pm | IP Logged
gauranitai: Yes, I liked Deepika's sunny disposition, unfortunately "overblown"- if tempered down she can be extremely charming and her very naivity can be attractive to some men- and she certainly should not be wasted on a leacher like Arjun!

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radev24

blokes Goldie
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blokes

Joined: 26 May 2009
Posts: 2436

Posted: 03 August 2009 at 9:44pm | IP Logged
sanafsha- thanx. yeah, i liked these 2 characters and felt they were under represented in the actual serial. there is so much potential in "secondary" characters and CB story writers have not used them wisely. They focused too much on the main story of Dev and rads and messed that up with missing the timing totally- the truth about the wedding should have come out in June thru nandu.

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radev24

aviaanya Senior Member
aviaanya
aviaanya

Joined: 31 July 2009
Posts: 568

Posted: 03 August 2009 at 10:10pm | IP Logged
I luv your story cant wait to see what happens next. What does Dev do when he find out he's a dad? 
blokes Goldie
blokes
blokes

Joined: 26 May 2009
Posts: 2436

Posted: 03 August 2009 at 10:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by aviaanya

I luv your story cant wait to see what happens next. What does Dev do when he find out he's a dad?
thanx aviaanya- but then do u think he will know? Who will tell him? wait and read- I will update soon.

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radev24

radev24 IF-Sizzlerz
radev24
radev24

Joined: 28 June 2009
Posts: 21388

Posted: 04 August 2009 at 1:09am | IP Logged
 
Hey, ab ja ke I read ALL the parts...... in two words ..... amazing and Vrushali's manifique  !!  Your "first" attempt as a fiction writer should be replaced with "seasoned" writer..... rem ? no need to be modest, esp when we can clearly see the extent to which you can go all out, in redefining the characters of Keshav, Ritu, Deepaka, Vishakha..... last but not the least our most beloved  Dev.... Even though I agree when you said earlier how too much focus and attention in CB is given to RaDev, and consequently others are relegated to mere "secondary"  position...... (paraphrasing !!)
 
Part 7, paving the way for Keshav and "sunny disposition" of Deepika to get closer..... and that her "naivete' should not be wasted on a leecher, parasite like Arjun" .....
 
Part 6, I cant help but have to quote your words  ...... and  you know I mean it when I say that if Oprah herself had read these words, your book called "A Silent Song"  (well, what a title.... hats off !!) would be a definite part of her "Book Club"......  here goes......
 
 
She had sat curled along him while he played with her hair, twirling it with his fingers and smoothing it. Then he had turned to brush it past her face to find her ear with his lips and had ended up kissing her. One thing led to the next and then they had just dissolved into one another resulting in this precious being........ 
 
Frankly, when I read it 1st time, say half hour ago, mujhe vishwas nahin hua, and I muttered silently in my own mind..... can even a good writer write like this ???? Girl, I mean, to be able to pick just the right words, esp when one has to put  those feelings down in a written format, when he played with and twirled her hair with his fingers..... too tomantic and inviting for words.......  
 
Since I always wanted Psychology major back in b'bay because of my utmost fascination with the subject, I see in your writing that you too have that bent of mind  big time when analyzing all these different characters...... (ek side business shuru kar do in San Jose, as we all know how lucrative it can be with all kinds of "environMENTAL" people around  !! )
 
 
Part 5, these words.... just too good for words..... But she would do anything for her child, their child. This child created by love that last night, the night before Dev left for India: A precious gift, just for her.....
Well, in short, my "naive analysis"  of our author here is...... what direction you would have wanted the directors to take....  i.e. one big example that the wedding should have taken place in June itself with nandu's help.....coz that's what you would have done if you were one of the creative creatives..... !!!  And we as your fan club, would have supported your creativity 100% .....  In which case you probably would have had the baby in July ....
 
Which brings up my point whether Part 8 of your story is going to have any revelation...... will dev even know about the baby ?  And as you say.... who will tell him ?? Isn't Matt the only person who knows about the two of them, other than Marta and people at the shelter ?!?!  Do correct me if I'm wrong !!
 
Please continue....r u planning to have recaps like actual CB too..... never too late !!  Especially knowing how mercilessly they have been removing / altering it almost every chance they get.... trp or no trp ratings !!!
 
 
My 2c !
 
 
~ P ~
 
 
_____________________
Life is beautiful !!!!!
 
 

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radhika5

blokes Goldie
blokes
blokes

Joined: 26 May 2009
Posts: 2436

Posted: 04 August 2009 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
radev! Hug for that detailed analysis. I am not being modest- I have never tried fiction before- this is an entirely different experience. I am so glad that u r enjoying it. I have written 3 more parts will post them one a day- I have it all in my head planned for about 50 parts. Am not too sure if I would like to "stretch" it to 100 and lose the core plot.
I have been a great appreciator of literature- reading other people's writing. I thank the creatives of CB to have inspired me to try my hand at writing. I really wish they took the role of writing seriously- they have a fantastic cast, an interesting core plot. Unfortunately they r floundering as they went to extremes- all this tarpan business and today, jal samadhi- totally foolish extremes- they lose their punch when used too often. dramatic twists like that are useful when used sparingly.

otherwise it is like the boy who cried wolf too often and then when the wolf is indeed at the door, it destroys.

I hope Indian writers find their voice in the Indian context. We find some great writers in regional languages (but not in recent times). Unfortunately when we start thinking in a different language that does not have the ability to translate what you experience in life, which has just the right words, we get stuck.

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radhika5radev24

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