Part 6:
She had started to show. As she rode her bike up the slope, she realized that she had to seriously consider getting a car. Her friend Marta, who was an environmental (more "mental") freak and insisted on having the lowest possible carbon footprint, biked everywhere, even with her 6 month old in tow. Ritu was not too sure if she wanted to continue biking even after the baby was born.
The people at the shelter were thrilled about her having a baby. One of the women had already knitted everything from tiny booties to caps and mittens in every possible hue and shape. Yet another had crocheted some baby blankets while a group had gotten together to make a memorable quilt for their beloved Ritz' baby.
Women gave her advice of putting her feet up during the day while she met with them. They insisted that she napped in the afternoons while they kept their children from making a noise. The entire shelter was awaiting Ritz' baby, a baby whose birth will be surrounded only by joy. No sorrow. No abuse.
Janet came into her room and asked Ritu how she was doing that day. Ritu said, "All is well. Whoa, the baby just moved!"
"Have you told the father yet? asked Janet.
"No. Not yet. I don't know how to tell him this amazing news. He is married to someone else, you see, and I do not want to bring any kind of rift in his new relationship. This baby is mine, my parting gift from him."
"Ritz, I know it may sound strange coming from me. I don't trust any man. But, I think you need to pick that phone up and call him today and tell him that he is going to be a dad. You do not have to do this all by yourself, honey."
Ritu looked softly into Janet's eyes and smiled. " I shall certainly consider what you say. Now shall we get on with our session?"
As she biked down the road, she was almost run over by a speeding car that had not stopped on a red. She seriously had to consider getting a car. She did not want her precious baby to be exposed to any of these dangers, if she had any say in it.
The days were getting longer. It was light when she got back to her studio. She had not bought anything for the baby. The women at the shelter were planning on outfitting her, with every possible baby stuff, they could lay their hands on. She had to refuse the offer knowing that her studio apartment was way too cramped for another person, let alone a baby and all its things.
She dreamed of Dev again that night. It was a beautiful one with them having a picnic under the Golden Gate Bridge, walking along the rocky shore and looking at the turns flying low, looking for fish. They built pillars of pebbles with the flat stones found on the coast. The bright orange bridge loomed over them like a heavenly arc, delicately poised over their heads to protect them.
The baby moved waking her up and she had to visit the bathroom again. She couldn't bear these frequent restroom breaks that had begun this past week. She chronicled in her journal about the changes in her this week and what the baby was doing in her tummy.
She marveled at the miracle that the baby was. Though Dev and she had been together for 4 years, they had never taken their relationship to that level of intimacy until that last night, the night he had come over to say bye to her before he took the midnight flight out of San Francisco.
They had had dinner and had sat down together talking about getting married when he returned. They had both loved the small house along the Pacific Coast near Half Moon Bay and were planning on putting a down payment on his return.
She had sat curled along him while he played with her hair, twirling it with his fingers and smoothing it. Then he had turned to brush it past her face to find her ear with his lips and had ended up kissing her. One thing let to the next and then they had just dissolved into one another resulting in this precious being.
She wished her mom were still alive to share this beautiful time with her. The night her parents had died in a car crash, she was staying with friends, having a sleep over. She had been 12. They were returning from a show and a drunk driver had crashed into them on the highway.
Dad had been a modestly successful musician who played with his band at nightclubs, fairs and farmers' markets. Mom had worked as a secretary in a big company and had benefits.
Emma's mother had been her support since then. Right through high school, she had treated Ritu like her second daughter and helped her through her first crush and first heartbreak. When Ritu had turned 18, they had to move to Maine and Ritu had decided to stay back in Berkeley. They had found her a tiny studio and with the inheritance money, she was able to afford it along with her part time job at a local boutique.
She had won a scholarship to UC Berkeley and then her life had changed for the better the day she had met Dev on the steps down from the Women's Faculty Club.
Emma had graduated from Harvard and gone on to Oxford, England for her Masters. She called Ritu every weekend and they caught up with each other. She was excited about the baby and had already decided that she will be the baby's godmother. She had never met Dev, nor seen a photograph of him. She had spoken with him several times over the phone.
Ritu realized that in the 4 years dev and she had been together, they had never bothered to take photographs with each other. They had taken each occasion and moment they were together as the most important time of their lives and had never bothered to record it. The camera would have been too invasive- almost like a voyeur. She wondered if she should check with Matt and ask him if he had a photo of Dev as she would like their child to know how his/her dad looked.
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