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Mere Saathi(RN)-Pt.25,pg.144(17/01) (Page 6)

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prerna1

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prerna1

Joined: 16 April 2008

Posts: 14215

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 12:37pm | IP Logged
that was too good
loved it completely especially vo Navin ki dead body vali baat in this fic he will be alive na so sweet
plz continue soon

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sweet_shona

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sweet_shona

Joined: 29 July 2008

Posts: 269

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 1:03pm | IP Logged
nice character sketch... but seems like theres a twist abt navin's damaged face ......
n nice prologue.... poor naina... how much she will hv to face in her life...first her brother...n now her beloved mentor..her rajveer sir....!!!...
nice start... waiting for the next part...

Sweet-Lioness

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Sweet-Lioness

Joined: 03 September 2008

Posts: 9009

Posted: 29 July 2009 at 12:07am | IP Logged
veri nyc charachter sketch...Clap Clap Clap Clap
 
chalo kuch doubts toh tumne clear kar hi diya hai ki...Naveen zinda hai...Big smile!!! mera matlab hai ki face agar damaged hai toh 150% chances hain naveen k zinda hone ki...Big smile!!! yeh achha hua...Clap!!! kisi fic me toh naveen zinda hai...Big smile!!! varna hum toh sabhi use maarne k chakkar me hi rahte hain. Cry


Edited by srojaleen - 29 July 2009 at 12:21am

Mahak Sinha

IF-Sizzlerz

Mahak Sinha

Joined: 16 April 2008

Posts: 20671

Posted: 29 July 2009 at 2:28am | IP Logged
Hey awesome start dear,Clap Clap Clap
Loved the way u portrayed Naina's grief n pain when she lost Rajveer n her feelings.Smile Smile Smile Everything is shattered and she has lost herself too in this.Cry Cry Cry She couldn't react as she was in a g8 shock Ouch Ouch Ouch n only Abhi knew how to bring her out from that dreadful shock.Cry Cry Cry
Update soon dear.



Edited by Mahak Sinha - 29 July 2009 at 2:33am

Revolutionbreez

IF-Dazzler

Revolutionbreez

Joined: 08 March 2009

Posts: 3926

Posted: 29 July 2009 at 3:35am | IP Logged

e



Edited by manatated - 29 July 2009 at 3:41am

Revolutionbreez

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Revolutionbreez

Joined: 08 March 2009

Posts: 3926

Posted: 29 July 2009 at 3:37am | IP Logged
NOTE:
heya guys.....
hope you all are doing fine.. I recently came to know about the multiple PM feature on IF...
 
So if you would like to be informed through a PM when I update, please send me the buddy request...so that i'll be able 2 inform u without fail.... 

take care,
manatatedSmile

Revolutionbreez

IF-Dazzler

Revolutionbreez

Joined: 08 March 2009

Posts: 3926

Posted: 29 July 2009 at 9:48am | IP Logged

Hi guys! here i'm with my fic.In the beginning story may sound as in parts...as if disconnected.... but will be even and sorted as it progresses. Please read the 'NOTE' on page 4. Guyz some of u were not able to open pg.5....so posting on pg.6 again....Smile

 
PROLOGUE :

Cadets rush to the site of ambush to save their Mentor,their Captain Rajveer.But return with Naina in shock,Huda in critical condition,and each one of them having heart wrenching site of burning jeep of capt.Rajveer imprinted in their minds....A visual.....

They can never forget all their lives!A visual that is going to haunt them for their lives.

 
A visual...... that is cruel fact of Naina's life....death of her brother's best friend,her mentor,her support,her guardian,Her Best friend,Her LOVE,Her LIFE...........
 
"Mai taa jeeya na maraa...

haaye we dasso main kee karaa.

Dil mile bina hi tut gaye,

Hath jude bina hi chutt gaye

kee likhe ni lekh kismat ne..."

 
( She remembers first time she met Rajveer,First time when she shook hands with him when he assured her that his secret is safe with him.All the wonderful moments they spent together flashed in front of her)
 
Naina couldnt face death of her rajveer sir and went in shock.She sat there, her face leaned against the cold stony wall...
 
 
When Shalini came to check her she didn't respond.....Neither when she caressed her hair lovingly....She dint blink for 48 hrs,the depth of her grief couldnt be imagined.....
 
 
Captain Abhimanyu after lot of efforts made react cry by calling her brother and her mentor a traitor.
 
" Kaisa lag raha hai Naina? tumhe pata hai tumhare bhaai se bhi yahi sawaal poocha gaya tha?", Abhi had asked.

when she didn't respond, he continued...

" Kamaal ki baat yeh hai ki usske paas bhi koi jawaab nahi tha....", said Abhi trying to be sarcastic.

" Waise galati tumhari nahi hai...aksar gaddaro ke paas aise sawaalon ke jawaab nahi hote...", he said fiddling with the gun.

" Waise iskeliye toh tumhe kaafi achchi training mil gayi hogi naa? Hain naa? I mean tumhare saare apne.....sab issi raaste par toh chale hai..."

It stabbed him million times to utter further...But he had to do this for her sake. Hardening his expressions and keeping his tone as accusatory as possible, Abhi added,

" Tumhara bhaai....GADDAR....!!"

Naina's face started hardening.....

" Aur tumhara Mentor...", Abhi continued sarcasm and mock evident in his voice, " Tumhare BELOVED..... Captain Rajveer singh Shekhavat, a BLOODY MURDERER !!"

Naina turned to him fiercely....her eyes burning with anger....

" Kitne khoon kiye unhone? Do? atleast Do ke baare mein toh hum jaante hai....ek senior officer ke sarr pe bandook taanke, bhari dopahar, a cold blooded murder! Aur uske pehle waala khoon?"

Naina was shivering with fury....

" Captain Naveen singh Ahluwalia kaa khoon? Koi kaise apni dost ki chaati pe bandook rakh sakta hai? kaise? kaise trigger daba sakta hai? Ek baar..do baar...TEEN BAAR..!!"

Her eyes welled up....

" Dard hua hoga na Naveen ko? did he enjoyed it??? Hum aapke maa baap ko phone karna chahate hai aur badhaai dena chahate hai, Badhaai ho Mr. & Mrs. Ahluwalia... aapki beti bhi ussi raaste pe chalna chahti hai,jispar aapka beta chala tha... aapka beta bhi gaddar tha aur aapki beti bhi...."

Naina couldn't take more.... she snatched the gun from abhimanyu and pointed it at his temple....

" Mera bhaai gaddar nahi tha..." , she said shivering with fury...

 
Abhi looked upto her...his eyes full of tears....this was what he wanted...he wanted her to react ....to get out of her shock....
 
Naina slowly lowered her hand and dropped the gun. Abhi wanted to comfort her.....but couldn't.....he just wiped his tears and left.

 

The Heart wrenching cry of Naina that night was heard by every nook and corner,every tree,leaf,flower,by every person of KMA.

 
"Baar baar rod aakhiyan ,tenu jo naa vekh sakhiya

Kee likha ye yaar kudrat ne...

katta mein kee we din,teri saun tere bin...

Main to jeeya naa mara..."

 
Every purpose of her mere existence seemed to be finished for her.This World no more mattered.As if there was nothing left for her in this world.
 
"Chann se jo tute koi sapnaa..

jag soona soona laage

jag soona soona laage

koi rahe naa jab apna.

Jag soona soona hai toh

ye kyun hota hai

jab yeh dil rota hai

roye sisak sisak ke hawayein

jag soona laage chann se jo tute koi sapnaa."

 
She once thought of quitting army....But.... after lot of persuasion from her parents,friends and Captain Abhimanyu,she stayed.

All the cadets were sent to detention centre where they were left to wrath of Major Bharghav.

Naina once attempted of comitting suicide.....

 But the lines written by Naveen,while he was kept in solitary confinement there, prevented her from doing so.
 
********************************************
frenz this was the prologue....waiting 4 ur comments....Smile
One more things....since multiple PM option is available to one's in the buddy list , add me to urs so that i can pm u without fail.... mujhse ho nahi raha hai....when i tried to add you, i was facing an error....so pz try, if you can add me to urs and den i can pm u without fail...Smile

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varshita

Goldie

varshita

Joined: 01 September 2008

Posts: 2001

Posted: 30 July 2009 at 1:50am | IP Logged
Hey good that u updated the fic.Smile
Nice first part n i know it will take a sweet turn after that.Tongue
I really liked the concept that u shown Naveen's dead body fully burnt so may be he is still alive.Wink
continue asap.



Edited by varshita - 30 July 2009 at 1:52am

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