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Mere Saathi(RN)-Pt.25,pg.144(17/01) (Page 5)

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Revolutionbreez

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Revolutionbreez

Joined: 08 March 2009

Posts: 3919

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 5:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mahak Sinha

Thanks mam if i encouraged u to write the fic.Wink Wink Wink
But dear now u must start it na, ab Priya ne aarti bhi utaar li hai to kis baat ka wait hai.LOL LOL LOL
U have already posted the character sketch na so pls start updating it too.

Aree yaar , was about to put up the prologue....Internet problem....well check it out now...Smile

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Revolutionbreez

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Revolutionbreez

Joined: 08 March 2009

Posts: 3919

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 6:05am | IP Logged

Hi guys! here i'm with my fic.In the beginning story may sound as in parts...as if disconnected.... but will be even and sorted as it progresses. Please read the 'NOTE' on page 4.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
PROLOGUE :

Cadets rush to the site of ambush to save their Mentor,their Captain Rajveer.But return with Naina in shock,Huda in critical condition,and each one of them having heart wrenching site of burning jeep of capt.Rajveer imprinted in their minds....A visual.....

They can never forget all their lives!A visual that is going to haunt them for their lives.

 
A visual...... that is cruel fact of Naina's life....death of her brother's best friend,her mentor,her support,her guardian,Her Best friend,Her LOVE,Her LIFE...........
 
"Mai taa jeeya na maraa...

haaye we dasso main kee karaa.

Dil mile bina hi tut gaye,

Hath jude bina hi chutt gaye

kee likhe ni lekh kismat ne..."

 
( She remembers first time she met Rajveer,First time when she shook hands with him when he assured her that his secret is safe with him.All the wonderful moments they spent together flashed in front of her)
 
Naina couldnt face death of her rajveer sir and went in shock.She sat there, her face leaned against the cold stony wall...
 
 
When Shalini came to check her she didn't respond.....Neither when she caressed her hair lovingly....She dint blink for 48 hrs,the depth of her grief couldnt be imagined.....
 
 
Captain Abhimanyu after lot of efforts made react cry by calling her brother and her mentor a traitor.
 
" Kaisa lag raha hai Naina? tumhe pata hai tumhare bhaai se bhi yahi sawaal poocha gaya tha?", Abhi had asked.

when she didn't respond, he continued...

" Kamaal ki baat yeh hai ki usske paas bhi koi jawaab nahi tha....", said Abhi trying to be sarcastic.

" Waise galati tumhari nahi hai...aksar gaddaro ke paas aise sawaalon ke jawaab nahi hote...", he said fiddling with the gun.

" Waise iskeliye toh tumhe kaafi achchi training mil gayi hogi naa? Hain naa? I mean tumhare saare apne.....sab issi raaste par toh chale hai..."

It stabbed him million times to utter further...But he had to do this for her sake. Hardening his expressions and keeping his tone as accusatory as possible, Abhi added,

" Tumhara bhaai....GADDAR....!!"

Naina's face started hardening.....

" Aur tumhara Mentor...", Abhi continued sarcasm and mock evident in his voice, " Tumhare BELOVED..... Captain Rajveer singh Shekhavat, a BLOODY MURDERER !!"

Naina turned to him fiercely....her eyes burning with anger....

" Kitne khoon kiye unhone? Do? atleast Do ke baare mein toh hum jaante hai....ek senior officer ke sarr pe bandook taanke, bhari dopahar, a cold blooded murder! Aur uske pehle waala khoon?"

Naina was shivering with fury....

" Captain Naveen singh Ahluwalia kaa khoon? Koi kaise apni dost ki chaati pe bandook rakh sakta hai? kaise? kaise trigger daba sakta hai? Ek baar..do baar...TEEN BAAR..!!"

Her eyes welled up....

" Dard hua hoga na Naveen ko? did he enjoyed it??? Hum aapke maa baap ko phone karna chahate hai aur badhaai dena chahate hai, Badhaai ho Mr. & Mrs. Ahluwalia... aapki beti bhi ussi raaste pe chalna chahti hai,jispar aapka beta chala tha... aapka beta bhi gaddar tha aur aapki beti bhi...."

Naina couldn't take more.... she snatched the gun from abhimanyu and pointed it at his temple....

" Mera bhaai gaddar nahi tha..." , she said shivering with fury...

 
Abhi looked upto her...his eyes full of tears....this was what he wanted...he wanted her to react ....to get out of her shock....
 
Naina slowly lowered her hand and dropped the gun. Abhi wanted to comfort her.....but couldn't.....he just wiped his tears and left.

 

The Heart wrenching cry of Naina that night was heard by every nook and corner,every tree,leaf,flower,by every person of KMA.

 
"Baar baar rod aakhiyan ,tenu jo naa vekh sakhiya

Kee likha ye yaar kudrat ne...

katta mein kee we din,teri saun tere bin...

Main to jeeya naa mara..."

 
Every purpose of her mere existence seemed to be finished for her.This World no more mattered.As if there was nothing left for her in this world.
 
"Chann se jo tute koi sapnaa..

jag soona soona laage

jag soona soona laage

koi rahe naa jab apna.

Jag soona soona hai toh

ye kyun hota hai

jab yeh dil rota hai

roye sisak sisak ke hawayein

jag soona laage chann se jo tute koi sapnaa."

 
She once thought of quitting army....But.... after lot of persuasion from her parents,friends and Captain Abhimanyu,she stayed.

All the cadets were sent to detention centre where they were left to wrath of Major Bharghav.

Naina once attempted of comitting suicide.....

 But the lines written by Naveen,while he was kept in solitary confinement there, prevented her from doing so.
 
********************************************
frenz this was the prologue....waiting 4 ur comments....Smile
One more things....since multiple PM option is available to one's in the buddy list , add me to urs so that i can pm u without fail.... mujhse ho nahi raha hai....when i tried to add you, i was facing an error....so pz try, if you can add me to urs and den i can pm u without fail...Smile
 


Edited by Revolutionbreez - 02 May 2010 at 2:10am

The following 10 member(s) liked the above post:

candyflosssimron...sweet.dreamzTheSunShinestarasdfPrincessFlaviaXoxowpdXoxobackyMahak Sinha-.Aphrodite.-

Shaina_b

IF-Stunnerz

Shaina_b

Joined: 13 July 2007

Posts: 32372

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 6:13am | IP Logged

Too good!!!!!!Awesome!!!!!!

I loved the way you portrayed Naina's grief and pain when she lost Rajveer!!!!!Clap Clap Clap Clap

The song is very nice and just perfect for the situation!!!!!!!Smile Smile Smile Smile

Naina is remembering all the beautiful moments spent with Raj!!!!!!Smile Smile Smile Smile Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed Embarrassed

Everything is shattered and Naina has lost herslf in this!!!!!!Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry Cry

She couldn't react as she was in a great shock!!!!!Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch

Abhimanyu got her out of her shock made her cry by calling Raj and Navin a traitor!!!!!Ouch Ouch Ouch Ouch

Naina once attempted of commiting suicide but the lines written by Navin prevented her from doing so!!!!!!!!Smile Smile Smile Smile


 



Edited by Shaina_b - 02 August 2009 at 9:27pm

varshita

Goldie

varshita

Joined: 01 September 2008

Posts: 1987

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 6:16am | IP Logged
ok so u r going to start a fic which has been already posted here n ur going to continue it just too good idea.
continue asap.

rituka7

IF-Dazzler

rituka7

Joined: 06 August 2007

Posts: 4201

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 7:32am | IP Logged
damn cool
]awesome
superb
update soon

Sumi_162710

IF-Rockerz

Sumi_162710

Joined: 14 September 2008

Posts: 6229

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 7:40am | IP Logged
Prologue was nice. Cud feel the pain of Raj's death again (it may hurt but u did a gr8 job). And u portrayed Naina's agony really well. Pls continue soon n Thnx 4 the PM.

hinal60

Senior Member

hinal60

Joined: 15 May 2006

Posts: 484

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 11:25am | IP Logged
that was a wonderful prolouge
i hope we get to see both rajveer and naveen soon


Edited by hinal60 - 28 July 2009 at 11:26am

Krishna_Sourav

IF-Addictz

Krishna_Sourav

Joined: 04 March 2009

Posts: 56451

Posted: 28 July 2009 at 11:59am | IP Logged
Very nice character sketch and prologueClap.Very very wonderful start.
Keep it up dear.

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