So that whole break thing really didn't work out so well...I got into this idea that was inspired by an western soap opera, but anyways! 😛 I got a few ppl to edit it but the reaction from Nonee is really what made me post it...😳 (she knows why!😛) Enjoy!😃
She was in pain and there was nothing she could do about it. As her eyes slowly opened she saw herself connected to tons of wires and felt the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. Instinctively her hand went up to the mask and she tried to pry it off until someone's hand caught her own and she looked up and into her best friend's crying eyes. Why was Arushi crying? What was wrong? She couldn't help but show the curiosity in her eyes until she saw her aunt on the other side of the room.
"Let her take the mask off Arushi. We need to talk to her."
Arushi sighed as she pulled the mask away from her face. "What's going on Vidya Masi?" she asked instantly.
"Meera, what do you remember last?" Her Masi asked.
Meera creased her forehead as she tried hard to think. "I--I was at Anshul's house and we were talking until I...I felt cramps and they were hurting and my bab--Masi? What happened? Is--my baby?"
Vidya shook her head. "Meera...you were never pregnant." She sighed before continuing. "The home pregnancy test indicated a false positive. I'm sorry."
"But then why was it paining?" Meera ask trying to ignore the tears forming in her eyes. Even if she never was pregnant she was still feeling a sense of loss. A loss of the child she wasn't carrying, a loss of the one person that made her feel complete, her husband.
Misunderstandings and lies had come up into their marriage and they had gotten so extreme that her father had picked her up from her house and taken her away from her husband. She didn't know why but at that time the decision felt right. Now however she could feel how light her left hand felt without his ring on it. She felt incomplete without it; just like she did without him. He had told her he was leaving the city and she had done nothing to stop him and now that she was in the hospital and saw the fear in her masi's eyes she knew there was something wrong with her and so she wanted him with her. He was the only one who could be here with her and give her confidence.
"Meera, it was paining because, there's a tumor down there and this was our way of finding out," Vidya started to explain.
Meera silently listened to her masi explaining how she had a malignant tumor in her stomach that they predicted was now spreading to her other organs. All the emotion had left Meera's face as she felt Arushi squeeze her hand.
Meera slowly turned and saw tears falling from her eyes. Meera smiled at that moment, confusing both Arushi and Vidya.
"Why...why are you smiling?" Arushi asked.
"Its karma isn't it?" Meera shook her head. "After everything that happened between me and...Between us, this was meant to happen."
"No Meera, don't say that," Vidya said quickly. "We've already booked you in for surgery tomorrow morning. Until then we just want you to rest sweetheart," Vidya bent down and kissed her forehead. "I'll be right outside if you need me. Your dad and Anshul want to know about everything,"
Meera nodded slowly. "Go ahead."
Vidya left the room and Meera turned to face Arushi who was deliberately avoiding her eyes.
"Arushi, I don't wanna..."
"You won't Meera. Don't even think it," Arushi finally smiled. "I promise we'll all help you through it. Is there anything you need right now?"
Meera smiled. She wanted to say his name so bad but she knew she shouldn't. Everyone was upset with him for what he did to her. Even if their relationship had problems she hadn't wanted THIS to happen and now she had no control over the situation. She shook her head. "Nothing."
"Are you sure Meera? You looked like you wanted to say something?" Arushi asked. "I can have Adi bring you some DVD's or something?"
Meera shook her head again as she bit down on her bottom lip. "Don't worry about it."
Arushi smiled again as she closed the door behind her. Meera sighed as she pulled herself up on the bed. She had to call him...he needed to know what was going on. He needed to know that if her cancer had spread, she might not be around anymore.
She looked in the drawer next to her and saw her cell phone sitting there. She quickly reached over as far as the wires would let her and grasped her phone. Her fingers trembled as they made contact with the phone. She clutched the phone desperately as ring after ring went. Why wasn't he answering?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Meera Her name flashed on his phone numerous times but the courage to answer it had left him. He couldn't cause her anymore pain now. She was free. He'd leave the city in a matter of minutes and never turn back to see her.
He slowly pressed the red button on his phone before leaning his head down in his hands. He couldn't bear to hear her voice after all the pain they had gone through. She deserved much better than him and she'd get that as soon as he was out of her life.
After a few more minutes another name flashed on his screen and he looked startled. Anshul Anshul had been more upset with him than Meera had been. He couldn't imagine why he'd be calling him unless it was Meera trying to reach him using Anshul's number. Hesitatingly he lifted the phone to his ear after pressing the green button. "Hello?"
"You need to get to City Hospital now." Anshul said.
"Anshul? What--who?" He had asked who but deep down he knew. It had to be her. Otherwise there was no way he'd been delaying his trip out of the city. A feeling in his stomach was telling him there was something left incomplete. Now he knew.
"Meera."
He ended the call and grabbed his car keys before heading out of the bus terminal.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"No Masi, I don't want anything. The only thing I want is for everyone to leave me alone," Meera said loudly. "I can't handle this pity anymore. I know I might die but that doesn't mean I need everyone's sympathy right now. Look, I love you all but I can't take this right now."
"Beta," Her father, Sunil started.
"No dad. I'm sorry. Not right now." Meera shook her head and turned the other way.
Slowly Sunil, Vidya, Anshul and Arushi left the hospital room leaving the girl they loved in pain. They all knew that these were the moments they should spend together but once she was adamant they didn't want to stress her anymore than she probably already was.
Once they left her room she sighed to herself and looked down at the phone she was holding. She began reading all the old texts she had sent him and the ones he sent back. It brought a smile on her face to know that she had loved him so much and had gotten that love back in the same way; at least until all the problems started cropping up. One thing was for sure though, she thought as she went through their pictures. Their love wouldn't die so easily, even if she wasn't around to help it grow.
Her door creaked open and she kept her eyes on her phone even if her heart gave a little jump at the sound. "Please go away. I don't want to talk to anyone right now."
"Not even me?"
Her eyes closed and her fingers clenched around the phone as if she was savouring the moment. She had to be imagining his voice. He had left the city. He had told her that. He had promised never to come back. Could it actually be him?
"It's really me sweetheart," His hand touched her cheek and she gasped. He couldn't be here. "You can open your eyes." He urged softly.
Meera's eyes closed tighter as she desperately held onto the moment. If it was just a dream she couldn't let him go. He couldn't leave her from here as well. "Pr--Prem?" she uttered.
"It's me," He slowly cupped her hands and even though her eyes were closed she smiled as she felt his lips descend onto her forehead. He was real. He was actually there with her when she needed him the most.
"Prem?" Her eyes opened and he was sitting exactly 2 feet away from her. Without caring for anything she threw her arms around his neck and could feel his arms close around her back.
"Ssh.....I'm here now," He smoothed her hair down as she whimpered into the curve of his neck. She was so vulnerable right now that his heart ached. He had never wanted her to be in pain let alone this much pain. The fact that he could do nothing to help her ate away at him. She was the love of his life and he had to watch her so helpless and vulnerable.
"Prem--I'm so sorry." She blubbered.
"What are you sorry for?" He pulled her away from him and tucked her hair behind her ears as he held her face in his hands. "I'm sorry that I wasn't here sooner. I'm sorry I didn't answer your call. I'm sorry I even said I'd leave in the first place. I'm just so so sorry Meera,"
Meera shook her head as she hugged him again. She couldn't
believe he was here. He had come back just when she needed him the most and now
she had gained the courage to face any problems head on. If the cancer had
spread he'd be here with her every step of the way to help her through it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey, you're out of surgery," Meera sighed as she felt a hand on her forehead. It felt protective and instantly she knew it was his. He was with her. He was back for good. She let her eyes open and saw his face smiling down at her. But his eyes, there was no sparkle left; they weren't the happy eyes she wanted to see, there was too much sadness.
"Prem, what happened?" she gasped for breath, still full of exhaustion from the surgery.
"You had the surgery a little while ago." He told her.
Meera shook her head. "I know that, but something's wrong. Tell me."
Prem turned to look at Anshul standing near the back of the room and Anshul nodded. "Meera, it's already spread. They removed the tumor from your stomach but it's already in your liver now."
Meera bit her lip before shaking her head. "So that's it? I'm going to die? How long do I have."
"Ssh!" He slowly put his hand over her mouth. "Don't talk like that; it kills me to see you like this."
"Then leave Prem." Meera said turning the other way.
"Wha--what?" He asked.
"Go. If you can't see me like this, I don't want you to see me whenever it happens. Just leave."
Prem slowly got up and as he turned away Meera felt his hand slip away from hers and let a small tear escape her eyes.
"What was that?" Anshul walked closer to her and asked.
"Anshul please, I don't need to talk about this now. Can you send masi in?" Meera crossed her arms and nodded for him to leave.
"Fine."
Anshul left her room only to have Vidya come in seconds later.
"Umm masi, before we get into the details, can I ask you something?" Meera asked.
Vidya smiled slowly. "He didn't leave. He's outside with your dad."
Meera was surprised but brushed it off. How had Masi known that she was going to ask about him? "Okay thanks."
"Hmm shall I talk about your condition now?" Meera nodded. "Okay so you had the surgery, we got rid of the tumor in your stomach but now, the cancer has spread to your liver and so we're going to have to put you on chemotherapy."
"Masi wait--how long do I have? Without chemo or any kind of therapy?" Meera asked.
"Why would you want to know that Meera? Chemo is the best bet right now."
"Masi please?"
Vidya sighed. "We found the cancer too late Meera," she covered her mouth. "You'd have a month."
Meera sighed. A month to live. A month to fit all her aspirations for life. A month to live freely. "Can I leave the hospital?"
"You don't want to do chemo?" Her aunt asked. "Meera, it's a bad decision."
"Masi, it's for the best. Even with the chemo, what's the guarantee I'd live forever?"
Her masi had no reply to that. "But beta, your dad has to be in on your decision."
"No, I'm married now. I'm an adult. If anyone, my husband has to support me. Can you bring him in?"
Vidya nodded as she opened the door and gestured for someone to come closer. Prem sighed as he saw her smile at him.
"I'm sorry about before Prem. I just wasn't ready."
"I know jaan," he took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb in slow circles.
"Meera wants to talk to you about her decision Prem; I'll leave you two alone." Vidya forced a smile as she left the room.
"What's going on?" Prem asked.
"I don't want chemo,"
"But Meera, there's no other way..."
"I don't want to go through that all only to find that in like 3 months it didn't even make a difference at all. Prem, the cancer has spread too much. I won't be able to fight it."
"You won't even try for me?" He looked down at her hand in his.
"Prem, don't do this. I need your support right now more than I ever did. I want to live this month as a lifetime with you."
He didn't know what to say. How could he live day after day knowing that she could be gone any second? He wouldn't be able to endure that kind of pain. And after, when she was gone--he wouldn't be able to live without her. She was his life. What was the use of existing in a world where she wasn't around?
"Please Prem? For me?" Meera sighed. "For the love that we share?"
He couldn't answer her. The pleading look in her eyes made his throat go dry. How could he deny her the one thing she had ever asked him for?
"Of course," he whispered back.
Her smile grew bigger but there was a sense of hollowness in it. "I want to leave the hospital today."
"Meera you just had surgery. We can't leave today."
Meera shook her head. "Every day in this hospital is killing me anyways."
"Don't say that word," Prem told her quickly. "Promise me from now on, you won't say that."
"Okay, I won't." She smiled as he leaned down and cradled her in his arms. She felt a sense of protection. Maybe he wasn't a super hero but when she was with him she wasn't scared of the future; the future that had the ability to take everything away from her.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
It had been 3 weeks since he had taken her back to their home. She had never been happier not even when they had first gotten married. Prem could easily help her forget the impending fate when they were together. They would spend every night reading together or watching their favourite movies always just cuddled up together. Every morning would dawn with them being together in the sunrise. This was how she had always envisioned the rest of her life to be. Not just a month of it.
"Prem!" Meera called, her cough making it hard to talk.
"Meera, are you okay?" Prem rushed into the room and held her hand and put his other hand against her forehead. "Should I call the doctor?"
Meera forced a small smile on her face. "I'm fine. I just wanted to see you,"
"Meera," He frowned. "Don't scare me like that please?"
Meera rolled her eyes. "It's not like I get to do anything around here anyways. You always leave me in this stupid bed and make me rest. I want to go do something fun!"
"Like?" Prem smirked.
"I, don't know exactly. Oh let's go paint the spare guest room!" Meera bit her lip the minute she realized what she had said.
"You mean the nursery room we had kept," Prem slowly took her hand in his and then scooted closer to let her lean her head on his chest.
"I'm sorry for mentioning it," Meera sighed. "I forgot that that it was a dream we can't share together." Prem kissed her forehead lightly. "Prem, will you promise me something?"
"No."
"Prem!" she frowned. "Please?
"No Meera. I know what you want to ask for and I'm sorry I refuse to promise something like that. Falling in love with you was not in my control but it was perfect; trying to fall in love with someone ELSE, is not something I plan to do."
She didn't know what to say to that. She should be thrilled that he loved her so much but she didn't want him to be unhappy afterwards. "Fine, I won't argue." He smiled down at her. "Aacha suno, can you go get me some of that Italian ice please? From my favourite place?"
"Course." Prem winked and lightly kissed her on the lips before turning around until she grabbed his hand.
"I love you Prem."
"I love you too Meera." He smiled again as he turned to leave.
Meera sighed as she reached for her glasses and a reading book before settling back into the bed all snugly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I've got her lemon ice and the new issues of the magazine she loves reading," Prem mumbled to himself as he put his key into the house lock. "Meera, I'm home." He called out as she left the keys on the entrance table before proceeding to their room.
Once he got there, he saw her eyes closed with the glasses on and her book was sprawled out on her stomach. He shook his head at her before going closer to take the glasses away. His finger brushed near her temples and he jumped at the contact. Her skin was ice cold. He hesitatingly put his head down to her heart and his eyes closed in pain. There was no heartbeat. She had left him without giving him the chance to say good bye. The ice was melting on the coffee table into water just like his barrier to his feelings was melting. He knelt down in front of her and held her cold hand trying to rub it back to life. He couldn't believe she was gone. They hadn't even had a few moments together before fate cruelly ripped them apart. He quietly sobbed as he took in her face into memory. She looked calm and peaceful. There was a slight curve at one side of her mouth making it look like she was smiling and he sighed. Nothing mattered now. Not him, not life, not anything if it was without her.
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