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Living relationship Vs Marriage (Page 2)

return_to_hades IF-Veteran Member
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Posted: 19 July 2009 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sandya_rao7

Originally posted by return_to_hades


I just wanted to highlight for those who maybe unaware that live-in and roommates are different. There are many people in the west who will have opposite sex roommates, a system which is frowned upon in India. There are also co-ed dorms/rooms in many colleges and hostels. While a lot of more conservative societies are skeptical about it - there are several boy-girl roommate situations that are completely platonic.

well the bold part is possible is one of the room mate is a homo. otherwise it is highly unlikely for a girl and a boy to live together and fall in love.



Nah. Boys and girls can live together and be platonic. I've see it happen. It all depends on the fact that the other person is not your 'type'.
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Posted: 19 July 2009 at 11:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by sandya_rao7

Originally posted by return_to_hades


I just wanted to highlight for those who maybe unaware that live-in and roommates are different. There are many people in the west who will have opposite sex roommates, a system which is frowned upon in India. There are also co-ed dorms/rooms in many colleges and hostels. While a lot of more conservative societies are skeptical about it - there are several boy-girl roommate situations that are completely platonic.

well the bold part is possible is one of the room mate is a homo. otherwise it is highly unlikely for a girl and a boy to live together and fall in love.



Nah. Boys and girls can live together and be platonic. I've see it happen. It all depends on the fact that the other person is not your 'type'.
Often in such platonic relationship the ladies are  in the losing end I think.
Of course some men too can be easily hurt.
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Posted: 19 July 2009 at 11:07pm | IP Logged
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*Woh Ajnabee* IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 19 July 2009 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*

To me, it seems more like they want to have the option of packing their bags and walking out at any given point, which again defeats the purpose of a serious relationship.


Each person has a different perspective on relationships. I lack faith in marriage not because of the concept, but because society has degraded it to a contractual legal obligation instead of the testament of unconditional love it should be.

Anyway, for me the 'option to walk out' is the most vital part of a real and deep relationship. For me it is a testament to love when a person stays with you, despite the option to walk out at anytime. I think the best thing that can happen to people is that they hit a point where they do not need to 'ritualize' their commitment to each other or expect obligations - you just know for a fact that the other person will always be there and not just because they are obliged to but because they want to.


Hmm, I did not mean to sound so demeaning in my original post - so I'd like to apologize for that first. I really do believe that we all have our own opinions and a right to believe in them. Having said that, I can see where you're coming from. But to me, marriage is a promise of spending your life with that one person you love with all your heart, and when you can love someone unconditionally, I don't think that marriage is a contract or an obligation. Perhaps I'm too much of a romanticist, but I really do think that marriage makes things different, it changes a relationship, gives it a different meaning. If I love someone more than anything in the world, then why would I need the option of walking out on him or having him walk out on me. When you're that in love, I don't think there's any need for having such options, but then again what do I know.

And quite honestly, I am pretty selfish, and would never want to skip the once-in-a-lifetime chance of having a wedding.


Edited by *Woh Ajnabee* - 19 July 2009 at 11:21pm

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Yeah IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 20 July 2009 at 2:21am | IP Logged
This is one issue to which I thought I had an answer, but currently i'm on the fence.  
 
Live-in relationships provide you with the opportunity to understand the other person and completely accept them before you completely bind yourself with someone. It's an attempt, theoretically, at preventing divorce but more importantly regret after marriage. And though divorces are common...there is defenitely some kind of discrimination concerning marital status at least for future relationships. So, they're best avoided. So 'living-in' has its pros. Basically, you know what you're getting into when you get married. And like returntohades said...it ensures that the couple is together due to love and not obligation.
 
And in a sense marriage is not necessary, because if the couple is living together happily, nothing more is necessary. It's not like athiests don't fall in love and don't committ in relationships.
 
For me I can't justify the need to get married. Maybe it's the Indian background and mentality that makes marriage seem like a neccessity rather than a choice when in a SERIOUS relationship. *serious is in caps cuz by necessity I don't mean...you're not in a relationship/not in love yet you get married...that I don't agree with.*
 
I think for most ppl, well for myself, it's not a question of live-in vs. marriage, rather
live-in before marriage...yes or no?


Edited by Yeah - 20 July 2009 at 2:21am
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Posted: 20 July 2009 at 4:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sandya_rao7

Originally posted by return_to_hades



I'm sure you are referring to 'live-in' as in a romantic relationship.

I just wanted to highlight for those who maybe unaware that live-in and roommates are different. There are many people in the west who will have opposite sex roommates, a system which is frowned upon in India. There are also co-ed dorms/rooms in many colleges and hostels. While a lot of more conservative societies are skeptical about it - there are several boy-girl roommate situations that are completely platonic.

well the bold part is possible is one of the room mate is a homo. otherwise it is highly unlikely for a girl and a boy to live together and fall in love.



Its also easier to fall "out" of love when living together Tongue.

For example, one may find out that the guy or the girl, who was a friend before, annoyingly keeps room dirty, occupies rest rooms for long time, (could be a huge list of other small or big things) etc.

It could be different to have a friend(in general sense) as compared to when that friend actually lives with you. There could be some extra compromises to make.

(BTW: I am not sure, but RTH could be talking about boy-girl roommate situation where they live in "different " rooms, but same apartment . Then it would be like a small hostel.)


Edited by karandel_2008 - 20 July 2009 at 5:02am
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karandel_2008 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 20 July 2009 at 5:41am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sandya_rao7


... u know that dialogue nad ek ladaka aur ladaki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte.


That depends on many things. For example in western society, and sometimes in India, but not always, girls and boys grow together and there is much more interaction between them. Should we say that there is some sort of gender neutralization?

In fact, in western society some guys are afraid Tongue of the "friend zone" that means (if I got it correctly) if somebody falls in love with someone (one sided) and if that someone becomes too friendly then that person will never become his/her girlfriend or boyfriend.




Edited by karandel_2008 - 20 July 2009 at 5:58am

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