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once upon a time, we WERE friends

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glamritz

Goldie

glamritz

Joined: 08 February 2006

Posts: 2373

Posted: 22 June 2009 at 10:28am | IP Logged
"Once upon a time, we were friends"

I had a very close friend back in school. We were 13 when we first met and we we became the best of friends for the next  3 years. We were really close and we knew each other very well. At least, I thought so.

And then one day, something stupid happened (I wouldn't go into details) but partly because of my childishness, partly because of her folly - there was a misunderstanding. Honestly, I tried my best to talk it out with her and explained as much as I could to clear it up. But she did not give me a chance, or, our friendship another chance. Also, there was an involvement of a third party (a guy.. )n things just got complicated. LOL  It's funny when I look back and think about it. But eventually, I gave up as well. Afterall I had my 'O' levels to concentrate on back then ! 

We still have each other on MSN, facebook etc but we never talk at all. It's been 6 years. I did contact her a few times in the last few yrs but there was no reply from her side. I thought with passing years, we would both have matured and moved on but it was clear that she did not wish to have any contact whatsoever. And I wasn't pouncing on her either. So I didn't pester her anymore.. I was cool..  

But I feel really upset. I am going to migrate off to another country in a few months time. I'm leaving this place for good. And I am looking forward to it. I'm gonna miss everything here. My home. My school. My college. My friends. But there will always be this regret. A void. Between that friend of mine. Yes, I did make better friends along the way in university work etc... but how I wish I was just given a chance to explain and clear it up with her once, explaining it wasn't my fault etc etc before leaving .. 


SO, not meaning to sound over-dramatic anymore, LOL my question is ....


Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?

Is it  alright to forget friends ?

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jettythegod

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Posted: 22 June 2009 at 10:45am | IP Logged
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Veer-Zaara

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Veer-Zaara

Joined: 12 November 2007

Posts: 372

Posted: 22 June 2009 at 10:48am | IP Logged
Oh... lemme ask u the first question .. Whr r u migrating?I know how it feels leaving everything n goin bak....
As for ur second question, is never too late to apologize to anyone.. Smile
Its the thought that counts.. i mean atleast u tried to contact her,patch things up with her ..atleast u tried doing that and dats great...  maybe friends shud be givn another chance u know..well iv never gone thru dis sorta thng so i really dont know.. maybe it also depends on wot actually happens between the two friends n the seriousness of it..
Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ? well, i dont know if its jus in my nature or what,but i think if a friend is not interested to clear up things then u jus leave it at that... once it happened to me, jus a trivial matter btw me n ma frnd... she started overreactin for no reason n al..i i did my best to explain to her n all that but she wudnt listen.. she jus had to have her own way n blame thngs on me... n then i decided i jus leave it that way.. why bother when shez nt interested ?? dats wot i feel.. i mean v try to make things better n become frnds agen they jus dont care..that hurts rigght..Ouch
so dats wot i tink.. i jus leave them like dat ..i dont bother wit wat happens then:)
i hope my message helped!! n hope things go right for u!! TcEmbarrassed

casper2

Goldie

casper2

Joined: 09 August 2008

Posts: 1720

Posted: 22 June 2009 at 10:55am | IP Logged
friendship deserves another chance but if ur friend is unwilling to listen then respect her decision. She may relent later . If not then its time to move on. Life is too precious to hang on to the past.

Sujal_Fan_No1

Goldie

Sujal_Fan_No1

Joined: 06 November 2008

Posts: 1485

Posted: 22 June 2009 at 1:53pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by glamritz

" Yuh i can understand, wat u going threw the same thing happend to me and one of my bestfriends, it was partly her fault and partly mine, we tried to talk it threw but both r childishness got in the way, and we havent talked since, because i had to go to another schl.I have this friend on facebook but we neva talk.



Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?

They should be because ur young and u dnt realise the mistake ur making

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?

I dont think so, but like they say it takes two too tango.i

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?
I think its ok too let them no how u feel at least that way it is off ur chest, but if they dnt want to say anything back, then it is there problem at least u have told them how u feel.
Is it  alright to forget friends ?
Well if ur rele, gd friends u will keep in contact with that person, sometimes u naturally forget or loose contact with someone.


Have u ever written a email to this friend telling her that ur leaving the country for good on facebook or something. Maybe that might help????


Edited by Sujal_Fan_No1 - 22 June 2009 at 1:57pm

*Shona*

IF-Veteran Member

*Shona*

Joined: 06 March 2005

Posts: 6589

Posted: 22 June 2009 at 6:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by glamritz

Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?

Is it  alright to forget friends ?
 
First of all, I have to say, I love the topic! Very interesting and I'm sure at least 90% of the members can relate to this in some way.
 
Friends/friendships should definately be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake.  We all make mistakes ... and sometimes mistakes happen due to miscommunication, misunderstanding due to another person/group or immaturity/inability to understand the other person's feelings or actions.  I think if the mistake was made once, it should be forgiven and forgotten and friends should move on.  Nothing in life is so big to lose a great friendship over .... of course, if we are not willing to forgive and forget then obviously the matter at hand is more important to us than that friend ever was.
 
It's never to late to apologize and patch up ... and people might disagree with this but IMO, the longer you wait to patch up, the easier it is ... It just gives the other person time on their own to think things out .. you give each other space ... and when you grow up, you realize how stupid you were then and are willing to let things go because so much time has passed.
 
If someone else is not willing to talk out matters, I usually don't waste time with them.  Making a mistake is one thing .. but denying it or not willing to discuss it is another mistake ...
 
I don't know if it's ok to forget friends ... but I've made a LOT of friends over the years ... and I can safely say that I haven't forgotten a single one ... whether we ended the friendship badly or just because of moving away from the city/country/school ... I always remember my friends and if I ever come across them through msn or facebook or even in-person I make it a point to say hello and ask how they are doing ... just for old times' sake ... I think we can do atleast that much ... I've shared some great times and some not so great times with all my friends and acknowledging them would be the least I could or they could do ...
 
I don't know if I made sense .. just got back from working almost 15 hours ... I'm half asleep Embarrassed
 
Regards,
Jas
 
 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

-Sneha

return_to_hades

IF-Veteran Member

return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006

Posts: 20647

Posted: 22 June 2009 at 9:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by glamritz

Should friendhip/friends be given another chance, regardless of the gravity of the mistake ?
This is for each individual to decide. What would you give a second chance for a what won't you. I think friendship is powerful enough to overcome most mistakes and differences, however, fundamental breaches of trust are irreparable and its best to move on.

Is it too late for friends to apologize and patch up ?
Never too late to apologize, but you can definitely dwell on something too much.

Is it really worth it to try to talk it out with a friend who seems not interested to clear up things at all ?
If its a oneway dead end, don't  bother entering.

Is it  alright to forget friends ?
No, just tuck them away in a different memory box.

glamritz

Goldie

glamritz

Joined: 08 February 2006

Posts: 2373

Posted: 24 June 2009 at 4:09am | IP Logged

Thanks for the replies!

 lol, I'll perhaps give it one last shot and send her an email. If it's meant to be - it will be. If not, it's better to move on.  

Thanks guys :)

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