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Aparna_BD

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Aparna_BD

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Posted: 31 October 2005 at 10:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Minnie

Originally posted by indygirl

Most Indian customs are beautifull and special including Karva chauth.

I suppose what i find highly useless and irritating is a bengali custom - after the wedding there is a period of kaal ratri ( literaly black night ).Its the night after the wedding . Its when the bride and bride groom must not spend the night together . A stupid mythological story behind it . I find it annoying and pointless !! LOL

The rest are beautifull !!

    Hey you know, I find that custome very very useful. Let me tell you why I think that way:

   The Bengali weddings are normally very long; it starts from the the day before the actual wedding when the bride and the groom have a special lunch party which is the last meal at their respective homes before marriage. In the evening, a neighbour or someone who is not related by blood arranges for the food. All this normally include a lot of festivity and the bride and the grooms guarantedly do not get any sleep till very late at night.

   Next day, the ceremony starts before sunrise ( around 4 in the morning)when the wud be bride and groom are fed a terrible mixture of chera ( poha) and curd ( something on the line of karva chauth sargi - only it tastes yuck but is healthy) and then the whole day they both fast; No food, only some juice and water; The marriage normally starts at night. Goes late into midnight till early morning sometimes - this part is 'kanyadaan'  and then a break and dinner.Then, neither the bride nor the groom is allowed to sleep and there is a lot of joking, singing and merrymaking by both the parties (mostly young people in the marriage) that is arranged in a special hall. This is called "bashor raat" . Then comes the final part of the marriage after the day breaks - it's called Kushum diga and this is when the groom puts sindoor on the forehead and the marriage s deemed complete.

   Then a whole line of ceremonies follow including aashirwaad by the bride's family to the newly wed couple and then the vidai, which is mostly in the late afternoon.

   At groom's place, the bride is welcomed with arti and some other usual ceromonies which take a a lot of time which is followed by the aashirwaad by the grooms family.

   So by now, it's been a whole two days of lots of ceremonies and two nights of waking by the couple. Beleive me, at this juncture, inspite of the excitement, the bride and the grrom are dead tired. This is the night of kaal ratri and and in my opinon, this one night of blissful sleep does wonders for all the rest of the ceremonies that lie ahead the next day.

   The night after kaal ratri is the "suhag raat". The wedding night is actually is much better after the resting period of kaal ratri WinkEmbarrassed

   I normally find most of teh Indian rituals useful and fun, though some superstitions drive me nuts. One of them is taking foot long gunghats which drives me nuts.

  



Minnie , Nooooooooooo way i DISAGREE , i hated that so much .......see when i got married ( i had a love marriage) , though me and my hubby dated for 7 years , i was never very familiar with his family . Infact they made me nervous .LOL And when i had my " vidai " finally ,i was so SCARED , yes inspite of dating my hubby for 7 long years . And that night i had to sleep with my sister - in law( the horrible kaal ratri ) .......I started to have panic attacks, i had to take sleeping pills , but i was still  very very very uncomfortable EmbarrassedEmbarrassed, but i was dead scared to sleep in the room with my nanad !!! I was so releived to be with my hubby the next day ( since i am only comfortable with him) and even now i have issues sharing a room with any one except hubby or my mother !!
So maybe if you have a arranged marriage , it may be a different situation as you are not comfy with your hubby .

Hey Minnie, i didn't know you were a Bong too !!Smile

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anjali.nair

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anjali.nair

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Posted: 31 October 2005 at 1:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Minnie

The night after kaal ratri is the "suhag raat". The wedding night is actually is much better after the resting period of kaal ratri WinkEmbarrassed


minnie, LOL i agree with you on this.

anjali.nair

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anjali.nair

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Posted: 31 October 2005 at 1:20pm | IP Logged
indygirl, minnie!! it's nice to hear about your wedding stories Wink .

i love all the indian traditions. it's fun to deck up in heavy sarees/ghagras and jewellery once a while. i am not a fan of bursting too many crackers on diwali. holi is my fav.

sugar plum

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sugar plum

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Posted: 01 November 2005 at 7:24am | IP Logged
well... in today's context, most customs are pointless... the one I HATE THE MOST would have to be the custom somewhere in the south, when they bury pre-pubescent girls into the ground for 15 mins... for some ritual... another one i hate... is giving all land property, rights to sons... uffff...
i agree... several customs were totally relevant in their time... but as time passed, ppl began following them rigidly, without understanding the reasons for doing so... and the RESULT: stupid irritating customs...

simi1295

Goldie

simi1295

Joined: 19 May 2005

Posts: 2069

Posted: 02 November 2005 at 7:35am | IP Logged
i love everything that is related to india. i agree some have thr own views but for me i love it all. i love all the festival and traditons and the cutoms. they are gr8.. thats what makes us indians different from the rest of the world. im not married so i dont knw how it feels to stay away after marriage but its only one nite so it shouldnt matter but other then that its all really nice.. karava chuth is a great thing. and us women should feel proud to do it for our hubbies bc we have the strenght to stay hungry for a whole day when men cant. thats why its only for women. lol.. once again we all have our own thoughts and views. for me, i love india and everything related to india.

Aparna_BD

IF-Dazzler

Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005

Posts: 4926

Posted: 02 November 2005 at 2:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sugar bun

well... in today's context, most customs are pointless... the one I HATE THE MOST would have to be the custom somewhere in the south, when they bury pre-pubescent girls into the ground for 15 mins... for some ritual... another one i hate... is giving all land property, rights to sons... uffff...
i agree... several customs were totally relevant in their time... but as time passed, ppl began following them rigidly, without understanding the reasons for doing so... and the RESULT: stupid irritating customs...


You know funnily we were discussing how many Indian customs were made centuries back ..........to suit those living conditions . Some are now so draconian and ridicules in todays day and age . Another one i recall my Madrasi friends and my Jain- Marwari buddy telling me about when a girl is mensturating , she is made to eat separtely , in a separate thali , sleep in a different bedroom ,not enter the kitchen , till she's all clean . This is so insulting and embarrasing in this day and age . It may or may not have purpose in olden times( i remember in Mahabhartha , Draupdi was in her separate room as she was unclean.........when she was dragged out for that vast haran ) , but now its drocanian , backward and completely useless . AngryFortunately these friends of mine who faced these horrible things from their families , never want to do it to their children !!
These are the ones and the one mentioned by sugar bun that need to be abolished !!

hazelgirl

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hazelgirl

Joined: 25 June 2005

Posts: 5747

Posted: 03 November 2005 at 10:21am | IP Logged
indygirl even i am a bengali Tongue Tongue

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