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Your opinion on Incest (Page 6)

return_to_hades IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 24060

Posted: 20 June 2009 at 10:57pm | IP Logged
Technically, no one is 100% asexual, there are just asexual phases. However, any intercourse with an asexual person is technically rape. Maybe marriage is given emphasis, but I think most cultures also consider virginity a commendable virtue.

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-Believe- IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 03 December 2005
Posts: 25719

Posted: 22 June 2009 at 5:30am | IP Logged

I found an one intresting article which i would like to share it
with you.



Male Sexual Abuse Victims of Female Perpetrators:
Society's Betrayal of Boys
by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist.

The reality that boys are sexually abused by women is not widely
accepted. Some people view it as an impossible act - that a male
can't be sexually assaulted by a female - and others view it as
sexually titillating. The existence of female perpetrators and male
victims confronts many of our most firmly held beliefs about women,
men, sexuality, power, and sexual assault. It challenges our very
notions about what sex is.

The view that males always want and benefit from sex with females

On the whole, discussions and writings about sex refer exclusively to
heterosexuality, which is considered normal and natural. The commonly
held view of heterosexuality is that men are always wanting and
seeking sex with females; males are dominant, while females are
submissive. Men initiate sexual encounters, and women accept or
decline male invitations for sex.

If a female initiates sex with a boy he is considered lucky

If a female initiates sexual contact with a male, this is viewed as a
rare and exciting opportunity that no man should let pass by; he
should be grateful.

Given these commonly held beliefs, many people see nothing wrong with
a woman pursuing a boy sexually. In fact, in some circles it is
considered a good way to introduce boys to heterosexuality. Some
fathers take their young sons to prostitutes with the mistaken belief
that it is "good" for them. A number of movies, stories, jokes, and
fantasies portray older women sexually "seducing" young boys in
positive terms.

Where does this leave men who were sexually abused by women?

Sadly, many men who were sexually abused by women are locked in
silence, shame, and self-loathing. Society tells them that not only
was their experience not abuse, but that they should have enjoyed it,
and if they didn't there must be something terribly wrong with them.

Even when their experiences are recognized as abuse, they may be
viewed as having been "weak" or "not man enough" because they were
unable to stop it, defend themselves, or put it behind them.

The myth that men can't be victimized particularly by women is firmly
entrenched in many cultures. Many men who dare acknowledge that they
were sexually abused by women are cruelly laughed at and humiliated.
Most do not dare say a word about it for fear of feeling any more
ashamed than they already feel.

Many men who were sexually abused by women feel deeply ashamed of
themselves, their sexuality, and their gender. Sadly and mistakenly,
they believe that there must be something profoundly wrong with them
that they were abused in this way. Some men defend against feeling
this way by being in a constant state of anger or rage - one of the
few emotions that are socially acceptable for men. Many male
survivors cope with the abuse by drinking, using drugs, living
recklessly, avoiding intimate relationships, numbing their feelings,
dissociating, and becoming depressed, anxious or angry.

David Lisak, Ph.D. (1994), in his research with 26 adult male sexual
abuse survivors (many of whom were abused by women), found that the
effects of the abuse on the men could be grouped according to the
following themes:





Homosexuality Issues (mostly for men abused by men)

Isolation and Alienation

Legitimacy (being able to take the abuse and its effects seriously)


Masculinity Issues (feeling okay about being male)

Negative Childhood Peer Relations

Negative Schemas about People (difficulty trusting others)

Negative Schemas about the Self (feeling bad about one's self)

Problems with Sexuality

Self Blame/Guilt


Mother-son sexual abuse

Men who were sexually abused by their mothers, or other women in
parenting roles (such as aunts, grandmothers, sisters, etc.) often
feel the most inner turmoil, shame, guilt, and self-loathing. They
were betrayed by the very women who were supposed to take care of
them and to protect them. It is no wonder that men who were sexually
abused by their mothers feel a profound sadness and emptiness.

Abuse by a mother is often the last abuse to be dealt with when there
have been other perpetrators in the survivor's history. Many men and
women have said that the abuse by their mothers was the most shameful
and damaging form of childhood victimization that they experienced.
(Elliott, 1993, pg. 21)

Men who were sexually abused by their mothers often have a very
difficult time disclosing the abuse because they feel a loyalty - a
traumatic bond - with their mothers. It may be a conflicted bond, but
a bond still the same. This bond may stop them from disclosing what
they believe would be a "betrayal" of their mother's trust and

The son may be put in the role of husband

In my clinical experience, a common dynamic in mother-son sexual
abuse is that of the son being placed in the role of husband. In this
context, a son is likely to feel aligned with his mother and
protective of her, wanting to please her and take care of her. He may
even be put in the position of trying to protect her from her abusive
husband, which will invariably leave him feeling inadequate and
ineffectual. As a child, his mother's abuse may seem less threatening
than his father's, but her abuse is no less serious just the same. In
time, the effects of her abuse will take its toll on him.

With this reversal in roles, abused boys sometimes grow up having
problems being taken care of, preferring to place themselves in care-
taking positions. They may become very submissive, catering to the
needs of their sexual partners. On the other hand, they may be very
angry at women, viewing all women in the same way - as being
emotionally manipulative, controlling, abusive and untrustworthy -
and take revenge on them.

Female perpetrators can be just as violent as men

It is common for mothers who sexually abuse their sons to rely on
emotional manipulation and control, for example, by telling the child
that by doing a certain act it will make mommy or aunty "feel good";
pretending that the abuse is really a form of bathing and cleaning;
pretending that it is meant to make the child "feel good"; pretending
that it is cuddling. It is also the case that mothers and female
perpetrators are violent. This is particularly evident in ritual
abuse where women, along with men, are sadistic toward children (and

Female perpetrators can be just as violent as men. We know this, yet
the stereotype and reality of the "emotionally clingy" female
perpetrator is given more attention because it confirms our beliefs
that women are weak, emotionally dependent, and non-violent. I have
heard horrendous stories from men (and women) who were beaten and
tortured by their mothers and other women in their lives, and not
only in the context of ritual abuse.

Final thoughts

Men who were sexually abused by women rarely see their reality
reflected in articles, books, services, and web sites that are
created for sexual abuse survivors. The fact that it is not widely
acknowledged or accepted that boys as well as girls are sexually
abused, and women as well as men sexually abuse children is damaging
to men who were abused by women.

Many male survivors live in isolation, fear, shame, anger, and
silence precisely because they know the taboos in our culture about
talking about this form of abuse. It needn't be this way. We can
acknowledge that boys are abused and women abuse children without
diminishing the reality of male perpetrated violence and female
victimization. Understanding this form of abuse contributes to our
knowledge about abuse in all its forms - something that we will all
benefit from.

Ahmed25 Groupbie

Joined: 14 August 2009
Posts: 52

Posted: 16 August 2009 at 12:01am | IP Logged
There's nothing wrong with cousins marrying each other. This is quite normal in Islam and there are no bad  health efffects.

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kickass1 Senior Member

Joined: 21 August 2009
Posts: 600

Posted: 07 September 2009 at 6:45am | IP Logged

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rogna IF-Dazzler

Joined: 30 November 2007
Posts: 4973

Posted: 07 September 2009 at 9:40am | IP Logged
how specific do you define incest? is the relationship of half-siblings considered as incest in speaking in this terms?
rogna IF-Dazzler

Joined: 30 November 2007
Posts: 4973

Posted: 07 September 2009 at 9:41am | IP Logged
what do you guys think about this article:

Patrick Stuebing and Susan Karolewski are a German brother and sister. Having grown up separately they were reunited in 2000, fell in love and now have four children together, something which led Patrick to spend two years in prison. Three of the couple's four children have now been taken into care and the couple are appealing the decision.
How right are we to make incest like this illegal? Simonetta Agnello Hornby is a children's lawyer and author and Professor Adam Kuper is Professor of Anthropology at Brunel University.
"The Marchesa"  by Simonetta Agnello Hornby is published by Penguin ISBN 9780141023700

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