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Your first kiss with your best friend! (Page 2)

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Sanjana92

Senior Member

Sanjana92

Joined: 02 September 2008

Posts: 895

Posted: 28 May 2009 at 4:22pm | IP Logged
Heyy there :)
 
well, as per me, i guess right now i am in a same situation because i met this guy at my school like 3 months ago, he just moved from chicago and he ended up with me in a lot of classes so thats how we meet and got closer. i see him each and every day, and now that we both like eachother, i am scared to say yes to him because if we break up, our relationship won't be as good as it is right now (relationship as best friends). I just don't wanna stop talking to him after our break up or something, like mostly happens..i want us to still be friends because i value our friendship more than any other relations we might have in future..i am sooo struggling whether i should say yes or not..
 
sooo, i talked to my brothers about this and here is the advise they gave me, "If I like him, then I should go for it. He is the one that brings smile to my face, and if he is making me happy, then I deserve all the happiness. Don't worry about the future, because no one knows, and even after our break up, if he is meant to be mine, then he will come back to me. Nothing will stop him. If i leave him now, he might not come back." and i must say both of my olders brothers are experts at this because my oldest brother has been dating his girfriend ever since he was 17, and my other older brother knows a lot about this even though he has never dated anyone..just recently started dating one..  so i guess i would give you the same advise my brothers did to me. If you like him and he likes you, then go for it. You can always work out the problems between each other but once you let him go, he might not come back. if he is in your destiny, then nothing will stop him from coming back to you. you both have the perfect chance to date, do it gurl! don't wait for anything..tell him your feelings and tell him that you wanna date him..and also tell him not to worry about his ex. she is his past and you are his present and might be his future too :)

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-Yaz-

IF-Rockerz

-Yaz-

Joined: 06 May 2007

Posts: 5048

Posted: 28 May 2009 at 4:54pm | IP Logged
I have kissed one of My Guy Friends Before, but that was because of a dare and We just Got Over it, But to me it seems as This Guy I mean Your Best Friends is More than Just a Friend, You Probably have feelings for him ... Tell Me one thing, Before this Did You flirt Alot, if Yes then You definetly Have feelings for him, and Maybe he does as well, the best way to go is talk to him about it .. If he says he Probably does have Feelings for you, Give it a Try in a Relationship, but Beforehand lay a deal that if the relationship doesn't Work you'll both still be Best Of Friends, and If your Friendship is really that Strong this can't break it ....

snowflake0555

IF-Sizzlerz

snowflake0555

Joined: 08 July 2006

Posts: 24625

Posted: 28 May 2009 at 8:48pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by hindu4lyf

My piece of advice.
Btw can I just say I absolutely loveee topics like this! I get so hooked for updates! :P
My friend went out with a friend who she was reallyyy close with but we always knew he was a bit of a player, but didn't work out at all and they broke up within 2 weeks, and they've never been the same before. But that was due to other reasons too e.g. religion etc
In your situation though, you guys both seem totally hooked on each other! He really seems to like you and believe me a guy will always answer 'what do you want me to think of you as..?' when they like you. Otherwise they'd just say your such a great friendd, great personality blahh the usual. When a guy does that, there's a lot more on his mind you don't know about. ;) unless he's a player and is kinda flirty with all girls.
I completely understand your situation about not wanting to ruin youir friendship but do you wanna have that regret in your life that 'what if..' feeling? That would totally eat me up from the inside! True it could leave you worse than you originally started off with and maybe even to the extent of not being friends no more but if it's true friendship, just like love it'll come back after a while. ;) We all fight but when it's true friendship, we always get round the situation eventually.
So my advice to you is seriously just got for it, like don't throw yourself on him. But just drop hints that you're cool with all this and a lil flirting does no harm. ;) and it is bound to get the message across.
His previous experience shouldn't stop him because not everyone is the same and more than saying it again and again, you should prove it to him. :)
 
I agree about the stubborn bit though, if I was in your situation, i'd be exactly like that, very stubborn and refuse to make the first move! :P
But just saying the fact that he kissed you, you enjoyed it and made out with him in return too clearly shows you both have feelings for each other and let's face it, it's gonna be playing at the back of your minds for some time as to who likes who. So i'd just say go for it. I know..easier said than done but good luck and let us in on the updates!
Best of luck hun! :)


wow, you give great advice! i totally agree w/ what you said! TongueLOL

TiN24

Goldie

TiN24

Joined: 21 September 2004

Posts: 1868

Posted: 28 May 2009 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
Guys...i cant thank you enough for all the support and advice..it means alot.
 
Here;s some more infor, yes we both have flirted in the past...I dont know if I would call it flirting..but the types of jokes we do...it looks as though we are flirting..but to me..we are jus havin fun and joking. But some of the things he says to me really makes me think twice. He tells me that I should always smile because I have a pretty smile and its make HIS day shines even more (seeing me smile). He's TOTALLY not the player type who flirst with all girls...he's sooo sincere and honest....truly one of those guys that are hard to find. He has told me recently (after our fight) that my ffriendship wit him and me are the most precious things to him, and thats why he doesnt want to make me his gf......now that got me thinking.....does that mean he really does want me as his gf but is jus scared? I mean...does he actually want to consider me as his gf but is hesitating too much???
 
See...im getting mixed signals here and I cant figure it all out. As ideal as it would be for us to get together...we also have barriers inbetween us that wud play a major factor in our relationship....another reason why we try not change our friendship into a relationship. But I do care about him sooooo much and we've both told eachother we love eachother (as friends)....so......who knows......

aish_punk

IF-Sizzlerz

aish_punk

Joined: 11 January 2008

Posts: 20622

Posted: 29 May 2009 at 7:02am | IP Logged
hey..well if u cant show him d thread..u can ask ur frnd too..bt neva mind..we'll find a better way..!
 
well..y did u fight in the 1st place..was it really serious or smtn..?..n well if he dusnt wanna answer ur question properly..maybe he feels insecure..i think so..so maybe u shud ask him " I just want to know what u really think of me..not what pleases my ear..."..or something like that to make him answe u..n if he's not willing to..den do go on to force him..!
 
well..since u think he's a pure n honest guy..he might not be flirting with u..but actually mean it..!..its' very tuff 2 find a guy hu's not a flirt..Tongue...n i think that he's just too insecure bcuz of his past relations..i think the best way is to confront him..but it's really tough..i noe..!..so i think u've got to do it..!..n yeah well no prob if he says no..u can still remain best frndz..
 
but if u go on like this...thinking what u feel about each other..i think u like him right..more den a frnd..?..well if den u can ask him out..odawise just stick to ur frndship..but then if u have feelings for each oda u cant go out with any1 else too..n would simply be thinking about each other..!..
 
well this is a very sensitive issue..i hope u guys get together now..!

-Yaz-

IF-Rockerz

-Yaz-

Joined: 06 May 2007

Posts: 5048

Posted: 29 May 2009 at 7:31am | IP Logged
too me it sounds as if you both have feelings for eachother ... and i see why your scared to admit it, because Friendship is a beautiful relationship and theres no way in the world anyone would want to break it, but theres another Truth that you won't know if your relationship will work or not, if you don't try it ...

Basically i'm just all confused up !! so No Advise from My side ... Sorry

hindu4lyf

IF-Rockerz

hindu4lyf

Joined: 25 March 2008

Posts: 9292

Posted: 29 May 2009 at 7:45am | IP Logged
Originally posted by TiN24

Guys...i cant thank you enough for all the support and advice..it means alot.
 
Here;s some more infor, yes we both have flirted in the past...I dont know if I would call it flirting..but the types of jokes we do...it looks as though we are flirting..but to me..we are jus havin fun and joking. But some of the things he says to me really makes me think twice. He tells me that I should always smile because I have a pretty smile and its make HIS day shines even more (seeing me smile). He's TOTALLY not the player type who flirst with all girls...he's sooo sincere and honest....truly one of those guys that are hard to find. He has told me recently (after our fight) that my ffriendship wit him and me are the most precious things to him, and thats why he doesnt want to make me his gf......now that got me thinking.....does that mean he really does want me as his gf but is jus scared? I mean...does he actually want to consider me as his gf but is hesitating too much???
 
See...im getting mixed signals here and I cant figure it all out. As ideal as it would be for us to get together...we also have barriers inbetween us that wud play a major factor in our relationship....another reason why we try not change our friendship into a relationship. But I do care about him sooooo much and we've both told eachother we love eachother (as friends)....so......who knows......
 
So in conclusion you both like each other but both of you don't wanna admit it cos your scared of this special friendship you both share right?
All i'm gonna say is for the sake of friendship, let's just hope you don't sacrifice a potential life partner..
More than anything, he's confused himself. He seems like he really wants to get things going but he's really holding himself back cos he's scared it's all gonna be over too soon. I'd say wait a little. Keep that special friendship going, believe me his love for you will grow even stronger. (and try to keep a little bit of distance, it'll keep him thinking what's up and wanna talk to you about itWink) cos he won't be around you as much..slight distance will indeed make the heart grow fonder =) so give it a bit of time and one of you won't be able to resist the 'only friendship' thingTongue
So I hope he eats Adam's apple before you doWink
 
Thanks snowflake =)

TiN24

Goldie

TiN24

Joined: 21 September 2004

Posts: 1868

Posted: 29 May 2009 at 6:05pm | IP Logged
Thanks so much for ur advice
 
Im a strong  beliver in kismet....and i belive that if he's meant to be mine...as in more than a friend...then he'll be mine some way or another. And ya...we got into a fight cause he's been sick for a while and didnt bother to tell me. Instead of answering my simple questions, he totally starts yelling at me to leave him alone and go away and that he wants everyone out of his life...his family, his siblings, and well..his friends. So i got pissed and told him to say my name and say that he wants me out of his life and to leave him...and he says ya..i want everyone outta my life..and because we kept arguing and i wudnt leave cause i wanted answwers..he ended up storming outta the room and leaving. So i said I had enought because every other fight of ours...Im always the one to give in first, say sori first and hug/kiss and make up first. This time I wasnt gonng have it..and we jus walked passed eachother and said no words. The next day he txt'd me asking me to meet him in a park to talk and discuss since we both were in pain...and ya...we talked...i cried...he tried not to cry infront of me..and so on...We still havent really made up yet..cause Im sick of getting into fights with him...we dont have a normal friendship....our caring for eachother becomes our weakness and then takin in the wrong way sometimes.....because we jus care that much.
 
He's trying really hard to suck up to me now cause he;s reeeeally guilty about walking out on me. But until i see him face to face (which wil be tomorro)....i dont know wht the future holds......
 
ill keep u guys posted on whtever happens tomorrow.....(it will be the first time i see him in a week....usually we see eachother atleast 2-3 times a week at work...so....lets see....)

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