One shot sajan ff- the last time.
Its so ironic, isn't it? How you don't truly understand what a person was for you till they are gone, till a time comes, when they wouldn't be around for you when you need them most? Funny, isn't it. The same thing happened to me, samrat. The coolest dude at college. I never thought I would be this way someday. But here I am.
Throughout college me and my best friend chashmish aka gunjan were together. There wasn't a moment that we would spend apart. We were always with each other no matter what. That's what we were. And will always be even now.
It was last week I guess when I finally realized how I feel about her, when I realized she was more important to me than anything else. When I realized that god-damn-it I love her. it was an amazing feeling.
The next day was her birthday, so I went to archies and I bought the cutest teddy and a nice meaningful card telling her how mch I love her.
I wrote in it-
Dearest chashmish..
I don't know how this happened.. but now that it has im soo happy. I love you chashmish, and its true.. n I promise whenever you want it, youll always have the best part of me. love n hugs from your cute chocolate boy- samrat.
I had plans of finally pruposing her that day. Ill make this birthday of hers memorable.
I was so excited to meet her to give her the card and gift, that I left early from home to meet her when she was alone and not in a crowd. I was driving with a heart racing my car. I was imagining chashmish in her breath taking white salwar which she had worn on valentines. How could I forget it! God I hadn't been able to get my eyes of her.
I raced back in time to know in my heart that gunjan was the only thing in life I loved and desired the most.
As soon as I reached gunjans place I saw candy sitting on the sofa cuddled up with rv.
s- guys where gunjan?
d- god tum dono na. wo abhi abhi, just I guess 1 minute ago tumse milne nikali thi!
s- aww mann!
Then I went outside to the parking lot and quickly got my car out and went ahead to find her. On the crossroads I saw gunjan. I quickly parked the car and got out and waved at gunjan, who responded back with the most beautiful smile ever.
I beckoned her to come and sit with me in the car. She quickly nodded like a 5 year old and started carefully crossing the roads. Just then candy called.
s- haan candy
d- gunjan mil gayee??
s- haan mil gayee!
And I turned to see where gunjan was.
'GUUNNJJAANNNN NOOOOO…..'
But pity! I was a second too late. Gunjan who had been so excited and impatient to cross the road had started running, and before I could make out what was happening, there was a loud crash.
The truck driver who had been drunk was arrested and sentenced 6 months.
I ran out to her where a crowd had gathered. I quickly looked at her mangled face, which was red with blood flowing from only god knew where all
'KOI AMBULANCE BHULAO JALDI.' I shouted
one of thee men there who had seen what had happened quickly called the ambulance and the police.
Gunjan was rushed to the sanjeevai hospital, within 7 minutes where she was admitted and nursed.
The doc- inka operation karna padega immidietly.
s- but why. Stitches kaafi nahi hoga? Is It that serious?
The doc- dhekhiye jahaan tak accident ka sawaal hai, that was not very serious. Lekhin us ke wajaan se kuch glass pieces gunjan ke temple ke through uske nerves and spine mein pahnch gaye hai. Theres been a lot of internal bleeding.
s- doc who theek to ho jayegi na?
the doc looked at her shoes and said- hum apni puri koshish karenge. But such cases… well we cant predict anything beta.
s- doc par—
the doc- abhi baat karne ka time nahi hai. We need to remove the glass pieces as quickly as possible. Before the internal bleeding increases. Sign these papers beta.
I quickly signed them, and waited there outside the operation theatre. Before long I had called up the few people close to gunjan.
Within 15 minutes mayank, nupur, rv, dia, uncle, uday, benji and samrat were all sitting with their heads shoved into their hands. Samrat who had broken down nearly 6 times in the past half an hour. Sat on the floor in the corner of the room and was being comforted by benji and uday. nupur was continuously being comforted by dia. Rv stood in a corner with a strange glumness in his eyes.
s-benji benji… gunjan ko kuch nahi hoga na dude?
b-gunjan ko kuch nahi hoga dude.
s-usko kuch ho gaya to?
b-gunjan ek bahut hi pyaari si ladki hai samrat. Bhagwaan usse kuch nahi karenge. Hes not that mean okay? So don't worry yourself.
s- I hope you're right benji.
As he said he broke down and lay down on the floor and started crying.
It was nearly three hours before the doctor came out. As soon as she came out they all surrounded her and started asking- wo thik ho jayegi na?
The doc- Humne bahut koshish ki but….
Hum usse bacha nahi paye. Internal bleeding itni zyada ho gayee thi ki hum kuch nahi kar paaye.
That was the moment I knew that my world was never gonna be the same. I didn't wanna stay in the crowd I quickly moved out. I was unaware of where I was going, unaware of what was happening around, I just kept walking, towards an unknown destintion. People moved beyond me, but I could see no one. The only thing I saw was gunjan and the memories I had with her.
It all flashed in my mind. The 1st time we had ever met, and she had fallen into the pool and how I had saved her.. then how I had teased her by the bhavesh sam inter change. Then the sweet lies and the making up. the valentines night, holi, new year, diwali and what not. but I couldn't cry. There was nothing left there but emptiness, a sudden emptiness I coudnt explain.
She was gone, gone from my life. Why couldn't god see me happy. Do I look that bad when I smile?
It was night fall and I was still roaming the entire Mumbai when I reached the max beach. It was completely deserted. I went inside and sat on the soft sand watching the sea washing over my gunjan. I slowly got up and walked towards the sea slowly seeping into it, slowly walking deeper and deeper into it.
When the water was till my knee level my cell began ringing. I took it out and it was from dia. I blinked and felt a tear roll down my cheek.
s- hello
d- samrat.. where are you? Ive been trying to reach you since so much time? Kahaan hai tu samrat?
s- kya hua?
d- KYA hua? Samrat? Are you okay? Are you drunk?
s- CANDY COME TO THE POINT!
Dia felt numb all over already and now samrat.
When she heard samrat she suddenly broke down on the phone and she said- Samrat ive just lost my sister, do you realize that. I loved her like anything, so please stop making this hard for me, and just come here.
s- candy look im sorry. But I cant come alright.
d- why?
s- I… I just cant…
d- samrat. Gunjan hamesha tujhe kehti thin a ki uske antim sanskar tu karega. So please tu yeh uski aakhri wish manke puri karde samrat. Please come here.
Samrat closed his eyes and slowly breathed- I cant candy.
d- sam-
s- candy I loved her. how do you think I ll feel seeing her dead body in front of me. you know what I was planning to prupose her tonight, and you want me to….. SHITT….
And I threw the phone into the water in anger. And started running wildly all the way in the beach taking out all my frustration on the sand.
I returned back to gunjans home for the funeral. And I carried her dead body on my back.
I alongside dias dad burned her body.
And waited there till night time.
Then I returned home.
Every day passed slowly and serenly. It was like I was there but I wouldn't know a thing. I would sit at home puring through our photos. I would sleep at night and wake up the next day hoping it would all just turn out to be a bad dream. But again every morning I woke up to the same portrait of gunjan with a mala on it.
And that was when I knew that-
The hardest thing I had ever done was wake up and know you weren't there. Close my eyes and recall the last time you smiled at me.
That's when I truly realized how much you meant to me. and the fact that the pleasure o love is for a minute but the pain of it is for a life time.
I knew gunjan was the one, and without her I was nothing. I knew I would never be able to love anyone the way I had loved gunjan. And that is the most painful truth of love.
Hope u guys like it..
Plz
****
comment:
p_commentcount