**From & To Satish **( New Pictures Pl see pg 163) (Page 201)

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s.satishkumar

Goldie

s.satishkumar

Joined: 10 April 2006

Posts: 1872

Posted: 19 February 2013 at 9:12pm | IP Logged
students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.

One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: Cost - $29.99
Clinton : Cost - $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing 

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ap.meenamiganatina

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s.satishkumar

Goldie

s.satishkumar

Joined: 10 April 2006

Posts: 1872

Posted: 20 February 2013 at 5:55am | IP Logged
                        
ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND ON PATIENTS' HOSPITAL CHARTS



Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
 
  On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
 
  The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
   be depressed.

The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

  Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
 
 Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
 
  The patient refused autopsy.
 
 The patient has no previous history of suicides.
 
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
 
 Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
 only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days.
 
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch

She is numb from her toes down.

 While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
 
 The skin was moist and dry.
 
 Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
 
 Patient was alert and unresponsive.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
            until she got a divorce.
 
 I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job
            as a stockbroker instead.
 
 Skin: somewhat pale but present
 
 The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
 
 Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank, who felt we should
            sit on the abdomen and I agree.
 
 Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
 
 Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

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s.satishkumar

Goldie

s.satishkumar

Joined: 10 April 2006

Posts: 1872

Posted: 21 February 2013 at 1:40am | IP Logged
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialled 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.

Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.

When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."

"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.

The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."

"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"

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atina

Channel Moderator

atina

Joined: 19 January 2006

Posts: 9886

Posted: 21 February 2013 at 9:25am | IP Logged
This thread is hyperlinked in the mansion. Please visit the mansion to go thru this thread.
 
Once again sincere thanks to Sathish for being such an active member here.


Edited by atina - 22 February 2013 at 8:30am

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Jaymaa

IF-Sizzlerz

Jaymaa

Joined: 27 November 2012

Posts: 10588

Posted: 29 March 2013 at 11:23pm | IP Logged
.

Edited by Jaymaa - 14 August 2013 at 3:34pm

Jaymaa

IF-Sizzlerz

Jaymaa

Joined: 27 November 2012

Posts: 10588

Posted: 27 June 2013 at 4:15pm | IP Logged
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