**From & To Satish **( New Pictures Pl see pg 163) - Page 146

Posted: 11 years ago

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say,..."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Posted: 11 years ago
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

"Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
Posted: 11 years ago
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.

"Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Tillie,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace'."

"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.

"The first envelope contained $5,000 with a note, 'Please use this money to buy a nice casket.' So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket with such a comfortable lining that I know Sidney is resting very comfortably."

"The second envelope contained $10,000 with a note, 'Please use this for a nice funeral 'I arranged Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for everyone attending."

"And the third envelope?" asked her friends. "The third envelope contained $25,000 with a note, 'Please use this to buy a nice stone.'"

Holding her hand in the air, Tillie said... "So, do you like my stone?" showing off her 10 carat diamond ring.
Posted: 11 years ago
If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place" is the rock not hard?

How do you throw away a garbage can

Why do old men have hair in their ears

In some books why do they have blank pages at the very end

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Why does the glue in the bottle never dry up

Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?

If you tell someone they are being judgmental are you not being judgmental yourself?

Why do they call it "head over heels in love" if our head is always over our heels?

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone and it runs someone over in the street does it stop to help them?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?

Why is it than when you dial a wrong number it is never engaged?

Posted: 11 years ago
                                       Barfi

  I went and saw barfi yesterday evening and loved the experience of the film.Ranbir kapoor was fantastic and the rest of the crew kept up with him and a few even matched him step for step and frame by frame.

But firstly i must mention Ravi varman the cameraman for this film cos he has just done such a beautiful job.Most people will be aware of his earlier works such as anniyan,vettaiyadu vilayadu and dasavatharam.But the cinematography in this film is like a lesson in
ad film photography,framing and colors.Wow,a visual treat and then into the mix you throw the zany and yet tender story of  a mute,autistic person and a girl who is pining for true love.And into this add a fat cop,funny old men and a couple of  twisted people and voila what you get is a ride into the magic of cinema.Maya the other name of shakti creates so much illusions in life and to get away from that you go and experience the maya created by cinema.


               There were a few stand out moments but one touched and yes i am a sucker for senti scenes and yes my eyes did go moist.The scene where ranbir comes to visit ileana's parents and sees the future bridegroom and then comes and bids goodbye to her was absolutely beautiful and well acted.Ranbir is the heart and soul of the film but ably supported by both ileana and priyanka.Wonder why i felt or something familiar in ranbir's acting and then it struck me that it resembled a lot of kamal's style and expressions from the times of avargal,moondram pirai and pesum padam.That is just my expression and yet it made me realise how much we miss great perfomances from kamal.

 Priyanka took on the real tough role of playing an autistic person and has done a great job of pulling it off but for a few shots where a normal person's intelligence gleams through in the eyes.Well that is again me and i thought i caught it cos i always watch an actors eyes for that is where emotion and the heart of a good actor lies.


      I went to watch the film with no great expectation from ileana and i am happy to say she suprised me by delivering such a great perfomance.Stuck between two author backed roles being performed by two actors more experienced than her she still managed to capture our hearts with her beauty and gentle expressions.Wow.great
perfomance ileana.

                     Lastly saurabh shukla,lord what comic timing,what body language and imagine having to lug his paunch around and chase after the nimble ranbir.The scenes between him and ranbir were a riot and i was laughing aloud through out those scenes.


                            In the end the whole painting called barfi belongs to the artist called anurag basu for he has just done absolutely beautiful job.Take a bow maestro and i have become a huge fan of yours and will catch all of your future film in the cinema halls and not on pirated discs.People will walk away only with the actors in their heart but bringing them all together along with music,dialogues,screenplay and video is the really tough job and i hope all of you appreciate that in every scene and frame it is the director who is invisibly present,there and yet not there.


Posted: 11 years ago
Mirror mirror on the wall

Two maybe or just between two and three

The edge of the mirror on the teak cupboard reached down to my head

I would strain standing tip toe to get a vain glimpse of myself

maybe not in vain but out of sheer curiosity for the steel food plates

reflected my image but bent out of shape,head to east and jaw to west

The food rained and covered my neck and i strained to hold on to my face

But soon the spreading gravy wiped out the grotesque image or so i thought

more than eating i spent time making zig zags on the plate trying to catch an eye

trying to see a bit of lip but the oil in the food soon warped and filmed the reflection

Three going on four i tip and toed and saw my eyes in the mirror and was amazed

I saw myself as reflected and i gazed into my eyes for a fleeting second

many days and many hours were spent playing hide and seek with those eyes in the mirror

maybe secretly hoping the reflection would do something different from what i did

decades have rolled and i had stopped wondering about those eyes and those reflected memories

when one day back in my aunts house i faced the mirror and stood still

I looked around and as then and as now i was alone with my reflection

The mirror beckoned and i walked up to it and stood tall and gazed into those eyes

The years rolled back and like then i knelt down,down to the ground and slowly crouching i

played hide and seek with the mirror

crouched i first saw my eyes,then my nose and raising myself i saw my torso

But unlike then now the lines had changed,and in the back i didn't see my father or mother

But something shimmered and i saw her and in her i saw me

the glassy surface has cracked,the million reflections absorbed and dissolved

but now i am reflected but still safe in her heart and that will do
Posted: 11 years ago

My husband and I are both in an Internet business, but he's the one who truly lives, eat, and breathes computers. I finally realized how bad it had gotten when I was scratching his back one day.

"No, not there," he directed. "Scroll down."



"Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny.

"My mother can," Danny replied.

"Really?"

"Yes," Danny told her, "she takes one look at my report card and can tell me exactly what will happen when my Daddy gets home.


Posted: 11 years ago
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world
 
                                                                               Albert Einstein

Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable

                                                Shakespeare

A belief is not merely an idea the mind possesses. It is an idea that possesses the mind. ~

                                                                                Robert Oxton Bolton

We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. ~

                                                                              Chuck Palahnuik


Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it. ~

                                                                                        Terry Pratchett
Posted: 11 years ago

1. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

2. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

3. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

4. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

5. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

6. Youth is when we are always hunting greener pastures, and middle age is when we can barely mow the one we've got.

7. Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

8. A ship is safe in the harbor but that isn't what ships are for.

9. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down a flight of stairs.

Posted: 11 years ago

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out all of his beer.

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