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DOTW-Does-Life changes after marriage? (Page 2)

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-Sarah-

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Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:18am | IP Logged
Originally posted by _charu_

Originally posted by 5cents

Well, I'm not sure abt the beqarari bit. As I'm married to my childhood sweet heart! We have been together for I don't know how many years but married recently.  I know that in life we should always live in the moment because once it passes we can never get that moment back. The past no longer matters. And the future's still too far away to worry about anyway.Enjoy every stage of your relationship. All we have is now. So we should always make the most of each and every moment and focus on that.

Aks enjoy these courtship days.  Focus on the now. Focus on Naitik & You. Forget the past(Rituraj bit).  Forget the pain and heartache. Aks knows that he loves her....hon, feel the love! And it's simply unfair to think that he would change after marriage. With him she saw her cynic & jaded self slipping away. She was becoming chirpy again. He completely adores her, cares for her (itna tho samah aya hoga aks ko)She has to get this that Naitik loves her without any condition and without any reason but   he just loves her.

 Marriage is an eternal union of two best friends, willing to attempt to battle life's problems together. Personally, I got married because it was an excuse for a big party and it makes some legal things so much easier. We got lots of presents, my mother exploded with pride and we had a really good day and lots of memories of friends and family. It hasn't really changed our day to day lives (apart from new saucepans & curtains).


Like all things worthwhile, a little sweat makes marriage sweeter just my 5cents

 
ur very lucky 5 cents to be in a relationship like this......
 
It's been 5 years since i got married...Before marriage u can say, i was exactly like Naitik...n i had to face a lot of problems from my in laws side bec. of my attitude ....... but my husband supported me throughout.....he clearly said this to me that he can leave his family, his house for me incase i'm not able to adjust with them....but then i thought that if he has so much faith in me then i should try never let him down......
 
his love changed me to the extent tht even i was surprised......then i got to the stage where he could not give me that much of time and attention which i was used to.........trust me i was shattered..tht was the toughest phase of my life......but with time, i accepted it .......and diverted my mind to other things so tht i don't go into that "nobody loves me" syndrome !  with time i learnt that the more you give in a relationship the more you get....so always be willing to GIVE FIRST...don't expect tht ur husband  will initiate....men normally aren't that expressive....n if after marriage ur expecting him to behave like a boyfriend then well, he'll never agree to these stupid ideas...
aww Charu!!
i didnt know u were married!
i kind of learned from u alot
but idk its hard choosing if u want love or arrange u know?
r u still having problems?

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_charu_

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_charu_

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Posted: 17 April 2009 at 11:21am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sarah112

Originally posted by _charu_

Originally posted by 5cents

 
ur very lucky 5 cents to be in a relationship like this......
 
It's been 5 years since i got married...Before marriage u can say, i was exactly like Naitik...n i had to face a lot of problems from my in laws side bec. of my attitude ....... but my husband supported me throughout.....he clearly said this to me that he can leave his family, his house for me incase i'm not able to adjust with them....but then i thought that if he has so much faith in me then i should try never let him down......
 
his love changed me to the extent tht even i was surprised......then i got to the stage where he could not give me that much of time and attention which i was used to.........trust me i was shattered..tht was the toughest phase of my life......but with time, i accepted it .......and diverted my mind to other things so tht i don't go into that "nobody loves me" syndrome !  with time i learnt that the more you give in a relationship the more you get....so always be willing to GIVE FIRST...don't expect tht ur husband  will initiate....men normally aren't that expressive....n if after marriage ur expecting him to behave like a boyfriend then well, he'll never agree to these stupid ideas...
aww Charu!!
i didnt know u were married!
i kind of learned from u alot
but idk its hard choosing if u want love or arrange u know?
r u still having problems?
 
Sarah, I'm married n I have a lovely daughter too..she's 3 and half yrs old Smile
 
did u learn frm me? Smile i'm honoured...actually it's easier said than done but i keep trying...
 
Sarah, it's upto you to decide whether you want love or arranged marriage......don't think the marriage is arranged or love, just think and rethink whether or not you're happy about it...u should be very sure of your decision .....if it's arranged marriage, don't hesitate in meeting him twice or thrice till u make up ur mind........In my case, I knew my marriage wud be arranged only bec. i don't trust my choice....i think my parents made the best decision for me....and i fell in love with the person who was destined  for me Smile just like yrkkh....and because we loved each other so much before marriage, it became easy for me to adjust in the family after marriage....to change myself for the sake of the person who i loved..........Sarah, you love one person and marry one person but u have to LIVE with his family ...you end up spending more time with his family rather than him Big smile  n it was not easy for me like i said...
 
problems? Sarah, problems keep coming and going..what is important is tht ur bond must be strong enuf to survive all kinds of tests of destiny...i'll tell u where my marriage stands today...we love each other , it never changed after marriage, we're there for each other, we care for each other, we know each other inside out, we know each other's limitations, habits, nature.....our day starts with i love you and ends with i love you........i can say tht my husband knows me more than nyone in this world (just like my mom..i keep telling him u've taken my mom's place)  , even if i don't say anything, he comes to know what's in my mind BUT we don't have time for each other...We hardly meet for 30 mins in a day.....earlier we used to talk for hours at a length, now we hardly talk for 3 mins on the phone ! after tht i'm thinking n he's thinking what more to say LOL but i'm living with this fact now....and yrkkh has helped me change...bec. of this serial, i'm happy and when i'm happy, i manage to keep everyone happy ! Smile
 
 
U can say tht my problem is similar to Shaurya and Varsha's problem...only difference is tht i felt it after so many yrs of my marriage and they realized it on their honeymoon itself LOL


Edited by _charu_ - 17 April 2009 at 11:23am

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moonlight08

-Sarah-

IF-Rockerz

-Sarah-

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Posted: 17 April 2009 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by _charu_

Originally posted by sarah112

Originally posted by _charu_

Originally posted by 5cents

 
ur very lucky 5 cents to be in a relationship like this......
 
It's been 5 years since i got married...Before marriage u can say, i was exactly like Naitik...n i had to face a lot of problems from my in laws side bec. of my attitude ....... but my husband supported me throughout.....he clearly said this to me that he can leave his family, his house for me incase i'm not able to adjust with them....but then i thought that if he has so much faith in me then i should try never let him down......
 
his love changed me to the extent tht even i was surprised......then i got to the stage where he could not give me that much of time and attention which i was used to.........trust me i was shattered..tht was the toughest phase of my life......but with time, i accepted it .......and diverted my mind to other things so tht i don't go into that "nobody loves me" syndrome !  with time i learnt that the more you give in a relationship the more you get....so always be willing to GIVE FIRST...don't expect tht ur husband  will initiate....men normally aren't that expressive....n if after marriage ur expecting him to behave like a boyfriend then well, he'll never agree to these stupid ideas...
aww Charu!!
i didnt know u were married!
i kind of learned from u alot
but idk its hard choosing if u want love or arrange u know?
r u still having problems?
 
Sarah, I'm married n I have a lovely daughter too..she's 3 and half yrs old Smile
 
did u learn frm me? Smile i'm honoured...actually it's easier said than done but i keep trying...
 
Sarah, it's upto you to decide whether you want love or arranged marriage......don't think the marriage is arranged or love, just think and rethink whether or not you're happy about it...u should be very sure of your decision .....if it's arranged marriage, don't hesitate in meeting him twice or thrice till u make up ur mind........In my case, I knew my marriage wud be arranged only bec. i don't trust my choice....i think my parents made the best decision for me....and i fell in love with the person who was destined  for me Smile just like yrkkh....and because we loved each other so much before marriage, it became easy for me to adjust in the family after marriage....to change myself for the sake of the person who i loved..........Sarah, you love one person and marry one person but u have to LIVE with his family ...you end up spending more time with his family rather than him Big smile  n it was not easy for me like i said...
 
problems? Sarah, problems keep coming and going..what is important is tht ur bond must be strong enuf to survive all kinds of tests of destiny...i'll tell u where my marriage stands today...we love each other , it never changed after marriage, we're there for each other, we care for each other, we know each other inside out, we know each other's limitations, habits, nature.....our day starts with i love you and ends with i love you........i can say tht my husband knows me more than nyone in this world (just like my mom..i keep telling him u've taken my mom's place)  , even if i don't say anything, he comes to know what's in my mind BUT we don't have time for each other...We hardly meet for 30 mins in a day.....earlier we used to talk for hours at a length, now we hardly talk for 3 mins on the phone ! after tht i'm thinking n he's thinking what more to say LOL but i'm living with this fact now....and yrkkh has helped me change...bec. of this serial, i'm happy and when i'm happy, i manage to keep everyone happy ! Smile
 
 
U can say tht my problem is similar to Shaurya and Varsha's problem...only difference is tht i felt it after so many yrs of my marriage and they realized it on their honeymoon itself LOL
 
aww thank u so much Charu!HugHugHug
i did learn from u!
and im exactly like u in some ways i think my parents will choose a better guy than i would
and i would meet that guy alot of times until i felt comfortable with him.
its b/c i want to work after marriage. I mean im going to be  a doctor. But some in-laws allow that right? But i dont really want to stay with my in-laws that much i mean after i get money i can by my own house.
why didnt u work after marriage?
really u have a daughter! wats her name?Big smile

purplestar22

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Posted: 17 April 2009 at 1:23pm | IP Logged
I think life does change but it in a good way!!

_charu_

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_charu_

Joined: 05 August 2007

Posts: 21327

Posted: 18 April 2009 at 12:01am | IP Logged
Do all couples face the problem which Shaurya & Varsha are facing? that husband and wife don't have time for each other & hence they feel the love between them has faded away? If yes then how should we tackle this problem? (of course not Shaurya's way)

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moonlight08

_charu_

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_charu_

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Posts: 21327

Posted: 18 April 2009 at 12:23am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sarah112

 
aww thank u so much Charu!HugHugHug
i did learn from u!
and im exactly like u in some ways i think my parents will choose a better guy than i would
and i would meet that guy alot of times until i felt comfortable with him.
its b/c i want to work after marriage. I mean im going to be  a doctor. But some in-laws allow that right? But i dont really want to stay with my in-laws that much i mean after i get money i can by my own house.
why didnt u work after marriage?
really u have a daughter! wats her name?Big smile
 
Education alone gives you the confidence to make choices in your life......to decide the best for yourself.....just believe in what  you're doing...Smile


Edited by _charu_ - 18 April 2009 at 12:23am

Mages

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Mages

Joined: 03 July 2005

Posts: 39337

Posted: 18 April 2009 at 3:05am | IP Logged
well according to me yes after marriage life will change in the way that we have more responsiblities in our shoulders....example before marriage we did have responsiblities towards our parents and siblings but then at times we take for granted like we are depended on our parents for money and personal stuff....but once we get married all that pampering needs to vanish away and becomes matured so that we not only take care of our husbands but also his families....so in that way life changes what we were in our parents house life will not be the same in husband's house....as there is more responsibilities in our shoulders....life changes in that way
 
as far as love concern between husband and wife and like akshara says beqaraari can never end....if you trust...understand and have faith in your husband than this jouney of love between husband-wife will never change at all.....love is something can never describe nor will change its only how you portray your love towards your husband....this one feeling that can never change after marriage even at times it fades alittle bit(misunderstanding and small fights)still the love remains fresh in the hearts of all husband and wife....
 
akshara needs to learn that......she should stop taking advices and just listen to her heart and it will show the way and answer all her questions

_charu_

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_charu_

Joined: 05 August 2007

Posts: 21327

Posted: 18 April 2009 at 8:22am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mages

well according to me yes after marriage life will change in the way that we have more responsiblities in our shoulders....example before marriage we did have responsiblities towards our parents and siblings but then at times we take for granted like we are depended on our parents for money and personal stuff....but once we get married all that pampering needs to vanish away and becomes matured so that we not only take care of our husbands but also his families....so in that way life changes what we were in our parents house life will not be the same in husband's house....as there is more responsibilities in our shoulders....life changes in that way
 
as far as love concern between husband and wife and like akshara says beqaraari can never end....if you trust...understand and have faith in your husband than this jouney of love between husband-wife will never change at all.....love is something can never describe nor will change its only how you portray your love towards your husband....this one feeling that can never change after marriage even at times it fades alittle bit(misunderstanding and small fights)still the love remains fresh in the hearts of all husband and wife....
 
akshara needs to learn that......she should stop taking advices and just listen to her heart and it will show the way and answer all her questions
 
I think with time, love changes it's form....it never fades away, it's there but in a different form...After marriage if Naitik doesn't support Akshara in her studies, does that mean his love has changed for her?

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