DOTW-Does-Life changes after marriage?

_charu_

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Joined: 05 August 2007

Posts: 16632

Posted: 16 April 2009 at 11:15am | IP Logged

Akshara ma'm is confused bec. of what her friends told her about arranged marriages ..Also Varsha told her that everything changes after marriage...and she's worried now tht it's gonna happen with her.....what was tht word which she used? yes...wo "beqarari" nahi rehti ! Akshara ji beqarai kaise rahegi? when husband and wife are together 24X7 , from where will "beqarari" come? Silly

Infact beqarari toh ekdum nahi rehti ! husband and wife get so used to each other..just like ur parents..do u remember everyday how much you love them? how much you care for them? the same happens with every couple....

that's why i wanted her not to take ny advice from anybody about marriage bec. her experience will be different & unique...Right now, she's not using her brains...she's so much dependent on people around her for ideas ! Varsha, her friends and now her dadi ...but she doesn't wanna talk to Naitik ....the person whoz most important....she's decided to spend her life with him but she's happy with the fact that he loves her..she doesn't wanna go a step ahead and try to understand him.....each one of us have expectations from people around us ....we remember taking but we forget giving....

Edited by _charu_ - 16 April 2009 at 11:59am

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moonlight08,

-Sarah-

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Joined: 04 January 2007

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Posted: 16 April 2009 at 11:23am | IP Logged

Hello Everyone! Big smile

This week's DOTW does life change after marriage?

(Thanks Charu, I got the idea from u! Big smile

)

Akshara ma'm is confused bec. of what her friends told her about arranged marriages ..Also Varsha told her that everything changes after marriage...and she's worried now tht it's gonna happen with her.....what was tht word which she used? yes...wo "beqarari" nahi rehti ! Akshara ji beqarai kaise rahegi? when husband and wife are together 24X7 , from where will "beqarari" come? Silly

Infact beqarari toh ekdum nahi rehti ! husband and wife get so used to each other..just like ur parents..do u remember everyday how much you love them? how much you care for them? the same happens with every couple....

that's why i wanted her not to take ny advice from anybody about marriage bec. her experience will be different & unique...Right now, she's not using her brains...she's so much dependent on people around her for ideas ! Varsha, her friends and now her dadi ...but she doesn't wanna talk to Naitik ....the person whoz most important....she's decided to spend her life with him but she's happy with the fact that he loves her..she doesn't wanna go a step ahear and try to understand him.....each one of us has expectations from people around us ....we remember taking but we forget giving....

(Thanks Charu for starting off the discussion!)

Have Fun!!

Love,

Sarah

Edited by Moderator to Merge topic

Moderator's Note:
Topic Merged Kindly use this thread for DOTW

Edited by sweet_shagun - 16 April 2009 at 11:57am

Tafseer

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Joined: 19 March 2009

Posts: 24592

Posted: 16 April 2009 at 11:24am | IP Logged

Originally posted by _charu_

Akshara ma'm is confused bec. of what her friends told her about arranged marriages ..Also Varsha told her that everything changes after marriage...and she's worried now tht it's gonna happen with her.....what was tht word which she used? yes...wo "beqarari" nahi rehti ! Akshara ji beqarai kaise rahegi? when husband and wife are together 24X7 , from where will "beqarari" come? Silly

Infact beqarari toh ekdum nahi rehti ! husband and wife get so used to each other..just like ur parents..do u remember everyday how much you love them? how much you care for them? the same happens with every couple....

that's why i wanted her not to take ny advice from anybody about marriage bec. her experience will be different & unique...Right now, she's not using her brains...she's so much dependent on people around her for ideas ! Varsha, her friends and now her dadi ...but she doesn't wanna talk to Naitik ....the person whoz most important....she's decided to spend her life with him but she's happy with the fact that he loves her..she doesn't wanna go a step ahear and try to understand him.....each one of us has expectations from people around us ....we remember taking but we forget giving....

absolutely!!!!! Akshara should use her own brains......she should have atleast answered Naitik's phone call.....she is always dependent on others for da views...its her own life, so she shoild take her decisions.
She should understand Naitik as he is da most important person in her life... LOL

...rest depend on fridayzzzz episode.....they dint even showed da precap Cry

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bhaskar_bharti, moonlight08,

5cents

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Posted: 16 April 2009 at 12:04pm | IP Logged

Well, I'm not sure abt the beqarari bit. As I'm married to my childhood sweet heart! We have been together for I don't know how many years but married recently. I know that in life we should always live in the moment because once it passes we can never get that moment back. The past no longer matters. And the future's still too far away to worry about anyway.Enjoy every stage of your relationship. All we have is now. So we should always make the most of each and every moment and focus on that.

Aks enjoy these courtship days. Focus on the now. Focus on Naitik & You. Forget the past(Rituraj bit). Forget the pain and heartache. Aks knows that he loves her....hon, feel the love! And it's simply unfair to think that he would change after marriage. With him she saw her cynic & jaded self slipping away. She was becoming chirpy again. He completely adores her, cares for her (itna tho samah aya hoga aks ko)She has to get this that Naitik loves her without any condition and without any reason but he just loves her.

Marriage is an eternal union of two best friends, willing to attempt to battle life's problems together. Personally, I got married because it was an excuse for a big party and it makes some legal things so much easier. We got lots of presents, my mother exploded with pride and we had a really good day and lots of memories of friends and family. It hasn't really changed our day to day lives (apart from new saucepans & curtains).

Like all things worthwhile, a little sweat makes marriage sweeter just my 5cents

missindia26

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Joined: 17 November 2007

Posts: 6207

Posted: 16 April 2009 at 1:24pm | IP Logged

Of course life will change

But that doesnt mean its a bad thing

I agree Akshara should stop listening to everyone else, and focus on her heart, and on Naitik

Bhumika18

Senior Member

Joined: 24 September 2007

Posts: 390

Posted: 16 April 2009 at 1:37pm | IP Logged

I completely agree with 5cents that Akshara really needs to enjoy the time she has Naitik right now. She also needs to start using her brains a bit more; rationalize more as well. She is so gullible and innocent; I sometimes ask myself that I doubt if any girl in India is like that anymore especially the ones that attend college. As for the question does life change after marriage? It changes but now it is you and your husband that battle the life together, you grow together and learn about each other as the time goes. I personally don't think that life changes in the way that Akshara is imagining it to change, I mean I still go to college doing a PhD and still maintain my house.... but apart from all that it doesn't change too much, you just gain more time with your best friend.

_charu_

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Joined: 05 August 2007

Posts: 16632

Posted: 16 April 2009 at 11:36pm | IP Logged

life changes every moment ! people change, their nature change, their temperament change with every passng minute according to the environment ! Aksh will not know n her life will turn upside down ! so the best option is to ACCEPT the change ! this courtship period is porbably the best in everybody's life (incase of arranged marriage) so Aksh must make the best of it .......In future even if Aksh wants those days to come back , they won't.........Naitik will not be the same after marriage.......but Aksh , trust the power of love.....it can make nything possible....

Varsha & Shaurya faced the same problem...Before marriage they had a lot of time for each other, the love the passion, they wanted to be with each other but after marriage, everything changed...they r trying to get that spark back in their relationship but is it possible?

Akshara's insecurities are not wrong...We fall in love with a person , we marry a person but we have to LIVE with his family as well (i.e. if it's a joint family ) I think u really need to be a superwoman , an Ekta kapoor heroine to handle everything at the same time....each person in the family has a different temperament , u have to understand each n everything which takes time...so don't give up and give urself some time..

Edited by _charu_ - 16 April 2009 at 11:40pm

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moonlight08,

_charu_

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Posts: 16632

Posted: 17 April 2009 at 4:13am | IP Logged

Originally posted by 5cents

Well, I'm not sure abt the beqarari bit. As I'm married to my childhood sweet heart! We have been together for I don't know how many years but married recently. I know that in life we should always live in the moment because once it passes we can never get that moment back. The past no longer matters. And the future's still too far away to worry about anyway.Enjoy every stage of your relationship. All we have is now. So we should always make the most of each and every moment and focus on that.

Aks enjoy these courtship days. Focus on the now. Focus on Naitik & You. Forget the past(Rituraj bit). Forget the pain and heartache. Aks knows that he loves her....hon, feel the love! And it's simply unfair to think that he would change after marriage. With him she saw her cynic & jaded self slipping away. She was becoming chirpy again. He completely adores her, cares for her (itna tho samah aya hoga aks ko)She has to get this that Naitik loves her without any condition and without any reason but he just loves her.

Marriage is an eternal union of two best friends, willing to attempt to battle life's problems together. Personally, I got married because it was an excuse for a big party and it makes some legal things so much easier. We got lots of presents, my mother exploded with pride and we had a really good day and lots of memories of friends and family. It hasn't really changed our day to day lives (apart from new saucepans & curtains).

Like all things worthwhile, a little sweat makes marriage sweeter just my 5cents

ur very lucky 5 cents to be in a relationship like this......

It's been 5 years since i got married...Before marriage u can say, i was exactly like Naitik...n i had to face a lot of problems from my in laws side bec. of my attitude ....... but my husband supported me throughout.....he clearly said this to me that he can leave his family, his house for me incase i'm not able to adjust with them....but then i thought that if he has so much faith in me then i should try never let him down......

his love changed me to the extent tht even i was surprised......then i got to the stage where he could not give me that much of time and attention which i was used to.........trust me i was shattered..tht was the toughest phase of my life......but with time, i accepted it .......and diverted my mind to other things so tht i don't go into that "nobody loves me" syndrome ! with time i learnt that the more you give in a relationship the more you get....so always be willing to GIVE FIRST...don't expect tht ur husband will initiate....men normally aren't that expressive....n if after marriage ur expecting him to behave like a boyfriend then well, he'll never agree to these stupid ideas...

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moonlight08,

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