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Why are indians obsessed with Fairness? (Page 7)

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angelic_devil

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souro

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Posted: 17 April 2009 at 2:23pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sandya_rao7

Originally posted by souro

Who is making them feel inferior?? It's not like anyone is giving them less privileges or rights because of their colour, so it's not an apartheid system. It is they who're making themselves feel inferior by costantly cribbing about why people prefer fair. Why can't they just accept it as a fact that it's other people's business what they want to prefer??

y wont they feel inferior if they have to settle for less than something they deserve just bcoz they are not fair? wht if an educated girls gets married to a guy who is less educated than her and a fari girl gets married to a guy who is much moreeeee educated to her?

You can't blame the more educated guy because he likes fair girls. It's his life, he will be the one who will have to spend the rest of his life with his wife. Will anyone else help him in living his life. No, and that's why noone has the right to judge what choices he make.
 
View fairness as just that then. It makes your features more prominent (except for the eyes maybe). So, if someone wants to be fair, s/he is just trying to accentuate his/her natural features.
fairness make u look fat.
Maybe people like to look fat and prefers people who looks fatter. Ain't that a personal choice too. What right does anyone else have to say that people shouldn't prefer fair cos it makes one look fat.
 
Who created it?? The literatures and currently the movies.
if u talk abt the new genertion then u will find all the new actors are exceptionally fair and the actresses are quiet dusky so that is a change but in real life if u see the mentality hasnt changed till now
 
See, there u go again. Why is it so important that people change their preferences?? People will like whoever they want to, except for in the off chance that they like criminals the only thing we can do is accept it.
 
 Even they are the personal opinions that are getting expressed and somtimes it is about what the public will like more. If I think that fair people are more beautiful what is wrong in that. And if a majority of the people thinks like me and that becomes a culture in your opinion, even then what is wrong in it. After everything is said and done, it still remains a personal choice.
Do we ask the same questions if someone or a group of people or a whole nation sees dark skin as superior beauty??

that what y do we confine ourselves to definig beauty?

If you've read my earlier post you'll already know my views about it. You want people to give up defining beauty, fine. I'll ask you to start with yourself then first. Look at your room. Why did you arrange the furnitures in a particular way?? Why did you paint your walls the particular shade that you liked?? You could've easily played eenie meenie minie moe with the paint catalogue and picked up a random shade for your room. Why did you choose the particular clothes that you bought, there were thousands others where you bought them from, if they were of your size what was wrong in buying them?? Why do you like the mobile phone that you use, why not one of those bricks from the 90's?? Why are you using the computer wallpaper that you are using, why not a wall paper of Saddam Hussain getting hanged?? Why does most people keep cats and dogs as pets, why not snakes or spiders??
 
As long as it's a matter of personal choice, there'll be personal emotions attached with it. Personal choices are not completely rational and you can't totally define them by logic. And emotion about aesthetic sense is innate for every human being. You can't change it even if you want to cos you won't be able to change yourself in the first place.
 
if u r talking abt personal choice then there is nothing wrong in racism and nothing wrong in casetism also its there personal choice.. that is also a personal choice. even girls prefering rich guys is also not wrong
 
First of all, girls preferring rich guys is not wrong. Girls want financial security and there is nothing wrong with that.
Secondly, racism or casteism is wrong because it involves giving the coloured or people of lower caste less privileges or physically or verbally insulting them. What we have here is choices that people make freely without hurting anyone or giving them less rights. You can't compare apples to oranges.



Edited by souro - 17 April 2009 at 2:47pm

souro

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Posted: 17 April 2009 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sandya_rao7

Originally posted by souro

I won't say obsessed, I'd say people in India prefer fair skin tone. I don't think there's anything wrong in that. If everything is equal except for the skin tone between two people and one has to choose between the two of them and the person chooses the one with the fair skin, what is wrong in that. We all have our preferences, so what's so wrong if people prefer fair over dark.
so thats a wrong thing. y should u prefer according to skin tone? people should always be judged by their qualities.not skin tone. 
 
You didn't understand what I tried to say, did you. Anyways, I'll try once again. Say two guys, one dark and one fair, are available for marriage and a girl has to marry one of them. The guys are equal in every way, from looks, education, bank balance, personality to family background, except for the skin colour. But the girl chooses one of them (it can be the fair one or the dark one) because she likes that skin tone more. Will you say that it's wrong??
 
People also have preference regarding shape, size, weight when it comes to looks (not just of a person but of anything). So, is that wrong too?? Why does girls wear makeup?? Why are we particular about our attire?? If preferring fair over dark is wrong then all this should be wrong too. In that case the whole concept of beauty is also wrong.
y is it considered that only fair skin is beautiful? who has set this rule? i dont think fair is beautiful. if that would have been the case then all the europenans would be the most beautiful and not indians.
 
We're running around in circles here. If I consider fair to be more beautiful, that's my problem, why should you get all heated up with it. Noone has set any rule here, people choose fair or dark out of their own free will. If I say that a girl can't be beautiful and dark at the same time ain't that my prerogative, why should you be bothered about that. Is the approval of others so important??
And are you saying that Indian are most beautiful, more than the Europeans?? If that's the case, you are contradicting yourself that people shouldn't confine themselves to defining beauty.
 
If defining something as more beautiful is wrong then we are doing something wrong in every step of our life, cos everyday we choose something as more beautiful over the other, whether it's in our home or at work, we are constantly deciding which is better looking (other than decisions that are purely based on finance).
 
i find bipasha more beautiful than amisha. its not about chooseing one over the other. its about setting the ground rule that only fair is beautiful. 
 
Good for you, do you see me objecting to your choice. No, I'm least bothered. Similarly, if I say that I find Amisha to be more beautiful than Bipasha, I will expect that you shouldn't have any objection to that too.
 
It's only wrong if the person's whole judgement is based on the skin tone. Like if there are two candidates for a job and even though the dark guy is more qualified in every aspect the employer chooses the fair guy, then it's wrong. Other than that, whether the employer personally prefers to marry a fair girl or wants his daughter to be fair, is entirely his personal choice, who are we to dictate what he should prefer.

y? if giving a job is based on qualifications then marrying should also be based on that only and not merely skin tone. i find so many guys refusing girl who have good features, educated, modern everything to girls who are just fair not even beautiful.

Wow, now you're comparing jobs to marriage. I don't think you really want a reply for this one. LOL


Edited by souro - 17 April 2009 at 2:49pm

angelic_devil

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Mindbender

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Posted: 17 April 2009 at 11:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sandya_rao7

preference is a good thing but not mentality. its the mentality that a fair person is more beautiful which is wrong. and as i said not being fair does take away oppotunities from a person just like rascism. and you and me both know that not fair people are subject to verbal accusation. that is what is called mentality. this mentality does affect a society. if something dosent affect us it is never an issue.
and just the wayu said jsut like indians cannot be the most beautiful in the world the same way only fair people cannot be the most beautiful as per the mentality we have.
the conclusion is u r saying its only a preference to choose a fair person over a dark skinned one. i say its a its a mentality which is as wrong as racism bcoz it is discrimination.

Well, all i'd like to say about all this is......since you are generally talking about marriage..........a successful marriage isn't ever based on what kind of skin tones you have. So don't worryLOL

Regarding the fact that preferring fair person over dark skinned one is discrimination , racist ,etc, then we are discriminating at every step as souro ji said ! I think your responses to the above two posts of souro ji individually will help us get a more clear insight on how you think . At the moment it seems pretty illogical and inconsistent to me. Sorry !Smile

angelic_devil

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souro

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Posted: 18 April 2009 at 5:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sandya_rao7

souro. i think its very much logical to marry someone for his/her qualities and the way u r with him/her irresective of theri skin tone or wealth. therefore choosing them as per their qualities is more feasible just like in a job. dont we take a girl/guys interview for marriage?

Sandya people do look at qualities while marrying. Qualities here are aimed at increasing the compatibility between the partners. And compatibility criteria differs from person to person. Wealth and looks are just two factors in that set of compatibility. And skin colour a sub factor of looks.
I'd like to add one more thing since you're persistent in claiming that job and marriage are equal. They are not. There's a basic difference between job and marriage which you're missing. And the difference is in emotional attachment. You don't sleep, eat, live with your boss 24x7. You don't make babies or see dreams about what you want to achieve in life with your boss. Bosses change every few years, will you change your spouse like that too??

 
preference is a good thing but not mentality. its the mentality that a fair person is more beautiful which is wrong.

What you call mentality, I like to call preference, one's personal choice. And it's not wrong IMO. If you view everyone as equally beautiful irrespective of their looks (which you certainly don't since you've already chosen Bipasha over Amisha), then it's your personal choice and nobody's gonna beat you up for that.


and as i said not being fair does take away oppotunities from a person just like rascism. and you and me both know that not fair people are subject to verbal accusation. that is what is called mentality. this mentality does affect a society. if something dosent affect us it is never an issue.

Sorry, I don't see dark people getting less opportunities, not in India at least. Now, don't go saying that air hostess, receptionist and likes are chosen heavily based on their looks. Looking good is just a part of the job in these cases along with the necessary skills required.

 
and just the way u said jsut like indians cannot be the most beautiful in the world the same way only fair people cannot be the most beautiful as per the mentality we have.

Don't put words in my mouth Sandya. I never said anything about who can be or can't be the most beautiful people. You were the one saying that Indians are the most beautiful more than Europeans. And the discussion about the most beautiful person is always wide open as opinions will widely vary.
 
the conclusion is u r saying its only a preference to choose a fair person over a dark skinned one. i say its a its a mentality which is as wrong as racism bcoz it is discrimination.

I've said it earlier and I'm saying it again Sandya, you don't want people to discriminate then try to prove that you don't discriminate among anything in your life in the first place. Can you do that?? And as long as people are not harming anyone by liking fair people as more beautiful, what right does anyone have to ask them to stop doing so??

..RamKiJanaki..

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Posted: 18 April 2009 at 7:09am | IP Logged
Originally posted by souro

Originally posted by sandya_rao7

souro. i think its very much logical to marry someone for his/her qualities and the way u r with him/her irresective of theri skin tone or wealth. therefore choosing them as per their qualities is more feasible just like in a job. dont we take a girl/guys interview for marriage?

Sandya people do look at qualities while marrying. Qualities here are aimed at increasing the compatibility between the partners. And compatibility criteria differs from person to person. Wealth and looks are just two factors in that set of compatibility. And skin colour a sub factor of looks.
I'd like to add one more thing since you're persistent in claiming that job and marriage are equal. They are not. There's a basic difference between job and marriage which you're missing. And the difference is in emotional attachment. You don't sleep, eat, live with your boss 24x7. You don't make babies or see dreams about what you want to achieve in life with your boss. Bosses change every few years, will you change your spouse like that too??

 
preference is a good thing but not mentality. its the mentality that a fair person is more beautiful which is wrong.

What you call mentality, I like to call preference, one's personal choice. And it's not wrong IMO. If you view everyone as equally beautiful irrespective of their looks (which you certainly don't since you've already chosen Bipasha over Amisha), then it's your personal choice and nobody's gonna beat you up for that.


and as i said not being fair does take away oppotunities from a person just like rascism. and you and me both know that not fair people are subject to verbal accusation. that is what is called mentality. this mentality does affect a society. if something dosent affect us it is never an issue.

Sorry, I don't see dark people getting less opportunities, not in India at least. Now, don't go saying that air hostess, receptionist and likes are chosen heavily based on their looks. Looking good is just a part of the job in these cases along with the necessary skills required.

 
and just the way u said jsut like indians cannot be the most beautiful in the world the same way only fair people cannot be the most beautiful as per the mentality we have.

Don't put words in my mouth Sandya. I never said anything about who can be or can't be the most beautiful people. You were the one saying that Indians are the most beautiful more than Europeans. And the discussion about the most beautiful person is always wide open as opinions will widely vary.
 
the conclusion is u r saying its only a preference to choose a fair person over a dark skinned one. i say its a its a mentality which is as wrong as racism bcoz it is discrimination.

I've said it earlier and I'm saying it again Sandya, you don't want people to discriminate then try to prove that you don't discriminate among anything in your life in the first place. Can you do that?? And as long as people are not harming anyone by liking fair people as more beautiful, what right does anyone have to ask them to stop doing so??

 
Like your explanation Souri; very well said.Clap I'm not going to say one is right and one is wrong, because I agree with both views here, but the way you explained your views is really great.Clap
 
As for me, I agree that prefering some kind of people to the other is a personal preference, and I believe that as long as no one insults another person for the way they look, and makes them feel bad about themselves, why is personal preference wrong? We have different preferences in everything. Some people like romance novels verses mystery novels. Does that make people who like romance novels or people who like mystery novels racist? Likewise, as long as people don't insult others about their looks, it is not wrong to prefer a dark skinned person or a light skinned person. 

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