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Advantages and Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages

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..RamKiJanaki..

IF-Stunnerz

..RamKiJanaki..

Joined: 20 August 2008

Posts: 44392

Posted: 11 April 2009 at 3:45pm | IP Logged
Please answer these questions.Smile
 
1. What are the advantages of an arranged marriage for you?
2. Disadvantages?
3. Do you think divorces occur more in love marriages or arranged marriages?
4. Would you say "yes" to an arranged marriage if the person is from a good family, has a successful job, is liberal minded, and if you do not like anyone else?

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Anam_naan

Goldie

Anam_naan

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 1186

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 4:30am | IP Logged
I think a marriage should be both love nd arrange ..or arrange nd love.
 
It should hve both..
if u go for 1..its gonna be unsucessful....
 
I truely dnt believe in arrange marriges...i think arrange marriges r a big reason for divorce....Hw can u live nd love a person whom u dnt knw at all..dat unknow becomes ur husband .wat if u both r nt similar..wat if u hve to adjust nd make compromises..
wat if u just can tolerate him....
 
I m just nt into arrange marriges..I dnt like de..3% arrange marriges according to me gets sucessful...dat also dose when people r either dum or make compromises eaisly.

..RamKiJanaki..

IF-Stunnerz

..RamKiJanaki..

Joined: 20 August 2008

Posts: 44392

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 5:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Anam_naan

I think a marriage should be both love nd arrange ..or arrange nd love.
 
It should hve both..
if u go for 1..its gonna be unsucessful....
 
I truely dnt believe in arrange marriges...i think arrange marriges r a big reason for divorce....Hw can u live nd love a person whom u dnt knw at all..dat unknow becomes ur husband .wat if u both r nt similar..wat if u hve to adjust nd make compromises..
wat if u just can tolerate him....
 
I m just nt into arrange marriges..I dnt like de..3% arrange marriges according to me gets sucessful...dat also dose when people r either dum or make compromises eaisly.
 
Actually, India has a lower Divorce rate than western countries, and that's because of arranged marriages. I think Love marriages run an equal risk of divorce because many people rush headlong into relationships without properly getting to know the person, and they figure out that marriage to this person is not for them. As for arranged marriages, all my cousins who are married had arranged marriages (not with each other, but different people) and they're all happy with kids and all. I think if parents take especial care looking for the right person, with the right background, an arranged marriage may give more happiness than some love marriages.

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ksgstar

dream

IF-Dazzler

dream

Joined: 18 February 2005

Posts: 3334

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 9:28am | IP Logged
Well i've seen both in my family..n both wrked..bt i prefer love marriage that is accepted by parents n marriage ceremonies will b arranged by family..i mean a mixture of both..i guess marriage is a huge decision..u spend 22-28 yrs maximum wid ur parents bt the rest of the life wid that Person so u shud knw him better bfr marriage..n i cant marry a person whom i dnt luv..i mean may b he can b a doctor or someone good at wrk, rich,handsome n ffrm good family but what if our mentality doesnt match?..wat if he dnt thnk the way i do..i guess u cant compromise all d time..arrange marriage isnt bad..i respect it..but personally i wud like to knw the person bf4 marriage & obv i wud want to marry d person who wud b my best frnd...coz i believe luv is frienship..if he cnt b my frns hw wud he spnd d whole wid me...bt thats juz my opinion!

Ali

IF-Dazzler

Ali

Joined: 29 January 2006

Posts: 3792

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 1:20pm | IP Logged
Very similar to my Topic Love B4 marriage or Love after Arranged Marriage.
and I got many answers in that thread from many different users.  
 
1. What are the advantages of an arranged marriage for you?
U dont know the person
U dont know their nature/behavior
U dont know their likes/dislikes
U dont know thier hobbies/ talents
So many things discover about them.
 
2. Disadvantages?
I do not see any disadvantages for myself in Arranged marriage. Atleast for now LOL
 
3. Do you think divorces occur more in love marriages or arranged marriages?
In Love marriages divorce rate is higher, its proven, I have done research on this topic.
 
4. Would you say "yes" to an arranged marriage if the person is from a good family, has a successful job,
is liberal minded, and if you do not like anyone else?
Ofcourse!

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dilkario

maybe-just

IF-Sizzlerz

maybe-just

Joined: 17 March 2009

Posts: 10829

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
For me personally, I think Arranged Marriages are better, you get to know the person properly after the marriage so there's much to do you won't get bored, in love marriages you already know the person therefore it beomes very boring there is nothing else to find out about the person except their faultsLOL, love marriages do have a higher divorce rate (done my homework on that), in love marriages there is usually alot of conflict between families, watch bidaai LOL j/k! 
Arranged marriages can work if your willing to, love marriages also survive but depending on the situation and as someone rightly said above sometimes people jump into marriage without thinking because they think they are in love, that's when problems arise in a love marriage.
Disadvantages of arranged marriage might be that you may not think similarly which may be a good thing for some but not so good for others!
For me yes I would say yes to an arranged marriage if i thought that was the best thing for me! :-)
 
I won't be getting married anytime soon obviously LOL but those are my views!

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dilkarioksgstar

..RamKiJanaki..

IF-Stunnerz

..RamKiJanaki..

Joined: 20 August 2008

Posts: 44392

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 4:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Ali

Very similar to my Topic Love B4 marriage or Love after Arranged Marriage.
and I got many answers in that thread from many different users.  
 
1. What are the advantages of an arranged marriage for you?
U dont know the person
U dont know their nature/behavior
U dont know their likes/dislikes
U dont know thier hobbies/ talents
So many things discover about them.
 
2. Disadvantages?
I do not see any disadvantages for myself in Arranged marriage. Atleast for now LOL
 
3. Do you think divorces occur more in love marriages or arranged marriages?
In Love marriages divorce rate is higher, its proven, I have done research on this topic.
 
4. Would you say "yes" to an arranged marriage if the person is from a good family, has a successful job,
is liberal minded, and if you do not like anyone else?
Ofcourse!
 
Good reasons! I love your answers for the first question!
I went to a Catholic school for my High School years, and one of our mandatory courses was world religions. One chapter in that course was Hinduism, and it was very interesting learning about my religion through the eyes of Catholics (who are very liberal minded, I found out, about other religions). In the textbook, there was a quote written by an Indian girl about arranged marriages. She said, "I do not choose which family to be born into, so how can I trust my judgment alone when marrying into another?"
I found that quote to be so true. We do not choose our mother, father, brother, and sister, yet we love them deeply, don't we? Why can't the same be said for the life partner in an arranged marriage? If the person is good and is from a good respectable family, I'm sure that we will come to love them, just like we learn to love the family we're born into.
Thanks for sharing your opinion!Smile

..RamKiJanaki..

IF-Stunnerz

..RamKiJanaki..

Joined: 20 August 2008

Posts: 44392

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 4:35pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by maybe-just

For me personally, I think Arranged Marriages are better, you get to know the person properly after the marriage so there's much to do you won't get bored, in love marriages you already know the person therefore it beomes very boring there is nothing else to find out about the person except their faultsLOL, love marriages do have a higher divorce rate (done my homework on that), in love marriages there is usually alot of conflict between families, watch bidaai LOL j/k! 
Lol! Yes, Indian serials tell us more than we need to know about love marriages!LOL I think one of the main problems with some love marriages is that if people like each other, but if the families don't approve of the marriage, they still go along with it. What they don't understand is that 'we marry a whole family, not merely the person'. So if we are not on speaking terms with our in-law's family, it will be very hard to have a peaceful happy marriage. There may come a situation where the husband or wife has to choose between their spouse or their own family, and the peace of the family becomes constrained. Whereas in an arranged marriage, 95% of the time, the in-law's family loves you, and I personally would find it more peaceful to have a marriage where the whole family loves you rather than only the husband. Arranged marriages can work if your willing to, love marriages also survive but depending on the situation and as someone rightly said above sometimes people jump into marriage without thinking because they think they are in love, that's when problems arise in a love marriage.
Disadvantages of arranged marriage might be that you may not think similarly which may be a good thing for some but not so good for others! Exactly! People today jump too often into love marriages thinking they are in love, but what exactly is true love, you know? How many of the "love marriages" are based on "true love" rather than "I like you a lot and think I'm in love, but I'm not sure"? And today's arranged marriages are becoming more liberal too. No one is forced to accept the first proposal that comes their way. If either they guy or girl does not like the proposal, most parents do not force their children to accept it. Instead, they look for other proposals, and until their son/daughter is truly happy with the proposal, and it is reciprocated, there is no talk of speedy wedding plans or anything.
For me yes I would say yes to an arranged marriage if i thought that was the best thing for me! :-) Me too! And great answers! I love how you explained your view!Big smile
 
I won't be getting married anytime soon obviously LOL but those are my views!

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