Posted:
@ttimpy: Patience 😊 They will of course introduce themselves. Its only thursday and lets wait till weekend for that huh?
~Sookie
~Sookie
On Fire'sday, Dream was reviewing certain of the various treaties and agreements between the dreaming and other states and boundaries and entities, when he was disturbed. – Neil Gaiman, The Kindly ones, Chapter 8 (Issue #64)
Friday
Her best friend who was also her roommate was irritated and annoyed at her attitude. She had recited every poem he had uttered and had even tried to mimic his tone but failing miserably. The reason for her roommate's frustration was that she had failed to mention the bookmark to her for couple of days; also that she still didn't know the name of the stranger. She had tried to convince her friend saying that it really didn't matter to her. Knowing a person's name, his background, his job, might influence on her unbiased perception of him. At this point, they were reading each other in the level of blue prints where everything is raw and very clearly defined. The finished product which is presented to society generally hides minor flaws. It also hides fantastic foundation. Her friend however, had thought that she was simply scared to accept something so good in her life. She had zoned out after that, barely paying any heed to her friend's rant. Her experience with men or even people for that matter was very less. She took things by face value and had no interest in games people played with body language, subtlety and wordplay; not that she knew how to play those games in first place. With him, things were black and white and they rarely tread the gray areas. She wasn't comfortable in sharing her insecurities, but with him, it had not really mattered. In the beginning she was honest because she thought she would never see him again. There is always a comfort in talking to people who are strangers because they have such a fresh perspective since they have no clue what others are. But after the first meeting, she was honest with him because she wanted to; because she felt that she could not be otherwise with him. It had been more than a week since he last showed up at her bookstore. It had been a lazy day and she had thought of closing the store a few minutes early and head straight home. She was arguing with her roommate on the phone about not wanting to go to a club when a familiar set of hands placed two cups of steaming coffee on the counter, she hung up stating that she now did have some plans for the evening.
"Was that your best friend who is always looking out for you?" He was smiling.
"That was my best friend who is always badgering me to get a life." She said sourly.
"What's wrong with that?"
"Everyone has a perception of how to lead a life. Many people think that I don't have a life because I don't socialize much. I don't blame them for thinking that way because anything other than what majority of the population does is generally not accepted easily in this society."
"But a man, a human as such is not designed to be a loner. Yes, there are tones of philosophical books which talk about singularity of human existence, but our nature is not designed that way. There is no organism which lives alone. And man especially, since the dawn of evolution has lived in packs."
"Yet, here we are."
"Yes. Here we are." They shared a smile. Both of them knew that being a loner is something that no human would ever want. But most of them would prefer being that way instead of being with other people. Everyone had their reasons for that; some valid and some totally illogical and downright stupid.
"So why then?" She whispered. She knew that if she hadn't asked this question, then he would have. Invariably, they would and should know the reasons for their self inflicted seclusion from social boundaries. He was silent for few moments.
"I think it's the arrogance that I have about my intelligence makes me stay away from a lot of people. Sometimes it's the prejudice that I have about people who party hard that they have no capability of participating in a sane conversation. I start drawing conclusion about people after talking for a few minutes but without making an effort to get to know them further. It's not a conscious decision you know. It takes years to grow and one fine day, you do realize that this is what you have become. I had become a loner in the crowd. I had pushed people away with foolish reasons and even now I am paying the price for it. When I was pushing those people away, I hadn't even realized what I was signing up for."
"Have you changed from the person what you used to be before?"
"Change is never a conscious decision; except the ones that have to be made in point of view which has an influence on entire outlook of one's life. I have tried to be the friend that my best friend wanted me to be when he was going through some personal crisis. He was surprised by my actions and the words I had offered him at that time and he has expressed his gratitude for that. When he said that I was a great friend for him in those difficult times, I felt as if I had accomplished the greatest task in the world. If satisfaction of my friends is the result of me overcoming my prejudices, then I think trying to change my perception to fit better in my social circle was very much worth it."
"Have you ever felt that by changing so, you have lost a little bit of your own identity?"
"Identity is not something predefined and there are no hard and fast rules that it has to be constant for the rest of our lives. Identity is what I show people today how I am. When they meet me years later, some may still see me as how I have been before and some may see me changed. Sometimes people's perception itself changes and they see that everything around them has changed when in reality most of the stuff remains the same."
"So would you go and change your course of life for someone else's sake?" She was intrigued by his personality. She knew that he was not modest about his looks or about his intelligence but to accept that he is a snob was something else entirely.
"I already did." He answered looking at her intently. She didn't want to know about that. She wasn't scared of his answer but she was mostly scared of her own reaction to his answer.
"I wonder what your roommate slash best friend would say if I tell her that I convinced you to take a road trip." He mused idly.
"You would be her friend for life and I would never hear the end of it." There was a fondness in her voice whenever she talked about her friend.
"You care about her very much, don't you?"
"It's hard not to care for a person like her. There have been times when all she cared about is my happiness. Whenever she makes plans, be it for an evening or for a holiday, she always considers me in them. For her, it's natural to be attached to people she loves."
"So sometimes you feel that you don't deserve that kindness. That's why you were questioning me about changes and individuality." She had not understood why her roommate stayed had with her for such a long time. It wasn't a self deprecating statement but a logical deduction based on their quite clashing personalities.
"A relationship to work needs nurturing from every party involved. Between me and her, I feel like I have been the one who is always taking and rarely giving. She doesn't expect anything from me but some days I feel horrible for taking her for granted."
"A relationship also needs all the involved parties to be honest with each other. Sometimes, we might have to make sacrifices to keep the relationship intact or to keep it smooth sailing. Do something for her which would make her happy. It might make you uncomfortable for a while, but seeing her happiness, you might not regret it."
"You know, I never understood the logic behind sacrifices."
"That's the whole point. Sacrifices are illogical and irrational."
"In my younger days, I believed that end justifies the means. But when it came to sacrifices, the whole logic crumbles badly."
"When I started working, I was very much impressed to see people with families balancing their personal and professional life remarkably well. But when you look at them closely, you can see that there are tiny little sacrifices tucked between major bursts of happy times in their lives. A man works for seventy hours in one week, misses his little boy's game, forgets an important anniversary; all this to get a fantastic vacation for his family. In one week, each one of them has been unhappy and has sacrificed a tiny bit of happiness for something bigger."
"But this is along the assumption that this 'something bigger' is much better than the little things that the family has missed in one week. For a little boy, seeing his dad cheer him during a game is much important than spending a week in a resort."
"That's why sacrifices are illogical." They both contemplated on things that were spoken in past few minutes. She broke the silence first.
"Sacrifices in relationship are helpful only till the other party acknowledges it, accepts it and appreciates it. When it becomes an expectation, the relationship reduces to a mere compromise of ideologies." He looked at her. Her face was hidden behind curtain of her hair. He got a feeling that she was not talking about her best friend anymore. No, the tone had too much sorrow to associate it with her roommate.
"I thought I had a good relationship with him. There were no fairytale sequences or over the top romanticism in the way our relationship progressed. It was like a gentle river. All of us invariably have certain amount of expectation from one another. But when that expectation supersedes over any other decision, then there is very little left of that relationship. What started out as a wonderful companionship had reduced to a compromised companionship; not that there was anything left of that." He still couldn't see her face. Perhaps it was her way of dealing things; alone and behind a veil of set of ideologies.
"What exactly went wrong?"
"Nothing and everything I suppose. When relationship becomes stagnant, then even smallest of the ripples seem like tidal waves. We were not able to deal with that. We were in college, we were looking for place to live, searching for jobs, dealing with sudden responsibility of adulthood, student loans, everything. Again, it was nothing that one doesn't face in his or her life. Responsibilities only increased with time. But our patience with each other rather got taxed."
"So you went separate ways?"
"I said good bye to him before our differences turned into something nastier. He was OK with that since he said that being with me was a mistake in the first place. He had managed to reduce three years of my emotions to something that he preferred to forget in his life and used it as a bench mark of what he would never want or go for in his future." She never got over the fact that how an end to an event had nullified everything that led to that end. Had the journey not mattered at all, just because they took different directions when they encountered a fork in the path?
"I don't think that it's possible to forget a person especially after being with that person for three years; at least not you. Please, do not see this as an act of sympathy. He might have said that it was a mistake and perhaps would never want to see you again, but you cannot rule out the fact that the influence that he had on you or vice versa would take sometime to fade away or they might be with you forever, if you let them. Is one person's perception of you has influenced you to such an extent that you lose faith in yourself?"
"I was with that person for three years. That has to account for something." He could not answer her. There is only so much convincing one can do. Unless she changed the perception about herself, she would never free herself from this tangled mess.
"I am trying you know, to get over my own insecurities, my pessimistic view of my own self." She whispered looking at him for the first time since she started talking about her first and only failed relationship.
"I will always be there to help." It wasn't a statement to console her current state of mind. It was a promise he intended to keep for the rest of their lives.
"I know and I am glad that it's you." In that moment she had crossed all the boundaries that were set between them. In that moment, she acknowledged everything that was there between them. In that moment, she realized the inevitable presence of him in her future. And in that moment, she accepted that she loved him as much as he loved her. She found that her acceptance of him wasn't earth shattering or ground breaking. It was as if she finally found a place to rest her permanently aching head. She felt she was home at last.
"Where do you keep comic books?" The tension of the evening was dissolved and there was warmth in his gaze when he asked her. She guided him to the shelf where comics were stored.
"Is this for you or your kids?" She grinned at him cheekily. He rolled his eyes at her.
"Of course it's for me. And besides, an adult would enjoy humor in Calvin and Hobbs rather than a kid."
"Isn't it kind of ironic? It seems as if the author, Bill Watterson is trying to tell the adults what kids already seem to know."
"The knowledge that we gain during our childhood gets maligned over the period of time. Books like these remind us of that."
"It would be like, you and I would say – 'existential complexity' where as a kid would say 'life sucks'."
"We go on complicating things in our lives by applying too many rules in the name of social etiquette. If you are a kid, if you share the swing for few minutes with another kid during recess, then they are best friends from then on. It's nice that way." They fell silent at that.
He picked up a copy of Calvin and Hobbs: Homicidal psycho jungle cat and asked her to ring it up. He noted that he was short of cash to cover for the book.
"I am running short of cash. Can I pay it later?" He gave her a charming smile.
"We do accept credit cards you know." She raised an eyebrow at him. Even if he had offered his credit card, she would have probably refused it. It looked as if both of them believed that the gift of anonymity was rather intoxicating.
"Put it on my tab please. I will pay it next time." He grinned at her and waved a good bye. As if remembering something, he came back to counter and dropped a thin leather journal around four to five inches long on the counter top. He smiled and left as suddenly as he had come. She felt warmth spread around her when she opened the journal. There were poems, anecdotes, philosophical ramblings scribbled in varied colored inks. It was his of course. This was his way of sharing his private thoughts. As conversation from earlier ran through her head, she decided to take a break from monotony and gave a call to her roommate. She thought she would lose her hearing when her roommate let out a surprise yell when she said that she would go to club that evening. As he had said, the happiness that she sensed in her friend's voice was totally worth the discomfort she would feel for the rest of the evening. Life was changing and for the first time, she welcomed it.
--o00o--
Tomorrow (Saturday): Where they talk about humanity, life altering instances, miracles. Also, he has surprising news for her.
On Satyrday, the castle received a visitor. "We are the kindly ones. We are Erinyes, we are vengeance and hatred unending. We are your doom", they said. – Neil Gaiman, The Kindly Ones, Chapter 8 (Issue #64)
Saturday
It was a busy Saturday evening with store brimming with lots of customers. She was running a few employees short and it was showing; she was completely stressed. She preferred being on the floor rather than at billing as she liked interacting with people who were browsing for books. She wasn't that good with people but she was great when it came to talking to people about books and helping them out to buy the right one. She had helped an elderly gentleman who was looking for books on biplanes when a voice stopped her.
"Need any help around here?" His voice sounded amused. He was surprised when she dragged him by the hand and shoved him inside a room at the back of the store. She gave him a T-Shirt that bore the name of her book store and looked at him expectantly. It tickled him to see her this way. He shrugged and changed his T-Shirt. She uttered him a hurried thanks and asked him to help around to whoever who needed help; be it her employee or any customer.
"Will I be paid?" He asked her smiling.
"Of course you will be paid. Since you owe me money for the book that you purchased last time you were here, I might have to dock your pay to cover that." She gave him a cheeky smile. He laughed.
For the next couple of hours they worked barely crossing each others path. But her being her saw him moving around the store as if he always belonged there. For a moment she was lost in the fantasy of him being there, working with her for quite a long time into their future. He was all around the store helping an employee to place the books in the right shelf. She saw him help a little girl to find the right book about dolphins. She grinned to herself when she saw a young woman make an obvious pass at him and him being completely oblivious to that; she wasn't sure of he was really that thick or he was simply ignoring that young woman. She thought it was the latter. He made an old lady blush when he kissed her cheek. By the time it was closing time for the store, she realized the level of her exhaustion. Even if it was the weekend, it tends to get hectic for her store with most book lovers unwinding in her store. After the last employee had left, she locked the front door and went around the store in search of him.
She found him sitting on the floor with a book Of Human Bondage – W. Somerset Maugham. He was skipping pages and reading certain pages which caught his interest.
"Is that one of your favorites too?" She asked him breaking his concentration. Even in ordinary store uniform shirt, he looked pretty good.
"Not really, no. I find it a little too depressing for my taste. The protagonist keeps on moving from one tragedy to the next. It's possible that the storyline is very much believable but when you find out that there isn't much going on for that man, it kind of becomes monotonous." She was actually surprised at his explanation. She had thought that he would be someone who would like a book which took a step closer to the world of hopelessness.
"The book is much more than that and you know it. This novel also depicts the author's view of contemporary society and art. It's about growing up and about the negativity that the protagonist shows through out the book."
"I think it is the negativity of the storyline itself which makes the protagonist lack any positive values. There is only so much a man can take. Don't you think so?"
"Maybe. Do you believe that tragedies in life can make a man strong?"
"How can anything that works on sanity make any person strong? Sure, when a man faces a tragedy, he would get accustomed to deal with the pain, suffering and trauma that would be associated with it, but he would be always broken. The only difference would be that he would know how to deal better than the others." They fell silent for a few minutes. He kept the book back in the rack and sat on the floor across from her. She was making invisible patterns on the floor with her finger. She was exhausted but strangely content.
"I observed that you play classical music in the store. Not many people do that and a very even would like that." He asked her.
"I think if music had any lyrics, then it would be distracting. People would pay attention to the lyrics and the voice that performs rather than the music that defines the song itself. And moreover, when you are looking at books, music kind of soothes you."
"So basically you play music without lyrics so that people play more attention to the tasks at hand which is buying the book, rather than the music itself. Smooth move."
"These days not many people enjoy classical music. I have nothing against contemporary music, but do I have problem in concentrating when I listen to lyrics. Classical music can be enjoyed while I am doing anything. And when I listen to Four Seasons by Vivaldi, it's hard not to get lost in that music."
"You love music a lot?"
"I enjoy listening to classical pieces. I listen to contemporary music as well but mostly alternate rock. Hey, you said you played piano as a child didn't you? Do you still play?"
"Yes, I do."
"I would love to hear you play for me."
"Sure. I don't play as much as I would love to given the fact that I had a very hectic job and I moved around a lot. But yeah, whenever I am in town or I visit my parents, I make it a point to play."
"Wait. You had a job? As in you don't have it anymore now?" She was astonished.
"I quit my job last week." He said it quite happily.
"Why in the world would you quit your job?" She was flabbergasted.
"I quit my job because I could not explain to myself why I was doing it in the first place. For the first time, I was being downright honest with myself and realized that no matter how much I love to travel and did my work very well but in the end I really didn't enjoy what I was doing. I spoke to each and every member of my family about my decision to leave my job. Apart from my parents, everyone thinks that I am being idiotic. I think they might be right to an extent." He said lightly.
"But you do have a contingency plan right?" She was surprised at his casual admittance.
"Yes. I am going to work here from now on." Now, she was speechless.
"Can I keep this T-Shirt?" He was looking like a little kid in toy store asking his mom for a new toy.
"Why do you want to work here?" She was curious about that.
"Because I feel like I am home. I truly enjoyed working for the past few hours. I think I understand why you were so obsessive about running this store. Amidst the chaos, you still find order of things." He patted his hand next to him signaling her to come and sit with him. She moved next to him without a word. He continued.
"Have you heard of Joshua Bell, the violinist? He owns one of the most expensive violins in the world. As a part of an experiment by The Washington Post, he played in a Washington metro station for three quarters of an hour. In those forty five minutes, he performed six difficult classical pieces. Out of a thousand people who passed by him, hardly a dozen stood by to listen and appreciate his music. If he is playing in a concert, generally people pay a hundred dollars or more per seat. But at that subway station, he made less than forty dollars."
"I have read about it."
"When I dissected my life, I realized that I have been one of those passerby; the ones who are so busy with their schedule with the sense of righteousness for perfection that they don't appreciate creativity when it is dancing right in front of their faces." He fell silent suddenly. She knew that he was contemplating and was organizing his thoughts. She allowed him to break the silence first and continue the conversation.
"The first time we met, which was a few months ago, it was one of those impulsive decision that made me rethink everything that I have been doing. I won't say that I changed my ways because of you; but you certainly influenced me enough to question my own ways. It felt nice on the first day when we spoke about books and childhood. After that, I was simply drawn to you, to your companionship and to this place." She rested her head on his shoulder at this point. Physical comfort spoke louder than the spoken ones.
"I just want a life now which I can direct the way I want and not because how I drive my business; preferably with you in it." He looked down at her. She just nodded. She didn't trust her voice to give a rational answer to him. She wanted to give her consent to his decision though.
"You can keep the T-Shirt." He burst out laughing. She just chuckled. She liked this, being there with him.
"My roommate thinks that you are miracle that my life has been waiting for." She rolled her eyes. He was grinning.
"Not to inflate your ego or anything but I think she might be right to an extent." She gently whispered. She didn't know why she said things before her mind had a chance to process whatever she was going to speak thoroughly.
"Your roommate thinks very highly of me. I hate to disappoint you both but I am here for my own selfish reason." She looked up.
"I have been a global soul for quite sometime; moving from towns, meeting new people everyday, taking decisions that would make or lose thousands of jobs, made me feel restless. So in reality, you were my personal miracle which finally encouraged me decide what I really want."
"Do you honestly believe in miracles?"
"No."
"No?"
"Miracles are like super heroes. They are present when the system or the society around us fails miserably and stumbles to operate on its own. It's a reflection of how humanity has lost against evolution."
"You are beyond weird."
"I loved and I still do love reading Batman. He is the mask crusader who doesn't really have any super power and relies on his own scientific intelligence, detective skills and athletic prowess. He takes up the responsibility for the society by being a vigilante."
"But Bruce Wayne is super rich. He could have had his own mini army or a personal force which would help law enforcement to keep peace in Gotham City. But no, he wears a fancy suit and a cape, uses cool weapons and sullies his hands to do the dirty work. This shows that he doesn't trust any other people to do the job and so takes up the responsibility on his own shoulders. When you think about it, this is the utmost act of ego than any other deed." He looked at her in horror.
"Batman fought The Joker single handedly and won." His eyes flashed. She burst out laughing.
"There, there little boy, there is no need to get violent." She was giggling now.
"I apologize." He sighed.
"You can be a business man who can change the direction of economy. You can be a man who can make or break future. But underneath it all, you are still a little boy who loves his super heroes and fantasizes about them."
"I guess you are right about that." He smiled at her and put an arm around her. She felt relaxed at this physical contact.
"I am guessing you like comic books, as in, the super hero kind."
"As a kid, I obsessed over them. I mean they were cool. I liked Batman because he was the closest thing that a man can be. He had no super strength but was very intelligent. I liked that about him. As I grew older, my obsession moved a notch higher; towards graphic novels."
"Aren't they little violent? I have browsed through some of them and I find it very gory and definitely not for kids."
"Graphic novels are not for kids. They are stories for adolescents depicted in graphics. It's irritating how people mistake them for comic books."
"Refer me something. I haven't read even a single one of them."
"Really? Then you must read The Sandman by Neil Gaiman. When I was in college a friend recommended me to read his works. I am a huge fan of that series now. There are few issues which I always keep with me and I read them whenever I get sometime."
"Is it that good?"
"It's not the story that gives you a kick. It's the narration. There are hundred ways to come to an end. But the way this author does simply blows my mind."
"But what fun is it to read a story when you already know how it ends."
"We know that whoever comes to this world has to die some day but that doesn't stop us from living our lives, does it?" He had a point there.
"It's a story, not life. The satisfaction of reading a book comes from the way it ends. If I know who killed who before I read the story, then what point is there to read that thriller?"
"Maybe you should still read the story to appreciate the brilliance in which it is solved. Does knowing the ending more important than how that particular ending was achieved?"
"End justifies the means. So, why bother with the means when ending is known?" She was having fun talking to him. It was not an argument that they were having but a mere exchange of ideologies. In the past few meetings, each of them had voiced their differences rather subtly and sometimes even gently. But this conversation was different.
"We simply have to agree to disagree." They nodded at each other and gave each other a smile. She had a feeling that this wasn't the end of this conversation. In future they were going to have millions of such conversations where neither budged. And she couldn't wait for them.
"Come on; let's get you the first volume of The Sandman – Preludes and Nocturnes and I will quiz you on that on next Saturday." He pulled her along with him. She rather liked this thing with him. Both of them teaching each other, reading new things, discovering new things about themselves, she really felt that he was what her life had been waiting for. But she wasn't going to say that aloud. Not yet anyway.
As they took one last stroll around the store, she realized that very soon, she would be with him every night to do that job. She liked that immensely. She saw that he was looking a little pale and slightly nervous. She stopped by the counter to pick up her already packed bag. She turned around to see him that he had changed to his street clothes and was nervously shuffling around.
"Is everything alright?" She asked him gently.
"Yes. Everything is fine." She shrugged.
"Will you have a cup of coffee with me?" He asked her, shuffling his feet. She was surprised at his actions. As far as she was concerned, he was the most suave guy she had ever met, extremely handsome and charming to boot. She could not understand why he would be nervous around a girl like her to invite for a cup of coffee. When she voiced her concern, he shook his head.
"It's easier to ask people out who are strangers or acquaintances. You know me little too well than anybody and that is enough for you to have a judgment over your decisions based all the conversation that we have had." He shrugged.
"Do you really think this much just to ask me for a cup of coffee?" She looked amused.
"Yes. Is that a problem?"
"Not at all. I find it rather amusing. Shall we then?" They were about to leave the store when he slapped his forehead as if he remembered something.
"I forgot something very important."
"What is it?" She looked around once more to check.
"Hello, my name is Edward." He gave her a crooked smile. She found herself smiling back at him.
"It's nice to meet you Edward. I am Bella." They shook hands and burst out laughing at the craziness of the situation in which they were in. It had taken six lengthy conversations in a bookstore to be where they were. On sixth day, they had revealed the last part of their respective identities and had truly become them.
"I think it's going to be wonderful night, don't you think so?" She nodded and walked out of the store and locking it behind her.
--o00o--
Tomorrow (Sunday): An epilogue, a beginning, an ending, a conclusion, a deduction, a surprise and a gift; sometimes, end does justify the means.
This is the end of this series. I hope to see you all again soon!
On Son'sday, they held their first funeral. – Neil Gaiman, The Kindly Ones, Chapter 8 (Issue #64)
Sunday – An epilogue
She wasn't sure if getting formally introduced to each other was an ending to a fantastic anonymous journey or a beginning of a new adventure with a man named Edward. Currently she was in that grey area where the stranger transformed to Edward. But after last nights events, which was drinking coffee till they were thrown out of the caf, she found out that there were very little things that were different between the man she knew all this while to Edward. After coffee, they had parted for the night and he had promised her to meet at the book store next evening. Being Sunday, they were closing the store early and all the employees had already left. She lifted her head up when a cup of coffee and a muffin was placed in front of her. It was him, grinning at her. Even though she was expecting a visit from him, it still surprised her when he showed up.
"You had a busy day?"
"No, not really. But I did manage to finish Preludes and Nocturnes by Neil Gaiman though." She said happily.
"So you are ready to move on." The statement was so loaded and both of them knew that. She had had a session with her roommate the night before and had come up with a list of pros and cons regarding pursuing a relationship with him. It was irrational and illogical because she had already decided that she would. But perhaps her inane need for validating everything that she did had eventually won out and had made her work on that list. It wasn't surprising when the pros outnumbered cons and her roommate telling her 'I said so' in a sing-song voice. She blamed her insecurities holding her back from being open about her relationship with him. It took her a moment to realize that he was actually waiting for an answer. It was time.
"Yes." He smiled at her. She decided that she would definitely get used to that.
"There is something I need to tell you though." His face held apprehension. He continued the next moment.
"There was a reason why I never told you my name. In the beginning it wasn't necessary. I liked what we had and I knew that things were going to get better. But there was an unexpected turn of events which made me decide." She nodded her head. She appreciated his honesty. She wasn't sure what he was confessing but she sure hoped that it wasn't something dreadful.
"My name is, Edward Cullen." He stared at her. She was waiting for him to continue but he didn't. There was something about the name. She felt a familiarity with that name. As if she had seen it somewhere and heard it somewhere quite recently. It took her few moments when realization dawned on her face.
"Cullen as in Cullen group of companies?" She questioned him. He nodded.
"Cullen as in my new business partner." It was a statement and not a question. He couldn't help but nod a positive response.
"For how long were you aware of this?" If the whole reason of him coming to this store in the first place was because of this business thing, then she was sure that her whole perception of him was going to change.
"You told me one day, remember?" She let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. He continued.
"Please don't consider this as an act of pity. It's nothing like that."
"Then tell me what it like is then." Her tone was challenging but he didn't miss the underlying quiver in her voice.
"I have been working right out of college in our company. All my siblings are a part of that and it has always been a family thing. But that never meant that there was pressure on all of us to mandatorily take up a job in one of our companies. The life I led was exciting; there is no doubt about it. But when I retired for the day, I never felt satisfied with whatever I had been doing. I know, it sounds very self-centered but that's how it was." He looked disturbed. He continued his monologue.
"I told you once that this store, being with you felt like home. I wasn't lying that day. On that day it was simply a dream. But when you told me about the financial crisis, I had a plan to turn my dream into reality. You know what happened next. I wanted to come by and give you the good news myself. But I chickened out. Also, there were lots of formalities that I had to complete since I had decided to quit my job. So you see I did this elaborate planning for my own selfish reason only and you never really in the picture." He hoped she would buy his story. Even if there was no financial crisis, he would still quit his job and join here as her employee. His siblings had teased him mercilessly. They were quite happy that their brother had finally found something and someone who held his interest for this while but still thought that giving up a career like his was a little erratic.
"You are the weirdest guy I ever met." She threw her hands in air and started munching on muffin. He was surprised at her reaction. He had expected an angst driven lecture and perhaps some water works too but her casual acceptance threw him off the loop.
"Huh?" He wasn't feeling particularly loquacious at the moment.
"There are plenty of bookstores in this town. If you really wanted to run a bookstore, you would have had your people purchase one for you or even built a new one." He smiled.
"That, I could have."
"But you didn't."
"No I didn't. You bought only half of this store knowing that I would come as a part of package deal. You have a very twisted of showing people that you care about them." He outright laughed at her.
"Get used to it." He was feeling free of the entire dilemma that he had faced for the past few weeks.
"I am not sure if I can, I find your weirdness rather amusing. But I do find your honesty quite catching." He sobered at that. She continued.
"I didn't mean it as an insult. But really, in all our previous conversations, you have been quite truthful, weren't you?"
"I was. I was honest with you on the first day because I had absolutely nothing to lose. So being honest was easy."
"Being honest is always easy." He smiled and nodded at the underlying plea in her statement.
"I have read pages and pages of articles talking about truth and honesty, but no one really talks about the price of being honest. Being honest need not be being truthful. If I tell you that I lied to you yesterday, then I am being honest. But being truthful is much difficult and the price is much costlier than one would expect. In the given social construct, one cannot be truthful. I do not agree that it is possible to utter the truth and expect that being truthful is the greatest virtue. If a man cannot empathize for another man, be it by lying or by deceit, then no amount of truth could bear the cost of comfort."
"I agree there is a price for being honest, but don't you think there is a price for being dishonest too? You can give a moment of comfort by being dishonest but that can also turn into a lifetime of discomfort. Don't you think so?"
"It's a probable outcome."
"But I guess you are right. In everyone's life a time comes when we need to make a choice; to be honest or to be a good friend. I have chosen to be a good friend most of the times." They fell into companionable silence.
"Are you happy about the choices that you have made?" He asked her.
"I know that I made the right choice when I opened the door for you on that raining evening. I was contemplating between hiding in stock room and calling cops."
"Calling cops? You thought I was a stalker or something?'
"Yes." She laughed at the memory. It seemed like a fairytale. She voiced it.
"Did you ever get the feeling that whatever we had and had been going through is some kind of a modern fairytale?"
"A poor beautiful girl who has everything to lose meets a handsome rich guy and then there are fireworks. After ups and downs, tears and laughter, they are finally together. After that they obviously lead their life happily ever after." He didn't bother to hide sarcasm in his voice. She rolled her eyes and started locking up the store for the day. They had decided to take a stroll and since being Sunday, she had closed the store quite early. After walking for few minutes in silence, she continued the conversation.
"Almost every story would seem like a fairytale if you have the right perspective. Fairytales take a shot at relationships that are complementary; the ones where opposite attract."
"No two people are similar in this world. So technically, every pair is made up of opposite people."
"I meant opposite in terms of social construct. As in one of them being rich and the other stark opposite?"
"That's a little prejudiced point of view." She stared at him. He looked quite happy. He also looked as if he was making up points just to argue with her. And she was fine with it as far as they were in rational boundaries. He was playing devil's advocate just to annoy her. She actually found herself enjoying immensely.
"The best part about fairytales is that they have happy endings."
"Fairytales also ends with an assumption that the prince and the princess are going to be happily ever after."
"Every relationship has that assumption, isn't it?" He smiled at her gently.
"Yes, they do. Do you know why?" She shook her head. Even if she had some idea, she wanted to listen to what he had to say.
"Because that's what makes them going. People run behind the illusion of being happy in the future that they forget what they have in their present. We cannot blame them for that because they are doing everything they can in the present to keep their future secure and happy. But how can future be strong when present in which they are living has too many cracks and flaws?" She thought about it for moment.
"So what's your plan?"
"There is no plan and that's the plan."
"Go with the flow?"
"Yes. Isn't it better to be honest with each other and live our present fully rather than planning and working for a future which might never exist?"
"I like this plan." She grinned at him.
"Say, there is this one thing that I really like about fairy tales though." She raised an eyebrow at that.
"The prince and princess kiss in the end." She could feel a smile growing on her face mimicking his.
"And since you mentioned earlier that what we have is some sort of a modern fairytale, I think we should continue the tradition." When they came up for air, she found his eyes sparkling.
"I think we have a good shot at happily ever after." She laughed and nodded her acknowledgment.
And perhaps, they did live happily ever after.
--o00o--
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