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Is it in a mans fitrat/nature to cheat ?

Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler
Aparna_BD
Aparna_BD

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4926

Posted: 21 October 2005 at 10:39am | IP Logged
I have often heard this being said and i am sure some of you have heard this too, " its mans" fitrat" (nature) to cheat .......not be faithfull to 1 woman !!!! I heard the latest interview of Nikki Aneja , and she made this comment and it got me thinking !!!

O.k i have 2 questions - 1 ) Do you beleive in this statement ?
2) If a man cheats should he be forgiven by his wife / partner ???

My Views are that i don't belive its a man's nature / fitrat to be unfaithfull to his spouse . I have seen my father , my husband (touch wood!!!) and i certainly don't think its true . It depends on a person to person . Even fidelity depends from a woman to woman .

As for forgiving my cheating man , i honestly find that sooooo difficult to answer . I have a 13 year old relationship ( 7 year marriage ) and to throw it all away for one discretion .......its so painfull ....i really don't what i would do !!


Over to you all . My request again don't answer with a one liner . No its not mans nature .......yes its mans nature . Please for an interesting debate do elaborate on your point !!

APARNA

Naina_Manam IF-Dazzler
Naina_Manam
Naina_Manam

Joined: 06 September 2005
Posts: 2934

Posted: 21 October 2005 at 10:55am | IP Logged
Hey Aparna!

Nice topic!!!

I don't believe in this statement. As you said it depends on the man and also there are a lot of woman who cheat in such a lovely relationships.

So this is not a statement that can be made generalizing the men. I don't think it's true.

About whether or not I will forgive him……well,… first of all I can't really say because I am not married yet….not even close to a marriage age but yes I find it hard to forgive such a thing in relationships.

I personally will never do such a thing and I am a kind of person who believes in somebody blindly. I never would question that person if people talk about him to me. I will never doubt him until I see it with my own eyes and after that…… I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive him.

I always stay loyal in relationships so I wouldn't be able to bear him deceiving me.. only my views!
U kno U NV Me Newbie
U kno U NV Me
U kno U NV Me

Joined: 13 October 2005
Posts: 35

Posted: 21 October 2005 at 12:30pm | IP Logged
Nice topic, well for me I dont believe that this statement is right, I have seen many women who have cheated on their men so its not true that only men are unfaithfull.
As for your other question, I think relationships are based on trust and if thats broken than there is no point in continuing it. If (God forbid) this happens to me I wont be able to stay with my husband anymore I might forgive but wont continue my relationship with him, ofcourse we would always be in contact because of the kids but that would be it.
ME_T Senior Member
ME_T
ME_T

Joined: 18 January 2005
Posts: 683

Posted: 21 October 2005 at 1:39pm | IP Logged
nope. i don;t believe it.
ur gender doens't really make that big a diffference whther u cheat or not. it depends on the PERSON! not the group of ppl. thta is pretty predjudice if ppl think like that say that.
SuperDuper01 Senior Member
SuperDuper01
SuperDuper01

Joined: 08 October 2005
Posts: 655

Posted: 30 January 2006 at 10:13am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ME_T

nope. i don;t believe it.
ur gender doens't really make that big a diffference whther u cheat or not. it depends on the PERSON! not the group of ppl. thta is pretty predjudice if ppl think like that say that.

I agree with the same points
sameer.84 IF-Sizzlerz
sameer.84
sameer.84

Joined: 10 May 2005
Posts: 10000

Posted: 30 January 2006 at 10:19am | IP Logged

it depends on the person's character and circumstances.

men and women are good and bad, faithful and unfaithful.

but as men are outside more than women, temptations for him are more to cheat.

i think its kinnda feminist thinking.....men-bashingLOL

 



Edited by sam_84 - 30 January 2006 at 10:22am
jasunap IF-Sizzlerz
jasunap
jasunap

Joined: 07 October 2005
Posts: 10852

Posted: 30 January 2006 at 11:25am | IP Logged
i dont think you can catagorically say it is in a 'mans fitrat' to cheat. that is not true. there are more incidents of men giving in to temptations than women.

in the olden days men were the bread winners and hence ventured out more than the women. which also means he interacted more with others socially and not the woman.

but for every man to cheat there has to be a woman too. (i know that is not entirely true these days, but a parter is necessary). so it is al a matter of self control and the importane you give a relationship.

but it is also true our society forgives men who cheat but seem strict on the women. the men too seem quick to forgive themselves but are unwilling to forgive a woman who cheats on a relationship.  but that would not make me resort to do a bobbit on the man!

personally i wonder if i shall be able to accept an indiscretion. i cannot really say, i guess that would depend on the frequency of the indiscretion! Confused

perse, i dont think there should be two rules for the two genders where infidelity or anything else is concerned!

Edited by jasunap - 30 January 2006 at 11:27am
sweet freedom IF-Dazzler
sweet freedom
sweet freedom

Joined: 17 April 2005
Posts: 3474

Posted: 30 January 2006 at 1:14pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Aparna_BD

I have often heard this being said and i am sure some of you have heard this too, " its mans" fitrat" (nature) to cheat .......not be faithfull to 1 woman !!!! I heard the latest interview of Nikki Aneja , and she made this comment and it got me thinking !!!

O.k i have 2 questions - 1 ) Do you beleive in this statement ?
2) If a man cheats should he be forgiven by his wife / partner ???

i dont  agree, it cant be all men can it, cos some couples live happily...and i dont think the women should forgive the man, if he cheats on her cos thats not fair, because most men wouldnt forgive their wife if they cheated on them, so i think that the women should think that if they were in that position would they forgive them, and if they think no then they shouldnt forgive him, its just fai, right

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