Widow Rules (Page 2)

Originally posted by ellesmera

im frm nepal where the more orthodox form of hinduism is still followed esp by the older gerenration. my parents are pretty openminded but my grandmother (daadi)is a vaishnav and very orthodox. <br><br>she was married when she was 7 and had her gauna at the age of 10 so she was mostly raised up at her inlaws. like jamuna in the serial she also faced many miscarriages but eventually had 9 children. she had her eldest child when she was 15. her character is sort of like daadisa in the sense that she loves her own blood... her childern her grandchildren and her maika ppl to death... but to her daughter-in-laws she is extremely strict. she choose all her bahus frm family less rich than my dadas and frm villages. thats why she choose my mum too but unfortunately for her my nanas family were actually quite well off and educated. my mum had studied in a convent in patna. till date of all the bahus my mum is the only bahu my daadi cannot bully (others still cower in frnt of her). <br><br>in her house when the girl has her first period she wasnt even allowed to see daylight... she is kept locked in a room for seven days. though this is no longer done even now during those days (in that house) no one can touch u esp the cook.. ur food is also given to u seperately. it feels so horrible (thats why when i go to visit im carefull of the dates).when i saw was anandi had to go thru i completely understood how she felt (but my mum told me that for some reasn achar does get spoilt if made my a woman in her periods..something to do with hormones) even on normal days the food is cooked without onions and garlic.. and noone can enter the kitchen once the food has been cooked until she has eaten. <br><br>when my granddad died as per the custom dad , his brothers and daadi had to sleep on the floor on chatais and eat food cooked by themselves for 13 days..no salt , masala, nonveg, etc. and could only wear clothing with no stitches like dhoti or saari. daadi also follwed eveything that daasisa in the serial ahd said.... for a year she wore white and had her own seperate kitchen. she slept in her own room but the bed was changed to a hard charpai bed with a straw mattress and a thin cotton one on top of that. she did all this for a year till the barsi. now she doent wear red or veyr bright colors but everthing else is like before.. there r no rules here like widows being apshagun at functions or widows having to shave their heads. but till the one yr barsi a mourning period is observed in all the childrens houses. for a yr the immediate family (barring grand children) doesnt go to functions like weddings etc. for the rest of the relatives its just 3 days i think. and here the brahmin families follow this. the funny part is the ppl who keep this 3day mourning thing could be upto ur eight cousin!! after that u rnt considered related. we actually have a family tree book that gets updated every 10 yrs and can trace our family back to 17 generations!!! last yr when someones wife died during the hols my daadi took this book out to check if he had to follow the custom... thank fully only my granny had to .. hers was the 8th generation!!<br><br>my daadi isnt a bad person at heart but yes i guess it would be very diff to change a lifetime of conditioning esp at her age. she does tell us to follow the reeti reevaz but she also loves and spoils us grandkids to bits.<br><br>