Debate Mansion
Debate Mansion

India-Forums

   

Politics and Relationships

return_to_hades IF-Veteran Member
return_to_hades
return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 21461

Posted: 04 March 2009 at 10:48pm | IP Logged
This article on yahoo today was interesting

Source: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-03-02/looking-for-mr-far-right/

Somewhere in between college and the election, I started allowing politics to dictate the kind of men I date. And the worst part is, it's not just Obama supporters who turn me off—it's often my father's.

The election killed my personal life.

OK, maybe killed is a bit of an exaggeration. But it does seem to be on life support. Of all the things people warned would happen post-election, no one ever said anything about how complicated dating would become. Especially if your dad loses the election. There are things that have been difficult, but nothing quite as tough as dating. I fear the election has destroyed my ability and desire to date. Now, I cannot say at any point in my life that I have been very good at dating. But I have become something I used to despise: people who let politics dictate his or her attraction to someone.

One extreme fan of my mother's recently told me I could be "his Cindy." And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother.

I am a person that has always prided myself on keeping politics out of my relationships. I think I would have probably graduated from Columbia friendless had I made politics a focal point in any of my friendships during college. I have many friends who openly voted for Barack Obama (many of them also didn't). Who my friends voted for is of no concern to me. I am adult enough to understand that people vote for their own personal reasons, and I know how personal politics can be to someone.

This is how I expected my attitude to remain after the election. And it has continued that way with my friends. But when it comes to dating, it's become an entirely different subject. And I promise, no one is more surprised by this revelation than I am. If I am adult enough to understand that voting is one of the most personal things a person can do, why am I letting it affect how attracted to someone I am? I know that no one can really explain sexual attraction and why you are drawn to someone or not—but at this point in time, nothing kills my libido quite like discussing politics.

Here's the biggest surprise: I am not only turned off by people who voted for Barack Obama, but I am also turned off by people that voted for my dad—or more so, obsessive supporters of my dad. Recently, over dinner, a guy started explaining his reasons for supporting President Obama during the election (I didn't ask, I think the poor guy felt guilty) and I immediately found any attraction I had previously had dissipate. But same thing happens if a guy starts talking about all the reasons why my father should be president. I have the ultimate Catch-22 in post-election dating. So where does that leave me, and who exactly am I attracted to? Let's just say I'm spending a lot of time writing and even more time with my girlfriends.

Like many people, when I meet a new friend in real life, we also become Facebook friends. And when I friend someone on Facebook (especially someone who is interested in going out on a date), I read their profile to learn more about them. This seems to be where my problems start. Most people list the candidate they supported during the election. Some have joined the group "A Million Strong for Obama." Some are even part of the group "I have more foreign-policy experience than Sarah Palin." When I see this type of information I immediately start thinking: How liberal is this person? Do they know I am Republican spawn, against everything that this person believed in during the last election? How important is politics to this person? When I find my father's face staring back at me on a potential date's Facebook page I am equally put off. I don't want to see my father's picture near any picture of a guy I am attracted to, especially if we haven't even had dinner yet.

Going on actual dates is even harder. One way or another, the election always comes up. If a guy starts speaking strongly in support of President Obama, my mind starts wandering. If he's such a huge supporter, how much does he dislike my father? Is he a huge anti-war advocate and does he know I have two brothers in the military? But then, again, there go my father's supporters. Now let me be clear: My family and I will always be grateful for all the wonderful people who supported my dad and the campaign. Still, when it comes to my personal life, I don't want to date someone who idolizes my dad.

Nothing makes me more ill than the idea of some guy bragging to his friends that he was going to go on a date with "John McCain's daughter." (Unfortunately this has happened more times than I would like to count and each time I can sense it within the first 30 seconds of meeting them.) One extreme fan of my mother's recently told me I could be "his Cindy." And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother. No, I'm not kidding. Any guy that has a fetish for older women in pantsuits and large pearls obviously only finds my last name attractive about me.

But the real problem with men who voted for my dad is that I never know to what degree of a fan they are of his. Are they so extreme that they would date me no matter how much they may or may not like me just to meet my dad? Once I went out with a guy who said the food I had ordered was a "maverick choice" and proceeded to tell me, "Wow, straight talking must run in the family." It's like someone taking Lisa Marie Presley out on a date and singing "Hound Dog" in the middle of dinner.

I know that during the election, I was quite visible and campaigned very hard for my father. During that entire time, I did not go on a single date because I was too busy. And too paranoid about getting set up for some sort of weird "gotcha" moment. I just assumed that would all go away once the election was over. Little did I know, dating would become much more complicated and much less fun than it was in college. I am sure I am not being fair to all the men out there, but my recent experiences have left me scarred and wary of dating. At this point, my biggest aphrodisiac is an apathetic attitude toward politics.

So to all the fathers out there: If you want your daughters to be single in her 20s, I can say this—run for president.

Meghan McCain is from Phoenix. She graduated from Columbia University in 2007. She previously wrote for Newsweek magazine and created the website mccainblogette.com.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It does not have to be personal relationships - but relationships in general friends, family, co-workers

1) Do you think politics effects our relationships? Do bond with or move away from people with certain political views?
2) Do you find yourself liking or disliking people based on politics? Is it based on viewpoint - or the fact that they just keep talking politics.
3) Do you find your friends and family politically like minded or diverse?
4) Would you consider political compatibility in relationships the same way religious, cultural compatibility is considered?

Vinzy IF-Stunnerz
Vinzy
Vinzy

Joined: 03 December 2005
Posts: 27064

Posted: 05 March 2009 at 1:17am | IP Logged
1) Do you think politics effects our relationships? No.
Do bond with or move away from people with certain political views?
No
2) Do you find yourself liking or disliking people based on politics? B4 I used to, but now a days anyone can become a leader,. Parties giving ticket to film star,Criminals,etc etc political parties dont have correct policies.
Is it based on viewpoint - or the fact that they just keep talking politics.
Based on viewpoint.....
3) Do you find your friends and family politically like minded or diverse?
When am in Collage I worked in left parties students unions, Read carlmarx,Mavo seth's and lenin's books lol, yes that time theres some clash between other group people, Inside family no politicsSmile
4) Would you consider political compatibility in relationships the same way religious, cultural compatibility is considered?
Politics is a game,some play with religion,some play with culture n region,just show off or give lot of joote wade.Now a days a Leader is same like a BOSS.
 
I think politics views now a days depend upon leaders,I think Party is big , not a leader,  if the party have some good policies, then the leaders can do better jobs. A person political views can change depend upon time n situation.
persistence Goldie
persistence
persistence

Joined: 11 August 2005
Posts: 1779

Posted: 05 March 2009 at 3:31pm | IP Logged
I think it happens. DIfferent political views arise from our personal and deeply valued values, I believe. If others' values turn you off, there is bound to be clash. But I think this only happens when one is momentarily aware of the clash; others times, the values/political views etc. hang out in the background, and nobody would bother. And it doens't even have to be politics (as in legislative, etc.), it can be something as simple as office politics, power relationships, etc. that can effect relationships (positive or negative).
 
Maybe later, I will write more.
*Woh Ajnabee* IF-Sizzlerz
*Woh Ajnabee*
*Woh Ajnabee*

Joined: 15 September 2007
Posts: 22979

Posted: 05 March 2009 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
[QUOTE=persistence][/QUOTE]

Whoa, Reepu! Shocked Hug
Boy oh boy has it been a long time, never thought I'd run into you here. I know, you don't recognize me. But you know me, we go long back, waaay back, to go the good old KYPH days ... me and you the sole Angad supporters. Ring a bell? Wink

Still no? Ahh, okay ... I shall let you ponder and get back to me ....

@RTH: I'll get back to your topic later, muy interesante as usual. Smile
return_to_hades IF-Veteran Member
return_to_hades
return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 21461

Posted: 05 March 2009 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades


The quick skinny on my answers

1) Do you think politics effects our relationships? Yes. Do bond with or move away from people with certain political views? Never noticed, but I do.
2) Do you find yourself liking or disliking people based on politics? Yes I'm a flower child born in the tech era. Is it based on viewpoint - or the fact that they just keep talking politics. A mix of both. Sometimes you like people till they open their mouths. LOL
3) Do you find your friends and family politically like minded or diverse? I am socially and fiscally liberal. I get along with fiscal conservatives if they redeem themselves by bing socially liberal. If someone is not socially liberal I have a harder time getting along with them despite fiscal liberalism. If someone is fiscally and socially conservative then fuggetabout it. The kind of town I live in makes most people socially and fiscally liberal - that  am sometimes terrified of the scary worlds down south. LOL
4) Would you consider political compatibility in relationships the same way religious, cultural compatibility is considered? Most people do not think about it, but it makes a difference - especially in extremities. Two people with fundamentally opposing social values and ideologies will have a hard time. Although strangely my pet peeve has always been hard science atheists. Being a Jedi Knight, I need people to feel the force. LOL

return_to_hades IF-Veteran Member
return_to_hades
return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 21461

Posted: 05 March 2009 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*


@RTH: I'll get back to your topic later, muy interesante as usual. Smile


You owe me a response here and in gayism. LOL
persistence Goldie
persistence
persistence

Joined: 11 August 2005
Posts: 1779

Posted: 05 March 2009 at 8:54pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by *Woh Ajnabee*

Originally posted by persistence



Whoa, Reepu! Shocked Hug
Boy oh boy has it been a long time, never thought I'd run into you here. I know, you don't recognize me. But you know me, we go long back, waaay back, to go the good old KYPH days ... me and you the sole Angad supporters. Ring a bell? Wink

Still no? Ahh, okay ... I shall let you ponder and get back to me ....

 
It's been long. Angad and KYPH is dead and burried in the ground.LOL 
 
YOu know my nameShocked who are you? bolo, bolo (remember, kareena in kabhi kushi kabhi gham?, she goes, who are you?LOLEmbarrassed) I can't think of a name ... legally blondeConfused soniConfused who?OuchTell me!Embarrassed
 
raj5000 Moderator
raj5000
raj5000

Joined: 01 January 2006
Posts: 11737

Posted: 05 March 2009 at 9:17pm | IP Logged
1) Do you think politics effects our relationships? No Do bond with or move away from people with certain political views? Depends, atleast 60% views should match,
2) Do you find yourself liking or disliking people based on politics? Is it based on viewpoint - or the fact that they just keep talking politics. Not really, I have had major political arguements with friends that seems like a big fight to 3rd party, but I mean end of day, we are cool as if nothign happened lol
3) Do you find your friends and family politically like minded or diverse? 50 - 50, but I can see my POV's have changed with time.
4) Would you consider political compatibility in relationships the same way religious, cultural compatibility is considered? NO hell, thats the last thing...I mean come on... ghar mey atleast politics nahi aaye toh aachaa hai lol

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
Politics in India Forums

2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 10 11

Author: Crimson_Sky   Replies: 86   Views: 6850

Crimson_Sky 86 6850 11 December 2009 at 10:46pm by return_to_hades
Can Long Distance Relationships Last?

2 3 4 5

Author: return_to_hades   Replies: 39   Views: 2181

return_to_hades 39 2181 25 October 2009 at 11:36am by MrMonster
Age Difference in relationships?

2 3 4 5 6 7

Author: saatphereizcool   Replies: 50   Views: 6587

saatphereizcool 50 6587 02 September 2009 at 8:13am by baz786
POLITICS FOR TV!!!

Author: rgupta29   Replies: 0   Views: 334

rgupta29 0 334 07 May 2009 at 10:55am by rgupta29
Unity in Diversity in Indian Politics

Author: shrutichopra   Replies: 6   Views: 1672

shrutichopra 6 1672 01 March 2009 at 2:38am by peridot.

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels
Forums

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index