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time for a change.PG8!updt!!!!! (Page 2)

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Girl_2007

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Girl_2007

Joined: 25 November 2007

Posts: 5755

Posted: 14 April 2009 at 11:03am | IP Logged
Originally posted by legallyzoya

aww thanks a lottt!!
Ill update it today
im glad you guys like it

@girl_2007..i dont know hwo guys feel..im a girl :)
but a guy kidna admitted this to me., i mean how he feels aroudn a girl he's been crushing for years.i just elaborated  it...belvie it or not...its mroe intense than this..all he wants is to see her happy..:) sweet na??

 
sighs*... yes, indeed sweet... Embarrassed 
well, i guess, it doesnt happen in every crushConfused has to be a special one, i mean, like some girls, have... dozens of crushes (BlushingSillyROFL) but we wont care as much for a tv actor as for a boy we use to meet weekly and who is always there in mind no matter how many other boys u try to check out...
in guys case, they make really... silly comments on ladies, but... i cant imagine those same boys deep inside caring for a girl of the same class...
in short, i too wanted to know about it.. Tongue as im not in the most appropiate age to ask to a friend, infront of friends, coz they are not mature enough, im eagerly waiting for some ocassion... to interview some randomly choosen boy..
will you reflect that knowledge in the fic, through the narator words? Day Dreaming
do update soon plezzz... Embarrassed

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legallyzoya

Goldie

legallyzoya

Joined: 27 February 2007

Posts: 1007

Posted: 17 April 2009 at 6:39am | IP Logged


I stood by the guys table and whispered into Nia's ears ' We won the bet'.

Nia grinned.

'Hey Neal' I said smiling at Neal who was looking at us with a huge grin plastered on his face.

'Hey Amel what secrets?' Neal asked me smiling.


Neals a nice guy, but he should stop acting like my best friend.


'Nothing really……so how you been?' I asked him.

'Im fine and you?'

'Am good....'

Then Rahil turned towards me and said 'Hey Amel' in this extra cheerful way.

 'h-hi' I stammered.

'Soo wasaa?' he said smiling at me.

Rahil was pretty cute. Okay he was seriously cute. And charming.

And....never mind.

'Nothing much….You temme'' I mumbled.

'Nothing...Arre sit down na....' he said.

'No we are going....'

'Arre no sit....' Neal insisted.

So I sat in between Prithwish and Nia. I felt like a dog. They say sit and I sit!  

Aman and Mihir just looked at me ,smiled and got back into their conversation.

'Sooooo Miliii, how you been?' Prith asked me.

'Im fine, how are you?'

'As usual....biji-biji..Rocking the world and all ...' he said with a smug smile.

He thought he was the coolest person on earth.

Maybe he was... he had a style of his own. And his personality did not go with his name at all. Prithwish Jhabak! But he carried off his name like it was a name every person in this world would die to have. That's the best thing about Prithwish, he's happy with everything. And sometimes I feel like he can change our moods, he spreads positive vibes.

'who won the bet?' he asked me grinning.

'Even you know?' I asked him.

'Kisi ne bet lagaya ho...Aur mujhe nahin pata...ho sakta hain kya?' he asked.

He was on bets all the time after all...

Nia and I had put this bet with Samia didi. And we won.It was like there are these 2 youngsters working with us. Sharol and Nishant. And we knew that something was cooking between them, But Samia thought that they were just good friends. I mean she did tie rakhi to him last Raksha bandhan. But'things change....

 

'Course I do' even I knew something was cookin between them'

'Ha! See even you know…am telling u Mia na, shes so dumb'

'Who's dumb?' I heard a familiar husky voice ask me.

I turned around to see this gorgeous girl standing behind me.

She wasn't very tall, infact she was tiny. But very beautiful. She had an olive complexion; her eyes were dark brown, filled with mischief.

She had a smile that would make any criminal spill out his deepest, darkest confession. That wasn't the only advantage this young energetic journalist had. She was smart. Super smart infact. A vision to change the world. The confidence to do it.

'Tu...Phir kaun?' I said laughing.

She pulled a chair and joined us too.

We started chatting. Idhar udher ke batein and all.

I noticed Rahil kept looking at me.

And I started getting conscious. I hate it when someone notices me too much or stares at me.

I started playing with my hair and I looked down. That is what I do when I get nervous.

Finally I looked up at him, and instead of get embarrassed he just grinned at me.

Neal looked at me at the same time. So did the other guy next to him whose name I cant remember. He is very shy. That's all I know about him.

'Hey Mili' dint you participate in the youth champion debate competition?' Neal asked me.

I raised my eyebrows when he called me 'Mili'

'Um no. did you?' I asked him.

'Yeah…I thought you'd be there. You're always there...' he said

'Yeaahh...only for the last 2 years actually ' I said.

And Rahil laughed. I was feeling very awkward.

I wouldn't mind if he went from here.  Rahil I mean. I feel very awkward.

'Sooo Amel you're into debating huh?' Rahil asked me.

'Yeah. But I aint that good at it'

Others do not humiliate me. I do it myself.

'That's hard to believe…I mean you do talk a lot!'

'Well yeah if I can't convince them I confuse them ...im pretty good at that...'  I said.

'Merese poocho Na...She makes the simplest thing sound complex...'  Samia didi said.

'Well I can't help it. You're such a airhead...if you use two big words you get lost....'i joked.

Well anyone would see it is a joke, since Samia didis stringing of words was amazing. She could insult someone without offending them.

And sometimes she comes up with such smart things that would just make your bolthi bandh. Literally.

'Yeah sure miss ''i so-confuse-the-world'' she said,

Neal grinned. 'We'd make a good team then..id do the convincing and you do the confusing..' Neal said.

'And people would just go crazy' that shy guy sitting next to Rahil said.

I looked at him smiling slightly; finally i heard something out of his mouth. He is soo silent, he makes you wonder if he has voice or what.

Infact he is the only person in ''united' that i haven't had a conversation with him. Apart from rahil. i mean at least Rahil says 'hi' and stuff.

This guy pretends like i don't exist.

'Well they would make a pretty good team if Neal lets her say something… He talks more than her' rahil said laughing.

Rahil was always joking and he was always cheerful. A true mood elevator.

And everyone laughed.

'And you're into arts right?' I asked Rahil

'Yup..i paint'

'What kind?'

'I do portraits and abstract' he said.

'Well actually only abstracts. He starts doing a human face but then it turns out to be a blur of colors. He calls it abstract' Nia joked.

And Rahil stuck out his tongue like a small kid.

How cute.

'Which paints do you use?' I asked trying to continue the conversation.

'Acrylic'

'Hmm…haven't you tried oil yet?'

'I do. But I prefer acyclic....' he said.

'And hey dint you like get an award for that science thing?' I asked the shy guy.

He turned red. Did I say something wrong?

'Um yeah' was his reply.

And we had the most dull and one-sided conversation in the history of umm....one-sided dull conversations? :

'What was it based on?'

'Newtons law of conservation of energy'

'Oh toh it was a working model?'

'Yeah'

'Even ma friend participated in it. I dunno if you know her...Dhristhi?'

'Umm yeah...The one with the frizzy hair, millions of pimples and glasses?'

I raised my eyebrows. Yes she wasn't exactly attractive, but she was nice.....

'Yeah her...shes very smart you know...there is much more to her than her outer appearance...'

'Yeah I know she got upset when she dint win first' he blabbed and then it looked like regretted saying that.

'She is pretty competitive...'i admitted.

But then it's defended her too, 'that's the only thing she is confident about...'.

Okay i don't like him, he doesn't like me. That's pretty clear now.

Rahil seemed to sense the same thing so he bought in humor again, 'thats how smart people should be....stick to their books, shouldn't think that he is the king in everything...what say Neal?'

Neal laughed.

If i was Neal id turn into powder with embarrassment.

I told you he is so weird.

'Im hungry...lets go' the shy guy said.

And rahil got up at once. Dylan and Aman also got up, Aman complaining how much the smell of chicken made him guilty. He loved the movie chicken little. He even gifted me the 'chicken little' DVD on my birthday!

Neal hung around though.

I just sat silently.

'Did you feel bad for what Arman said?'

'Arman who?'

'The one in black..'

Oh the silent guy.

'No... .'

'Why do you feel so duty-bound to defend your friends always? You've got to admit Dhristhi is competitive...very much...last time when she won in singing she made Sucha big face at me....' nia said

I laughed.

'Nothing like that...its just that...i had to defend her..Im her friend right....'

'Yeah...'

'And come on this guy doesn't even talk to me...and suddenly when he does he isn't that sweet...'

'It's just that he doesn't talk at all...' Samia said.

'what crap..He talks when he wants....i know..' nia said.

And then comes up a new bet

 

Prithwish: he talks.

Mia: yeah i saw that...

Nia: he is just shy.

Me: no it's called attitude.

Nia: no. he is shy...Dont you get it?

Me: of whom

Nia opened her mouth to say something but then closed it.

Prith: okay bet...

Nia: haan, he will come and talk to you...personally...Nicely

Me: you won't force him into doing it Na?

Nia: mein paagal dhikthi hoon kya..Im telling you Na, he will talk to you, you guys will become best of friends...maybe you'll want to go out with him too...

And that made me laugh.....

 

 

 

 



Edited by legallyzoya - 15 May 2009 at 10:54pm

Girl_2007

IF-Rockerz

Girl_2007

Joined: 25 November 2007

Posts: 5755

Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:42am | IP Logged
ShockedShocked... shocker part!
i thought u would be continue narating through Armans voice... he is so cute! Embarrassed but wow! as per me i think Ameels naration part was really necessary in the love story thing... thats gives us the right impression and explanation of what is exactly going in there.. Smile
and... Shocked didnt know that their relation is like that! i mean, they dont even talk, he avoids her.... Confused gulp..
i must congratulate you ClapClap this is one of the really less times i have ever read about such a complex and real feeling, sensation and situation in a story... trust me, i have felt it, and its not even a bit easy to describe it.
btw.. so, do u know a girl who like Amel to? were u a lucky viewer of a story like this, a viewer wich got to know how both parts of the relation feel? or u just, knew about the boys part and u wrote Amels naration based on that?
anyway, the description of the ppl around is cool Big smile, too many names at the same time though... but its ok..will get used to it if needed. Tongue
LOLLOL her friends are beating about Arman starting a conversation wid her? Tongue aw! exciting and cool... wow do they know about Armans feelings?? ShockedBig smile a secret known by all then! LOLTongue
waiting eagerly for the next part!!! Embarrassed how many parts have u got written? Tongue.... post the next soon na...plzzz... EmbarrassedBig smile
 

legallyzoya

Goldie

legallyzoya

Joined: 27 February 2007

Posts: 1007

Posted: 17 April 2009 at 9:56pm | IP Logged
Well i just heard of something like that
okay i know both the sides...yeah i dunno much about them....i elaborated a bit. okay a lot. :p
well i had to write Amels POV too...infact there are other POVs too cause its not just about Amel and Armaan ...theres a lot more to it :)
Ill update ASAP
and am glad u liked it
thanks a lot as ususal..for all ya support Hug

legallyzoya

Goldie

legallyzoya

Joined: 27 February 2007

Posts: 1007

Posted: 17 April 2009 at 10:44pm | IP Logged

Amels POV

Writers of tomorrow

Assignment one: descriptive writing

 

At first he'd just look like any other guy to you, but on a closer notice he's much more than just a normal-looking guy. His hair isn't just black; it is actually many strands of chestnut brown and black. His light eyes are specked with topaz. It's a weird color, a beautiful mixture of light brown and topaz. His nose seems to be perfectly carved; infact it looks like his face is perfectly designed. When he smiles, his perfect set of white teeth, it would make any person go weak in their knees.

 

Okay I suck at this!

 

'What are you doing?' bhaay asked me.

'Nothing am just trying to finish off my assignment. I suck at descriptive writing. I so cannot describe anything! '

 

'How did your classes go' he asked me ignoring my critical remark on myself.

 

'It was good… but everyone there are so boring, they hardly talk, even that shy guy, Armaan is there. he pretends like he doesn't know me''

 

'Okay in short, you are friendless there?' he asked laughing. He knows how much i hate it when I don't have anyone to talk to.

 

'Um no. I made friends but um they aren't you know…exactly my kind…some of them are super girly, Siya joined cause this guy she likes come there…and the others want to win booker man prize, so they take this thing too seriously. ' I said.

 

And he just snorted for a reply.

My brother is a sweetheart, we don't normally fight...he loves me too much for that. I love him too, but I do like fighting with him, he doesn't let me though. He's very calm to retort back. That's what I miss about my other brother Arjun. He is hyper and according to him he gets indefinable pleasure, in making my life miserable. I share the same feelings with him. And sadly, am missing him...and I do like him, but that's not something he needs to know. And anytime I have a problem even a small one like my assignment, bhaay will pretend like he doesn't care, but somehow he makes sure he helps me out.

 

After sometime he asked again, 'so whats this assignment about? Want me to help?'

See what I mean...

He's always been a sweetheart.

 'Describe someone you know'

 'Ohh who did you describe?'

 'You'

'Me...Aaarggh, go describe someone else Na, they might think that your brother looks like a clown''

 'But he is..' I said in a fake sincere tone. He threw a cushion at me and asked me to read what I wrote. After I did he said with a smile ' Hey I sound better than I look''

I rolled my eyes.

'Well see, the whole point is that a  writer through his or her words should be able to inspire people, make them believe in  things they haven't seen but only read!...yeah it's a different thing that am much more handsome than that..' he was cut short when I heard mom call out his name.

 

'Aadil, Mili…did you hear that?' Mom asked us, she sounded scared

We both ran on top.

Mom was walking swiftly  to the balcony, 'Did you hear that?' she asked again,

'No mom, what?' Bhaay asked.

'The gunshots!' she said.

'Arre ma...it must be pataaka' I said.

'Yeah maybe...because we dint hear anything...did you Mili?'

I shook my head for a reply.

But mom was sure that what she heard weren't fire crackers. she ran to the balcony.

Even I went behind them to the balcony and I peered out to see people gathered outside my apartment's gate and the police were there-already!

Bhaay ran down quickly, when I followed him, they both stopped me.

But I wanted to go. I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to help people. Why aren't they letting me?

I called Samia didi the next thing

'Hello?' I spoke desperately into the phone

'Arre Mili Beta...Hello...How are you?' her mom picked up the phone.

'I'm fine. Is Samia didi there?'

'Yeah one minute'' and she called out Samias name.

'Heyyylooooo' samia said in a singsong tone.

'Samia di', someone got shot outside my gate'

'What'?'

I heard her mobile phone ring; she picked it up and spoke very fast

'Mili ill be there in a jiff, don't go out....'

And she kept the phone.

I went back to the balcony; I saw bhaay talking to the police. The crowd that had gathered there was sent back. It must be pretty serious.

But who got killed? That was my main question.

I knew texting bhaay now was not a good idea. Once Samia di comes ill ask her.

And within two minutes I saw her red Innova drive near my house.

There were many journalists outside, she showed her pass and they let her meet the police.

That's girls got influence.

 

 



Edited by legallyzoya - 15 May 2009 at 11:05pm

Girl_2007

IF-Rockerz

Girl_2007

Joined: 25 November 2007

Posts: 5755

Posted: 18 April 2009 at 9:26am | IP Logged
Originally posted by legallyzoya

Well i just heard of something like that
okay i know both the sides...yeah i dunno much about them....i elaborated a bit. okay a lot. :p
well i had to write Amels POV too...infact there are other POVs too cause its not just about Amel and Armaan ...theres a lot more to it :)
Ill update ASAP
and am glad u liked it
thanks a lot as ususal..for all ya support Hug
woooowww!! Big smile how much i wud have wished to be the viewer of a crush... Tongue
i know i know, its not just about these two teens, but many things, u wrote it in the first chapter, Big smile and when i saw Amels point of view, i guessed there might be few points of view more too.. Big smile
btw, writting for the first episode armans narration was a good ideaBig smile, a boy words are pretty attractive and rare in stories... Clap
thanks to you for writting and for updating so fast! Hug Big smile

Girl_2007

IF-Rockerz

Girl_2007

Joined: 25 November 2007

Posts: 5755

Posted: 18 April 2009 at 9:33am | IP Logged

how old is she? Big smile how old are the lead characters.. are they teens, coz just a second back while writting my other comment i thought they must be between 15 and 17,... Tongue anyway, so, Amel has got two brothers, they are a family of three, and she must be the youngest or the second youngest... Tongue hey! i noticed, (second time i read, im reading now, to post a detailed comment u know)LOL.. i think im too open...  anyway, Arman and Amel go to the same class..! Big smile thats pretty cool.

oh my.. gun shots? in wich country do they live?... now, ClapClap congrats on the first serious part Big smile, so fast! just, looking forward to assure that no one of their relatives got injured or anything.. Tongue u know, ur story, its like a real story, i really get nervous and anxious for the characters... LOL thanks god only while reading... otherwise it wud be too much... LOLTongue
 
omg... Samia seems to be a cool girl (wiv influence...TongueBig smile), so she is a journalist... and Amel wants to be a journalist too... Big smile okay!
 
waiting for the next part! Big smile 

legallyzoya

Goldie

legallyzoya

Joined: 27 February 2007

Posts: 1007

Posted: 18 April 2009 at 9:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Girl_2007

how old is she? Big smile how old are the lead characters.. are they teens, coz just a second back while writting my other comment i thought they must be between 15 and 17,... Tongue

Well Amel, Rahil, Neal, Nia and Armaan are 16 ...the guys must have reached 17..you know a few months difference.Samia is 23, Amels brother is 26, the architecture students {dylan, aman, prithwish} they are all just 21, and amels other brother who';; enter later is just 19..

anyway, so, Amel has got two brothers, they are a family of three, and she must be the youngest or the second youngest... Tongue hey! i noticed, (second time i read, im reading now, to post a detailed comment u know)LOL.. i think im too open...  anyway, Arman and Amel go to the same class..! Big smile thats pretty cool.

:) I know, mayeb thats how they becoem good friends....maaaybbeee...WinkShockedLOL
LOL

oh my.. gun shots? in wich country do they live?
They live in India.....and this incident happened right outside ym house OuchOuchCry
My mom heard the gunshots, di and i were watchignt v...and we told her its pataaka..Embarrassed

... now, ClapClap congrats on the first serious part Big smile, so fast! just, looking forward to assure that no one of their relatives got injured or anything.. Tongue
Thanks a lot...im glad you liked it....
But you never know Archana..this si absed on true facts based on life..which happens all the time...every life isnt that perfect...you need to make ti perfect and in the process you might lsoe someone, win over someones ehart...and what not!
 u know, ur story, its like a real story, i really get nervous and anxious for the characters... LOL thanks god only while reading... otherwise it wud be too much... LOLTongue
Awww thanks a lottHug
 
omg... Samia seems to be a cool girl (wiv influence...TongueBig smile), so she is a journalist... and Amel wants to be a journalist too... Big smile okay!
Yeah shes like her role model ....
 
waiting for the next part! Big smile
I'll update ASAP


Edited by legallyzoya - 18 April 2009 at 9:13pm

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