Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems


Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

time for a change.PG8!updt!!!!!

legallyzoya Goldie

Joined: 27 February 2007
Posts: 1004

Posted: 03 March 2009 at 4:53am | IP Logged

Firstly thanks for opening this post.secondly its about : patriotism,losing, gaining, tragedy  and a bit lovey-dovey:p

This is just a single part out of the 4 part introduction of the real situation.

Hope you guys like it. please review!

I was bored.  The party was so dull.

Our ''fathers'' were sitting in a table to my right. Laughing at their own jokes.


The ''mothers'' were at the other side, discussing perhaps about the new maybelline lip-gloss, or about some article they read in the femina magazine, cooking or something.


And we 'kids' sat at 2 different tables. One for the guys and one for the girls, to my relief, cause I don't react in a humanly way when girls are around me. Especially when shes around me!


In my table there were these three guys who were doing their architecture: Mihir, Dylan and Aman and one of their other friends Prithwish who was doing his mass communication course.

They were by themselves talking and laughing and we hardly paid attention to them, because they were talking about their college.

and we don't study in their college and also because we have absolutely no interest in their project.

Rahil, one of my very good friends was sitting by my side talking to this guy Neal who am not very fond of.  Rahil is extremely handsome according to other girls and Neal is extremely annoying according to me. I mean Neal is a nice guy and all, but he brings in his facts and philosophy all the time. He knows we cant stand ot, so he tried to keep it down'.sometimes. And then another guy whose name i dont know.

But yeah he is pretty annoying.  

And at the girls table was her cousin sister Riya and a couple of other girls.


She wasn't anywhere around.



Good, shes not here, I mean if she was here she would be sitting with them and their table is so close to ours and me being me id perhaps forget how to breathe. Okay that's a bit of exaggeration but seriously, when she is around every part of my body feels duty-bound to make me look like a fool, and making it crystal clear to everyone around that I had a huge crush on her. No actually that's an understatement. Huge crush. No, Gigantic crush that I had since we were 12! And now she we are 16.

 Nia,Neal, Rahil knew about it. But now they are pretending like they dont know. One of Nias bizzare plan. I dont care as long as they keep
their mouth shut.


It was 8:00 pm. Maybe she'd come now.

Why isn't she coming?

Why do you care Armaan? I don't want her to come, remember?

Even though I know id make a fool out of myself, I was hoping she would be there.

I actually dressed up for this stupid stupid party.


'Armaan...Why are you so quiet today?' Rahil asked.

'Nothing, it's just so boring'. I said.

And he smiled. Freak. He knows me well, and anyone who knows me'knows how much I talk! Anytime! Anywhere!

'Do you think this peace thing would be a success?' Rahil asked trying to strike a conversation.

'I guess so' peace is the need of the hour'everyone wants peace now'and after that recent attack, did you know the police actually'' Neal went on and Rahil regretted asking that question.


Oh yeah I forget to mention why the party was organized. A group of these people in Mangalore {that's where I stay} including our parents made a group called 'United'. United has members of most of the religions, and this group organizes peace rallies, marathons, talks and everything to spread the message of love and the need of unity for us to grow as a country. It includes doctors, architects, engineers, I.A.S officers, police et cetera.

There was this Hindu Muslim riot few weeks back, and thanks to this group things have settled down. So this party was to celebrate. The whole inspirational speech thing got over and now we are sitting in our groups chatting.  I just sat and pretended to listen to my friends even though I wasn't listening to them'it was as if the atmosphere was absorbing all the sound.


There were discussing about other stuffs, while I just sat there and sulked. The only thing I muttered for the new few minutes was how hungry I was.


They were then talking about slumdog millionaire and that's when I joined them. Things started getting better, I got more comfortable, she was not coming {I dunno if it's good or bad}, and the waiter served us hot manchow soup. [I told you things got better].


As I took my first sip, Rahil seemed to have noticed something 'amusing', because he was grinning from ear to ear.

'What?' I asked. He just smiled.

'Bhabhis here?' I teased, wondering whether seriously the girl he liked was here.

'Yeah'.my bhabhi' he said with a mischievous smile.

I raised my eyebrows.

'Look left' he muttered softly so that Neal couldn't hear.

Confused I slowly turned to my left and saw her!

Talking to my mom!

C r a p.

As weird as it sounds I choked on my soup. Neal and Rahil looked at me like im a weirdo or something.

Great, she here.  Make yourself embarrassed mode activated.

I felt my cheeks grow warm. I dropped the spoon in my bowl, splashing a bit of the soup on my face.

I told you my body makes sure I embarrass myself.

Wiping my face slowly with a towel I just sat there and gave up on my soup.

I tried hard not to look up.

But she was like this beautiful thing who couldn't not have been not noticed by anyone.

Rahil was laughing; he is the most unemotional guy I've ever had the misfortune to meet.

'Why aren't you having your soup?' the-guy-whose-name-i-dont-know asked.

'Im not hungry'.


'Ok I can be wrong'' the-guy-whose-name-i-dont-know  started, and I looked at him irriatated.

'Yes you are wrong'' rahil said laughing before he could even complete speaking.

he continued, 'Is Amal the conducive for your mental, emotional and physical discomfort' he asked.

Its Amel, I wanted to correct him.

'Dude just ask him if Amel is distracting him'don't throw words like that and make him more confused' Rahil said.

he laughed, 'sorry but is she?'

'Who's Amel?' I asked like I had no idea.

'The girl in orange'

You mean the pretty, extremely breathtaking girl in orange, with the most adorable eyes and the most beautiful curls? Yes.

 'No' I said.

To my luck, Rahil wasn't laughing; neither did Amel hear us mention her name.

Well for a change I do hope she notices me.

She never notices me turn red when shes around, she never caught me staring at her'at least that way id know she was looking back.

God! I sound desperate!

 'What made you come up with such a crappy idea?' Rahil asked.

'Well he turned red' Neal said smartly. I thought he was supposed to keep his mouth shut

and pretend like he doesnt know anything. my loser friends! God, save me
from such friends.

'He turns red whenever any girl is around him' rahil defended me, in a very insulting way.

'Don't believe me? Wait see'.he'll get nervous even around your sister' Rahil continued and Neal grinned.

'Shut up' I muttered.

But Rahil my dear friend felt duty bound to save me'.

'Seriously' he said and then he called out to Neals twin sister Niarika., Who was talking to Amel.

'Hey' Niarika said cheerfully.

I nodded and smiled at her. She was like what, my sister. But i called her

my brother, because she was super tomboyish.

But I had to pretend to be embarrassed since that was Rahils point. I tried ignoring her eye deliberately and Neal grinned.

'This guys got a problem' the-guy-whose-name-i-dont-know  said noticing my  behavior.

'Well its not as sever as yours!' I retorted.

He smiled back. Freak, never gets angry.

'But when we meet him other time, he seems pretty normal..'

'That's because the atmosphere is calm' Rahil said. God he talks such crap. But such crap makes sense to Neal I am sure  because he did not reply.

I was very hungry; I started drinking my soup again.

'Dude loosen up'she wont eat you'maybe she likes you too' Rahil said with a smile.

Yeah right.

And that little devil heard everything said 'You like Amel?' Nia exclaimed like she dint know.

I choked on my soup again.
Okay, so this was their plan. pretend like they had no idea about
my crush and and start teasing em about it from the beginning.
L o s e r s.
loser ideas.

'No' I snapped very angrily.  Her smile faded.

'Sorry-it's just that'well I was pulling your legs'since he mentioned about her maybe liking you. It has to be Amel..Not me Na'and she's so your type Amel I mean'.plus Amels so pretty'Even bhaay has a soft corner for her'.' Nia blabbered pretending to be dumb.

Rahil and I glared at Neal. He blushed and asked her to shut up.
both the siblings are dead. Nia for her stupid plan and Neal for
well having a soft corner or whatever for Amel.

'So'why d'ya call me?' Niarika asked trying to change the topic, but I know she will come back to it again, when am in a better mood. I'm so going to ignore her.

'Nothing, now go' Rahil said shamelessly.

She raised her eyebrows.

'Umm sorry Nia'well actually I wanted water'could you please get me some water?' he asked in a fake-sweet-tone.

She pointed at the glasses of water in our table.

'Well- I cant drink that water' Rahil said.

He is so dumb.


'Cause'cause your brother spat on it'

'Eww bhaay I told you that's gross' she said

Rahil and I looked at him disgusted. He turned red again.

Niarika went and got a glass of water for Rahil.

She returned angrily kept the glass at the table and muttered something to someone's ear who was standing next to her.

'Hey Neal'' a familiar voice said, I dint turn around to look at the girl who was at our table now.




Edited by legallyzoya - 28 October 2009 at 10:22am

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:


*Nishi* IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 26 January 2008
Posts: 14008

Posted: 04 March 2009 at 3:40pm | IP Logged
this story is really nice yaarEmbarrassed
its hilarious how he chokes on his soupROFL
great job
plz update soon!!
Girl_2007 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 November 2007
Posts: 5733

Posted: 20 March 2009 at 4:18am | IP Logged
oh god this is soooo sooooo sooooo.... woww!! lol u wont beleive me but i like very much stories wih are narrated by boys.. i mean, coz, usually all stories, especially luv stories are told by girls na... i just like a lot when he says how nervous he gets.. dat he seems desesperate.. now the question wich i have for you is.. are u sure they also behave, think, feel like that when they are in love, or have a crush?? .. for me, its a big question...
anyway, i got lost in ur story u know, the whole scenario, the dialogues, the characters... wonderful, wonderfully written. ClapClapClap
im looking forward to ur story, it brought a big smile on my face, and im sure it has the same effects on other readers too.. Tongue
i will pm you regarding the next part if u dont update in one week... ahem... EmbarrassedLOL.. im serious!
Girl_2007 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 November 2007
Posts: 5733

Posted: 20 March 2009 at 4:19am | IP Logged
i just read again the red font letters, and i have to say, im looking forward to the more serious parts of it... now it seems like a movie...
SuhanaSafar IF-Rockerz

Joined: 09 December 2006
Posts: 5226

Posted: 22 March 2009 at 3:28pm | IP Logged

Very intestesting story so far!  It's a pleasant surprise that you chose to write in a guy's point of view.  UNITED seems like quite the progressive humanitarian organization.  I look forward to reading more about it.  I hope Neal won't be in competition with Armaan for Amel's affections.  Continue soon!

Girl_2007 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 November 2007
Posts: 5733

Posted: 29 March 2009 at 5:48am | IP Logged
ok, sorry for spamming in ur story topic, but as i said, im pming you =)
legallyzoya Goldie

Joined: 27 February 2007
Posts: 1004

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 3:03am | IP Logged
aww thanks a lottt!!
Ill update it today
im glad you guys like it

@girl_2007..i dont know hwo guys feel..im a girl :)
but a guy kidna admitted this to me., i mean how he feels aroudn a girl he's been crushing for years.i just elaborated  it...belvie it or not...its mroe intense than this..all he wants is to see her happy..:) sweet na??

*Nishi* IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 26 January 2008
Posts: 14008

Posted: 13 April 2009 at 10:35am | IP Logged
^ aww yes thats so sweetEmbarrassed but please update soon today. im really looking forward to it Big smile

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