Advice Corner


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MisaSayu Newbie

Joined: 26 February 2009
Posts: 2

Posted: 26 February 2009 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
Okay So I am in my first year of high school
and well I am not a very social person...I am quite shy
and well not very self-confident. So since i am in high school i decided
i should try to talk to people, make new friends. from my middle school only two of my friends
from my middle school (who i am close with) came to my high school (the rest are all VERY Smart and in special high schools)
So yeah I made some friends, but not really good friends, one of my best friends from my old school is in my school too buh i have no classes with her and she doesnt like joining clubs
So i made a good friend lets call her Alice (dats not her real name but i like the name AliceEmbarrassed)
so Alice is a good friend and all except she gets mad really fast and at stupid stuff.
For Example:
Theres this club we both joined and it ends at 3:30 and then we proceed to a more amusing club.
So i didnt want to go to the first club, and I knew she would blackmail me into going anyways so I didnt say anything. So anyways we have last period class togeatehr, so i was waiting outside the door for her and looking at some paper... when she comes and smacks me on the head (Which i find annoying and have asked her to STOP numerous times)
So I say :
"I AM OFFENDED THAT YOU HIT ME ON THE HEAD I am not Going to go to the first club"
she says
"Well i dont care if you lose some points" ( we get points for every club where in)
and well okay I didnt want her to think I was lying (even though i said that in a jokish way)
so I stayed in the library until 3:30 and then proceeded to the other club, in which she didnt talk to me at all
the next day when we had a class togeather she started talking to me (but in a "whatever" way
and well she is way more social than me, so i can really start feeling lonely, (and she does a good job making someone feel lonely)
so our fight went on
and the next day in math we were talking she was still in her "whatever" mode and she told me she was still angry at me
and apparently she hadnt taken me seriously when i said i wasnt going to the club and i had "ditched" her.
and she was angry ccause i hadnt appoligized, so i did the "responsible" thing and said sorry,
and we were  friends adn it was okay
so when she was talking all watever(BEFORE WE MADE UP), i asked her if she was going to these morning meetings we were go to (i dun go anymore, cause its in da morning and i live far from da school and i have 2 wake up extra early...and my cousin who drops me off hates being woken up at the normal time, and extra early just gets him moodier) so i had just asked her to start a convo (i was bored) and she said she didnt know she would ask the lady in charge....and i didnt say i was going or anything, and yeah we were both supposed to go to this tuition place except i couldnt sign up for it cause it was full, adn i didnt see her all day so couldnt tell her, (and i kinda forgot) anyways when i saw her she got all attitudey again.
cause i am tired of apoligizing, and talking about it with her isnt going to help either cause she'll just turn it around on me, and i am "shy" so she'll probably win ,and the thing is she is a good friend, she waits with me after school when my mom is about to pick me up, (when were not fighting) adn she gives me cookies she baked herself, which is really nice cause she doesnt really like them much.
But my mom makes muffins and i bring them for her sometimes, and she isnt really considerate about them, i mean if i dont bring them she gets all moody
which makes me NOT evr wanna bring them
and yeah she gives me cookies but apparently me giving her muffins isnt teh same cause she bakes cookies and my mom makes the ones i give...
so yeah I need advice, our friendship is evidently not "healthy"
and i still want to be friends with her, but i dont want to talk to her about it
cause she'll just change it
and i dont want to be the one always apoligizing!!
please give me some advice Ouch

Edited by MisaSayu - 26 February 2009 at 7:18pm

mimi0295 IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 24 September 2007
Posts: 26827

Posted: 28 February 2009 at 9:29pm | IP Logged
Hiya, I'm Mimi =)
First off, welcome to I-F, and the adive corner.
Kai, so here's my advice to you:
From what I'm reading, it seems to me that it's you who takes this friendship seriously, whereas this girl you're talking about  (Alice) isnt. Also, seems as though you 2 are completely difference (she's more carefee, Im assuming)
And yeah, Im glad you acknowledge that this friendship isnt a 'healthy' one, because really, it's not. You dont have to be the one apologizing, but this doesnt mean that you 2 shouldnt be friends. Maybe it's just a gorwing up thing, people tend to be more moody during this age. Tongue
Just give it some time, and if it seems as though she's not really caring about what you have to say, then let her know. And say it like you mean it =) Because you're important to, and your thoughts and opinions should count as well. Also, try not to do whatever she says... it'll be kind of giving in to peer pressure, follow your heart.
-- Mimi

Edited by mimi0295 - 28 February 2009 at 9:32pm
AsliiGuy IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 2713

Posted: 02 March 2009 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
But my mom makes muffins and i bring them for her sometimes, and she isnt really considerate about them, i mean if i dont bring them she gets all moody
which makes me NOT evr wanna bring them
awww thats so cool that ur mom makes those. advice, school in the first years are hard, best thing to do is be nice to every1 and join clubs. You will build a super strong network, and through those clubs/meetings you will def make super best firends..I wish i was part of more clubs in HS :(
Angeleyes 2 IF-Sizzlerz
Angeleyes 2
Angeleyes 2

Joined: 02 June 2005
Posts: 11455

Posted: 02 March 2009 at 7:10pm | IP Logged
It think u should sit and talk to her. I have a best friend and she was moody all the time but we sit and talk and things have been better.

If shez ur friend she will be able to understand

rose82 IF-Dazzler

I-F Crazy Creatives
Joined: 02 June 2005
Posts: 4656

Posted: 13 March 2009 at 10:21pm | IP Logged
just ignore her...if she comes back to u,she cares for u.if not,then u shd look for friends who really care for u...not just get angry if u dont get muffins!in case alice does come back,then u both can sit together and talk out your issues.
xsweetbabygyalx Senior Member

Joined: 17 July 2008
Posts: 252

Posted: 18 March 2009 at 8:22pm | IP Logged
i think everybody goes through this stage....i was also very shy....just as asliiguy said, be nice to everyone.....believe me from my own personal experience, by the end of the year, you will have a few or lots of friends.....with your classmates, dont mind smiling while saying "hi, how are you?" to your classmates.....and if anybody was absent, tell him/her what the assignment was for yesterday....believe me from my own personal experience, people do appreciate that.
your friend issue....tell her that it hurts you when she hits you on the head and join clubs for it out, it works things out.....believe me, i have personal experience......dont take whatever she tells you and her behavior seriously because it will hurt you a lot, not her.
good luck !!!
samiya. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 07 July 2008
Posts: 12162

Posted: 23 March 2009 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
Oh I know those sorts of people!
You don't have to be the one apologising all the time..and reply to all she sais don't be quiet or she'll take advantage and she'll probably hurt you more.
My advice to her and tell her that the way she is behaving is not going to taken and if she really takes you to be her friend then she'll apologise for her behaviour and if she acts totally different and says OH I DON'T CAREE MANN! whatever then seriously she was never your're in school to study right? you could make friends and it's nice to have friends but what you shud really be worrying is about your many different types of people come and go in life...don't let anyone make a difference in your life...carry on happily because when you feel that no one is with you..remember that god is always with you no matter if anyone is there or not =)
aish_punk IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 11 January 2008
Posts: 20577

Posted: 30 March 2009 at 4:19am | IP Logged
Well I think that Alice might like you..n she jus wanz things in her way!! :|..maybe she's more outgoing den u...n she might joke around about a few things wich hurt maybe she's not aware of the fact..she may get mad soon..n ur fight may extend but i suggest just talk 2 her about this in a very sensible manner..if she still shows attitude..n u don like her behaviour..i thnk it;s time u made new frnds :)

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