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Once Upon A Bards Verse! (Page 33)

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pickytg

Goldie

pickytg

Joined: 23 September 2007

Posts: 2280

Posted: 11 September 2010 at 10:04pm | IP Logged

Too lazy to reply back to all the niceY comments guys...but i don't want IF to close my thread so am writing this...:D

it's been a while....hope to verse soon :)

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spln

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pickytg

Goldie

pickytg

Joined: 23 September 2007

Posts: 2280

Posted: 28 October 2010 at 9:37pm | IP Logged

Hours passed with all the known
windy rains rustling in tempt
I await a phone call, under expect
I shall overcome this fear
Naturally, time deepens the risk
Tangy shades glancing forward. 



Random.


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araviPebblezPrasanthisplnnidha1983

spln

IF-Sizzlerz

spln

Joined: 06 December 2007

Posts: 11036

Posted: 29 October 2010 at 6:11am | IP Logged
dear 'long time forgotten bard of IF'

Fairly straightforward I thought, going by your usual style nija... except the last line - I wasn't certain why you said tangy? and I feel like it may have been another one of your 'chance sights' ..so elaborate =)

the verse has 'chicago' branded all over it, as I know of the city - in an unmistaken sense of familiarity, and for the obvious reason too, among others...

I think I like the subtlety of this comeback - its more effortless than a lapse in versing should justify!

yours,
faithfully Blushing



ps: i just realized - this is my post #8420 - i like the math-significance of that number LOL


Edited by spln - 29 October 2010 at 6:12am

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pickytg

pickytg

Goldie

pickytg

Joined: 23 September 2007

Posts: 2280

Posted: 21 December 2010 at 9:22pm | IP Logged


It came to you, when in need
and must it go, for another,

Selfish one says, split side
difficult to verify, weight of all.

Never easy to let go, 
regardless of why, how or who.

However long, it's going to go
bond lifetime of seconds, promises
break away before tomorrow.

Hold the tears, borrow feathers
repeat merrier laughs, invincible.

Take a breath, snatch the rest
share some love, rain or snow
this goes, newer path to find. 

It came to you, when in need
it shall go, for another. 


Wanted to write a longer one,  but writing never happens with force, so this is it. Keeping it open, for additions later. Lately, most of my verses have hidden meaning or a thought, this one does too. 

ps: those who get my pms, hope you're all doing fine in your lifes :) 

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araviPrasanthisplnnidha1983

pickytg

Goldie

pickytg

Joined: 23 September 2007

Posts: 2280

Posted: 21 December 2010 at 9:27pm | IP Logged

@jauz..read you comment again. you're right..'tangy' just popped in my head when i was versing and it was so long ago, i can't even recall what it linked it too. :D I always end up with shades of purple when i pause, hence i tried to vary my mind lol


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spln

spln

IF-Sizzlerz

spln

Joined: 06 December 2007

Posts: 11036

Posted: 26 December 2010 at 2:46am | IP Logged
so i read the first line the other day when you linked in the offliner, but i thought i was too sleepy and decided to put it off to the morning... except, then it slipped my mind...

randomly ek dam yaad aya abi!!! so read it just! =)

it does seem like you had an underlying thought here, not a thought to verse about, but a thought that just got woven into a verse...

Never easy to let go, 
regardless of why, how or who.

this is the simplest, but the most effective bit which sums up so much in a way...
Take a breath, snatch the rest
share some love, rain or snow
this goes, newer path to find. 

It came to you, when in need
it shall go, for another.

and this was my favorite... its not always that your verses have a conclusive feel to them, but this one did - not a closure, but a conclusive feel!

masta tha wyfy! =)))



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pickytg

nidha1983

IF-Sizzlerz

nidha1983

Joined: 03 January 2008

Posts: 21070

Posted: 26 December 2010 at 8:06am | IP Logged
Hi Dear How R U so cold yaar but ur ff is really a mind blowing one  cool one

Hold the tears, borrow feathers
repeat merrier laughs, invincible.

May fav lines...
--
Nidha

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pickytg

pickytg

Goldie

pickytg

Joined: 23 September 2007

Posts: 2280

Posted: 24 January 2011 at 9:12am | IP Logged

thanks NJ n Nidha :)


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