British Boy is Dad at 13

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*Woh Ajnabee*

IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 15 September 2007

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Posted: 14 February 2009 at 1:12pm | IP Logged

I don't know why I'm the one that always comes across such articles. Or perhaps I should ask, why am I the one that's always outraged at such articles ... here it is.

British Boy Is Dad at 13, Report Says

By RAPHAEL G. SATTER

posted: 3 HOURS 43 MINUTES AGO

LONDON (Feb. 13) - He's 13. He scarcely looks 10. And according to a British tabloid, he's a father.

Baby-faced and only 4 feet tall, the boy, Alfie, was just 12 when he impregnated Chantelle, now 15, The Sun reported Friday. Shown in a video posted Friday on the tabloid's Web site, the diminutive Alfie takes the newborn girl in his arms.

Asked what he would do to support the child financially, Alfie asks in a small, high-pitched voice, "What's financially?"

The girl was taking birth control pills but missed one, the newspaper reported. Friends and relatives left the family home near Eastbourne, about 70 miles southeast of London, Friday without speaking to reporters gathered outside. The teenagers could not immediately be contacted.

The Sun did not say whether any tests were conducted to prove the boy's paternity. The paper did not offer any immediate comment when asked whether it had paid the family for the story.

Police and child services in Eastbourne, in southeast England, said in a statement that they were "aware of a 14-year-old girl that had become pregnant as the result of a relationship with a 12-year-old boy," adding that they were offering support to both young people.

Alfie's front page picture has sparked renewed debate about teen pregnancy in Britain. The country has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in Europe, and government figures show that about 39,000 girls under age 18 became pregnant in 2006. More than 7,000 of those girls were younger than 16.

"I don't know the individual details of the case, but of course I think all of us would want to avoid teenage pregnancies," Prime Minister Gordon Brown said Friday.

Britain had 27 births per 1,000 women aged 15-19 between 2000 and 2005, according to a report published by Population Action International. Comparable figures are 10 per 1,000 for Spain, 8 in 1,000 for France, and 5 in 1,000 for The Netherlands.

Britain's teen pregnancy rate, however, is still far below that of the United States, which registers 44 births per 1,000 women aged 15-19 and are more line with English-speaking countries such as Australia and New Zealand, which respectively have 17 and 27 births per 1,000 women between 15 and 19, according to the report.

But the country's reputation as Europe's teen pregnancy capital has been an embarrassment to politicians.

In 1999 then-Prime Minister Tony Blair described Britain's record on pregnancies as shameful and vowed to turn it around.

"Put simply, you are still a child when you are 14 and, in a civilized society, children should not be having children," he said at the time. The government has since poured millions of pounds (dollars) into advertising and educational campaigns.

Brook, a U.K. group that provides sexual health advice to people under 25, said teen pregnancies had fallen by about 12 percent since 1998, but more had to be done.

"It can be easy to concentrate on young women but young men need as much support and information," Brook's chief executive, Simon Blake, said.

In a move last year to tackle the high teen pregnancy rate, British education officials announced they would start introducing sex education earlier in English schools. Beginning next year, children as in grades as low as kindergarten will be given basic sex education.

Tony Kerridge, of the sexual health group Marie Stopes International, praised the move, but local lawmaker Nigel Waterson said the pregnancy raised "huge questions" about whether British children were being educated about sex — at the expense of learning about healthy relationships.

Chantelle and Alfie have reportedly pledged to raise the child as best they can.

"We know we made a mistake but I wouldn't change it now," Chantelle was quoted by The Sun as saying.

Alfie's father, Dennis — who reportedly has nine children — said his son told him it was the first time he had sex. He was reportedly allowed to sleep over at the girl's house.

"It hasn't really dawned on him," Patten, 45, was quoted as saying in the paper.

"I will talk to him again and it will be the birds and bees talk," he said. "Some may say it's too late but he needs to understand so there is not another baby."

Britain's youngest-known father was said to be a 12-year-old boy in a suburb north of London who impregnated a young neighbor in 1998.

It might be easier to read the topic from the actual source, there's an image as well:
http://news.aol.com/article/boy-becomes-father-at-age-13/342151

My thoughts:

My question is what the heck were the parents doing when these kids were out there creating this child? Why was this 14 year old girl on birth control pills in the first place? And how is this "progress" in our society if 12 year olds are becoming fathers?

There's a lot of different theories with teenage pregnancies. One such mentioned in this article is of introducing sex education in school --- grades as low as kindergarten. Where will that take us? Why is society so hell-bent on stealing these kids' innocence? Did advocating drug awareness among fourth-graders lead to a decreased involvement of kids in drugs?

Another theory I've heard is that since teenagers can't be stopped from reproducing, they should have open access to any and all methods of preventing pregnancies.

I highly disagree with that. I say that we should take these very kids, find their parents, and knock some sense into their heads. If they were able to practice some good parenting skills, such nonsense would never occur. Instead of investing in sex education for children, we should invest in parenting skills for some of these airheads, mistakenly called parents, that don't know where their child is at any given moment.

Arghh, I could go and on right now. But I won't --- you can breathe now. LOL

Do share your thoughts. Smile

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return_to_hades

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Joined: 18 January 2006

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Posted: 14 February 2009 at 2:50pm | IP Logged

WA why are all your topics about sex? Just kidding!!!

This article has really bothered me a lot. I left a few words in the Kaho Jo Kehna hai thread. In my own personal opinion I view the girl Chantelle as a cradle snatcher. Alfie may be a father at 13 but he still seems completely innocent and naive. Some people may not view as someone who fathered a child as innocent and naive, but have you read what he says. He does not have a grip on the situation. He seems completely unaware of sexuality, relationships etc. He does not know the overwhelming situation that is fatherhood. He receives the baby with the same enthusiasm and affection as a little kid awaits a sibling, or a puppy [By this I do not mean to compare children to pups, but just want to show how his awaiting the newborn is more like childish enthusiasm rather than a father steeped in the maturity and responsibility needed]. To me he is a guy who just went along with the flow of bad timing and choices, without understanding it.

Way too many teenage pregnancies result not in a sexual promiscuisity or immorality on part of the teens, but the fact they they are still too unaware to get a grip on things. In the TV show 'Secret Life of the American Teenager' the protaganist is a smart girl, a good kid with a good sense of morals and responsibilities. She gets into a situation where everything takes place quickly before she can get a grip on it.

Sex ed is a different subject matter, but I think we live in a day and age when parents have to have a 'talk' with kids at a younger age. Most mature older adults have a sense of personal space and intimacy drawn out. We build a concept in our head of what we are comfortable with and not comfortable with. Many of us have a sense of emotional, moral, and physical responsibility some things have in life.

Teenagers are not equipped with that thought process. Too often their body physically develops, but they have not developed maturely. Too often they go with the flow or get taken for a ride because they are too naive and simply have no clue what they are getting into.

Parentsdo not have to go into details of sex ed or dispense condoms/birth control. But parents have to do something to help their pre-teen kids from getting into such situations. Responsible parenthood is a concept that can be taught to kids at an early age. When the kid has siblings, or cousins you can have a simple talk about how much the mom and dad love the kid, what a big responsibility the kid is and what sort of effort that goes into it. You can have simple talks about the importance of family and actually show it to them by taking time to bond with kids as family. This way the kid grows up knowing that having a baby is no childs play and even when they are grown up and married - they will be ready for kids.

As kids grow older they need to understand the concepts of touch - inappropriate and appropriate. An understading of what intimacy is and the consequences of action. This plays a twofold role - it protects children from being taken advantage of by other people. It helps them start drawing their own lines. They will learn to think twice and not get coerced into going with the flow, peer pressure or do things that feel weird just because everyone says its fun and must be done.

Older teens because of the exposure they will receive to sex in highschool must receive sex ed. Sex ed is not education to go have sex, but when done right is an education to thing not twice but thrice. For example the character of Grace in secret life is a devout Christian who even wore a promise ring. Her parents are doctors and have kept her well informed. She uses the resources and information she has not to go out and have sex, but to try and help her peers to to make responsible decisions.

As for Alfie and Chantelle, I repeat again Chantelle is a cradle snatcher. What were their parents thinking letting a fourteen year old girl date a twelve year old boy? Age ought not to matter, but it is a known fact that girls hit puberty and develop way faster than boys. This is another example of why you dont always have to protect your little girls from the boys. Sometimes it is the other way around.

*Woh Ajnabee*

IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 15 September 2007

Posts: 21805

Posted: 14 February 2009 at 3:25pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by return_to_hades

WA why are all your topics about sex? Just kidding!!!
Dang it -- never noticed that. I've only made three topics so far. The first one was on the kidney/divorce settlement, the second one on the sex (GENDER) change operation, and now this one. So technically --- this is my first "sex" topic.

This article has really bothered me a lot. I left a few words in the Kaho Jo Kehna hai thread. In my own personal opinion I view the girl Chantelle as a cradle snatcher. Alfie may be a father at 13 but he still seems completely innocent and naive. Some people may not view as someone who fathered a child as innocent and naive, but have you read what he says. He does not have a grip on the situation. He seems completely unaware of sexuality, relationships etc. He does not know the overwhelming situation that is fatherhood. He receives the baby with the same enthusiasm and affection as a little kid awaits a sibling, or a puppy [By this I do not mean to compare children to pups, but just want to show how his awaiting the newborn is more like childish enthusiasm rather than a father steeped in the maturity and responsibility needed]. To me he is a guy who just went along with the flow of bad timing and choices, without understanding it.

Oh shoot! I didn't know it was posted there. Hmm, I just read it today. Guess Raj will have to close this topic. Alfie is completely naive. And although that may not be something that most want to hear or agree with, its true. I don't know how he ended up in this situation, but the kids' level of ignorance is quite high. I think the girl is a lot more mature and should've known better. Btw, what were the parents doing while this girl was pregnant for 9 months? Did they not know it was a 12 year old who'd impregnated her? Having said that, and agreeing that the birth of the child isn't something the kid understand, let alone fatherhood and its meaning, who's responsible? Now what will happen to this newborn child? Another kid up for adoption because parents (or rather the grandparents) were too ignorant about what their kids were up to?

Way too many teenage pregnancies result not in a sexual promiscuisity or immorality on part of the teens, but the fact they they are still too unaware to get a grip on things. In the TV show 'Secret Life of the American Teenager' the protaganist is a smart girl, a good kid with a good sense of morals and responsibilities. She gets into a situation where everything takes place quickly before she can get a grip on it.

I've seen that show, and you're right the protagonist is a mature, responsible girl. But what do we do now that we have an immature child as a father, who's not even past his own childhood? Agreed that most teenage pregnancies are related to the fact that most of these teens get themselves caught into situations where they lose control, but what are the parents doing? Why let them get into such situations in the first place? How come teenage pregnancies are only an issue in these "westernized" nations, with such high levels of teenage births year after year? Can't we agree that there is a correlation with society's ideals and teenage pregnancies?

Sex ed is a different subject matter, but I think we live in a day and age when parents have to have a 'talk' with kids at a younger age. Most mature older adults have a sense of personal space and intimacy drawn out. We build a concept in our head of what we are comfortable with and not comfortable with. Many of us have a sense of emotional, moral, and physical responsibility some things have in life.

What do you think that "young age" is? Apparently, waiting until the age of 12 may be too late.

Teenagers are not equipped with that thought process. Too often their body physically develops, but they have not developed maturely. Too often they go with the flow or get taken for a ride because they are too naive and simply have no clue what they are getting into.

Again, yes, we can all agree with that, but something should be done to prevent them from ending up in such situations in the first place. Its not just an "incident" anymore, it occurs so often and in so many places, that its become an issue. And underdevelopment/immaturity just doesn't cut it anymore.

Parentsdo not have to go into details of sex ed or dispense condoms/birth control. But parents have to do something to help their pre-teen kids from getting into such situations. Responsible parenthood is a concept that can be taught to kids at an early age. When the kid has siblings, or cousins you can have a simple talk about how much the mom and dad love the kid, what a big responsibility the kid is and what sort of effort that goes into it. You can have simple talks about the importance of family and actually show it to them by taking time to bond with kids as family. This way the kid grows up knowing that having a baby is no childs play and even when they are grown up and married - they will be ready for kids.

I agree.

As kids grow older they need to understand the concepts of touch - inappropriate and appropriate. An understading of what intimacy is and the consequences of action. This plays a twofold role - it protects children from being taken advantage of by other people. It helps them start drawing their own lines. They will learn to think twice and not get coerced into going with the flow, peer pressure or do things that feel weird just because everyone says its fun and must be done.

But again, that requires good parenting skills to be able to do that, and apparently that's what's lacking here.

Older teens because of the exposure they will receive to sex in highschool must receive sex ed. Sex ed is not education to go have sex, but when done right is an education to thing not twice but thrice. For example the character of Grace in secret life is a devout Christian who even wore a promise ring. Her parents are doctors and have kept her well informed. She uses the resources and information she has not to go out and have sex, but to try and help her peers to to make responsible decisions.

Yes, you're right, and again I agree. But how many teens do we have that actually are like that? Or who at least aspire to be that way? (geez, from the way I talk, one would never think that i'm at the height of my last teenage year ... i forget somehow that its not "them" its "us" )

As for Alfie and Chantelle, I repeat again Chantelle is a cradle snatcher. What were their parents thinking letting a fourteen year old girl date a twelve year old boy? Age ought not to matter, but it is a known fact that girls hit puberty and develop way faster than boys. This is another example of why you dont always have to protect your little girls from the boys. Sometimes it is the other way around.

Cradle snatcher? Exactly! What were the parents thinking letting them date at all? So you think the girl took advantage of this little boy? Is that what we're getting at here?

*Woh Ajnabee*

IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 15 September 2007

Posts: 21805

Posted: 14 February 2009 at 3:27pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Sunder-Ladki

This is a real disgusted news ! he is a kid himself ! does he know how to look after a baby or how to take the resposibilities of fatherhood ! sex anywhere in the world under the age of 16 is illegal, is the authority and the law going to take any action. Is that girl fit enough to look after a baby ! Shocking its so easy to have a baby than to look after. Is he earning enough to feed and clothe and buy all necessatis for the poor baby. Its so difficult to after the children by parents who earn to feed their families. Wah english people sex mad both genders. !!

And they say its India and China that are the overly populated nations, that should control the number of births that are occuring.

Edited by *Woh Ajnabee* - 14 February 2009 at 3:27pm

Cute_Tulip

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Posted: 14 February 2009 at 4:20pm | IP Logged

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*Woh Ajnabee*

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Posted: 14 February 2009 at 4:48pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by anon

Actually WA I posted it in sticky topic yday as i was disgusted by it too, my lil views are there along with others but will read this debate later, me2 share yor views WA/others -- check my article i posted in sticky as it was ORIGINAL with pics - the sun always reports the stories like this first LOL

- Its girl in wrong - boy is TOO young/Naive.... Ouch

she took advantage -- will write tomorrow a lecture LOL

but yh i also said same to friend - girls usually grow faster than boys = fact but anyways she took advantage - why culdnt she find boy own age/older?

If other way around in gender - guy = perv, so here i say she is one Embarrassed

Its putting shame on ALL of UK society. Its making it look like we ALL engage in such stuff - when we are all saying its disgusting. Went with friends out and they were saying similar - i don't think anyone is justifying this apart from religious groups that she kept baby as christian perspective - abortion =sinful.

g2g too ill :( wil read replies later Embarrassed

*edit* oh just seen u read article - its ok WA - up to DT to decide but i don't mind you posted debate - ek hi baat hai if was you or me as we share similar views Embarrassed

I'm sorry, I saw your post after I made the topic -- when RTH mentioned it. Haha, I like the fact that you say its okay that I made the topic since we have similar views. LOL

Would you be mad if we had different views and I'd made the topic? LOL

I can't help laugh at the fact that a 14 year old girl took "advantage" of a 12 year old boy.

@Abortion: Oh, I'm in no way saying that the child shouldn't have given been given birth. What I'm saying is that the pregnancy shouldn't have occurred in the first place. how is the newborn at fault that he has a 12 year old father? Anyways, lets not get into that.

Edit: Oh, I'm sorry you feel unwell. Get well soon. Is it that bad flu that's going around?

Edited by *Woh Ajnabee* - 14 February 2009 at 4:49pm

Meena1

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*Woh Ajnabee*

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Posted: 14 February 2009 at 5:56pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by Meena1

I am just speechless.. but then again.. stuff like this happens in subarban indian villages all the time.. doesnt it..? where "kids" are married off at tender ages..

But Meena, child marriage is a different issue. And usually the guys getting married aren't 12 year old boys. This is a case of parental neglect, where parents didn't know what their kids were doing behind their backs. And now we have a 12 year-old fathering a child. There's so many cases of young men or just men in general, who abandon fatherhood, now we have a 12 year old child, who doesn't know what being a father means, let alone that he was responsible for the creation of this child.

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British Boy is Dad at 13

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