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Which one would you do?

divyagirl Goldie

Joined: 31 March 2005
Posts: 1328

Posted: 18 October 2005 at 1:07am | IP Logged

Would you have a arranged marriage or a love marriage? I'm wondering because you can't always trust someone if you have a love marriage but you don't get to choose who you want to get marry if you have an arranged marriage. my family, the girl would visit a boy's house, talk to the boy for 30 min. or so, and decide if she wants to marry him or not.

Nishani IF-Dazzler

Joined: 15 February 2005
Posts: 4566

Posted: 18 October 2005 at 2:44am | IP Logged
I am all for love marriages.....there is never an assurance that arranged marriages could work too. People change all the time. Any kind of marriage is a risk but it is up to the 2 people involved to make it work as best as they can.

My parents will never have an arranged marriage for me as they say that they trust my judgement that I will choose someone that I am happy with.

But my boyriend, Devin and his family still came over to my house when we decided that we wanted to be together. Things are now official. Embarrassed So I still have some old-fashioned Indian traits in me, I guess! Smile
Angeleyes 2 IF-Sizzlerz
Angeleyes 2
Angeleyes 2

Joined: 02 June 2005
Posts: 11455

Posted: 18 October 2005 at 10:12pm | IP Logged
Love marriage
Aparna_BD IF-Dazzler

Joined: 01 July 2005
Posts: 4924

Posted: 18 October 2005 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
I have had a love marriage . My hubby was my boyfriend was 7 years and now i have been married for almost 7 years .The question of trust is both in love as well arranged marriage . Just because your parent chose him/ her doesnot mean you can trust him . If you have known him before marriage , you can find out whether he / she deserves your trust .
hawa_hawai Senior Member

Joined: 13 December 2004
Posts: 700

Posted: 18 October 2005 at 11:06pm | IP Logged
I would have love. I dont think i could amrry i didnt kmnow very well or atall.
vinay_k101 Newbie

Joined: 17 July 2005
Posts: 42

Posted: 19 October 2005 at 5:31am | IP Logged
cant say....
i dont have any clear-cut views on this...
well.. Love marriages always have certain advantages... like u knw d person well before u get married 2 him/her.. its ur own choice... n then ur getting married 2 d love of ur life, so obviously theres satisfaction...
But i m nt against arranged marriages as well...
if v talk abt failed marriages... then there have been cases of both arranged n love marriages failin...
when v date a person, v see d best of them.. bt gettin married n livin 2gther.. v see their best n worst.. so its not 100% assured that a love marriage cant' fail...
In arranged marriage, sum ppl say, that expectations before marriage r nt too high n thus ppl make sarcifices easily... whereas in love marriages, expections r quite high from starting.....

so.. 2 me... i guess theres nuthin wrong abt love as well as arranged marriages... If u love sum1 n u think its a right choice, then i guess ur parents shldnt b havin any probs... so it can b a love-cum-arranged marriage like in d case of Nishani....
sowmyaa IF-Dazzler

Joined: 23 August 2004
Posts: 3658

Posted: 19 October 2005 at 7:05am | IP Logged
I totally agree with Vinay.
TiN24 Goldie

Joined: 21 September 2004
Posts: 1865

Posted: 20 October 2005 at 8:54pm | IP Logged
There are sooooooo many misconceptions about arrange marriages and love marriages. But statistics show that the divorce rate in love marriages is higher then that in arrange marriages.

In my opinion, suppose you have a love marriage. You trusted that person, loved that person and cared so much for that person and suppose one day that person emotionally hurts you. By this I mean, he cheat's on you or breaks your would break your heart more and hurt more knowing the person you loved and decided to spend the rest of your life with was capable of doing such a thing. But suppose you have an arrange marriage and the guy does something bad, it would hurt me, but not as much cause it would take me time to love that person gradually cause we had an arrange marriage.

But I have nothing against arrange marriage. Just as long and the guy is up to my expectations. I will most likely get arrange marriage, but thoroughly do my research before making a final decision. I totally respect my parents decision and respect our culture and understand why we have arrange marriages, but come'on, after all I was born in Canada. I have canadian mentality in me also. Just the way my parents brought me up, I would never and I repeat never do love marriage.

But again, to each it own. Embarrassed

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