changing surname after marriage

uknaik99

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Posted: 17 January 2009 at 9:37pm | IP Logged

Since Congress MP Priya Dutt publicly outraged against her brother Sanjay Dutt about his decision joining SP.. Sanjay Dutt said following in a interview..

' What was your reaction to a part of your family going against your wife, Maanyata, publicly?

My sister Priya (Dutt) has denied that she is against my wife. Being the eldest member of the family, along with Maanyata, I forgive Priya even if she has any anger towards us. Priya is my blood, nothing can change that. However, Maanyata is Sunil Dutt and Nargis' daughter-in-law, and there are no two ways about that. There's only one Mr and Mrs Dutt in Pali Hill, and that's Maanyata and I. Girls who become part of a new family after marriage must assume their new surname and all the responsibilities that come with it.

' Is that a message to Priya?

That's a message not just to my sisters, but to all girls who hang on to their parents' surname. That's become fashionable these days. But I strongly feel that doing so disrespects the person they have married.

' Those are strong words.

This may sound harsh, but if Maanyata had said she wanted to retain her father's surname, I would've felt offended.

' How do you manage to pull off a balancing act between your wife and sisters?

There is no balancing act. My wife is my wife. She's the topmost priority of my life. Any spouse feels the same way. For Priya, her husband Owen (Roncon) is of utmost importance.

' It's now more than year since your marriage, yet your sisters haven't accepted Maanyata?

Look, do you have a sister? Because if you do, then you'll also know that no sister gets along with her brother's wife. Had my mother been alive, she would've happily accepted Maanyata. Maanyata is a home-maker, just like my mother was.

My question is do you agree with him that Married women should change to thier husband's surname not hang to parents

Edited by uknaik99 - 17 January 2009 at 9:38pm

Pradarshak

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Posted: 17 January 2009 at 11:14pm | IP Logged

No, I don't agree with what he says. It's the girls wish if she wants to or not. There should be no problem as long as she does not object to giving her kids the name of father.

After all she was born with it ...... that's her identity .......there is so many memories and MAIKA emotions attached with it .......She spends almost 1/3 of her life with that name. After accepting a person whole-heartedly with taan-maan-dhaan, why pick on name? Give her some space and independence .........let her decide...... you(the man) won't feel disrespectful as Sanjay says here. She will repect you(the man and his family) more for that.

Gauri_3

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Posted: 18 January 2009 at 7:42am | IP Logged

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chal_phek_mat

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Posted: 18 January 2009 at 9:07am | IP Logged

Originally posted by uknaik99

My question is do you agree with him that Married women should change to thier husband's surname not hang to parents

Its the woman's prerogative

Originally posted by uknaik99

Since Congress MP Priya Dutt publicly outraged against her brother Sanjay Dutt about his decision joining SP.. Sanjay Dutt said following in a interview..

' What was your reaction to a part of your family going against your wife, Maanyata, publicly?

My sister Priya (Dutt) has denied that she is against my wife. Being the eldest member of the family, along with Maanyata, I forgive Priya even if she has any anger towards us. Priya is my blood, nothing can change that. However, Maanyata is Sunil Dutt and Nargis' daughter-in-law, and there are no two ways about that. There's only one Mr and Mrs Dutt in Pali Hill, and that's Maanyata and I. Girls who become part of a new family after marriage must assume their new surname and all the responsibilities that come with it.

' Is that a message to Priya?

That's a message not just to my sisters, but to all girls who hang on to their parents' surname. That's become fashionable these days. But I strongly feel that doing so disrespects the person they have married.

' Those are strong words.

This may sound harsh, but if Maanyata had said she wanted to retain her father's surname, I would've felt offended.

' How do you manage to pull off a balancing act between your wife and sisters?

There is no balancing act. My wife is my wife. She's the topmost priority of my life. Any spouse feels the same way. For Priya, her husband Owen (Roncon) is of utmost importance.

' It's now more than year since your marriage, yet your sisters haven't accepted Maanyata?

Look, do you have a sister? Because if you do, then you'll also know that no sister gets along with her brother's wife. Had my mother been alive, she would've happily accepted Maanyata. Maanyata is a home-maker, just like my mother was.

Lets face the facts here

The Dutt kids are into squeezing every ounce dignity of their family name and making money out of it

Sanjay Dutt has done it the entire life(it is delivered some nice movies, I loved them, but his filmi character is very much different from his personal life)

His sister is also retaining the name to do same, if she was some Priya jo-blow, would she have carried her Dad's name?

This is not a example you want to use for Women's cause or any culture discussion

Edited by chal_phek_mat - 18 January 2009 at 9:08am

Gauri_3

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Posted: 18 January 2009 at 9:25am | IP Logged

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SholaJoBhadkey

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Joined: 23 August 2005

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Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:28am | IP Logged

Originally posted by uknaik99

My question is do you agree with him that Married women should change to thier husband's surname not hang to parents

An interesting aside to start a new debate??? Wink

Among Kashmiri Pandits, the woman has to change her first name too when she gets married. She gets a completely new identity Shocked

Meena1

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Posted: 18 January 2009 at 1:14pm | IP Logged

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raj5000

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Joined: 01 January 2006

Posts: 11488

Posted: 19 January 2009 at 11:32am | IP Logged

FYI - http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=606402 . Thanks!

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Posted: 17 January 2009 at 9:37pm | IP Logged

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Posted: 18 January 2009 at 9:07am | IP Logged

Posted: 18 January 2009 at 9:25am | IP Logged

Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:28am | IP Logged

Posted: 18 January 2009 at 1:14pm | IP Logged

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