Arranged marriage or love marriage?? (Page 3)

Knowalot2

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Joined: 31 August 2008

Posts: 9582

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 10:43am | IP Logged

Originally posted by lats55

Originally posted by Knowalot2

Love marriages

I'm sorry but i dont believe in arranged marriages (no matter how sweet or good they sound)
- where the girl is forced to marry or taught from a young age that this is the right thing- when it always isn't

you all r saying that u wud like to fall in love after marrying ur life partners (fairy tale land- real life is not necessarily like Cinderella or sleeping beauty!!)
BUT how do you know that u definitely will fall in love with this person? how do u know that this is the one? Maybe this person doesn't even fall in love with u! or may not reat U the way u like to be treated?
- not a safe option!

at least my love marriage u will be choosing a safe option!

good arguments.. but in india it works... as brought is been such a way that girl fall in love with her husband, due to that reason divorce rates in comparison with west is less.. in west there is no concept of arranged marriage but only love then why the divorce rate is 99% where as in india the rate of divorce is 1%.. practically it shows arranged marriages are more successful than love..

Sorry but i strongly disagree wid this
Success rates does not always corallate with happiness . A marriage may be successful but this doesn't mean that the couple are happy.

There are indian couples who are married for the sake of not having a divorce ("a so called successful marriage")...becoz the wife has kids and doesnt want to see them get left out. SO she SACRIFICES her OWN HAPPINESS for the sake of their kids... they haven't divorced.

depends what u mean by the word success actually!...a happy married life? or the length of how long the couple have been married for!

Edited by Knowalot2 - 09 August 2009 at 10:46am

Knowalot2

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Joined: 31 August 2008

Posts: 9582

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 10:54am | IP Logged

my replies r in pink

Originally posted by iluvyrkkh

I think when we say arranged marriages it immediatly gives the perception of being something forced and negative...but the only difference is that in love marriages you choose your partner and in arranged marriages your parents do...I think arranged marriages are definitly safer since our parents look at all aspects of the boy, including family, culture, background etc and make sure it matches with our upbringing and lifestyle so that we can easily fit in to the new household...

Rarely...
Not all families can research enough into how the other person (prospective groom)thinks!
I've seen a lot of cases where the prospective groom has lied (for example on no. of previous marriages, or mental health)...
no one is a mind reader. We need time to see what the other person's personality is like! at least 6 months. Seen Rakhi ka Swayambar? and how many bad grooms there were there?

Love marriage might be more of external appearences than the more important things of life...
erm no.... love marriages doesn't mean marraige due to attraction ...In love marriages at least the couple can see whether the other person is suitable for their characteristics. U cant judge a person and their family in just 1 day or thru shaadi.com by what they've written in their biodata

and there is nothing to say that there is no love after marriage.
what if u dont fall in love with ur partner after marriage? what if u dont get on well with that person?
You definily fall in love
how can u be so sure? not necessarily! again I can think of lots of cases where actually the true colours of the groom and his family have come out AFTER marriage.

and share that special relationship with your spouse...And today even in arranged marriages the girl and boy spend time with each other and get to know each other before they tie the knot...
not always
anyone can seem like a good person in just a few weeks...but u need at least 6 months to see what the person is REALLY like!

The only type of marriage that I dont works is the eloping wale marriages and as it happens in most films also where the girl eventually comes back...
they're FICTIONAL films..and they emphasise on the romance part of it...thats their job.
it happens in reality also...or even if they leave their family that sadness is always there...just my opinion and maybe its easy for me to say since I knew my husband long before we decided to get married and our parents arranged it for us..but it was not the filmy wala love marriage...
but u knew ur husband b4 getting married to him- so thats different.
Some arranged marriages do work...but not all! (as I've seen)!

Edited by Knowalot2 - 09 August 2009 at 11:00am

Knowalot2

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Posted: 09 August 2009 at 11:07am | IP Logged

Originally posted by sweetladki87

I used to think love marriage is the way to go but after seeing few love marriages break, well not working, I think I would rather go with arranged marriage but i would want to know that guy for 6 mths to 1 yr. at least that way I know, I won't judge that person wrong. (I have tendency to do that...I have judged lot of ppl wrong,.who were my good friends)

and ur saying that arranged marriages always work?

You shud then see the number of arranged marriages that have to be maintained but are a burden to the couple!

serendipityusa

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Joined: 21 January 2009

Posts: 986

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 11:20am | IP Logged

i had a love marriage.......and its been working great so far.......none of my family had gone through arrange marriages not even my parents........

thats the reason why i started watching this show.....

I guess it all boils down to whom ur marrying...and how well you communicate with your partner....

Be it luv or arrange......it all depends as it takes 2 to make it work...... Smile

...

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Knowalot2,

5cents

IF-Rockerz

Joined: 12 October 2005

Posts: 5943

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 11:42am | IP Logged

Originally posted by serendipityusa

i had a love marriage.......and its been working great so far.......none of my family had gone through arrange marriages not even my parents........

thats the reason why i started watching this show.....

I guess it all boils down to whom ur marrying...and how well you communicate with your partner....

Be it luv or arrange......it all depends as it takes 2 to make it work...... Smile

...

Exactly my story..........I had a love marriage.......it has been a wonderful journey from love now to few years of marriage.....touch wood Big smile

.

Even i started watching this show just to see how strangers agree to marry....... just in one meeting. Then I started to enjoy the serious courtship of Naksh .......lovely romance & smooching days--------Delicious!! But now they have hit a big speed bump(anybody can hit a speed bump). I agree with u love or arrange marriage........one has to work hard to make marriage work. My mom always says............Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end! Embarrassed

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Knowalot2,

serendipityusa

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Joined: 21 January 2009

Posts: 986

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 11:48am | IP Logged

Originally posted by 5cents

Originally posted by serendipityusa

i had a love marriage.......and its been working great so far.......none of my family had gone through arrange marriages not even my parents........

thats the reason why i started watching this show.....

I guess it all boils down to whom ur marrying...and how well you communicate with your partner....

Be it luv or arrange......it all depends as it takes 2 to make it work...... Smile

...

Exactly my story..........I had a love marriage.......it has been a wonderful journey from love now to few years of marriage.....touch wood Big smile

.

Even i started watching this show just to see how strangers agree to marry....... just in one meeting. Then I started to enjoy the serious courtship of Naksh .......lovely romance & smooching days--------Delicious!! But now they have hit a big speed bump(anybody can hit a speed bump). I agree with u love or arrange marriage........one has to work hard to make marriage work. My mom always says............Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end! Embarrassed

Oh my god 5cents......Your mom is so darn right........Its how much love you build till the end....please kiss ur mom on her cheek on my behalf Smile

.........that was lovely......

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Knowalot2,

5cents

IF-Rockerz

Joined: 12 October 2005

Posts: 5943

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 12:33pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by serendipityusa

.......Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end! Embarrassed

Oh my god 5cents......Your mom is so darn right........Its how much love you build till the end....please kiss ur mom on her cheek on my behalf Smile

.........that was lovely......

[/QUOTE]

I will kiss my mom on your behalf Big smile

. My thoughts on love......The more we love, the more we lose a part of our self, yet we don't become less of who we are; we end up being complete with your loved one! Embarrassed

I have done massive amount of changes in my life for the sake of love, I truly believe that it's the most important part in my life now Embarrassed

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Annie4Juhi

IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 June 2008

Posts: 13224

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 1:50pm | IP Logged

Hi nice topicc.....

Hmmmm in my opinion both Luv and arrange marriage.....

Becuz Parents happy u also happy.......

But the person should be understanding u and mostly luving u n blindly trusting u.....

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Page 3 of 6

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 10:43am | IP Logged

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 10:54am | IP Logged

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 11:07am | IP Logged

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 11:20am | IP Logged

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 11:42am | IP Logged

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 11:48am | IP Logged

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 12:33pm | IP Logged

Posted: 09 August 2009 at 1:50pm | IP Logged

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