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Rahul-Muskaan One-Shot: Yaadein...

AshiYuvi4life IF-Rockerz
AshiYuvi4life
AshiYuvi4life

Joined: 08 July 2006
Posts: 8826

Posted: 27 December 2008 at 4:34pm | IP Logged

 

 
           Kabhi kabhi jinn se hum duniya mein sabse zyaada pyaar karte hain woh humaare liye sirf eik yaad bann ke reh jaate hain. Pyaar toh har koi kar leta hai, lekin usse zinda rakhna ahsaan nahi hota. Maine zindagi mein bohot rishtey bannte aur toothe hue dekhe hain. Pyaar ke jhoote vaade aur jhooti kasamon pe khade rishton ko bikharte hue dekha hai. Pyaar... kitna chota lafz hai naa? Lekin iss chhote se lafz mein poori duniya samaa sakti hai. Bachpan mein suna tha ki har kahaani ka anth hamesha khushi nahi deta. Lekin kuch kahaaniyaan aisi bhi hain jinka anth kabhi hota hi nahi hai. Kuch aisi hi hai yeh kahaani. Main... Rahul. Aur yeh kahaani kisi eik ki nahi hai. Yeh kahaani humaari hai. Meri aur uss ladki ki jo mere saath hamesha rehti hai... mere chehre par. Muskaan...
 
            Muskaan... meri zindagi ki pehli aur akhri ladki. Aati hai kabhi kabhi mere sapnon mein, mujhse milne. Jhalli kudi. Kabhi nahi bhool sakta main woh badi badi masti bhari aankhein aur hamesha muskurata hua chehra. Rab ne sabke liye kisi na kisi ko banaaya hai, aur mere liye woh koi Muskaan hai. Kitna jhagadti thi mujhse, lekin main... deewanon ki tarhaan pyaar karta rehta tha uss se. Sach kahoon toh, Muskaan mere liye eik sapne se kam nahi hai. Eik aisa sapna jo bohot log dekhte hain, par sach sirf kuch logon ka hota hai...

              Aaj chaar saal baad eik baar phir lauta hoon yahaan... Shayad iss umeed se ki yahaan mere beete hue pal mujhe wapas mil jaayein. Khwaabon ka yeh sheher... Kasauli. Himachal Pradesh ka yeh hill station jahaan maine apni zindagi ke bohot se yaadgaar pal bitaaye. Mera college... kya din the woh bhi. (laughed lightly as he slowly walked past his college seeing the newer generation of students walking around with their respected partners or just hanging out with their friends at the usual hangout.) Aaj inn sabko dekhta hoon toh sochta hoon... aaj se chaar saal baad, yeh sab kahaan honge? Inn mein se kuch lawyers honge toh kuch meri tarhaan doctors. (sighs) College. Eik ajeeb sa sukoon mil raha hai mujhe yahaan aake. Kabhi socha nahi tha ki dobara yahaan aaoonga. Iss hi sheher mein maine sab kuch kho diya tha, aur aaj, eik baar phir, zindagi ne mujhe yaheen laake khada kardiya hai.

            Iss canteen se bohot yaadein judi hain meri. College ke dinon mein, yaheen behat ke padhta tha aur Armaan ko dekh ke sochta tha ki pata nahi, yeh apni zindagi mein ladkiyon se aage badh paayega yaa nahi. (laughs) Shehnaaz Bi... (smiles) kitna khayaal rakhti thi woh mera.

Rahul- Suniye bhai saab...

Worker- Ji saab?

Rahul- Shehnaaz Bi hain kya?

Worker- Ji abhi bulaata hoon.

Shehnaaz Bi- (coming out) Arre kaun aaya hai? Kaun hai?

Rahul- (bright smile) As salaam alaikum Shehnaaz Bi.

Shehnaaz Bi- (teary eyed) Rahul... mera bachha. Waa alaikum asalaam mere bachhe. (kisses him on the forehead)

Rahul- Kaisi hain aap?

Shehnaaz Bi- Badi jaldi yaad ayee tujhe apni Bi ki.

Rahul- Aisi baat nahi hai Bi. Aap toh jaanti hi hain ki hospital mein kitna kaam hota hai.

Shehnaaz Bi- Haan haan. Bohot bada doctor bann gaya hai naa.

Rahul- Bi...

Shehnaaz Bi- Achha yeh sab chod... (gets a depressed look on her face) Kaisa hai tu?

Rahul- Zinda hoon. Khush rehne ki koshish karta hoon. Iss se zyaada main kar bhi kya sakta hoon?

Shehnaaz Bi- Yahaan aake apne dukhon ko kyun badhaa raha hai mere bachhe?

Rahul- Socha toh tha Bi, ki dobara kabhi yahaan nahi aaoonga, lekin kuch toh hai jo mujhe yahaan keech laaya. (distant look) Shayad meri yaadein... aur shayad... woh.

Shehnaaz Bi- Tu kab tak hai yahaan?

Rahul- Jab tak kismat mujhe wapas nahi le jaati. Jaane se pehle milke jaoonga.

Shehnaaz Bi- (runs her hand over his head) Khush rehna beta. Aur aate rehna apni Bi se milne.

Rahul- Ji. Khuda hafiz.

Shehnaaz Bi- Khuda hafiz... (watches him walk off with tears in her eyes) Ya Allah, mere bachhe ke dil ko sukoon dena. Uski hifazat karna.

            Yahaan kuch nahi badla. Sab kuch waise hi hai jaisa main chod ke gaya tha. Bas kuch chehre naye hain. (smiles at the sight before him) Mera ghar... mummy toh chahti hi nahi thi ki main hostel mein rahoon. (lightly laughs and heads towards the entrance of the small, white wooden fencing that was surrounding the beautiful garden of the gorgeous house. He goes inside and inhales slowly) Itne saalon baad bhi uski khushboo hai yahaan. Mehsoos kar sakta hoon main usse. Yaheen kahin hai woh... mere kareeb. (he hears the sound of payals as he puts his bag down)

Rahul- Mujhe pata hai ki tu yaheen hai. Bahar aa.

Muskaan- (goes close to him) Boo. (laughs)

Rahul- Very funny. Aise milta hai koi?

Muskaan- Waise toh mujhe tujhse baat hi nahi karni chahiye.

Rahul- Kyun???

Muskaan- Tujhe ab yaad ayee meri? Kabse tera intezaar kar rahi thi.

Rahul- I'm sorry. Sanjeevani mein bohot kaam tha warna...

Muskaan- Warna tu aajata hai naa? Jhoot toh mujhse bol hi mat. Agar main tujhe nahi bulaati naa, toh tu kabhi nahi aata.

Rahul- Tu mujhe bulaaye aur main naa aaoon, aisa ho sakta hai?

Muskaan- (smiles) Tere aane ki khushi mein maine poora ghar chamka diya.

Rahul- Hmm. Woh toh dikh raha hai. 

Muskaan- Achha, tu araam karle. Bohot thak gaya hoga naa. Main baad mein aaoongi.

Rahul- Theek hai.

          Yeh ladki bhi bohot ajeeb hai. Pata nahi kya karoon main iss ka. (rests on his bed with his eyes closed) Thak gaya hoon, lekin sona nahi chahta. Eik ajeeb sa darr hai jo mujhe chain se sone nahi deta. Pichle chaar saalon mein aisi eik raat nahi jab main sukoon se so paaya. Roz roz, wohi sapna. (falls asleep)

Rahul- (in his sleep) Muskaan... (tossing and turning with a fearful expression) Nahi Muskaan. Muskaan please! (wakes up in a cold sweat) MUSKAAN!

Muskaan- (by his side) Shhh... kya hua?

Rahul- Muskaan? Tu... tu kab ayee?

Muskaan- (soft smile) Kuch der pehle. Tu so raha tha issiliye main tere paas hi behat gayee. Par tujhe kya hua? Tu theek hai naa?

Rahul- (runs his fingers through his hair trying to get over his nightmare) Haan...

Muskaan- Achha sun... abhi mujhe jaana hai. Lekin main phir aaoongi.

Rahul- Pakka aayegi naa?

Muskaan- Aaoongi. (smiles softly and then leaves)

        Chali gayee... aur jaate jaate eik baar phir mere chehre pe apni chhaap chod gayee. Apni muskaan. (sighs) Bohot din hogaye jeeye hue. Aaj bohot saalon ke baad, eik baar phir jeena chahta hoon. Eik baar phir inn hi pahaadiyon mein bhatakna chahta hoon.

         Maine kahaa tha ki yeh kahaani kisi eik ki nahi hai. Hum dono ki kahaani hai. (walking towards the mountain areas) Meri Muskaan... bachpan se jaanta hoon usse. Kabhi socha hi nahi tha ki jis ladki ke saath main bachpan mein khel ke bada hua, uss hi ladki se mujhe itna pyaar hojaayega. Bachpan ki dushmani jo Sanjeevani mein aane ke baad dosti bani, aur wahin pe... pyaar. Muskaan kab meri dushman se meri dost aur dost se meri zindagi bann gayee, pata hi nahi chala.

           Mujhe ab bhi yaad hai woh din jab humaari shaadi ki baat pakki hui thi. (smiles to himself) Kitni khush thi woh. Agle hi din poore Pindh ko pata chal gaya tha ki humaari shaadi hone waali hai. Teen hafte baad humaari shaadi thi aur Muskaan? Muskaan kahin ghoomne jaana chahthi thi. Bohot ziddh ki thi ussne. Kehti thi ki shaadi se pehle, woh har uss jaggah ko dekhna chahthi hai  jahaan maine apni zindagi ki sabse yaadgar saal bithaaye. Kasauli dekhna chahthi thi. Maine bohot samjhaaya ki shaadi ke baad lejaoonga, lekin Muskaan ke aage kisi ki kahaan chalti thi? (smiles to himself) Teen din baad hi hum Kasauli ke liye nikal gaye. Maine usse har woh jaggah dikhaayi jahaan main apne college ke dinon mein jaata tha. Shehnaaz Bi se milvaaya, college dikhaaya, kuch puraane classmates se milvaaya, aur... apna ghar dikhaya. Woh ghar jahaan college ke time pe main rehta tha. Woh ghar jo main Muskaan ko gift karna chahta tha...

Muskaan- Wow! Rahul, yeh ghar kitna sundar hai naa?

Rahul- (smiles and hugs her from the back) Tera hi ghar hai.

Muskaan- Mera?

Rahul- Hmm. College ke dinon mein main yaheen rehta tha. Mummy nahi chahti thi ki main hostel mein rahoon.

Muskaan- Toh yeh tera ghar hai?

Rahul- Nahi. Tera ghar hai. Achha laga?

Muskaan- (kisses him on the cheek) Bohot!

         Kasauli mein aane ke baad koi yahaan ki pahaadiyaan na dekhe, aisa toh ho nahi sakta. Muskaan ko bohot shauk tha pahaadiyon mein ghoomne ka. Eik din plan banaake chale gaye hum... long drive pe.

Rahul- (driving) Tujhe pata hai, college ke dinon mein main yahaan bohot aata tha. Sukoon milta tha. Padhaai ke baad thoda waqt yahaan bitaata tha apne doston ke saath.

Muskaan- Kaun? Woh tere champu dost jo bilkul tere jaise the?

Rahul- (laughs) Tab ki baat thi. Ab toh nahi hoon naa.

Muskaan- Rab da shukar hai.

Rahul- (stops the car) Chal. Yahaan se 1 mile ki hike hai top tak. Chal sakegi itna?

Muskaan- Of course! Tune mujhe apne jaisa kamzor samjha hai kya? Chal abhi.

            Theek hi kaha tha ussne. Mujhse pehle toh wohi pohonch gayee thi. Kya din tha woh bhi. Hum dono kaafi der tak uppar the. Bohot baatein ki. Kuch bachpan ki aur kuch shaadi ki. Lekin, unn sab cheezon se zyaada, Muskaan mere baare mein jaan na chahti thi. Jab main yahaan aaya tha college ke liye, tab main aur Muskaan achhe dost nahi the, lekin uss waqt, Muskaan har eik chhoti se chhoti baat jaan na chahti thi mere baare mein. Main bolta gaya, aur woh muskuraate hue aur poochti gayee. Pata hi nahi chala kab andhera hone lag gaya. Bohot kehne ke baad, finally Muskaan utth gayee neeche utarne ke liye.

Muskaan- Rahul, main kuch likh rahi hoon.

Rahul- Kya?

Muskaan- Lyrics hain. Par sirf kuch lines hi likheen hain. Aage kya likhoon?

Rahul- Tere dil ka gaana main poora karoonga. Pehle jitna likha hai, utthna toh bataa.

Muskaan- Theek hai. (says lines in a poetic way, but does not sing them)

Tu muskura jahaan bhi hai tu muskura
Tu dhoop ki tarhaan badan ko chu zara
Shareer se yeh muskuraahatein teri
Badan mein sunnti hoon main aahatein teri...

Rahul- Aage?

Muskaan- Bas itna hi hai. Aage kya likhoon?

Rahul- Sochke bataoonga.

          Woh din shaayad Kasauli mein humaara sabse achha din tha. Sab kuch eik sapne jaisa tha. Koi dukh nahi, koi pareshaani nahi. Bas hum dono, humaara pyaar, aur yeh vaadiyaan. Neeche aate aate eik baar phir ussne mujhse gaane ke baare mein poocha...

Muskaan- (resting her on his shoulder while he was driving) Rahul...

Rahul- Haan?

Muskaan- Gaana.

Rahul- Uh... abhi kaise bataaoon Muskaan. Thoda sochne ka time toh de.

Muskaan- Theek hai. Pata hai, yeh gaana mere liye bohot special hai, aur humaari shaadi se pehle yeh gaana poora hojaana chahiye.

Rahul- Kyun?

Muskaan- (looks at him) Kyunki shaadi ke baad mujhe wapas yaheen aana hai. Apne ghar. Tere saath. Aur uss din main yehi gaana gaoongi. Yahaan pahaadon mein... tere liye.

Rahul- (smiles and kisses her on the forehead) Theek hai. Shaadi se pehle tera gaana poora hojaayega.

Muskaan- (smiles and looks forward again) RAHUL!!! SAMBHAAL!

             Humaari gaadi ke saamne eik aur gaadi thi... jiska accident ho chuka tha. Woh gaadi neeche gidne waali thi aur uss mein do log phasse the. Muskaan chillaayee aur saamne dekhte hi maine jaldi se break maari. Samajh nahi aa raha tha kya karoon... Woh log itni buri tarhaan se phasse hue the... kuch bhi ho sakta tha. Dekhte hi dekhte, Muskaan gaadi se bahar nikli unki madat karne.

Muskaan- Oh my god! Rahul! Jaldi aa! Yeh log marr jaayenge!

Rahul- (running out of the car) Muskaan!

Muskaan- Rahul jaldi rassi laa!

Rahul- (grabs rope from his car) Don't worry! Aapko kuch nahi hoga! Just relax! (throws the rope down to them)

Muskaan- (clutching onto his arm panicking) Rahul, 2,500 ft fall hai. Kuch bhi kar Rahul. Inn ko uppar keech!

Rahul- (looks down at the fearful faces of the couple stuck in the car which was going to fall completely off the cliff very fast) Rassi pakadiye!

             Uss aadmi ne bohot samjhaane ke baad apni biwi ko uppar bheja. Woh jaana hi nahi chahti thi usse neeche chodke. Kaise bhi karke maine unn dono ko uppar keechliya lekin'

Woman- Mera bachha kahaan hai?!

Man- Munna? Munna kahaan hai?!

Woman- (screaming and crying) Please mere bachhe ko bachaao! Mera bachha!

Muskaan- Bachha? Rahul bachha!

Rahul- Muskaan bachha kaise aayega?

Woman- (crying louder) Mera bachha!!!

Rahul- (to the man) Dekhiye, hum dono doctors hain. Aap please inhe sambhaaliye. (trying to control her) Muskaan tu' (looks around) MUSKAAN!!!

            Bohot der ho chuki thi. Muskaan ne thaan liya tha ke woh uss bachhe ko bachaa ke laayegi. Jab tak maine mudhke dekha' Muskaan rassi pakadke neeche uttar rahi thi.

Rahul- (running towards the edge with the horrific sight in front of him) Muskaan!!!! Paagal hogayee hai kya?! Uppar aa! Muskaan uppar aa!

Muskaan- Rahul main bachhe ko nahi marrne de sakti!

Rahul- (crying) Muskaan please!

Muskaan- Rahul hum doctors hain! Humaare liye sabse zaroori doosron ki jaan bachaana hai!

Rahul- Muskaan tu uppar aaja! Main le aaoonga usse!

         Lekin ussne meri nahi suni... woh uttar gayee mauth ke moo mein uss bachhe ki jaan bachaane ke liye. Do minute baad eik dhamaaka hua aur aisa laga jaise mera dil dhadakna bandh hogaya... sirf eik hi cheez dikh rahi thi. Woh gaadi uss unchaayee se gir chuki thi aur ahista ahista neeche jaa rahi thi. Meri Muskaan...

Rahul- (falling to his knees) MUSKAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

           Agle teen minute tak kuch nahi. Koi awaaz nahi, sab kuch jaise ruk sa gaya tha. Phir achaanak...

Muskaan- Rahul!!!

            Usski awaaz sunnte hi maine neeche dekha. Woh bachha aur Muskaan, dono 2,500 ft ki unchaayee pe latak rahe the, sirf eik rassi ke sahaare.

Muskaan- Maine bacche ko bachaa liya Rahul! Unnka bachha theek hai!

Rahul- Muskaan ruk! Main rassi keechta hoon!

             Meri samajh mein nahi aa raha tha ki main kya karoon. Uss eik pal mein maine apni poori zindagi ko apni aankhon ke saamne se guzarte dekha. Muskaan ko khone ka darr jaane ka naam hi nahi le raha tha. Meri Muskaan theek thi.

Muskaan- Rahul bachhe ko pakad!

Rahul- Haan. (pulling the child up) Bhai saab aapka bachha theek hai!

Woman- Mera bachha!

Rahul- (pulls the child up and lets him run to his parents) Muskaan main rassi aur keech raha hoon! Apna haath de mujhe!

Muskaan- Rahul rassi tooth rahi hai!

             Jo khauff meri aankhon mein tha uss waqt Muskaan ki baat sunn ne ke baad, mera dil aur kamzor hota jaa raha tha.

Rahul- Muskaan tujhe kuch nahi hoga! Tu apna haath de mujhe!

Muskaan- (grabbing hold of his hand right when the rope broke) Rahul!

Rahul- Muskaan tujhe kuch nahi hoga. Kuch nahi hoga tujhe. Tu haath mat chodna. Main hoon na. Sab theek hojaayega Muskaan.

Muskaan- Rahul... Rahul mera haath choot raha hai. Main zyaada der nahi pakad sakti.

Rahul- Muskaan main tujhe keech raha hoon uppar. Kuch nahi hoga... kuch nahi... (starts to slip as well because where he was kneeling was all ice)

Muskaan- Paagal mat bann Rahul! Tu yahaan se gir sakta hai. Tu phisal jaayega. It's all ice!

Rahul- (crying) Kuch nahi hoga Muskaan. Tu uppar aaja!

Muskaan- (smiling at him) Rahul... tu mera gaana poora karega naa.

Rahul- (crying) Hum dono poora karenge Muskaan. Milke poora karenge. Tu pehle uppar aaja.

Muskaan- (still smiling) Main tujhse bohot pyaar karti hoon Rahul... (her hand was slipping)

Rahul- (crying) Muskaan main bhi tujhse bohot pyaar karta hoon. Please uppar aaja Muskaan.

Muskaan- (smiles) I love you Rahul... (slips completely and falls looking at him with a smile)

Rahul- (terrified) MUSKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          Meri Muskaan... hamesha ke liye chali gayee. (tear rolls down his eye) Mere saamne hote hue bhi woh mujhse itni door thi. Main usske liye kuch nahi kar saka. Kabhi nahi bhool sakta main uska muskuraata hua chehra. Jaate jaate bhi woh muskuraate hue gayee... dobaara kabhi naa lautne ke liye. Apne saath sab kuch le gayee woh. Sab kuch. Kuch nahi bacha tha. Bachi thi toh sirf uski yaadein... aur uska woh adhura gaana.

          Aaj poore chaar saal ke baad main uss hi jaggah khada hoon jahaan maine apni Muskaan ko aakhri baar muskuraate hue dekha tha. Apni zindagi degayee woh mujhe. Jaanti thi ki agar main aur aage aaya toh main bhi  phisal jaaoonga. Lekin uss waqt, mere liye Muskaan ki zindagi se zyaada zaroori kuch nahi tha. Meri apni zindagi bhi nahi. Dil mein usska woh adhoora gaana liye, main wapas aaya hoon aaj. Ussne kaha tha ki shaadi ke baad jab wapas aayenge toh wohi gaana gaayegi. Woh toh apna gaana adhoora hi chod gayee, lekin maine apne vaada poora kiya... Aaj ka din, bohot khaas hai mere liye. Aayee thi mere sapnon mein. Baar baar mujhe bulaati thi yahaan. Mujhse milti bhi thi, lekin main usse choo nahi sakta tha. Sirf dekh sakta tha, mehsoos kar sakta tha, baat kar sakta tha, sunn sakta tha... Jab bhi haath badhaaya choone ke liye toh woh ghayab hojaati...

Rahul- (smiling as he looked into the distance from the same spot he lost Muskaan) Dekh Muskaan. Main aagaya. Tera gaana poora kardiya hai maine. (recites the words)

Tu muskura jahaan bhi hai tu muskura
Tu dhoop ki tarhaan badan ko choo zara
Shareer se yeh muskuraahatein teri
Badan mein sunta hoon main aahatein teri
Labon se aake chule ab yeh labh zara
Tu muskura jahaan bhi hai tu muskura...

            Uski khushboo ne inn hawaaon ko mehakaa diya hai. Aisa lag raha hai ki woh yaheen kahin hai. Mere paas...

Rahul- (closes his eyes and breathes in her scent) Happy birthday Muskaan...

Muskaan- (holds his hand and kisses his cheek) Rahul...

Rahul- (opens his eyes to find her next to him) Muskaan... tu mujhe...

Muskaan- (smiles) Choo sakti hoon... tune apna vaada poora kardiya.

Rahul- (kisses her forehead with tears in his eyes) Happy birthday.

Muskaan- (holds his hand and smiles) Main apna poora din tere saath bitaana chahti hoon. Wahin, jahaan se yeh gaana shuru kiya tha.

Rahul- Chal. (both walked to the top, hand-in-hand as she rested her head on his shoulder)

            Muskaan hamesha kehti thi ki jab hawaa chale toh samajh lena ki main tujhe choo ke guzar gayee, jab suraj ki pehli kiranein tujhpe girein toh samajh lena ki main tujhe jagaane ayee hoon, jab baarish ho toh samajhna ki main teri yaad mein aansoo bahaa rahi hoon, jab phool kilein toh samajhna ki main tujh tak apni khushboo bikheir rahi hoon, aur jab raat ko chand nikle, toh usse dekh ke eik baar muskura dena... kyunki tujhe dekh ke main bhi muskuraoongi.

             Meri zindagi mein sirf eik hi ladki ayee aur eik hi ladki rahegi... Muskaan. Zindagi hai jahaan Muskaan hai. Khushi hai jahaan Muskaan hai. Dil hai jahaan Muskaan hai. Pyaar hai jahaan Muskaan hai. Aur... Rahul hai jahaan Muskaan hai.

              Maine kaha tha naa, yeh kahaani kisi eik ki nahi hai. Yeh kahaani hum dono ki hai. Haan yeh sach hai ki meri Muskaan aam logon ki duniya mein nahi hai, lekin woh meri duniya mein hai. Doosron ko chahe meri Muskaan naa dikhti ho, lekin woh hamesha mere saath hai. Mere sapnon mein, mere khayaalon mein, meri soch mein, mere dil mein, aur meri yaadon mein.  Yaadein bhi kitni ajeeb hoti hain. Zindagi ne mujhse meri zindagi hi cheenli, aur uske badle mein de gayee yaadein.

               Kehte hain ki "When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure." Muskaan meri sabse khoobsurat yaad hai. Din kisse yaad rehte hain? Sirf yaadein hi rehjaati hain. Aaj meri Muskaan ka birthday hai aur woh naa hote hue bhi mere saath hai. Mere paas. (looks down at her and smiles as she continues walking with him with her head on his shoulder)

               Jitni bhi der jeeyoonga iss ehsaas ke saath jeeyoonga ki meri Muskaan mere saath hai. Inn vaadiyon mein basta hai humaara pyaar. Humaari kahaani adhoori nahi hai... alag hai. Yaadon mein bassi hui yeh pyaar ki kahaani. Kaha tha naa... kuch kahaaniyaan kabhi khatam nahi hoti. Kuch aisi hi hai humaari kahaani. Iss ka koi anth nahi hai... kyunki pyaar ka koi anth hi nahi hota. Marr ke bhi zinda rehne waala pyaar... humaari kahaani...

Okay guys. I know this is completely different from my style of writing, and honestly, I did a lot of thinking for this one-shot. Personally, this is very close to my heart because when I do my writing, I don't pre-plan anything. I just sit down knowing that I have to put something up and write as I go. I don't think of what's going to come next. This shot was something I put a lot of thought, effort, and emotions into. It made me cry while I was writing it, and I hope that I can get the same expected reaction from you all. If I do, I know I've done my job as a writer.
 
- Komal


Edited by AshiYuvi4life - 27 December 2008 at 5:03pm

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silent_shadow IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 01 November 2005
Posts: 11284

Posted: 27 December 2008 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
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Radhika Shah IF-Sizzlerz
Radhika Shah
Radhika Shah

Joined: 22 May 2007
Posts: 13225

Posted: 27 December 2008 at 8:15pm | IP Logged
That was fantastic.
cute_madhu Goldie
cute_madhu
cute_madhu

Joined: 01 June 2007
Posts: 1069

Posted: 27 December 2008 at 11:55pm | IP Logged
U know what di...
I cried alot...I cried so much..
it is one of the BEST oneshots  eva read..n em wiv love wiv it..its vry special to me,...n vry close to my heart too...
n yh u r right tis is a totally diff style of writin..n I love tis..
its true har chiz ka anth nahi hota..kuch kahaniyan kabhi khatam nahi hoti..aur kuch logon ka pyaar amar hota hai..dur rehne se thodi hi kuch hota hai..hum toh sanam ki yaadein dill mein liye chalte hai..voh humare pass nahi toh kya..usey apne har pal mein sath pate hai..usey chu nahi sakte toh kya..usey mehsoos toh hum karte hi hai..
usey iss jahan mein nahi dekh sakte toh kya..usey pyaar toh kar hi sakte hai..
 
HAI ALLAH..humne kya likha..gosh..On an impulse yeh sab aya humare dimag mein..buh seriously tis One shot touched my heart..it's so true..SO SO TRUE..lyf is not a fairytail always neither does evry story has a perfect happy end..buh it depends on the persons view point..it depends on how u see it..How u look at it..
Kuch Log toh bina jaam ke hi nashe mein aa jate hai..aur kuch pure maikhane ko khali kar kar bhi nahi..sab humare nazariye aur ichaoon par nirbhar hota hai..hum chahe toh martbaan ko adha khali ya phir adha bhara dekh sakte hai..sab humare nazariye par nirbhar hai...
 
I loved the way u inculcated the song in the FF..it was so beautiful..an amzin vry grippin concept for a one shot...U r a brilliant writer..it was superb..awesum..fantastic..fab..mind-blowin...
U made my day..U seriously made my day
HATS OFF gal..Keep writiN and keep up the g88888 wrk...I love u'r style of wrtin..specially tis one..
LOVE IT..HATS OFF....
 
Love ya loads komal di (hpe can call ya that)..t.cccccc
 
 
 
                                 -Ur's Ever MadhuEmbarrassed
 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Mus@

arvanu IF-Dazzler
arvanu
arvanu

Joined: 03 November 2006
Posts: 4324

Posted: 28 December 2008 at 1:10am | IP Logged
ohhh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!komal..........it was just soooooo beautiful!!!!!i had tears in my eyes while reading it........it was soo good..excellent!!!!!! purity at its best........and the way u wrote it was just perfect......i dont have words to express how much i liked it........ur such a great writer i knew this very well by ur previous FF.......but by reading this i now know that ur an equally good human being.........love can never be lost....and memories are the most precious moments one can live in!!it touched my soul.....seriously!!!!!!
 
-surbhiSmile


Edited by arvanu - 28 December 2008 at 1:11am
SuhanaSafar IF-Rockerz
SuhanaSafar
SuhanaSafar

Joined: 09 December 2006
Posts: 5229

Posted: 28 December 2008 at 1:47am | IP Logged
Omg, that was a brillant story.  Great work Komal! Clap
 
I'm speechless right now, but I might return to post more tomorrow.


Edited by SuhanaSafar - 28 December 2008 at 1:48am
AshiYuvi4life IF-Rockerz
AshiYuvi4life
AshiYuvi4life

Joined: 08 July 2006
Posts: 8826

Posted: 28 December 2008 at 2:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ~srk_abhi_apu~

Awww komal!!!!!Clap That was very very very sweet! Although it was heart wrenching.....i guess it was a very honest piece of writing. I could seriously picture everyting...& i can imagine the tremendous effort you put into it.....I must say its commendable! I probably cant put into words but that was totally amazing. 10 on 10 for this one! Star
 
And i love the fact that you made it a very different one shot! Brilliant....& i hope you continue writing such beautiful pieces in the future.  Smile
 
Thank you so much yaar! I'm extremely glad that you liked it so much. I was extremely concious about putting this up because I was afraid of the kind of reaction I would get, but the very first and most important rule for writing is that you have to love your work in order for others to love it as well. I just went with what my heart told me to write. I'm content with my work, and from the looks of it, so was everyone else. lol. Thank you so much and i will definitely try some other stuff out. Maybe thinking outside the box was a good move after all.
 
Originally posted by Radhika Shah

That was fantastic.
 
Thank you!
 
Originally posted by cute_madhu

U know what di...
I cried alot...I cried so much..
it is one of the BEST oneshots  eva read..n em wiv love wiv it..its vry special to me,...n vry close to my heart too...
n yh u r right tis is a totally diff style of writin..n I love tis..
its true har chiz ka anth nahi hota..kuch kahaniyan kabhi khatam nahi hoti..aur kuch logon ka pyaar amar hota hai..dur rehne se thodi hi kuch hota hai..hum toh sanam ki yaadein dill mein liye chalte hai..voh humare pass nahi toh kya..usey apne har pal mein sath pate hai..usey chu nahi sakte toh kya..usey mehsoos toh hum karte hi hai..
usey iss jahan mein nahi dekh sakte toh kya..usey pyaar toh kar hi sakte hai..
 
HAI ALLAH..humne kya likha..gosh..On an impulse yeh sab aya humare dimag mein..buh seriously tis One shot touched my heart..it's so true..SO SO TRUE..lyf is not a fairytail always neither does evry story has a perfect happy end..buh it depends on the persons view point..it depends on how u see it..How u look at it..
Kuch Log toh bina jaam ke hi nashe mein aa jate hai..aur kuch pure maikhane ko khali kar kar bhi nahi..sab humare nazariye aur ichaoon par nirbhar hota hai..hum chahe toh martbaan ko adha khali ya phir adha bhara dekh sakte hai..sab humare nazariye par nirbhar hai...
 
I loved the way u inculcated the song in the FF..it was so beautiful..an amzin vry grippin concept for a one shot...U r a brilliant writer..it was superb..awesum..fantastic..fab..mind-blowin...
U made my day..U seriously made my day
HATS OFF gal..Keep writiN and keep up the g88888 wrk...I love u'r style of wrtin..specially tis one..
LOVE IT..HATS OFF....
 
Love ya loads komal di (hpe can call ya that)..t.cccccc
 
 
 
                                 -Ur's Ever MadhuEmbarrassed
 
 
Haiye Allah... kitna achha likhti hain aap. You have a wonderful way with words. You should hinestly consider writing something yourself. Words are not easy to work with and  not everyone has the gift of being able to handle them. From what I see, you have an amazing way of controling and grasping them. I think people will be more interested in your comment than my story. lol. Beautiful flow. Your comment made my putting this story up worthwhile. I was truely hoping that someone would leave me a meaningful comment that showed me that they felt what  I felt while I was writing this. I got that same connection from you. Thank you so much jaan for a  such lovely comment. I seriously had tears in my eyes, no joke. Of course you can call me Komal Di, although I don't know how long that will last, because I'm only 18, so depending on how much younger you are than me, you can call me that. I don't mind at all.
 
- Love you hamesha,
 
Komal Di
 
 
Originally posted by arvanu

ohhh my God!!!!!!!!!!!!!komal..........it was just soooooo beautiful!!!!!i had tears in my eyes while reading it........it was soo good..excellent!!!!!! purity at its best........and the way u wrote it was just perfect......i dont have words to express how much i liked it........ur such a great writer i knew this very well by ur previous FF.......but by reading this i now know that ur an equally good human being.........love can never be lost....and memories are the most precious moments one can live in!!it touched my soul.....seriously!!!!!!
 
-surbhiSmile
 
Awww. thanks so much Sur! I'm so happy from the amount of positive insight I'm getting from people! It's so exciting and I'm equally flattered! Thanks a lot and I'm sorry I didn't PM you. I was leaving for a shaadi right after i posted so i thought i would do PMing after i got home. At least you found it. Thanks again yaar! Love ya!
-Komz
 
Originally posted by SuhanaSafar

Omg, that was a brillant story.  Great work Komal! Clap
 
I'm speechless right now, but I might return to post more tomorrow.
 
Not a problem. Thank you so much for commenting! I hope to see more from you tomorrow.
 
-Komal
-Mansi- IF-Sizzlerz
-Mansi-
-Mansi-

Joined: 08 March 2007
Posts: 18670

Posted: 28 December 2008 at 2:25am | IP Logged

OMG...I not in the concinence to speak..Tears are rolling down my cheek continuosly..Komal..what have you done??I hav seriously noo words..dis was so beautiful!! It touched my heart!!

Rahul..omg..i felt for him..ur absolutely right...Not all love stories have happy endings..some are sad..yes..Memories become a treasure..
Muskaan..a strong charcter..If we jus imagine..If they wud hav come here after marriage..Life would hav been different.. beautiful..but some things are meant 2 be..When god calls , nobody can do anything..
This was the best character sketch you have given among everybody's POV..
Komal I seriously dunno what to say..You hav made me speechless..Im wordless....i..
 
You are a gifted writer...Please dont waste ur talents..this was completely different..& one of ur best!!Clap Hatts off!!Clap
 
With ur old FF I knew u were a lot of fun , jovial...but this one I knw that ur the most beautiful person by ur heart..u hav positive feelings..which make you the most strong n amazing person..Which I really cant express.The love in ur heart..is soo romantic..love can be memories...Im sorry I dunno what im balbbering..pls excuse me..(still crying)
 
Im taking a print out of dis FF & keeping it as a TREASURE..because this is really a treasure...Clap
 
        Love u loads..& keep writing..Hug
 
 
Im still not done..Ill comment again..n sumtime!Embarrassed


Edited by *mansibhatia* - 28 December 2008 at 2:26am

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