Joined: 28 April 2008
Chapter 1: Wedding
The ceremony was a haze. I saw only Edward. Somewhere in there I knew we agreed to stand together through the good times and the bad, through joy and sorrow. To cherish each other as long as we both lived, but I had already promised that to him a long time ago. Saying "I do" now was as easy as stating the obvious.
I was afraid I may have offended Alice earlier. After nearly taking a header down the stairs in the ridiculous shoes she strapped to me, I decided I didn't want to fall. Not today. I had wanted to focus all my attention on Edward, but trying not to fall was taking too much focus. I stooped down and untied the malevolent devices from my feet and gently tossed them to the top of the stairs. I was vaguely aware of a quiet laughter spreading through the crowd, and I thought I heard a groan from Alice, but I didn't care. I would rather go through the ceremony in bare feet than spend one second concentrating on anything other than Edward.
But whether Alice was offended or anyone else was shocked at my lack of footwear I didn't know. I was with Edward, now forever my Edward and there could be no other place I'd rather be.
But still I worried. I worried about my best friend. And I knew Jacob worried about me to. But at least Jacob had an idea of what was happening to me, whereas I hadn't a clue where he was or what he was doing. Seth wanted to tell me but couldn't. I knew that was Sam's doing; his Alpha orders. I had hoped beyond hope that Jacob would come to the wedding. Once I even thought I saw him, well, not him exactly, but a russet colored wolf, on the outskirts of the forest as Edward and I left for the airport, but it must have been my imagination.
And now, as I sat with Edward's loving arms wrapped around me on a plane to Brazil and some secret honeymoon location, I should have been content to simply enjoy the moment. But a little nagging piece of my mind reminded me of the things I was leaving behind. The goodbyes to Charlie and Rene seemed rushed. There wasn't enough time to say all the things I really wanted to, to let them know I would be okay as long as I was with Edward. And now I might never be able to.
They thought I was going to honeymoon with Edward and then head off to Dartmouth. They were half right. We weren't going to Dartmouth. Edward was going to change me. He promised. He would make me a vampire, like him. Indestructible, impossible beautiful and immortal. Then, truly, we would be together forever.
Edward and I had a deal. Before that change happened he would give me all the human experiences I would miss. I had fulfilled my end of the bargain and married him, and now we were embarking on our honeymoon to fulfill my sole demand. I wanted to experience him, all of him, while I still had the human desires within me to fully enjoy it.
After the change, I would be a blood-thirsty newborn vampire. I would lose, for a while, any urge except for the desire to feed. And as soon as that happened, I would have to cut all my ties with my humanity. No more contact with my family, with my friends'
I sighed into Edward's shoulder. He looked at me quizzically.
"That didn't sound like a sigh of contentment," he said.
"I was just thinking. I didn't really get to say good bye to' everyone."
"Jacob," he said, understanding who I meant.
"I just wish he had been there. I want him to be happy for me."
"He was there, but I'm not sure if you could say he was happy for you. He was sort of waiting in the wings, so to speak, in case you changed your mind at the last minute." Edward said. Sometimes his ability to read minds came in handy.
"Why didn't you tell me he was there?" I demanded.
"He didn't want you to know he was there," Edward explained quietly. "He can't be happy for you, and he knew it would upset you to see that. But he wanted to see you one more time, to make sure that you were happy."
I sighed again. It was selfish for me to want him to push aside his own feelings and just be happy for me. I understood why he had come to see me one last time, and despite it all I was glad.
"And did he see me happy?" I asked.
"He thought you looked very happy," Edward said and brushed his lips against my forehead in a kiss. "Everyone thought you looked happy. Are you?"
I laughed lightly. Edward could read anyone's mind, except mine. Some glitch in me kept him out of my head. I snuggled closer to his perfect chest.
"Are you happy?" he asked again.
"Me too," he said.
I let the hum of the engines drown out my thoughts as I drifted off to sleep in my new husbands arms. As we started our lives together I began the last days of my existence as a human. But first, we would have our honeymoon, and I would give his perfect, immortal being all that my human self could offer.guys do comment or i wont go on
Joined: 13 January 2006
Joined: 28 April 2008
Joined: 01 August 2007
Joined: 28 April 2008
Joined: 28 April 2008
Chapter 2: Honeymoon
There is a small island off the coast of Brazil. Carlisle had bought it for Esme soon after their wedding. It took us eleven hours to get to Rio de Janeiro, and another hour with Edward steering a small boat to get to the Isle Esme.
He landed gracefully as he leapt from the boat onto the dock as the sun set below the horizon of ocean.
"Mrs. Cullen?" he said in his beautifully smooth voice as he offered me his hand. I took it, and before I knew what was happening I was off my feet and in his arms.
"Mmm," I sighed as I breathed in his sweet scent. "I like it here."
"Then you don't ever have to leave," he said quietly. His lips brushed against my hair.
Somehow Edward managed to carry our bags and myself into the large house a quarter mile in from the beach. I nuzzled peacefully against his neck and shoulders, just happy to be so close to him.
The house was beautiful. It was light and open. Edward carried me to a large bedroom. The most notable object in the room was a large, round bed with silky white sheets. Ribbons of white fabric and netting surrounded it like a halo, glowing in the dim light.
My heart jumped. Nerves, not excitement. I realized with a sudden horror that I had no idea what to do or what should be expected. Edward felt the change in my heartbeat.
"Do you need a moment?" he asked as he set me on the gigantic bed. His golden eyes smoldered into mine. I knew he was giving me a choice; to have him fulfill my demands or to allow me to put it off just long enough to relax.
I nodded. "I need to shower."
Edward flashed me his crooked smile.
"I'll be in the kitchen. Take all the time you need."
I reached up and pressed my mouth against his cold lips. He responded. His hands wove through my hair; his mouth traveled down my neck and lingered there until I began to quiver. Then he kissed his way to my ear and whispered to me, "Not too much time, though." He kissed me one last time before departing with my favorite smile on is face.
As soon as he was gone I ripped through the luggage. I grabbed my bag of toiletries and dashed to the bathroom. As I showered I thought about what I was going to do. It was finally my chance to be alone with him. Completely alone with nothing to hold us back from each other. I thought about his icy kisses and the way his hands felt on my skin. I shivered despite the warm water.
I stepped out of the shower serenely. My heart pounded in my chest, but it was now with the excitement of what I was about the share with Edward. My mind and my body were ready for it. I wrapped a towel around myself and quietly inspected the items Alice had packed for me. There were very few practical clothes. The rest of it was lacey bits of lingerie with French tags. I gravitated toward a silky ivory robe and pulled it out of the bag. It had tiny sleeves and fell about mid-hip. It was modest enough, but the thought of wearing it with nothing underneath was unbearably exciting. I belted it on and went to the kitchen to find Edward.
He had his back to me when I saw him. Edward had removed his shirt since the last time I saw him and I couldn't help marveling at the perfect structure of his back. Edward turned to say something and his eyes appraised my body in appreciation. I leaned against the doorway and idly played with the ends of the cord on the robe. I couldn't help blushing. The warm blood made my cheeks feel like they were burning. I longed to be next to him; to have the coolness of his skin bring equilibrium to my body.
He came to me. His arms wrapped tightly around me and he brought his mouth to mine. I ran my hands up his back until they knotted in his hair and pulled his face closer. Without breaking the kiss he lifted me off my feet and carried me to the bedroom. I only knew he had placed me on the bed because his hands moved from my back to my face. They lingered there just long enough for me to comprehend the urgency of his desire before they roamed the length of my body.
I fought briefly to sit up. As I did I untied the robe, letting it slip off my frame. I heard him gasp slightly as his eyes took in the site of me. Now he brought his lips back to me with unfettered passion, his mouth as eager as mine. His hands were gone from me for the slightest of moments as the remainder of his clothing was shed. The self control he had always been so careful to uphold with me was cracking as his hands and mouth sought me with increasing desperation.
I twisted my hands in his hair, alternately pulling him closer and pushing him away when I wanted to kiss his neck. My skin burned where he touched as my blood responded to his ardor. I pushed myself closer to his cold body and wrapped my legs around him. His hands pulled my hair roughly and I cried out, but not in pain. I responded and pushed my hands against the marble plains of his chest. He was too strong for me to move, but he knew what I wanted and rolled over, pulling me on top of him. My legs were on either side of his hips, thrilled at the wintery chill of his skin against mine. I pressed myself lower into his body while I brought my lips back to his face to delight in his kisses. My warm lips matched the tempo of his cool ones, filling us with a sense of euphoria.
Suddenly he wrenched my arms up and clasped his hands around my wrists. Before I knew it he was on top of me again, completely in control. I was powerless to stop him, but I didn't want to. My pulse raced faster. I trembled as he held me in his possession, my breath quickened. I shuddered and screamed in ecstasy as Edward took what had always been his.
Joined: 28 April 2008
Chapter 3: Decision
I awoke to bright sunlight streaming in through the windows. The warmth of the air perfectly balanced with the coolness of Edward's arms around me.
"Morning," I said into the marble skin of his neck. I breathed in the pleasing fragrance he always seemed to exude and smiled to myself.
"Are you alright?" he asked, voice thick with concern.
"Yeah," I said confused. "Why?"
"You were doing an awful lot of screaming last night. I wanted to make sure I didn't hurt you."
"Hurt me? Edward, you just gave me the best night of my life!"
"But you were so loud…"
I couldn't help the rush of blood that filled my cheeks.
"I may have been screaming, Edward, but it wasn't in pain."
He looked at me, still concerned for a moment, until the realization dawned on him. His face broke into a grin and he laughed.
"Then you weren't-"
"And I was-"
"Yes. Everything was… perfect." I snuggled closer to him. He tightened his grip on me and kissed my forehead.
A disturbing thought occurred to me.
"Edward, did you…"
"Did I what?"
"Well, you were so concerned about me, I was just wondering if, well, if you… You know…"
He laughed at me again. "It was the best night of my life, too," he murmured in my ear. I wondered how true that could be, knowing how much he would have had to have held back.
I stretched my arms above my head and felt my muscles protesting.
"Oh!" I gasped.
"What's wrong?" Edward asked, instantly concerned.
"It's nothing. I was just working some muscles last night that I've never used before."
"Well, maybe we should practice that more often," he laughed. He kissed me again. I shivered at the energy that sparked between us. I would have loved to have been carried away by the fervor of the moment, but the frailty of my human body kept me in check.
"I'll be right back," I said, fighting with myself to remove myself from his glorious embrace.
He was gone from the bed when I returned from the bathroom. I thought I heard him in the kitchen, so I made the most of the opportunity and showered and brushed my teeth before changing into a light blue top and denim shorts. I proceeded into the kitchen where Edward was plating bacon and scrambled eggs. I slid behind him and wrapped my arms around his perfectly sculpted chest. I kissed his back as my hands trailed up and down his stomach.
He turned toward me more quickly than any human could. His lips found mine and pressed against them with growing intensity. I wrapped my arms around his neck without objection. One hand grasped my hair while the other moved down my body. It moved down my arm, past my rib cage to my side. He held it there, pulling me closer, for just a moment before it slid down my leg to my knee. So quickly that I barely noticed, he pulled my knee up so that I was sitting in his arms, legs wrapped around his hips. Edward walked a few steps further until my back was pressed against the wall. He balanced me there and took advantage of having his hands free. My already shallow breathing became erratic. Adrenaline coursed through my veins. I pushed my torso against his, unable to have him close enough to me.
Had we continued, we may not have made it to the bedroom. But my stomach complained audibly.
Edward let me down slowly, the memory of his kisses still burning my skin.
"I'll have to remember about that" Edward gave me his crooked smile. "There's more than one kind of hunger to satisfy," he joked.
We stayed on the island over two weeks. I slept late into the mornings because my nights were devoted to Edward. I didn't want it to end, but at the same time, I knew it would. At some point I would give up this human body for one like Edward's; immortal, cold as ice, hard as marble, and perfect. Perfect except that my heart would stop beating and my blood would cease to course through my veins. As I lay next to Edward, he hummed to me softly. My heart fluttered at the thought that this song was for me. Edward ran his hands gently across my body, and the blood responded where he touched.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered. Immediately my cheeks were filled with a blush.
How could I give up these entirely human responses? I knew I wouldn't be the same after I changed. The bloodlust would be my only thrill. But now, here in his arms, my body was filled by so much more. It was thrilled and responsive in its human imperfection to every action of Edward's. Was I really ready to give this up forever?
I sighed, but it wasn't the contented exhalation I had been giving since the wedding. Edward immediately noticed the difference.
"Tell me what you're thinking," he entreated me.
"I'm just enjoying being here with you so much… I'm just worried it will be different once I'm changed. That I won't want the same things I want now."
"What is it you want now?"
"You," I said, snuggling closer. "And only you. I already don't like being interrupted because I get hungry, and that's something I can ignore most of the time. What's it going to be like when I'm… thirsty? It's not the same kind of thing you can ignore, is it?"
Edward paused before he spoke.
"It fades with time."
I contemplated this.
"Maybe we should go to Dartmouth," I said suddenly. "At least for a semester."
Edward couldn't hide his surprise.
"Why the sudden change? Before we got married you couldn't wait to-"
"Before we got married I didn't know what being married to you could be like!" I interrupted. "And now that I know, I'm not sure I want it to change yet. I just want a little more time to be human with you. And besides, Charlie and Rene would be so proud…"
"Take all the time you need," he laughed softly. "There's no rush. I'll always be here with you."
"How much will you be with me?" I asked slyly.
"As much as you need for anything you need."
I kissed him, the ice of his lips meeting the fire in my skin. I brought my body to his and showed him exactly what I needed.
Joined: 28 April 2008
Chapter 4: Bitten
We packed and left the island the next day. Now that the plans had changed, there were a few things left to do in Forks before we moved out to New Hampshire. I couldn't help but be excited for the reunions. Rene and Phil had returned to Florida just after the wedding, but I was glad I would get to see Charlie again before I became a vampire with a thirst for his blood. I felt that our good-bye at the wedding somehow wasn't enough.
"Hey, Charlie!" I called to him as I stepped out of the silver Volvo. The omnipresent rain was barely misting.
"Bells! It's good to see you again!" He rushed up and held me in a bear hug.
I broke away from his grasp long enough to dash to the driver's side of the car. Edward grinned back at me.
"Have fun hunting," I whispered to him and gave him my lips in a quick kiss.
"We will," he said, topaz eyes twinkling. "I'll stay close by in case you need me. Or want me," he grinned.
"Behave!" I shushed.
"Have fun with your day with Charlie."
"Oh, and take this," he handed me a tiny silver cell phone.
"Okay, see you soon," I smiled, granting myself one last kiss before turning back to Charlie. He held me in another hug as the Volvo pulled away.
"Did you have plans for today?" I asked him.
"Well, I was kind of thinking we could go down to La Push. Jacob came back, just after your wedding. I thought you might like to talk to him. And I haven't seen Billy for a while."
It figured he would want to go there, but I knew it had more to do with his own preference than just getting me to talk to Jacob again. I really was interested in seeing Seth and Quil and Embry and the others at least once more too.
"That sounds like a great idea." My enthusiasm was real.
I rode shotgun in Charlie's cruiser. For several minutes we sat in comfortable silence. We reached the boundaries of the reservation before he spoke.
"I'm glad you found Edward."
"Me too, Dad."
"And I'm glad you're going off to Dartmouth. I'm very proud of you. You've done really well for yourself, Bella."
"Thanks. You know part of it's because of you. You've been great. My whole life you've been great, but especially since I moved to Forks."
"I've missed you since you were gone."
"I missed you too."
"I got used to you being there at the house."
"Hold on, kiddo, let me finish." We had reached La Push and were parked in front of Billy's house, but we didn't get out of the car.
"I got used to you being there," he began again, "but I know it's time for you to do your own thing. You'll be off at Dartmouth and I know you won't be coming home much, and then who knows where you'll want to settle down? You might want to stay in New Hampshire. What I'm trying to say, Bella, is that I know your life is on a different path now. But I'm proud of the way you turned out and glad of my part in it."
I couldn't help the twin tears that strayed from my eyes. I wiped them away quickly. There was more truth in his words than he could have imagined.
"No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I'll always know I have the best father in the world. And no matter what happens, I'll always love you, Dad."
"You too, Bells."
We finally stepped out of the cruiser and I rushed to give him another hug before he returned to his gruff faade. He patted my back as Billy opened the door.
"Good to see you back," Billy said to me. "We didn't know that you'd come back like this." He smiled, but I could hear the note of apprehension in his voice. What he really meant was "we didn't know you'd come back human."
"Well, I'm not at Dartmouth yet," I answered back, sure that he'd understand the double meaning. "Edward and I might come back for Christmas, too." I knew Charlie was smiling behind me at this news. We hadn't talked about Christmas, but I knew he would want to spend it with me. There was always time for the change afterwards.
"Oh?" questioned Billy, "I would have thought you would want to stay there for the whole year, what with plane tickets being so expensive." He was testing me. Using the most plausible excuses for not wanting to return to Forks. Seeing when I was going to let Edward change me and maybe break the ancient treaty between the Pack and the Cullens.
I laughed, but it didn't sound natural to me.
"Well, maybe someday I'll want to stay in New Hampshire for Christmas, but I'm not quite ready to give up spending it with Charlie in Forks."
Billy nodded. He understood.
"There's a game on, Charlie. Why don't you come in and watch it with me? And I think Jacob is down at the beach, Bella, if you'd like to talk to him."
"Yeah, I think I'll meet him down there. I won't be too long, Charlie."
"Take as much time as you want. Who's winning, Billy?"
Charlie went inside the Black's tiny house as they started talking about things like snaps, downs, and sacks.
It didn't take me long to locate Jacob at First Beach. His nearly seven-foot frame stood out. I skidded and nearly stumbled on the multi-colored stones. He looked up quickly at my less than graceful approach. His face broke in an instantaneous wide smile.
"Bella!" He was more than fifty feet away from me but crossed the distance in a few strides. He lifted me off my feet in a bone-crushing hug.
"Jake," I wheezed, "Can't… Breathe."
He let me go.
"You're you! I didn't think I'd see you again like this!"
"Well, here I am," I said, still annoyed at almost having the life squeezed out of me.
Then he looked at me concerned.
"You look alright… so what's going on? Did you decide not to do it, or are you having trouble with the bloodsucker?"
A sudden burst of rage flared in me.
"Edward and I are not having trouble!"
"Then why are you here, you know, like this. Like you."
I sighed. "I just wanted a little more time."
We started walking down the beach. The steady sound of the waves to our right an oddly comforting sound. We were both unconsciously looking for that piece of driftwood that was ours.
"You don't have to do this," Jacob said quietly as we found the bleached white log.
"I want to," I replied, sitting.
"You want to be a monster?"
"It's not like that, Jake, you know it's not. I want, no, I need to be wherever Edward is. This is the only way for me to be with him forever. You know I can't really survive without him."
"Yeah, I know," he said bitterly. "But you don't need to become a bloodsucker too. I know you're having doubts."
"I'm not having doubts!" I exclaimed a bit too defensively.
"Then why put it off, huh? Why not just do it now? Why not just pretend to go to Dartmouth and forget all your friends and family here so you can join your stupid little bloodsucker family and live happily ever after?"
"Because I'm not ready to forget everyone!" I cried. "I need to be with Edward, but I love being human too! I don't know if there could ever be a happily ever after when I have to leave this. I know it's going to hurt when these two parts of me have to separate, but I know I can't have both. And I know that Edward is the only future I'll never be able to live without."
"You're unbelievable! How can you be so aware of everything you're leaving behind, everyone you're hurting, and still choose him? It's not too late, you know. I'd never make you hurt like that, Bella. I'd be able to protect you and love you and you wouldn't have to give up anything about your life. But you don't want what I can give you, so why do I even bother trying?"
Jacob turned from me and started walking quickly down the beach, back to Billy's house.
"Jake! Jacob!" I cried as I jumped up from the log. I stood too quickly, not carefully enough. The stones beneath my feet shifted and I fell, hard, on my back. My head smacked against the driftwood. I was too dazed to do anything when I heard the warning rattle just over my shoulder.
I didn't have time to comprehend what was happening as the grey, black, and orange snake poised to strike. Its head shot out like a bullet and buried it's fangs into my skin, just below the collar bone. I felt the blazing release of its venom into my body.
It burned. I screamed. Jacob was at my side. The thing was striking at him too, but he ignored it.
"It bit me," I said weakly. My head was spinning. I tried to find the cell phone in my pocket, but my hands wouldn't cooperate.
Jacob's face bent to my shoulder, his mouth at the wound. He spit and made a face as he cursed. Suddenly I was in Jacob's arms. I started seeing white splotches, but I thought I saw the phone in Jacob's hand.
"No, it's Jacob," he was saying. We were moving. I thought he must be carrying me. "A snake bit her… By her heart!... Dammit I tried! It's a bad spot… I can't carry her and phase… No, all I have is the Rabbit… Then get to the treaty line!... Then cross it! I'll clear it with Sam later…"
Everything was going from white to black and back again. I thought I heard Charlie and Billy, but their voices sounded wrong, like they were underwater. It burned! My lungs hurt. We were still moving. Jacob's too warm arms were replaced by a pair of cold ones. A voice I'd know anywhere spoke soothing words I couldn't understand.
I tried to tell Edward I loved him, but all that broke through my lips was a scream.
I let the black take me.
Then I was on a flat surface. Edward was telling me to stay with him. That was funny… where else would I go? Wouldn't I always be with him?
I felt a sharp pressure in the middle of my chest.
And then the burning really began.
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