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The True Hazards Of Drinking

officer Newbie
officer
officer

Joined: 09 January 2005
Posts: 29

Posted: 19 January 2005 at 7:40am | IP Logged
If government is going to put health warning labels on beer, wine and
liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness about the matter!

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could
knock a buzzard off a garbage truck at 100 yards.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a jerk, with
assorted things on your head -- lampshades, fruit baskets, underwear...

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over
and over again until your friends want to smash your head in.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay things like thish.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY
THINK while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened
to your pants (panties) anyway.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see
something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on
the forehead.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, more
handsome, and smarter than some really, really, really big biker guy named
"Big Al."

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are
not.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with
other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.

Warning:
Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

popkurn IF-Rockerz
popkurn
popkurn

Joined: 01 December 2004
Posts: 5186

Posted: 19 January 2005 at 4:21pm | IP Logged
hilarious
*~sheena*~ Senior Member
*~sheena*~
*~sheena*~

Joined: 18 November 2004
Posts: 528

Posted: 19 January 2005 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
LOL
|Persephone| IF-Sizzlerz
|Persephone|
|Persephone|

BollyCurry Director, BollyCurry Executive Director
Joined: 30 October 2004
Posts: 14344

Posted: 23 January 2005 at 6:17pm | IP Logged
LOL
-misha IF-Sizzlerz
-misha
-misha

Joined: 23 November 2004
Posts: 11774

Posted: 23 January 2005 at 11:04pm | IP Logged
LOL
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