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jettythegod IF-Rockerz

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Posted: 19 July 2010 at 7:42am | IP Logged
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SolidSnake IF-Rockerz
SolidSnake
SolidSnake

Joined: 12 January 2006
Posts: 6916

Posted: 19 July 2010 at 8:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by jettythegod

today one rowdy auto wala threatened to break my bones if i didnt pay him 10 bucks extra so I took him to the nokia shop and they told him to get the fack outta there lolz or they would call the police.. he showed his teeth and ran away.. actually, since i was bigger than him I kinda was hoping he would try to attack. :P kind of lol


Which city?
jettythegod IF-Rockerz

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return_to_hades IF-Veteran Member
return_to_hades
return_to_hades

Joined: 18 January 2006
Posts: 21481

Posted: 19 July 2010 at 11:35pm | IP Logged

Capitalism and Cows from http://www.manbottle.com/humor/capitalism_and_cows


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon(tm) and market them world-wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You worship them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.

ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. You shred all documents that Enron has any cows, take 2 cows from Enron for payment for consulting the cows, and attest that Enron has 9 cows.

jettythegod IF-Rockerz

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Posted: 19 July 2010 at 11:37pm | IP Logged
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Vinzy IF-Stunnerz
Vinzy
Vinzy

Joined: 03 December 2005
Posts: 27064

Posted: 20 July 2010 at 12:00am | IP Logged


Daughter - Mum, is it true that in India a woman does not know her husband until she marries him?
Mum - That's happens everywhere dear.

Santa was invited to Banta's home for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her 'Jalebi', 'Honey', 'Pyaari', 'Darling', 'Sweetheart' etc.
He was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 40 years.
While the wife was in the kitchen, Santa said, "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call bhabhiji those pet names."
Banta hung his head, "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago."
 

Once a flight was delayed.Thus,there was a huge crowd on the airport.One sardar was sitting on a chair.A man came and asked him,"R U relaxing?"Sardar said, "No, I am Milkha singh!" after some time,the waiting room was full ,there was no place to sit & some people were standing beside the chairs.The sardar had to answer the call of nature but was afraid that he might lose his seat.Finally,he could not control himself.When he came back,he saw a man sitting on his place.The sardar asked,"R U relaxing?".The man said "yes."sardar said "Somebody had come to me asking for U"!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Mister.K. IF-Dazzler

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jettythegod IF-Rockerz

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